--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What I want to write is that I lay there…" description: "\"“What I want to write is that I lay there until morning, with tear-stained eyes, a tear-stained pillow, a tear-stained life. What can one do with level..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/211/darin-strauss-17945_bewilderment_what-i-want-to-write-is-that-i-lay-there_2702264.png" --- # What I want to write is that I lay there until morning… ![“What I want to write is that I lay there until morning, with tear-stained eyes, a tear-stained pillow, a tear-stained life. What can one do with levels of gloom and guilt, fear and disbelief, of bewilderment above one's capacity to register? I slept soundly.” quote by Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/211/darin-strauss-17945_bewilderment_what-i-want-to-write-is-that-i-lay-there_2702264.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/211/darin-strauss-17945_bewilderment_what-i-want-to-write-is-that-i-lay-there_2702264.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/211/darin-strauss-17945_bewilderment_what-i-want-to-write-is-that-i-lay-there_2702264.png) > ““What I want to write is that I lay there until morning, with tear-stained eyes, a tear-stained pillow, a tear-stained life. What can one do with levels of gloom and guilt, fear and disbelief, of bewilderment above one's capacity to register? I slept soundly.”” [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker describes deep sorrow and existential overwhelm, feeling trapped by guilt, fear, and bewilderment that disrupts sleep. **In simple terms:** Intense grief can dominate thoughts and sleep. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and process painful emotions. Themes grief mental health existentialism Mood somber introspective Type personal emotional When to use this quote - therapy sessions - journaling - support groups - mindfulness practice Key Concepts emotional trauma nighttime anxiety Questions to Reflect On - What emotions are you avoiding? - How can you safely express grief? A Different Perspective Ignoring pain may worsen mental health. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bewilderment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bewilderment/) [Disbelief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disbelief/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Sad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sad/) [Subconscious mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/subconscious-mind/) ## Related quotes > [“What can one do with levels of gloom and guilt, fear and disbelief, of bewilderment above one's capacity to register?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/what-can-one-do-with-levels-of-gloom-and-guilt-fear-and-disbelief-of/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [In the morning, you tear up the pages of your fever, but every word naturally leads you back to its color, its night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmond-jab-s/in-the-morning-you-tear-up-the-pages-of-your-fever-but-every-word/) [Edmond Jabes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmond-jab-s/) > [The angel lost her grace, As mascara ran down her face. She forgot love, remembered hate. She no longer had her faith. With tear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-angel-lost-her-grace-as-mascara-ran-down-her-face-she-forgot-love/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Tear-stained flops are necessary. They're the gift you give yourself when you're willing to fly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-genn/tear-stained-flops-are-necessary-they-re-the-gift-you-give-yourself/) [Sara Genn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-genn/) > [Through these tears of yonder years and yonder days forlorn. There lies a screaming, bleeding soul waiting to be reborn And as I lay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/im-nothing/through-these-tears-of-yonder-years-and-yonder-days-forlorn-there/) Im Nothing > [“The part of the brain that isn't automatic is an imagining machine, feeling all possibilities of feelings: it keeps pushing its way into this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/the-part-of-the-brain-that-isn-t-automatic-is-an-imagining-machine/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [Sell your presence and purchase bewilderment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/sell-your-presence-and-purchase-bewilderment/) [Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/) > [It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream--making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-conrad/it-seems-to-me-i-am-trying-to-tell-you-a-dream-making-a-vain-attempt/) [Joseph Conrad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-conrad/) > [Bewilderment increases in the presence of the mirrors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarjei-vesaas/bewilderment-increases-in-the-presence-of-the-mirrors/) [Tarjei Vesaas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarjei-vesaas/) > [“Does that mean", I said in some bewilderment, "that we must eat again of the tree of knowledge in order to return to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heinrich-von-kleist/does-that-mean-i-said-in-some-bewilderment-that-we-must-eat-again-of/) [Heinrich von Kleist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heinrich-von-kleist/) > [“The aim of Operation Mindfuck was to lead people into such a heightened state of bewilderment and confusion that their rigid beliefs would shatter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-higgs/the-aim-of-operation-mindfuck-was-to-lead-people-into-such-a/) John Higgs > [Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-thurber/love-is-the-strange-bewilderment-that-overtakes-one-person-on-account/) [James Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-thurber/) > [Whoever determines the truth from people alone will remain lost in the plains of bewilderment. Rather, know the truth, and you will know its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-ghazali/whoever-determines-the-truth-from-people-alone-will-remain-lost-in/) [Al-Ghazali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-ghazali/) > [Both the five-year-olds looked at me with bewilderment and a bit of fearful uncertainty. I had a sudden horrifying image of the woman I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/both-the-five-year-olds-looked-at-me-with-bewilderment-and-a-bit-of/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [The emancipated woman has to fight something worse than the crusted prejudices of her uncles; she has to fight the bewilderment in her own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-lippmann/the-emancipated-woman-has-to-fight-something-worse-than-the-crusted/) [Walter Lippmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-lippmann/) ## More by Darin Strauss > [A tragedy's first act is crowded with supporting players: witnesses crimping their faces, policemen scribbling in pads and making radio calls, EMS guys unfolding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/a-tragedy-s-first-act-is-crowded-with-supporting-players-witnesses/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [I'd violated the primary rule of junior and senior high-- don't get people talking about you too much. This was wearing the brightest shirt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/i-d-violated-the-primary-rule-of-junior-and-senior-high-don-t-get/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“We can try our human best at the crucial moment, and it might not be good neough.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/we-can-try-our-human-best-at-the-crucial-moment-and-it-might-not-be/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“What can one do with levels of gloom and guilt, fear and disbelief, of bewilderment above one's capacity to register?