--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I was in junior high, I used to…" description: "\"“When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date m..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adolescence_when-i-was-in-junior-high-i-used-to-thin_1569852.png" --- # When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn… ![“When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date me. I thought I wasn't pretty enough. But then I got to Ault and first of all, I'm not really friends with any guys. And then, with you this year, I…” quote by Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adolescence_when-i-was-in-junior-high-i-used-to-thin_1569852.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adolescence_when-i-was-in-junior-high-i-used-to-thin_1569852.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adolescence_when-i-was-in-junior-high-i-used-to-thin_1569852.png) > ““When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date me. I thought I wasn't pretty enough. But then I got to Ault and first of all, I'm not really friends with any guys. And then, with you this year, I thought, if Cross will keep hooking up with me, maybe I'm okay after all. But time passed and I never became your girlfriend. And so then I thought, not only was I wrong, but my life turned out to be the opposite of what I expected. Meaning, it wasn't my appearance--that's not the bad thing about me. It's my personality. But how do I know which part? I have no idea. I've tried to think about if it's one thing in isolation or everything together, or what can I do to fix it, or how can I convince you. Then I thought, maybe it is my looks, maybe I was right before. And I never figured it out. Obviously, I didn't. But I've spent a lot of time this year trying. And the reason I'm telling you all this is that I want you to know no one in my life has ever made me feel worse about myself than you.”” [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑esteem struggles stem from external validation and internal self‑image, leading to confusion about personal value. **In simple terms:** Self‑worth is tangled with how others see you. Key Takeaway Seek internal validation, not just external. Themes identity self‑esteem validation Mood vulnerable thoughtful Type personal reflective When to use this quote - dating - career decisions - friendships Key Concepts self‑concept social comparison Questions to Reflect On - What qualities define you beyond others’ opinions? - How can you cultivate self‑acceptance? A Different Perspective External approval can be unreliable and harmful. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adolescence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adolescence/) [Bad thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-thing/) [Date Thought](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/date-thought-1042773/) [Girlfriend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girlfriend/) [Girlfriend Thought](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girlfriend-thought-1192338/) [Junior high](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/junior-high/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Looks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Thought Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thought-cross-4380446/) [Time Pass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-pass/) [Unhappiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unhappiness/) [Wouldn Date](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wouldn-date-1665204/) [Yearning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yearning/) ## Related quotes > [“I think we would all agree that people should not be jailed for thoughts. 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I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-maynard/i-was-giving-a-speech-one-time-and-the-woman-who-introduced-me-said/) [Joyce Maynard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-maynard/) > [I wouldn't date an actress. There's only room for one actor in my life and I'm it. Too difficult. On the one hand, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-rhys-meyers/i-wouldn-t-date-an-actress-there-s-only-room-for-one-actor-in-my-life/) [Jonathan Rhys Meyers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-rhys-meyers/) > [“You look like shit. (Vane) Yeah, well, I wouldn’t date you either, asshole. (Fury)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/you-look-like-shit-vane-yeah-well-i-wouldn-t-date-you-either-asshole/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [“Look for reasons to say 'yes' instead of 'no,' he reminded me. Screen in rather than constantly screening out. Always ask yourself this: If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lori-gottlieb/look-for-reasons-to-say-yes-instead-of-no-he-reminded-me-screen-in/) [Lori Gottlieb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lori-gottlieb/) > [A bestfriend wouldn't date with her bestfriend's crush.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-bestfriend-wouldn-t-date-with-her-bestfriend-s-crush/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [According to my sister Jackie, most men stray. And sex doesn't mean anything to most men. But I wouldn't date a man who slept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-collins/according-to-my-sister-jackie-most-men-stray-and-sex-doesn-t-mean/) [Joan Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-collins/) > [I wouldn't date a girl with a bad attitude. I'm 'Mr. Positive.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-jonas/i-wouldn-t-date-a-girl-with-a-bad-attitude-i-m-mr-positive/) [Nick Jonas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-jonas/) > [“I just went on a date with a loopy new age witch who read my aura and took me to a play that critiqued…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chessela-helm/i-just-went-on-a-date-with-a-loopy-new-age-witch-who-read-my-aura-and/) [Chessela Helm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chessela-helm/) > [I don't date. The thought of that is so yuck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-locklear/i-don-t-date-the-thought-of-that-is-so-yuck/) [Heather Locklear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-locklear/) > [“You're my world. I want everyone to know. I don't know how to date so I never even thought of taking you on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abbi-glines/you-re-my-world-i-want-everyone-to-know-i-don-t-know-how-to-date-so-i/) [Abbi Glines](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abbi-glines/) > [“Layla, the first moment I laid eyes on you I knew I had to have you. I watched you walk across that street to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-coulson/layla-the-first-moment-i-laid-eyes-on-you-i-knew-i-had-to-have-you-i/) [Marie Coulson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-coulson/) > [“I was so different from other guys that there were not a lot of opportunities for me to date anyway. I thought I might…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-j-bedard/i-was-so-different-from-other-guys-that-there-were-not-a-lot-of/) [Stephen J. Bedard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-j-bedard/) ## More by Curtis Sittenfeld > [The best part of being a writer for me is immersing myself in a fictional world, which is the opposite of being on social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/the-best-part-of-being-a-writer-for-me-is-immersing-myself-in-a/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“I think adults forget just how much faith teenagers can have in them, just how willing to believe that adults, by virtue of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-think-adults-forget-just-how-much-faith-teenagers-can-have-in-them/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. Martha was at the library, and I was eating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-came-down-to-my-dorm-that-night-knocking-on-the-door-around-nine/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [My boarding school experience was the only thing I had strong enough feelings to write about for hundreds and hundreds of pages. I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/my-boarding-school-experience-was-the-only-thing-i-had-strong-enough/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [Of course a magazine is usually more interesting than a conversation, because so much more time and preparation has gone into it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/of-course-a-magazine-is-usually-more-interesting-than-a-conversation/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I feel that Pride and Prejudice is an incredibly well constructed novel on every level. The dialogue is great. The character development is great.