--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Straight couples don't have to be…" description: "\"Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg" --- # Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married… ![“Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn't compulsory and its absence doesn't invalidate a marriage.” quote by Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg) > “Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn't compulsory and its absence doesn't invalidate a marriage.” [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Marriage can exist without monogamy, and monogamy alone does not define marriage; both concepts are independent of each other. **In simple terms:** Marriage ≠ monogamy. Key Takeaway Separate relationship structures from sexual expectations. Themes relationships sexuality marriage Mood thoughtful challenging Type sociological philosophical When to use this quote - dating - legal marriage - cohabitation - relationship counseling Key Concepts Polyamory social contracts personal freedom Questions to Reflect On - How would you define your own relationship? - What legal changes could support diverse unions? A Different Perspective Cultural norms often pressure monogamy; legal systems may not recognize alternatives. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Absence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) [Being married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-married/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Couple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/couple/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Monogamy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monogamy/) ## Related quotes > [I'm going to get controversial here and say that monogamy isn't natural, especially not for men. It's a concept society birthed a few hundred…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jameela-jamil/i-m-going-to-get-controversial-here-and-say-that-monogamy-isn-t/) [Jameela Jamil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jameela-jamil/) > [Of course everyone should have the right to get married. But I think people need to remember sometimes that we don't all need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-haigh/of-course-everyone-should-have-the-right-to-get-married-but-i-think/) [Andrew Haigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-haigh/) > [I'm married, I'm monogamous, but I'm not dead, and Bill isn't either.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chirlane-mccray/i-m-married-i-m-monogamous-but-i-m-not-dead-and-bill-isn-t-either/) [Chirlane McCray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chirlane-mccray/) > [Because orgasmic sex would lead to women's autonomy, knowing who you are and what we want: Women are not going to follow what some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-dodson/because-orgasmic-sex-would-lead-to-women-s-autonomy-knowing-who-you/) [Betty Dodson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-dodson/) > [This is the way I look at sex scenes: I have basically been doing them for a living for years. Trying to seduce an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bon-jovi/this-is-the-way-i-look-at-sex-scenes-i-have-basically-been-doing-them-2/) [Jon Bon Jovi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bon-jovi/) > [ Praise becomes compulsory when we experience true intimacy \[with God\]. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/praise-becomes-compulsory-when-we-experience-true-intimacy-with-god/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [The chief attraction of military service has consisted and will consist in this compulsory and irreproachable idleness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/the-chief-attraction-of-military-service-has-consisted-and-will/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [Citizens ... should be practitioners of civic virtue in their conduct toward government. They should be ever willing to fulfill the duties of citizenship.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dallin-h-oaks/citizens-should-be-practitioners-of-civic-virtue-in-their-conduct/) [Dallin H. Oaks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dallin-h-oaks/) > [Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/those-who-begin-coercive-elimination-of-dissent-soon-find-themselves/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Also in the new constitution, we want to lower the voting age from 20 years to 18 years and also gradually implement a voluntary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chen-shui-bian/also-in-the-new-constitution-we-want-to-lower-the-voting-age-from-20/) [Chen Shui-bian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chen-shui-bian/) > [I have very real concerns about the civil liberties implications of ultimately requiring every resident to submit themselves for compulsory fingerprinting or some other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-hewitt/i-have-very-real-concerns-about-the-civil-liberties-implications-of/) [Patricia Hewitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-hewitt/) > [I studied with a blind teacher from about 5 until I was 16, at two different schools. From the age of 12 until 16,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-shearing/i-studied-with-a-blind-teacher-from-about-5-until-i-was-16-at-two/) [George Shearing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-shearing/) > [East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/east-germany-was-so-total-in-its-totalitarianism-that-everything-was/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Education: free and compulsory - what a way to learn logic!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-van-dun/education-free-and-compulsory-what-a-way-to-learn-logic/) [Frank Van Dun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-van-dun/) > [I never did drama at school. I did it for one term, when it was compulsory, and I hated it. Tennis was the main…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-mitchell/i-never-did-drama-at-school-i-did-it-for-one-term-when-it-was/) [Luke Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-mitchell/) ## More by Dan Savage > [Preaching to the choir actually arms the choir with arguments and elevates the choir's discourse. There's a reason the right does it and does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/preaching-to-the-choir-actually-arms-the-choir-with-arguments-and/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [Bisexuals need to recognize that their being closeted is a huge contributing factor to the hostility they face.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/bisexuals-need-to-recognize-that-their-being-closeted-is-a-huge/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [Really, when it comes to gay rights, there's two wars going on. The first war is political. But the culture war is over.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/really-when-it-comes-to-gay-rights-there-s-two-wars-going-on-the/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is an empty exercise, but are ironically pretty exercised when their boyfriends neglect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-get-letters-every-year-from-women-who-think-valentine-s-day-is-an/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I'm allergic to dogs, so I couldn't even adopt what gay men typically adopt when they have that maternal gene.