--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What typically escalates to conflict…" description: "\"“What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts it, with “not communicating, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions, sending a ‘har..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg" --- # What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts… ![“What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts it, with “not communicating, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions, sending a ‘hard’ message in ways that make it tough for people to hear what you’re saying.” Students” quote by Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg) > ““What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts it, with “not communicating, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions, sending a ‘hard’ message in ways that make it tough for people to hear what you’re saying.” Students”” [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Conflicts start when we fail to communicate, make assumptions, and jump to conclusions, delivering harsh messages that are hard to hear. **In simple terms:** Miscommunication fuels conflict. Key Takeaway Communicate clearly, avoid assumptions. Themes communication conflict assumptions Mood practical analytical Type business self‑help When to use this quote - team meetings - customer service - family discussions Key Concepts emotional intelligence psychology Questions to Reflect On - How can you ensure messages are heard kindly? - What steps prevent assumptions? A Different Perspective People may resist honest dialogue. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Begins Vargo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/begins-vargo-3197874/) [Conflict Begins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conflict-begins-3197872/) [Escalates Conflict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/escalates-conflict-3197870/) [Hard Message](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-message-3197871/) [Jumping to conclusions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jumping-to-conclusions/) [Making Assumptions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/making-assumptions/) [Typically Escalates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/typically-escalates-3197873/) [War](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/war/) ## Related quotes > [“Sometimes, teachers must be hard. People must be given a hard message because life is hard, and dying is hard,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nietzsche/sometimes-teachers-must-be-hard-people-must-be-given-a-hard-message/) [Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nietzsche/) > [ Worked hard on \[our message of strengthening the middle class, working people\], but it didn't come through in places like Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania.It really… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-ellison/worked-hard-on-our-message-of-strengthening-the-middle-class-working/) [Keith Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-ellison/) > [You see, a conflict always begins with an issue - a difference of opinion, an argument. But by the time it turns into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/you-see-a-conflict-always-begins-with-an-issue-a-difference-of/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [Conflict begins at the moment of birth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-baker-miller/conflict-begins-at-the-moment-of-birth/) [Jean Baker Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-baker-miller/) > [Most of the time your friends and family members have your best interest at heart. Sometimes we just fail to see this and that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sumesh-nair/most-of-the-time-your-friends-and-family-members-have-your-best/) [Sumesh Nair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sumesh-nair/) > [A conflict begins and ends in the hearts and minds of people, not in the hilltops.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amos-oz/a-conflict-begins-and-ends-in-the-hearts-and-minds-of-people-not-in/) [Amos Oz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amos-oz/) > [“I'm being careful with here," Harlow told me, apparently irritated by something I hadn't even had the time to say yet. She was making…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-joy-fowler/i-m-being-careful-with-here-harlow-told-me-apparently-irritated-by/) [Karen Joy Fowler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-joy-fowler/) > [“Based on this data, Trichopoulou published a landmark article in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) in 2003, in which she concluded that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nina-teicholz/based-on-this-data-trichopoulou-published-a-landmark-article-in-the/) [Nina Teicholz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nina-teicholz/) > [All of the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in the making of assumptions and taking things personally. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-angel-ruiz/all-of-the-sadness-and-drama-you-have-lived-in-your-life-was-rooted/) [Miguel Angel Ruiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-angel-ruiz/) > [“You asked how I'd define prejudice. That's it. Making assumptions about people you've never met.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-horwitz/you-asked-how-i-d-define-prejudice-that-s-it-making-assumptions-about/) [Tony Horwitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-horwitz/) > [“People who always have problems in life and give other people problems. Are people who jump into conclusion and who are always making assumptions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/de-philosopher-dj-kyos/people-who-always-have-problems-in-life-and-give-other-people/) [De philosopher DJ Kyos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/de-philosopher-dj-kyos/) > [Making assumptions taught me a lot as a producer, because it's something I never do now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenny-beats/making-assumptions-taught-me-a-lot-as-a-producer-because-it-s/) [Kenny Beats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenny-beats/) > [“Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-ruiz/making-assumptions-in-our-relationships-is-really-asking-for-problems/) [Miguel Ruiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-ruiz/) > [“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-ruiz/the-problem-with-making-assumptions-is-that-we-believe-they-are-the/) [Miguel Ruiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-ruiz/) > [Life becomes much easier when you stop jumping to conclusions and stop making assumptions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-becomes-much-easier-when-you-stop-jumping-to-conclusions-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Daniel Goleman > [The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called 'The Human Moment,' about how to make real contact with a person at work: ...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/the-harvard-business-review-recently-had-an-article-called-the-human/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [When the darkness is seen as a necessary prelude to the creative light, one is less likely to ascribe frustration to personal inadequacy or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/when-the-darkness-is-seen-as-a-necessary-prelude-to-the-creative/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [All the classical meditation traditions, in one way or another, stress nonattachment to the self as a goal of practice. Oddly, this dimension is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/all-the-classical-meditation-traditions-in-one-way-or-another-stress/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and "proofs" all their own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/feelings-are-self-justifying-with-a-set-of-perceptions-and-proofs-all/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Overloading attention shrinks mental control. Life immersed in digital distractions creates a near constant cognitive overload. And that overload wears out self-control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/overloading-attention-shrinks-mental-control-life-immersed-in-digital/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [What seems to set apart those at the very top of competitive pursuits from others of roughly equal ability is the degree to which,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-seems-to-set-apart-those-at-the-very-top-of-competitive-pursuits/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [“What distinguishes leaders in medicine goes far beyond that knowledge, into interpersonal skills like empathy, conflict resolution, and people development.