--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But there is also something inherently…" description: "\"“But there is also something inherently shameful in the rescuer-rescued relationship - the humiliation of being reduced to depending on another person ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7be/dara-horn-27319_gratitude_but-there-is-also-something-inherently-s_1673999.jpg" --- # But there is also something inherently shameful in the… ![“But there is also something inherently shameful in the rescuer-rescued relationship - the humiliation of being reduced to depending on another person for survival - and that shame expresses itself and resentment toward rescuers… Gratitude is what makes you hate someone.” quote by Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7be/dara-horn-27319_gratitude_but-there-is-also-something-inherently-s_1673999.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7be/dara-horn-27319_gratitude_but-there-is-also-something-inherently-s_1673999.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7be/dara-horn-27319_gratitude_but-there-is-also-something-inherently-s_1673999.jpg) > ““But there is also something inherently shameful in the rescuer-rescued relationship - the humiliation of being reduced to depending on another person for survival - and that shame expresses itself and resentment toward rescuers… Gratitude is what makes you hate someone.”” [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The dynamic of dependence can breed shame and resentment, turning gratitude into animosity toward those who help. **In simple terms:** Dependence can cause shame and resentment. Key Takeaway Recognize and address hidden resentment in supportive relationships. Themes dependence shame gratitude resentment Mood conflicted reflective Type analytical philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - caregiving - therapy - support groups Key Concepts psychology power dynamics emotional health Questions to Reflect On - How does dependence affect your feelings toward helpers? - Can gratitude coexist with resentment? A Different Perspective Resentment may persist even when help is sincere. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Gratitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gratitude/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Rescuers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rescuers/) [Resentment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resentment/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) ## Related quotes > [“God has a way of picking a “nobody” and turning their world upside down, in order to create a “somebody” that will remove the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/god-has-a-way-of-picking-a-nobody-and-turning-their-world-upside-down/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [“If you ever feel the person in your life needs rescuing, particularly from him or herself - beware. 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This is for them to do. —…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-sex/the-actions-and-emotional-responses-of-others-are-not-your/) [Nikki Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-sex/) > [“Words matter, but what matters more than words is forgiveness and compassion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/words-matter-but-what-matters-more-than-words-is-forgiveness-and/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [“It takes a hell of a lot of courage to walk into your own story, but to be the hero of your own life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/it-takes-a-hell-of-a-lot-of-courage-to-walk-into-your-own-story-but/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [The only requisite to entry into the Middle Passage is to have discovered that one does not know who one is, that there are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-hollis/the-only-requisite-to-entry-into-the-middle-passage-is-to-have/) [James Hollis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-hollis/) ## More by Dara Horn > [The wicked will run to the iron bridge, but it will collapse under their weight. The righteous will cross the paper bridge, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/the-wicked-will-run-to-the-iron-bridge-but-it-will-collapse-under/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [“I believe that when people die, they go to the same place as all the people who haven’t yet been born. That’s why it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/i-believe-that-when-people-die-they-go-to-the-same-place-as-all-the/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [“Ben, everything is going to get better," he heard her say in the void. "Really. It has to get better, because it can't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/ben-everything-is-going-to-get-better-he-heard-her-say-in-the-void/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [Love your fellow, and not just those who agree with you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/love-your-fellow-and-not-just-those-who-agree-with-you/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [And the reward when good people die - her mother paused, swallowed, paused again - the reward when good people die is that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/and-the-reward-when-good-people-die-her-mother-paused-swallowed/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [Time itself is created through deeds of true kindness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/time-itself-is-created-through-deeds-of-true-kindness/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [“There is a moment that has happened over and over again, in every place children have ever slept, on every dark night for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dara-horn/there-is-a-moment-that-has-happened-over-and-over-again-in-every/) [Dara Horn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dara-horn/) > [“Hair in darkness doesn’t feel the way it does in light. 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It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-seldom-experience-regret-for-anything-that-you-ve-done-it-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [One can put some trust in the gratitude of a sovereign, and also in that of his family; under certain conditions, one can even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/otto-von-bismarck/one-can-put-some-trust-in-the-gratitude-of-a-sovereign-and-also-in/) [Otto von Bismarck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/otto-von-bismarck/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. 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Because how else do we accept His free gift of salvation if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/we-only-enter-into-the-full-life-if-our-faith-gives-thanks-because/) [Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/) > [I listen to heavy metal thanks to my son. When I argue with him on the kind of music he is listening to, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zeenat-aman/i-listen-to-heavy-metal-thanks-to-my-son-when-i-argue-with-him-on-the/) [Zeenat Aman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zeenat-aman/) > [“Thanks for teaching us to talk. Thanks for teaching us to be of the world and in the world and to make our way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-isay/thanks-for-teaching-us-to-talk-thanks-for-teaching-us-to-be-of-the/) [Dave Isay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-isay/) > [Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/wine-is-one-of-the-most-civilized-things-in-the-world-and-one-of-the/) [Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/) > [I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gib-lewis/i-want-to-thank-each-and-every-one-of-you-for-having-extinguished/) [Gib Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gib-lewis/) > [There is nothing that we can properly call our own but our time, and yet everybody fools us out of it who has a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-is-nothing-that-we-can-properly-call-our-own-but-our-time-and/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) > [Be in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. 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