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-m-allergic-to-dogs-so-i-couldn-t-even-adopt-what-gay-men-typically/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [And that really captures the difference for the bullied straight kid versus the bullied gay kid, is that the bullied straight kid goes home…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/and-that-really-captures-the-difference-for-the-bullied-straight-kid/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I'm one of those gay people who's constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to live now and not to be Ennis and Jack…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-m-one-of-those-gay-people-who-s-constantly-reminded-of-how/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I think the best thing for you to do is just live your life. Live a life that's worth living, one where you do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-think-the-best-thing-for-you-to-do-is-just-live-your-life-live-a/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [the Bible is only as good and decent as the person reading it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/the-bible-is-only-as-good-and-decent-as-the-person-reading-it/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [There's a big mistake the left has made with talking to religious people, which is attempting to talk them out of their interpretations of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/there-s-a-big-mistake-the-left-has-made-with-talking-to-religious/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [The mistake that straight people made was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/the-mistake-that-straight-people-made-was-imposing-the-monogamous/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I got picked on a lot, even by teachers too. I liked to listen to musicals and bake, and my homeroom teacher found out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-got-picked-on-a-lot-even-by-teachers-too-i-liked-to-listen-to/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [“Either way... you've got to tell him--in no uncertain terms--to knock it the fuck off already. Don't be measured, don't wrap it up in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/either-way-you-ve-got-to-tell-him-in-no-uncertain-terms-to-knock-it/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [I wanted to be a priest when I was a kid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/i-wanted-to-be-a-priest-when-i-was-a-kid/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [When you're young and queer and closeted, you can end up in this place where you regard your straight peers as the enemy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/when-you-re-young-and-queer-and-closeted-you-can-end-up-in-this-place/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) [Explore all 147 Dan Savage quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) ## More Absence quotes > [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/) [James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/) > [The work, the work, the work. This is what the business is all about. This is the fun, the glory, the pleasure. It's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-dusenberry/the-work-the-work-the-work-this-is-what-the-business-is-all-about/) [Phil Dusenberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-dusenberry/) > [Total depravity means the entire absence of holiness, not the highest intensity of sin. A totally depraved man is not as bad as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/total-depravity-means-the-entire-absence-of-holiness-not-the-highest/) [William Greenough Thayer Shedd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/) > [Local and state governments have outrun the federal government. The EPA has served notice that it will enact a rule requiring CO2 reductions by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-gore/local-and-state-governments-have-outrun-the-federal-government-the/) [Al Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-gore/) > [There, in the center of that silence was not eternity but the death of time and a loneliness so profound the word itself had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/there-in-the-center-of-that-silence-was-not-eternity-but-the-death-of/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [Of all the bewildering things about a new country, the absence of human landmarks is one of the most depressing and disheartening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willa-cather/of-all-the-bewildering-things-about-a-new-country-the-absence-of/) [Willa Cather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willa-cather/) > [Young men have strong passions and tend to gratify them indiscriminately. Of the bodily desires, it is the sexual by which they are most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/young-men-have-strong-passions-and-tend-to-gratify-them/) [Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/) > [It is suggested that in domestic violence at least the presence or absence of a firearm, or of any other type of weapon, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-greenwood/it-is-suggested-that-in-domestic-violence-at-least-the-presence-or/) [Colin Greenwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-greenwood/) > [The absence of God in most spheres of life is perceived to be normal, and even Christians feel it as normal - which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/the-absence-of-god-in-most-spheres-of-life-is-perceived-to-be-normal/) [John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/) > [Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/every-person-needs-to-take-one-day-away-a-day-in-which-one/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [“I was thinking how most people don't make you feel much of anything at all. Don't make you feel like time spent with them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-lotter/i-was-thinking-how-most-people-don-t-make-you-feel-much-of-anything/) [Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-lotter/) > [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Many are observing Ferguson and witnessing the anger, demonstrations, looting and vandalism and calling for quiet. But quiet isn't enough. The absence of noise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-jackson/many-are-observing-ferguson-and-witnessing-the-anger-demonstrations/) [Jesse Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-jackson/) > [Will capitalist economies operate at full employment in the absence of routine intervention? Certainly not. Are deviations from full employment a social problem? Obviously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-yellen/will-capitalist-economies-operate-at-full-employment-in-the-absence/) [Janet Yellen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-yellen/) > [We must begin by acknowledging that there is a complete absence of two things in Indian Society. One of these is equality. On the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-r-ambedkar/we-must-begin-by-acknowledging-that-there-is-a-complete-absence-of/) [B. R. Ambedkar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-r-ambedkar/) [Browse all 2,057 Absence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn't compulsory and its absence doesn't invalidate a marriage.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan Savage" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monogamous-to-be-married-or-married/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Absence" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monogamous-to-be-married-or-married/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/dan-savage-2880_absence_straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monoga_719430.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more…” — Dan Savage", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Dan Savage", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Straight couples don't have to be...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monogamous-to-be-married-or-married/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/straight-couples-don-t-have-to-be-monogamous-to-be-married-or-married/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```