--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I decided to masturbate with shampoo…" description: "\"“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.”\" — Dave Matthes" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/dave-matthes-25447_ass_i-decided-to-masturbate-with-shampoo-ins_1792976.jpg" --- # I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of… ![“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.” quote by Dave Matthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/dave-matthes-25447_ass_i-decided-to-masturbate-with-shampoo-ins_1792976.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/dave-matthes-25447_ass_i-decided-to-masturbate-with-shampoo-ins_1792976.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/dave-matthes-25447_ass_i-decided-to-masturbate-with-shampoo-ins_1792976.jpg) > ““I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.”” [Dave Matthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous, irreverent statement about personal choices and pop culture references. **In simple terms:** A funny comment about personal habits and pop culture. Key Takeaway Embrace humor in everyday decisions. Themes humor pop culture personal choice Mood playful irreverent Type satirical anecdotal When to use this quote - social media posts - casual conversations - personal blogs Key Concepts irreverence self‑expression Questions to Reflect On - What does this say about modern internet humor? - How do we balance shock value with respect? A Different Perspective May be seen as offensive or inappropriate by some audiences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass/) [Bastard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bastard/) [Booze](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/booze/) [Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/) [Decided Masturbate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decided-masturbate-1963357/) [Erotic-romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/erotic-romance/) [Erotica](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/erotica/) [Hair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hair/) [Hilarious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hilarious/) [Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/) [Jesus Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jesus-said/) [Masturbate Shampoo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masturbate-shampoo-1963356/) [Shampoo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shampoo/) [Shampoo Instead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shampoo-instead-1963358/) ## Related quotes > [“You know one day, you're going to look back on these days. 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I was up for the part in Shampoo and friends of mine kept telling me she was going around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-fisher/this-actress-named-lisa-eilbacher-i-was-up-for-the-part-in-shampoo/) [Carrie Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-fisher/) > [I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wanda-sykes/i-knew-something-was-wrong-with-the-economy-when-the-shampoo-girl-at/) [Wanda Sykes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wanda-sykes/) > [I usually go to Lush for hair products. I had no idea that this existed, but they have a shampoo rock, and it looks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-serratos/i-usually-go-to-lush-for-hair-products-i-had-no-idea-that-this/) [Christian Serratos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-serratos/) > [I love the smell of shampoo on a girl's hair. You can walk past someone and be like, 'Wow, you took a shower this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jensen-ackles/i-love-the-smell-of-shampoo-on-a-girl-s-hair-you-can-walk-past/) [Jensen Ackles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jensen-ackles/) > [I can't live without mousse. When my hair is damp I put it at the roots. When I blow dry my hair it makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shay-mitchell/i-can-t-live-without-mousse-when-my-hair-is-damp-i-put-it-at-the/) [Shay Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shay-mitchell/) > [To remove product buildup from your hair, mix a tablespoon of vinegar in your hand with your favorite shampoo and rub through your hair.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-gibson/to-remove-product-buildup-from-your-hair-mix-a-tablespoon-of-vinegar/) [Ted Gibson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-gibson/) > [He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jk-rowling/he-can-run-faster-than-severus-snape-confronted-with-shampoo-j-k/) [JK Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jk-rowling/) > [Hair wax is my go-to. When it comes to shampoo, I use whatever is at the rink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-hagelin/hair-wax-is-my-go-to-when-it-comes-to-shampoo-i-use-whatever-is-at/) [Carl Hagelin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-hagelin/) > [You smell good." "It's called a shower. Soap, shampoo, water-" "Naked. I know the drill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becca-fitzpatrick/you-smell-good-it-s-called-a-shower-soap-shampoo-water-naked-i-know/) [Becca Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becca-fitzpatrick/) > [“I don't even use the stupid shampoo.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-s-king/i-don-t-even-use-the-stupid-shampoo/) [A.S. King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-king/) ## More by Dave Matthes > [“Some people's glasses are half full. I'm the one drinking them. Some people have forgotten that Pluto is still a planet. I still remember…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-matthes/some-people-s-glasses-are-half-full-i-m-the-one-drinking-them-some/) [Dave Matthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthes/) > [“There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slut for life. 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All thoughts welcome!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/olivia-wilde/friends-haters-it-s-twitter-poll-time-what-do-you-think-most-holds/) [Olivia Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/olivia-wilde/) > [Held in the palms of thousands of disgruntled people over the centuries have been ideas worth millions - if they only had taken the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-hayes/held-in-the-palms-of-thousands-of-disgruntled-people-over-the/) [Robert M. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-hayes/) [Browse all 1,551 Ass quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. 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