--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…" description: "\"“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’s lived his whole life like a turtle, within an emotional carapace that makes for the perfect defense: there’..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/daniel-wallace-11229_life_i-don-t-know-whether-to-laugh-or-cry-he_241167.jpg" --- # I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’s lived his whole… ![“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’s lived his whole life like a turtle, within an emotional carapace that makes for the perfect defense: there’s absolutely no way in. My hope is that in these last moments he’ll show me the vulnerable and tender underbelly of his self, but this isn’t…” quote by Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/daniel-wallace-11229_life_i-don-t-know-whether-to-laugh-or-cry-he_241167.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/daniel-wallace-11229_life_i-don-t-know-whether-to-laugh-or-cry-he_241167.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/daniel-wallace-11229_life_i-don-t-know-whether-to-laugh-or-cry-he_241167.jpg) > ““I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’s lived his whole life like a turtle, within an emotional carapace that makes for the perfect defense: there’s absolutely no way in. My hope is that in these last moments he’ll show me the vulnerable and tender underbelly of his self, but this isn’t happening, yet, and I’m a fool to think that it will. This is the way it has gone from the beginning: every time we get close to something meaningful, serious, or delicate, he tells a joke. There is a never a yes or no, what do you think, here, according to me, is the meaning of life. “Why”” [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker expresses frustration that the person hides behind humor, never revealing true feelings, making it hard to find genuine connection or meaning. **In simple terms:** Someone uses jokes to avoid vulnerability, blocking real connection. Key Takeaway Recognize humor as a shield and seek authentic dialogue. Themes vulnerability communication authenticity humor relationships Mood conflicted hopeful Type observational contemplative When to use this quote - personal relationships - conflict resolution - self‑reflection Key Concepts defense mechanisms emotional intimacy meaning of life Questions to Reflect On - How does humor protect us from pain? - What steps can foster genuine openness? A Different Perspective Humor can be a coping tool, not just avoidance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Laugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laugh/) [Laugh Lived](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/laugh-lived-2416808/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Meaning life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/meaning-life/) [Meaning of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/meaning-of-life/) [Tells Joke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tells-joke-1050822/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Turtle Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/turtle-emotional-2416807/) [Whole life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/whole-life/) ## Related quotes > [If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/if-a-comedian-tells-a-joke-that-you-find-funny-you-laugh-if-he-tells-2/) [Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/) > [“Cricket tells a joke and turns to see if I'm laughing, if I think he's funny, and I want him to know that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/cricket-tells-a-joke-and-turns-to-see-if-i-m-laughing-if-i-think-he-s-2/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“She never laughs or smiles or tells a joke. She reminds me of a robot caked in meat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-quick/she-never-laughs-or-smiles-or-tells-a-joke-she-reminds-me-of-a-robot/) [Matthew Quick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-quick/) > [It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-wynne-jones/it-seems-to-me-that-humour-is-everybody-s-way-of-keeping-sane-and/) [Diana Wynne Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-wynne-jones/) > [If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, don't laugh.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/if-a-comedian-tells-a-joke-that-you-find-funny-you-laugh-if-he-tells/) [Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/) > [There is the fence of humour that makes light of any personal inquiry or tells a joke to deflect an intimate connection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola-http-wwwamoreloveforlifecom/there-is-the-fence-of-humour-that-makes-light-of-any-personal-inquiry/) [Kemmy Nola Http://wwwamoreloveforlifecom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola-http-wwwamoreloveforlifecom/) > [“Arthur laughs at his son’s embarrassment, though he also knows that this is exactly the kind of thing he likes about her. What does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-cronin/arthur-laughs-at-his-son-s-embarrassment-though-he-also-knows-that/) [Justin Cronin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-cronin/) > [“Cricket tells a joke and turns to see if I'm laughing, if I think he's funny, and I want him to know that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/cricket-tells-a-joke-and-turns-to-see-if-i-m-laughing-if-i-think-he-s/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-germond/candidates-should-be-extremely-cautious-in-displaying-a-sense-of/) [Jack Germond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-germond/) > [The meaning of life has not much to do with good and evil, right and wrong, duty, honor, country, or any of that. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-demille/the-meaning-of-life-has-not-much-to-do-with-good-and-evil-right-and/) [Nelson DeMille](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-demille/) > [“Men are just men - it is what they do, or refuse to do, that links them to good and evil. The truth is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-david-roberts/men-are-just-men-it-is-what-they-do-or-refuse-to-do-that-links-them/) [Gregory David Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-david-roberts/) > [My hands were too soft.. I had to find some special occupation, some kind of work that would not force me to turn away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-chagall/my-hands-were-too-soft-i-had-to-find-some-special-occupation-some/) [Marc Chagall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-chagall/) > [For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/viktor-e-frankl/for-the-meaning-of-life-differs-from-man-to-man-from-day-to-day-and/) [Viktor E. Frankl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/viktor-e-frankl/) > [Face Everything in your life, it will make you discover many things and you will realize the true meaning of life. Life never seems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sushan-sharma/face-everything-in-your-life-it-will-make-you-discover-many-things/) [Sushan Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sushan-sharma/) > [She didn't need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/she-didn-t-need-to-understand-the-meaning-of-life-it-was-enough-to/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) ## More by Daniel Wallace > [“Magic is dangerous: it's neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; it can be both a blessing and a curse. 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No. A sensible dream is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/mine-was-a-crazy-dream-but-what-dream-isn-t-crazy-can-a-dream-be-a/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“Word of his great strength, intelligence, and perseverance had spread even this far, and yet his youth was such that my father knew he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/word-of-his-great-strength-intelligence-and-perseverance-had-spread/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“Dying, he has that look dying people get in their eyes sometimes, happy and sad, tired and spiritually blessed, all at the same time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/dying-he-has-that-look-dying-people-get-in-their-eyes-sometimes-happy/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“He was just changing, transforming himself into something new and different to carry his life forward in. All”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/he-was-just-changing-transforming-himself-into-something-new-and/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“It was laid out much like any other town—thoughtlessly, and in haste. Here is where the rich people lived, and here the workers. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/it-was-laid-out-much-like-any-other-town-thoughtlessly-and-in-haste/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“We are part of an energy larger than ourselves, and we play roles in a cosmic fabric that outstrip our incarnate understanding.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/we-are-part-of-an-energy-larger-than-ourselves-and-we-play-roles-in-a/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“You are a good dad,” I say. “Thanks,” he says, and his eyelids flutter a bit, as if he’s heard what he’s come to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/you-are-a-good-dad-i-say-thanks-he-says-and-his-eyelids-flutter-a-bit/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“The day Edward Bloom was born, it rained.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/the-day-edward-bloom-was-born-it-rained/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [The ending is always a surprise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/the-ending-is-always-a-surprise/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“Being alone was lonely, but there was an even greater loneliness sometimes when he was surrounded by a lot of other people who were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/being-alone-was-lonely-but-there-was-an-even-greater-loneliness/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) > [“To get in cars and drive down roads all over the country, all over the world, to drive just as slowly as the law…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-wallace/to-get-in-cars-and-drive-down-roads-all-over-the-country-all-over-the/) [Daniel Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) [Explore all 60 Daniel Wallace quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-wallace/) ## More Laugh quotes > [I always like a character who makes me laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachael-stirling/i-always-like-a-character-who-makes-me-laugh/) [Rachael Stirling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachael-stirling/) > [You can laugh at me, but I understand show business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ksenia-sobchak/you-can-laugh-at-me-but-i-understand-show-business/) [Ksenia Sobchak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ksenia-sobchak/) > [I wouldn't want people to laugh at me. That's why I have to give all that I can, and at least produce something that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhao-wei/i-wouldn-t-want-people-to-laugh-at-me-that-s-why-i-have-to-give-all/) [Zhao Wei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhao-wei/) > [“Laugh and grow strong”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ignatius-of-loyola/laugh-and-grow-strong/) [Ignatius of Loyola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ignatius-of-loyola/) > [I do love to laugh!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-giudice/i-do-love-to-laugh/) [Teresa Giudice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-giudice/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [Troy was a sweet, good man. We just were never destined to be married. 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