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/what-can-one-do-with-levels-of-gloom-and-guilt-fear-and-disbelief-of/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [Everybody wants life to speak to them with special kindness. 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Time transforms things- it has to, because the change from me to we means clearing away the fortifications you'r put up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/relationships-are-physics-time-transforms-things-it-has-to-because/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [I think each family has a funhouse logic all its own, and in that distortion,in that delusion, all behavior can seem both perfectly normal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/i-think-each-family-has-a-funhouse-logic-all-its-own-and-in-that/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“Things don't go away. They become you. There is no end, as T.S. Eliot somewhere says, but addition: the trailing consequence of further days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/things-don-t-go-away-they-become-you-there-is-no-end-as-t-s-eliot/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“What's impossible to communicate, what you can't experience unless you're part of it, is the sensation of being in a real-life marriage. Even little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/what-s-impossible-to-communicate-what-you-can-t-experience-unless-you/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“We’re all pretty much able to deal even with the worst that life can fire at us, if we simply admit that it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/we-re-all-pretty-much-able-to-deal-even-with-the-worst-that-life-can/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [The cracks in old friendships are measured in awkward pauses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/the-cracks-in-old-friendships-are-measured-in-awkward-pauses/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [I've come to see our central nervous system as a kind of vintage switchboard, all thick foam wires and old-fashioned plugs. The circuitry isn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/i-ve-come-to-see-our-central-nervous-system-as-a-kind-of-vintage/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) > [“She’s both striking and practical, somehow, like the string of rope lights around the banister that dangles and loops and steers you upstairs to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darin-strauss/she-s-both-striking-and-practical-somehow-like-the-string-of-rope/) [Darin Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) [Explore all 36 Darin Strauss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darin-strauss/) ## More Bewilderment quotes > [The emancipated woman has to fight something worse than the crusted prejudices of her uncles; she has to fight the bewilderment in her own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-lippmann/the-emancipated-woman-has-to-fight-something-worse-than-the-crusted/) [Walter Lippmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-lippmann/) > [Both the five-year-olds looked at me with bewilderment and a bit of fearful uncertainty. I had a sudden horrifying image of the woman I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/both-the-five-year-olds-looked-at-me-with-bewilderment-and-a-bit-of/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [Whoever determines the truth from people alone will remain lost in the plains of bewilderment. Rather, know the truth, and you will know its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-ghazali/whoever-determines-the-truth-from-people-alone-will-remain-lost-in/) [Al-Ghazali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-ghazali/) > [Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-thurber/love-is-the-strange-bewilderment-that-overtakes-one-person-on-account/) [James Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-thurber/) > [“The aim of Operation Mindfuck was to lead people into such a heightened state of bewilderment and confusion that their rigid beliefs would shatter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-higgs/the-aim-of-operation-mindfuck-was-to-lead-people-into-such-a/) John Higgs > [“Does that mean", I said in some bewilderment, "that we must eat again of the tree of knowledge in order to return to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heinrich-von-kleist/does-that-mean-i-said-in-some-bewilderment-that-we-must-eat-again-of/) [Heinrich von Kleist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heinrich-von-kleist/) > [Bewilderment increases in the presence of the mirrors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarjei-vesaas/bewilderment-increases-in-the-presence-of-the-mirrors/) [Tarjei Vesaas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarjei-vesaas/) > [It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream--making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-conrad/it-seems-to-me-i-am-trying-to-tell-you-a-dream-making-a-vain-attempt/) [Joseph Conrad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-conrad/) > [Sell your presence and purchase bewilderment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/sell-your-presence-and-purchase-bewilderment/) [Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/) > [I was set down from the carrier's cart at the age of three; and there with a sense of bewilderment and terror my life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-lee/i-was-set-down-from-the-carrier-s-cart-at-the-age-of-three-and-there/) [Laurie Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-lee/) > [Our ignorance can be divided into problems and mysteries. When we face a problem, we may not know its solution, but we have insight,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/our-ignorance-can-be-divided-into-problems-and-mysteries-when-we-face/) [Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/) > [To the human mind there is something almost illogical in the assertion that God became a man. It is like speaking about a square…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-p-martin/to-the-human-mind-there-is-something-almost-illogical-in-the/) Ralph P. Martin > [I don't think all poems need to be written in conversational language - those are often great poems but there should also be poems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthea-harvey/i-don-t-think-all-poems-need-to-be-written-in-conversational-language/) [Matthea Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthea-harvey/) > [People in this world look at things mistakenly, and think that what they do not understand must be the void. This is not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miyamoto-musashi/people-in-this-world-look-at-things-mistakenly-and-think-that-what/) [Miyamoto Musashi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miyamoto-musashi/) > [“When we start raising different inconsistent truths, life may tip into bewilderment and the brain may go haywire. The confrontation between what is, not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-pevernagie/when-we-start-raising-different-inconsistent-truths-life-may-tip-into/) [Erik Pevernagie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-pevernagie/) [Browse all 96 Bewilderment quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bewilderment/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“What I want to write is that I lay there until morning, with tear-stained eyes, a tear-stained pillow, a tear-stained life. What can one do with levels of gloom and guilt, fear and disbelief, of bewilderment above one's capacity to register? 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