--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The pretentious flaws of others affirm…" description: "\"“The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own intellectual or aesthetic expertise. Simultaneously, their fakery highlights the contours of your down..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg" --- # The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own… ![“The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own intellectual or aesthetic expertise. Simultaneously, their fakery highlights the contours of your down-to-earth character and virtuous ordinariness. It is your plain speaking that makes you trustworthy. That person’s pretentious use of words hides…” quote by Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg) > ““The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own intellectual or aesthetic expertise. Simultaneously, their fakery highlights the contours of your down-to-earth character and virtuous ordinariness. It is your plain speaking that makes you trustworthy. That person’s pretentious use of words hides the fact that they do not have anything of substance to say. Like the unnamed narrator of Thomas Bernhard’s novel Woodcutters, watching guests arrive at a dinner party and savaging each of them for their artistic and personal failings, only you see the truth of the world—everyone else is putting it on.”” [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Critiquing pretentiousness reveals authentic character; plain speech builds trust while others hide emptiness. **In simple terms:** Pretentiousness shows lack of substance; honesty builds credibility. Key Takeaway Value humility over showiness. Themes authenticity communication humility critique self‑awareness Mood reflective thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - workplace meetings - social gatherings - online discourse - personal branding Key Concepts psychology social dynamics literary criticism Questions to Reflect On - How do you discern genuine expertise from show? - What role does humility play in your relationships? A Different Perspective Not all pretentious behavior is intentional; some may stem from insecurity. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Character Virtuous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character-virtuous-6123001/) [Dinner party](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dinner-party/) [Person Pretentious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-pretentious-6122999/) [Pretentious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pretentious/) [Pretentious Flaws](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pretentious-flaws-6123000/) [Pretentious Use](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pretentious-use-4511093/) ## Related quotes > [...if use is not an appropriate criterion for decision making in the academic life, what is? Love. ...The virtues of love as a criterion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leroy-s-rouner/if-use-is-not-an-appropriate-criterion-for-decision-making-in-the/) [Leroy S Rouner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leroy-s-rouner/) > [“Being pretentious is rarely harmful to anyone. Accusing others of it is. You can use the word “pretentious” as a weapon with which to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/being-pretentious-is-rarely-harmful-to-anyone-accusing-others-of-it/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“The intellectually insecure drop the word “pretentious” to shut down a conversation they don’t understand, when simply saying “I don’t know” or asking “Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-intellectually-insecure-drop-the-word-pretentious-to-shut-down-a/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Claims to ordinariness and salt-of-the-earth virtue—“slumming it,” as it’s crudely called—are themselves pretentious. The assumption that dropping your aitches or asserting a love of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/claims-to-ordinariness-and-salt-of-the-earth-virtue-slumming-it-as-it/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [Often you see a famous actor who says they produced something, when all they did was claim to have an idea at a dinner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethan-hawke/often-you-see-a-famous-actor-who-says-they-produced-something-when/) [Ethan Hawke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethan-hawke/) > [It is very vulgar to talk about one's own business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then only at dinner parties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/it-is-very-vulgar-to-talk-about-one-s-own-business-only-people-like/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [New York is like a big dinner party. You have to be very careful about what you say and do because you never know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-moore/new-york-is-like-a-big-dinner-party-you-have-to-be-very-careful-about/) [Susanna Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-moore/) > [Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-clarkson/telling-people-at-a-dinner-party-you-drive-a-nissan-almera-is-like/) [Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-clarkson/) > [Try this. At a dinner party sometime, kick off the conversation with: "I believe that the most important objective for every human being is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-white/try-this-at-a-dinner-party-sometime-kick-off-the-conversation-with-i/) [Robert White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-white/) > [If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-seuss/if-i-were-invited-to-a-dinner-party-with-my-characters-i-wouldn-t/) [Dr. Seuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-seuss/) > [I love to cook. I'd have a dinner party, and someone would be like, 'Can you do this at my house?' So my catering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meta-golding/i-love-to-cook-i-d-have-a-dinner-party-and-someone-would-be-like-can/) [Meta Golding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meta-golding/) > [A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mao-zedong/a-revolution-is-not-a-dinner-party-or-writing-an-essay-or-painting-a/) [Mao Zedong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mao-zedong/) > [“I am very, very sorry to leave you hanging like that, but as I was writing the tale of the Baudelaire orphans, I happened…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lemony-snicket/i-am-very-very-sorry-to-leave-you-hanging-like-that-but-as-i-was/) [Lemony Snicket](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lemony-snicket/) > [“As we prepared for sleep that night I noticed that Lisa was staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked as young now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-n-drake/as-we-prepared-for-sleep-that-night-i-noticed-that-lisa-was-staring/) [S.N. Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-n-drake/) > [My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-galifianakis/my-girlfriend-and-i-went-to-a-dinner-party-the-other-night-and-we/) [Zach Galifianakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-galifianakis/) ## More by Dan Fox > [There's a sense of knowing when to stop and take a break from things, to step back from the work you're making, and of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/there-s-a-sense-of-knowing-when-to-stop-and-take-a-break-from-things/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Try describing a few of the most wildly successful pop albums of the twentieth century without mentioning the artist and title. A concept rock…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/try-describing-a-few-of-the-most-wildly-successful-pop-albums-of-the/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Why can’t a musician try to make a cinematic “state of the nation” poem told through dream imagery and pop music? They may fail…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/why-can-t-a-musician-try-to-make-a-cinematic-state-of-the-nation-poem/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Claims to ordinariness and salt-of-the-earth virtue—“slumming it,” as it’s crudely called—are themselves pretentious. The assumption that dropping your aitches or asserting a love of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/claims-to-ordinariness-and-salt-of-the-earth-virtue-slumming-it-as-it/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“The intellectually insecure drop the word “pretentious” to shut down a conversation they don’t understand, when simply saying “I don’t know” or asking “Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-intellectually-insecure-drop-the-word-pretentious-to-shut-down-a/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“The accuser of pretension always presumes bad intentions. Truth is, more often than not pretension is simply someone trying to make the world more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-accuser-of-pretension-always-presumes-bad-intentions-truth-is/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Pretentiousness shares with sophistication a lingering sense of “unnaturalness”; something faked, pretending, tampered with. Litvak presses the idea that sophistication is linked to perversion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/pretentiousness-shares-with-sophistication-a-lingering-sense-of/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Pretension is a question of optics. The pessimist sees pretension as a sham. The optimist views it as innocent, tragicomic, an excess of effort.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/pretension-is-a-question-of-optics-the-pessimist-sees-pretension-as-a/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [I think that one way of diffusing an insult is to turn it around and laugh at yourself - that's a way of coping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/i-think-that-one-way-of-diffusing-an-insult-is-to-turn-it-around-and/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [The contortions and games of identity that politicians play on themselves almost everyday is kind of extraordinary. Trump, for instance, speaks like a five-year-old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-contortions-and-games-of-identity-that-politicians-play-on/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Not every artist can make a masterpiece, yet it’s the experiments that quietly stumble forward that lead to them. There’s an altogether more generous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/not-every-artist-can-make-a-masterpiece-yet-it-s-the-experiments-that/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“The fable of the Emperor’s New Clothes is brought up time and again, a conspiracy to dupe someone, a pretense designed to make the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-fable-of-the-emperor-s-new-clothes-is-brought-up-time-and-again-a/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [In Britain, class is a neurosis. You judge people from the moment they open their mouth and start speaking: what their accent represents in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/in-britain-class-is-a-neurosis-you-judge-people-from-the-moment-they/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Comfort with an art form that uses language comes because we all own it, to one degree or another. Words come from flesh and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/comfort-with-an-art-form-that-uses-language-comes-because-we-all-own/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) > [“Being pretentious is rarely harmful to anyone. Accusing others of it is. You can use the word “pretentious” as a weapon with which to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/being-pretentious-is-rarely-harmful-to-anyone-accusing-others-of-it/) [Dan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) [Explore all 19 Dan Fox quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/) ## More Dinner party quotes > [My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-galifianakis/my-girlfriend-and-i-went-to-a-dinner-party-the-other-night-and-we/) [Zach Galifianakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-galifianakis/) > [“As we prepared for sleep that night I noticed that Lisa was staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked as young now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-n-drake/as-we-prepared-for-sleep-that-night-i-noticed-that-lisa-was-staring/) [S.N. Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-n-drake/) > [“I am very, very sorry to leave you hanging like that, but as I was writing the tale of the Baudelaire orphans, I happened…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lemony-snicket/i-am-very-very-sorry-to-leave-you-hanging-like-that-but-as-i-was/) [Lemony Snicket](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lemony-snicket/) > [A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mao-zedong/a-revolution-is-not-a-dinner-party-or-writing-an-essay-or-painting-a/) [Mao Zedong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mao-zedong/) > [I love to cook. I'd have a dinner party, and someone would be like, 'Can you do this at my house?' So my catering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meta-golding/i-love-to-cook-i-d-have-a-dinner-party-and-someone-would-be-like-can/) [Meta Golding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meta-golding/) > [If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-seuss/if-i-were-invited-to-a-dinner-party-with-my-characters-i-wouldn-t/) [Dr. Seuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-seuss/) > [Try this. At a dinner party sometime, kick off the conversation with: "I believe that the most important objective for every human being is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-white/try-this-at-a-dinner-party-sometime-kick-off-the-conversation-with-i/) [Robert White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-white/) > [Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-clarkson/telling-people-at-a-dinner-party-you-drive-a-nissan-almera-is-like/) [Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-clarkson/) > [New York is like a big dinner party. You have to be very careful about what you say and do because you never know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-moore/new-york-is-like-a-big-dinner-party-you-have-to-be-very-careful-about/) [Susanna Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-moore/) > [It is very vulgar to talk about one's own business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then only at dinner parties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/it-is-very-vulgar-to-talk-about-one-s-own-business-only-people-like/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Often you see a famous actor who says they produced something, when all they did was claim to have an idea at a dinner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethan-hawke/often-you-see-a-famous-actor-who-says-they-produced-something-when/) [Ethan Hawke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethan-hawke/) > [“I'd rather cut off my own balls with blunt bacon scissors than host a dinner party.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derren-brown/i-d-rather-cut-off-my-own-balls-with-blunt-bacon-scissors-than-host-a/) [Derren Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derren-brown/) > [When we're discussing who to invite to a dinner party, my wife Chaz and I sometimes use the shorthand, 'good value for money,' which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ebert/when-we-re-discussing-who-to-invite-to-a-dinner-party-my-wife-chaz/) [Roger Ebert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ebert/) > [“Tuesday, March 3 \[Meetings with economist Arthur Burns regarding China, and with President Ford on economy; message from Pope John Paul II expressing general…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/tuesday-march-3-meetings-with-economist-arthur-burns-regarding-china/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [I listen to a lot of podcasts, which are split down the middle between comedy and board game podcasts, and a couple of eclectic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rich-sommer/i-listen-to-a-lot-of-podcasts-which-are-split-down-the-middle-between/) [Rich Sommer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rich-sommer/) [Browse all 253 Dinner party quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dinner-party/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own intellectual or aesthetic expertise. Simultaneously, their fakery highlights the contours of your down-to-earth character and virtuous ordinariness. It is your plain speaking that makes you trustworthy. That person’s pretentious use of words hides the fact that they do not have anything of substance to say. Like the unnamed narrator of Thomas Bernhard’s novel Woodcutters, watching guests arrive at a dinner party and savaging each of them for their artistic and personal failings, only you see the truth of the world—everyone else is putting it on.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan Fox" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-your-own-intellectual-or/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Dinner party" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-your-own-intellectual-or/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/dan-fox-28111_dinner-party_the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-y_1607238.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The pretentious flaws of others affirm your own intellectual or aesthetic expertise. Simultaneously, their…” — Dan Fox", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Dan Fox", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-fox/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“The pretentious flaws of others affirm...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-your-own-intellectual-or/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-fox/the-pretentious-flaws-of-others-affirm-your-own-intellectual-or/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```