--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I think honesty and love help to create…" description: "\"“I think honesty and love help to create the safety that children need to just be children. If we want them to “fix” us, to cure us, to make us better,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b9/daniel-gottlieb-16071_bad-day_i-think-honesty-and-love-help-to-create_1637034.jpg" --- # I think honesty and love help to create the safety that… ![“I think honesty and love help to create the safety that children need to just be children. If we want them to “fix” us, to cure us, to make us better, then we are not being honest with ourselves; we know that children can’t heal us or heal our relationships with others. That is beyond their…” quote by Daniel Gottlieb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b9/daniel-gottlieb-16071_bad-day_i-think-honesty-and-love-help-to-create_1637034.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b9/daniel-gottlieb-16071_bad-day_i-think-honesty-and-love-help-to-create_1637034.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b9/daniel-gottlieb-16071_bad-day_i-think-honesty-and-love-help-to-create_1637034.jpg) > ““I think honesty and love help to create the safety that children need to just be children. If we want them to “fix” us, to cure us, to make us better, then we are not being honest with ourselves; we know that children can’t heal us or heal our relationships with others. That is beyond their capabilities, and it is certainly not their responsibility. On the other hand, we are not being honest or loving if we hide our fears and ask them to pretend that world is different from what they see. The child of an alcoholic father, for instance, can see that the father’s drinking is out of control. If the mother says, “Your father doesn’t have a problem. He’s just had a bad day at the office,” then the child feels terribly unsafe. But picture a mother who could say, “Your father has an illness called alcoholism, and it’s out of control right now. I can understand that it’s frightening to you, and sometimes it’s frightening to me. I’m doing the best I can - we’re all doing the best we can to make it better for all of us.” Just hearing that, the child feels safer in an unsafe environment. And that’s my point about honesty. I think we owe honesty to our children, because when we try to force safety on them without being honest, it begins to feel unsafe. When we try to hide our fears, our depressions, or our vulnerability, our children pick them up and try to take care of us. I think we owe it to our children to be strong enough to show our weakness. If we can show that we have the kind of strength it takes to talk about our weakness and our fears, then they’ll feel safe in that strength. And our fears will not threaten them.”” [Daniel Gottlieb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-gottlieb/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Honesty and love create safety for children; hiding adult fears harms them, while transparent communication builds trust and security. **In simple terms:** Be honest with children about difficulties. Key Takeaway Share truth to foster safety. Themes honesty parenting trust Mood empathetic thoughtful Type advice reflective When to use this quote - parent‑child conversations - family therapy - support groups - education settings Key Concepts emotional intelligence family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can parents model healthy vulnerability? - What boundaries protect both child and adult? A Different Perspective Adults may fear vulnerability; cultural norms may discourage openness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bad day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-day/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Honesty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/honesty/) [Honesty Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/honesty-children-535009/) [Honesty Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/honesty-think-535010/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Right now](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/right-now/) [Safety Honest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/safety-honest-535011/) [Strong enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strong-enough/) [Think Honesty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/think-honesty-302240/) ## Related quotes > [“Emotional honesty, not perfection, is what children truly need from their parents. 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Prayer is the best.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/if-you-have-a-bad-day-pray-if-you-have-a-good-day-pray-pray-for-the/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) [Browse all 1,054 Bad day quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-day/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I think honesty and love help to create the safety that children need to just be children. If we want them to “fix” us, to cure us, to make us better, then we are not being honest with ourselves; we know that children can’t heal us or heal our relationships with others. That is beyond their capabilities, and it is certainly not their responsibility. On the other hand, we are not being honest or loving if we hide our fears and ask them to pretend that world is different from what they see. The child of an alcoholic father, for instance, can see that the father’s drinking is out of control. If the mother says, “Your father doesn’t have a problem. He’s just had a bad day at the office,” then the child feels terribly unsafe. But picture a mother who could say, “Your father has an illness called alcoholism, and it’s out of control right now. I can understand that it’s frightening to you, and sometimes it’s frightening to me. I’m doing the best I can - we’re all doing the best we can to make it better for all of us.” Just hearing that, the child feels safer in an unsafe environment. And that’s my point about honesty. I think we owe honesty to our children, because when we try to force safety on them without being honest, it begins to feel unsafe. When we try to hide our fears, our depressions, or our vulnerability, our children pick them up and try to take care of us. I think we owe it to our children to be strong enough to show our weakness. If we can show that we have the kind of strength it takes to talk about our weakness and our fears, then they’ll feel safe in that strength. 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