--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You are only punishing yourself when you…" description: "\"“You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.”\" — David D..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png" --- # You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a… ![“You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.” quote by David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png) > ““You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.”” [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Punishing oneself by over‑investing in a relationship creates imbalance; respect mutual desire. **In simple terms:** Avoid over‑investing where love isn’t mutual. Key Takeaway Seek balanced, reciprocal connections. Themes relationships self‑respect balance Mood insightful cautious Type advice psychological When to use this quote - dating - personal development - relationship counseling Key Concepts attachment theory boundaries Questions to Reflect On - How do you gauge mutual interest? - What boundaries protect your well‑being? A Different Perspective Self‑worth can be compromised by codependency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Punishing yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/punishing-yourself/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [Having had that experience... I think, what modern culture wants to see is the relationship with the woman. I don't think you can tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-selleck/having-had-that-experience-i-think-what-modern-culture-wants-to-see/) [Tom Selleck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-selleck/) > [Understand this law and you will then know, beyond room for the slightest doubt, that you are constantly punishing yourself for every wrong you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/understand-this-law-and-you-will-then-know-beyond-room-for-the/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [Getting angry is actually punishing yourself with the mistakes of others.. keep smiling :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/getting-angry-is-actually-punishing-yourself-with-the-mistakes-of/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [I understand you denying and punishing yourself. You are used to being told what to think and feel. But in denying and punishing yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-understand-you-denying-and-punishing-yourself-you-are-used-to-being/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Holding grudges for others is like punishing yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chwayita-betshe/holding-grudges-for-others-is-like-punishing-yourself/) [Chwayita Betshe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chwayita-betshe/) > [Bitterness is actually punishing yourself with the ones who'd done mistakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jcalex-maneja/bitterness-is-actually-punishing-yourself-with-the-ones-who-d-done/) [Jcalex Maneja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jcalex-maneja/) > [“When you release yourself from the need for approval and control you can stop punishing yourself and others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/when-you-release-yourself-from-the-need-for-approval-and-control-you/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [“Stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart. You cannot protect yourself from suffering. To live is to grieve. You are not protecting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/stop-punishing-yourself-for-being-someone-with-a-heart-you-cannot/) [Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/) > [Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cohen/guilt-punishing-yourself-before-god-doesn-t/) [Alan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cohen/) > [Getting angry is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/divya/getting-angry-is-punishing-yourself-for-the-mistakes-of-others/) [Divya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/divya/) > [Why do you do these things to yourself? Not just what you did to the window, but the way you talked to Clary. What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/why-do-you-do-these-things-to-yourself-not-just-what-you-did-to-the/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [There are a lot of guys who think that if they show weakness or vulnerability they're not sexy anymore or attractive. In my opinion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-fox/there-are-a-lot-of-guys-who-think-that-if-they-show-weakness-or/) [Megan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-fox/) > [Everyone wants too be in a relationship but half don't want to be faithful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-wants-too-be-in-a-relationship-but-half-don-t-want-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Is that one of your go to lines when a girl asks for something more than a twenty-four hour Jude furlough?" Tapping the back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/is-that-one-of-your-go-to-lines-when-a-girl-asks-for-something-more/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“This is what God wants most from you: a relationship!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/this-is-what-god-wants-most-from-you-a-relationship/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) ## More by David Deida > [Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/live-with-your-lips-pressed-against-your-fears-kissing-your-fears/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/men-who-have-lived-significant-lives-are-men-who-never-waited-not-for/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/stop-waiting-feel-everything-love-achingly-give-impeccably-let-go/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Love is beauty, consciousness is trust. One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/love-is-beauty-consciousness-is-trust-one-of-the-deepest-feminine/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [The only way to live free, the only way to live your life as an offering of love, is to feel everything fully and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/the-only-way-to-live-free-the-only-way-to-live-your-life-as-an/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [We're here to learn how to worship consciousness and radiance, evoke it in each other, and tolerate nothing less than our deepest love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/we-re-here-to-learn-how-to-worship-consciousness-and-radiance-evoke/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Very few of us trust our immediate connection with nature, or the intuitive intelligence of our body. All too easily, we align ourselves with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/very-few-of-us-trust-our-immediate-connection-with-nature-or-the/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [You are either withholding your love in fear or giving your deepest gifts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/you-are-either-withholding-your-love-in-fear-or-giving-your-deepest/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [One misunderstandin g is that if you do the right thing, then life's storms will stop. If you do the right thing, the storms…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/one-misunderstandin-g-is-that-if-you-do-the-right-thing-then-life-s/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [By healing our internal divisions and fully accepting ourselves as we are, we learn to accept and empower our sexual core, and we learn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/by-healing-our-internal-divisions-and-fully-accepting-ourselves-as-we/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [By learning to open your heart and body while embracing and trusting all energies, from rough ravishment to sublime gentleness, you can open to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/by-learning-to-open-your-heart-and-body-while-embracing-and-trusting/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Spiritual practice is the capacity to offer your love even when you feel hurt, closed down, tense, angry, misunderstood, or hated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/spiritual-practice-is-the-capacity-to-offer-your-love-even-when-you/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [If knowing the truth is sufficient for you, then practice the art of philosophy. If only living the truth will suffice, then practice the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/if-knowing-the-truth-is-sufficient-for-you-then-practice-the-art-of/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/every-man-knows-that-his-highest-purpose-in-life-cannot-be-reduced-to/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) > [We eventually learn that emotional closure is our own action. We can be responsible for it. In any moment, we can choose to open…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/we-eventually-learn-that-emotional-closure-is-our-own-action-we-can/) [David Deida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) [Explore all 106 David Deida quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/) ## More Punishing quotes > [You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a fully loaded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/you-re-punishing-him-over-and-over-for-things-that-are-out-of-his/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [Understand this law and you will then know, beyond room for the slightest doubt, that you are constantly punishing yourself for every wrong you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/understand-this-law-and-you-will-then-know-beyond-room-for-the/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [“It is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muhammad/it-is-better-for-a-leader-to-make-a-mistake-in-forgiving-than-to-make/) [Muhammad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muhammad/) > [“When he broke that long kiss, he smiled at her before kissing her hard. “So, my love, I hope that your punishment will stop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khul-waters/when-he-broke-that-long-kiss-he-smiled-at-her-before-kissing-her-hard/) [Khul Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khul-waters/) > [When God takes away something from your hands, don't ever think that He is punishing you instead He is just leaving you empty handed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernajoy-vaal/when-god-takes-away-something-from-your-hands-don-t-ever-think-that/) [Bernajoy Vaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernajoy-vaal/) > [Chemo is properly punishing, and it's hard to do things at the usual level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grant-shapps/chemo-is-properly-punishing-and-it-s-hard-to-do-things-at-the-usual/) [Grant Shapps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grant-shapps/) > [Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/poverty-can-t-be-eliminated-by-punishing-people-who-ve-escaped-poverty/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Depression is so treacherous - it can be so alluring as well as punishing. After all, it's yours and yours alone - no one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margo-jefferson/depression-is-so-treacherous-it-can-be-so-alluring-as-well-as/) [Margo Jefferson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margo-jefferson/) > [“Maybe we're mad at someone else and we want to punish him by punishing ourselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jocelyn-soriano/maybe-we-re-mad-at-someone-else-and-we-want-to-punish-him-by/) [Jocelyn Soriano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jocelyn-soriano/) > [Getting angry is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/divya/getting-angry-is-punishing-yourself-for-the-mistakes-of-others/) [Divya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/divya/) > [Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tahl-raz/customers-are-enormously-punishing-when-companies-don-t-meet-their/) [Tahl Raz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tahl-raz/) > [Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cohen/guilt-punishing-yourself-before-god-doesn-t/) [Alan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cohen/) > [“It was a punishing whim on my part, a nasty, selfish twist of the knife.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-flynn/it-was-a-punishing-whim-on-my-part-a-nasty-selfish-twist-of-the-knife/) [Gillian Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-flynn/) > [Making improvements to our background check system and cracking down on illegal gun trafficking are common-sense ways to prevent violence without punishing law abiding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-heinrich/making-improvements-to-our-background-check-system-and-cracking-down/) [Martin Heinrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-heinrich/) > [Hurricanes are evolutions way of punishing nonbelievers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-fowler/hurricanes-are-evolutions-way-of-punishing-nonbelievers/) [Steve Fowler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-fowler/) Browse all 116 Punishing quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Deida" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you-want-to-be-in-a-relationship/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Punishing" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you-want-to-be-in-a-relationship/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/david-deida-4851_punishing_you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you_1423056.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be…” — David Deida", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "David Deida", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-deida/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“You are only punishing yourself when...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you-want-to-be-in-a-relationship/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-deida/you-are-only-punishing-yourself-when-you-want-to-be-in-a-relationship/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```