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-distinguishes-leaders-in-medicine-goes-far-beyond-that-knowledge/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [“Richard Davidson, a University of Wisconsin psychologist. He discovered that people who have greater activity in the left frontal lobe, compared to the right,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/richard-davidson-a-university-of-wisconsin-psychologist-he-discovered/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Emotional 'literacy' implies an expanded responsibility for schools in helping to socialize children. This daunting task requires two major changes: that teachers go beyond…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/emotional-literacy-implies-an-expanded-responsibility-for-schools-in/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [The social brain is in its natural habitat when we're talking with someone face-to-face in real time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/the-social-brain-is-in-its-natural-habitat-when-we-re-talking-with/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [The ability to handle stress increases with the practice of meditation. In a culture like ours in which inner, spiritual growth is totally neglected…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/the-ability-to-handle-stress-increases-with-the-practice-of/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Research shows that for jobs of all kinds, emotional intelligence is twice as important an ingredient of outstanding performance as cognitive ability and technical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/research-shows-that-for-jobs-of-all-kinds-emotional-intelligence-is/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/the-emotional-brain-responds-to-an-event-more-quickly-than-the/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Positive work environments outperform negative work environments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/positive-work-environments-outperform-negative-work-environments/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [Who does not recall school at least in part as endless dreary hours of boredom punctuated by moments of high anxiety?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/who-does-not-recall-school-at-least-in-part-as-endless-dreary-hours/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) [Explore all 200 Daniel Goleman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) ## More Jumping to conclusions quotes > [Life becomes much easier when you stop jumping to conclusions and stop making assumptions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-becomes-much-easier-when-you-stop-jumping-to-conclusions-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“In fact, there is no such thing as character, something fixed and final. The real thing is something that novelists don’t know how to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soseki-natsume/in-fact-there-is-no-such-thing-as-character-something-fixed-and-final/) [Soseki Natsume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soseki-natsume/) > [To stop jumping to conclusions is like any life skill. It takes practice. And practice makes perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-stop-jumping-to-conclusions-is-like-any-life-skill-it-takes/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I not only think but also look and study things carefully. When I travel around, I look at things carefully, make comparisons of what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahathir-mohamad/i-not-only-think-but-also-look-and-study-things-carefully-when-i/) [Mahathir Mohamad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahathir-mohamad/) > [It often happens that things are other than what they seem, and you can get yourself into trouble by jumping to conclusions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-auster/it-often-happens-that-things-are-other-than-what-they-seem-and-you/) [Paul Auster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-auster/) > [“Although 'jumping to conclusions' is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lemony-snicket/although-jumping-to-conclusions-is-an-expression-rather-than-an/) [Lemony Snicket](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lemony-snicket/) > [Geometry is beautifully logical, and it teaches you how to think and prove that things are so, step by step by step. Proofs are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-vos-savant/geometry-is-beautifully-logical-and-it-teaches-you-how-to-think-and/) [Marilyn vos Savant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-vos-savant/) > [“the brain is a machine for jumping to conclusions”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-kahneman/the-brain-is-a-machine-for-jumping-to-conclusions/) [Daniel Kahneman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-kahneman/) > [Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-benzine/based-on-this-one-experience-i-had-jumping-to-conclusions-is-always/) [Craig Benzine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-benzine/) > [Ill admit, I have a terrible habit of assuming, jumping to conclusions as well as the worst case scenario.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ill-admit-i-have-a-terrible-habit-of-assuming-jumping-to-conclusions/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Exercise is not: Jumping to conclusions, running off at the mouth, stretching the truth, bending over backwards or side stepping responsibility.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/exercise-is-not-jumping-to-conclusions-running-off-at-the-mouth/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Stop jumping to conclusions, that's not what happened.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/stop-jumping-to-conclusions-that-s-not-what-happened/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“We pay more attention to the content of messages than to information about their reliabillity, and as a result end up with a view…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-kahneman/we-pay-more-attention-to-the-content-of-messages-than-to-information/) [Daniel Kahneman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-kahneman/) > [“ All-or-nothing thinking is when you see things as only black or white and either-or. For example, if you make a mistake while giving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-moehn/all-or-nothing-thinking-is-when-you-see-things-as-only-black-or-white/) [Heather Moehn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-moehn/) > [Ways of Life : Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/ways-of-life-jumping-to-conclusions-can-be-bad-exercise/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) [Browse all 57 Jumping to conclusions quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jumping-to-conclusions/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts it, with “not communicating, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions, sending a ‘hard’ message in ways that make it tough for people to hear what you’re saying.” Students”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Daniel Goleman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-begins-as-vargo-puts-it-with-not/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Jumping to conclusions" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-begins-as-vargo-puts-it-with-not/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/daniel-goleman-1599_jumping-to-conclusio_what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-beg_2764908.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What typically escalates to conflict begins, as Vargo puts it, with “not communicating, making assumptions…” — Daniel Goleman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Daniel Goleman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“What typically escalates to conflict begins,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-begins-as-vargo-puts-it-with-not/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/what-typically-escalates-to-conflict-begins-as-vargo-puts-it-with-not/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```