--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There is no pain equal to that which two…" description: "\"There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidanc..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99f/cyril-connolly-1829_avoidance_there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two_1632398.jpg" --- # There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can… ![“There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidance of this pain is the beginning of wisdom, for it is strong enough to contaminate the rest of our lives.” quote by Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99f/cyril-connolly-1829_avoidance_there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two_1632398.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99f/cyril-connolly-1829_avoidance_there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two_1632398.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99f/cyril-connolly-1829_avoidance_there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two_1632398.jpg) > “There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidance of this pain is the beginning of wisdom, for it is strong enough to contaminate the rest of our lives.” [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote warns that love can cause profound suffering, and recognizing this pain is essential for wisdom and preventing it from ruining life. **In simple terms:** Love can cause deep pain; recognizing it brings wisdom. Key Takeaway Acknowledge love’s risks to protect yourself. Themes love pain wisdom relationships Mood reflective cautious Type cautionary philosophical When to use this quote - romantic relationships - marriage counseling - personal growth - conflict resolution Key Concepts emotional harm psychology self‑preservation Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance love’s joy with its potential pain? - What safeguards can prevent love’s harm? A Different Perspective It may overstate love’s danger, ignoring its positive aspects. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovers/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Strong enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strong-enough/) [Two lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/two-lovers/) [Wisdom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wisdom/) ## Related quotes > [There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two-lovers-can-inflict-on-one/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another... It is when we begin to hurt those whom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/there-is-no-pain-equal-to-that-which-two-lovers-can-inflict-on-one-3/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [“At the end of human; life losses is equal to life gain life earned is equal to life learned and life pain is equal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/o-o-michael/at-the-end-of-human-life-losses-is-equal-to-life-gain-life-earned-is/) O.O Michael > [... it is highly unlikely that a structural derangement could produce pain equal in severity to acute muscle spasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-e-sarno/it-is-highly-unlikely-that-a-structural-derangement-could-produce/) [John E. Sarno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-e-sarno/) > [You bring joy and pain in equal measure. Joy because you are with me, but pain because it wont be for long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yann-martel/you-bring-joy-and-pain-in-equal-measure-joy-because-you-are-with-me/) [Yann Martel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yann-martel/) > [The two-fold goal of all human striving is the avoidance of pain, and the fulfillment of happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-two-fold-goal-of-all-human-striving-is-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life, she realized, so often became a determined, relentless avoidance of pain-of one's own, of other people's. But sometimes pain had to be acknowledged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/life-she-realized-so-often-became-a-determined-relentless-avoidance/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Most people are driven by fear or by avoidance of pain. Only a few are driven by the benefits.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-kohlrieser/most-people-are-driven-by-fear-or-by-avoidance-of-pain-only-a-few-are/) [George Kohlrieser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-kohlrieser/) > [“most days go nowhere but the avoidance of pain and dissolution are lovely.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/most-days-go-nowhere-but-the-avoidance-of-pain-and-dissolution-are/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [The avoidance of that which causes you pain does not produce enlightenment. It produces avoidance. Religion is the avoidance of pain and suffering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/the-avoidance-of-that-which-causes-you-pain-does-not-produce/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“Life so often becomes a determined, relentless avoidance of pain - of one's own, of other people's. But sometimes pain has to be acknowledged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/life-so-often-becomes-a-determined-relentless-avoidance-of-pain-of/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [Most human behavior is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/most-human-behavior-is-nothing-other-than-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [If one of two lovers is loyal, and the other jealous and false, how may their friendship last, for Love is slain!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-de-france/if-one-of-two-lovers-is-loyal-and-the-other-jealous-and-false-how-may/) [Marie de France](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-de-france/) > [“INTERVIEWER Why don’t you write tragedy? BARTHELME I’m fated to deal in mixtures, slumgullions, which preclude tragedy, which require a pure line. It’s a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-barthelme/interviewer-why-don-t-you-write-tragedy-barthelme-i-m-fated-to-deal/) [Donald Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-barthelme/) > [One can imagine the look the two lovers exchanged; it was like a flame, for virtuous lovers have not a shred of hypocrisy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/honor-de-balzac/one-can-imagine-the-look-the-two-lovers-exchanged-it-was-like-a-flame/) [Honore de Balzac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/honor-de-balzac/) ## More by Cyril Connolly > [Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice; journalism what will be read once.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/literature-is-the-art-of-writing-something-that-will-be-read-twice/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [There is no fury like a woman searching for a new lover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/there-is-no-fury-like-a-woman-searching-for-a-new-lover/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [Beautiful women must think about their beauty as capitalists think about their investments or politicians about their majorities; it is all they have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/beautiful-women-must-think-about-their-beauty-as-capitalists-think/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [We cannot be happy until we can love ourselves without egotism and our friends without tyranny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/we-cannot-be-happy-until-we-can-love-ourselves-without-egotism-and/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [What grape to keep its place in the sun, taught our ancestors to make wine?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/what-grape-to-keep-its-place-in-the-sun-taught-our-ancestors-to-make/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [“Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/literature-is-the-art-of-writing-something-that-will-be-read-twice-2/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [“Our memories are card-indexes consulted and then put back in disorder by authorities whom we do not control.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/our-memories-are-card-indexes-consulted-and-then-put-back-in-disorder/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [Were I to deduce any system from my feelings on leaving Eton, it might be called The Theory of Permanent Adolescence. It is the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/were-i-to-deduce-any-system-from-my-feelings-on-leaving-eton-it-might/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [Failure on the other hand is infectious. The world is full of charming failures (for all charming people have something to conceal, usually their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/failure-on-the-other-hand-is-infectious-the-world-is-full-of-charming/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [The civilization of one epoch becomes the manure of the next.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/the-civilization-of-one-epoch-becomes-the-manure-of-the-next/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [There is no more somber enemy of good art than the pram in the hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/there-is-no-more-somber-enemy-of-good-art-than-the-pram-in-the-hall/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [The true function of a writer is to produce a masterpiece and no other task is of any consequence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/the-true-function-of-a-writer-is-to-produce-a-masterpiece-and-no/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [“We pay for vice by the knowledge that we are wicked; we pay for pleasure when we find out too late that we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/we-pay-for-vice-by-the-knowledge-that-we-are-wicked-we-pay-for/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [The books I haven't written are better than the books other people have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/the-books-i-haven-t-written-are-better-than-the-books-other-people/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) > [If Montaigne is a man in the prime of life sitting in his study on a warm morning and putting down the sum of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-connolly/if-montaigne-is-a-man-in-the-prime-of-life-sitting-in-his-study-on-a/) [Cyril Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) [Explore all 204 Cyril Connolly quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-connolly/) ## More Avoidance quotes > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) John Whiting > [“Collect yourself: to smother what you feel, recall to order, summon in one place; making, like Orpheus, a system against loss.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-padel/collect-yourself-to-smother-what-you-feel-recall-to-order-summon-in/) [Ruth Padel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-padel/) > [All work is the avoidance of harder work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-richardson/all-work-is-the-avoidance-of-harder-work/) [James Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-richardson/) > [“People spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid the things that have already happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silvia-hartmann/people-spend-entire-lifetimes-trying-to-avoid-the-things-that-have/) [Silvia Hartmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/silvia-hartmann/) > [America is not static. America is striving. And sometimes, America requires critique. Jingoism is an avoidance of realism. You can simultaneously love and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-not-static-america-is-striving-and-sometimes-america/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I am not in favour of the takeover of excellent and strategically important British companies by struggling foreign firms whose actions are fuelled by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/i-am-not-in-favour-of-the-takeover-of-excellent-and-strategically/) [David Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury of Turville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/) > [Most human behavior is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/most-human-behavior-is-nothing-other-than-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [You can gain power by avoidance. You can gain power by doing certain things. You can gain much more power by meditating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-can-gain-power-by-avoidance-you-can-gain-power-by-doing-certain/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“If you love stress, practice avoidance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-rowe/if-you-love-stress-practice-avoidance/) Sharon Rowe > [I've been trying to avoid my problems, and I don't know what to do. I get high, but when I come down, my problems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-nathaniel-butler/i-ve-been-trying-to-avoid-my-problems-and-i-don-t-know-what-to-do-i/) [Eugene Nathaniel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-nathaniel-butler/) > [All the textbooks talk about avoidance as a classic hallmark of anxiety disorder. So you need a therapist who is sympathetic and understanding but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stossel/all-the-textbooks-talk-about-avoidance-as-a-classic-hallmark-of/) [Scott Stossel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stossel/) > [I read recently in an article by G.K. Chesterton, that sex without gestation and parturition is like blowing the trumpets and waving the flags…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dora-russell/i-read-recently-in-an-article-by-g-k-chesterton-that-sex-without/) [Dora Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dora-russell/) > [Be truthful... and pay attention. I would also recommend the avoidance of credit cards.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/be-truthful-and-pay-attention-i-would-also-recommend-the-avoidance-of/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [“Most of us will do anything to avoid facing ourselves”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lolly-daskal/most-of-us-will-do-anything-to-avoid-facing-ourselves/) [Lolly Daskal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lolly-daskal/) > [The pleasant life is not produced by continual drinking and dancing, nor sexual intercourse, nor rare dishes of sea food and other delicacies of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epicurus/the-pleasant-life-is-not-produced-by-continual-drinking-and-dancing/) [Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/) Browse all 290 Avoidance quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. 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