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-feel-that-pride-and-prejudice-is-an-incredibly-well-constructed/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I should probably be careful admitting this, but sometimes, when my characters are having a disagreement, it's a disagreement I'm having with myself. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-should-probably-be-careful-admitting-this-but-sometimes-when-my/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Approaching each other, him from the gym, me from the library- this was when I walked down the aisle and he was waiting, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/approaching-each-other-him-from-the-gym-me-from-the-library-this-was/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/after-i-d-told-her-the-mall-the-taxi-cross-stroking-my-hair-she-said/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [There's an ongoing 'water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink' situation at my house in terms of both pens and paper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-s-an-ongoing-water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [She opened her mouth but did not immediately speak, and I felt, simultaneously, the impulse to coax the words from her and the impulse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-opened-her-mouth-but-did-not-immediately-speak-and-i-felt/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“But the truth was that I didn't want to stay in Riley. The pulls of familial love and obligation could not, for the moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-the-truth-was-that-i-didn-t-want-to-stay-in-riley-the-pulls-of/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Profii de aici le-au vazut pe toate. Noi ne percepem ca individualitati distincte, dar in ochii lor nu suntem decat o masa de nevoi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/profii-de-aici-le-au-vazut-pe-toate-noi-ne-percepem-ca/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [When I was writing my first two books I was also freelancing and teaching and doing other odd jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-was-writing-my-first-two-books-i-was-also-freelancing-and/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“When I think of Henry and Oliver and Mike, I feel as if they are three different models - templates, almost - and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-think-of-henry-and-oliver-and-mike-i-feel-as-if-they-are-three/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) [Explore all 212 Curtis Sittenfeld quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## More Adolescence quotes > [They must move from a psychological state of victimization to a psychological state of accepting responsibility. The Palestinians must leave behind their revolutionary adolescence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ari-shavit/they-must-move-from-a-psychological-state-of-victimization-to-a/) [Ari Shavit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ari-shavit/) > [Having children truly ends adolescence. We are all either parents or children: responsibility-takers or those who demand from others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-shapiro/having-children-truly-ends-adolescence-we-are-all-either-parents-or/) [Ben Shapiro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-shapiro/) > [Teenage girls are extremists who see the world in black-and- white terms, missing shades of gray. Life is either marvelous or notworth living. School…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-pipher/teenage-girls-are-extremists-who-see-the-world-in-black-and-white/) [Mary Pipher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-pipher/) > [Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-phillips/teenagers-complain-there-s-nothing-to-do-then-stay-out-all-night/) [Bob Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-phillips/) > [The idols of one's adolescence tend to endure - you never forget how you worshipped them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-ivins/the-idols-of-one-s-adolescence-tend-to-endure-you-never-forget-how/) [Molly Ivins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-ivins/) > [Being an adult is the ability to postpone a want for the sake of a family need.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-hogan/being-an-adult-is-the-ability-to-postpone-a-want-for-the-sake-of-a/) [Chris Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-hogan/) > [The donning of the ear buds marks the beginning of teen life, when children set off on their own for the passage through adolescence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amity-shlaes/the-donning-of-the-ear-buds-marks-the-beginning-of-teen-life-when/) [Amity Shlaes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amity-shlaes/) > [Adolescence is when the very worst and best impulses in the human soul struggle against each other for possession.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-stanley-hall/adolescence-is-when-the-very-worst-and-best-impulses-in-the-human/) [G. Stanley Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-stanley-hall/) > [Most adults would not dream of belittling, humiliating, or bullying (verbally or physically) another adult. But many of the same adults think nothing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-steinberg/most-adults-would-not-dream-of-belittling-humiliating-or-bullying/) [Laurence Steinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-steinberg/) > [If you can't count, they can cheat you. If you can't read, they can beat you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/if-you-can-t-count-they-can-cheat-you-if-you-can-t-read-they-can-beat/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [“He'd possessed all the key elements of a school shooter: hormones, misery, ammunition. People wondered how something like Columbine could happen. Jude wondered why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-hill/he-d-possessed-all-the-key-elements-of-a-school-shooter-hormones/) [Joe Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-hill/) > [ I remember realizing, when I did Little Women \[1994\], that that was the only time girls that age were being written about. It was… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winona-ryder/i-remember-realizing-when-i-did-little-women-1994-that-that-was-the/) [Winona Ryder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winona-ryder/) > [Content without style is propaganda or adolescence. Style without content is decadence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-mae-brown/content-without-style-is-propaganda-or-adolescence-style-without/) [Rita Mae Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-mae-brown/) > [Adolescence is interesting. I mean, all of life is interesting and all of life is transitionary. But I think there is an exponential growth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-henson/adolescence-is-interesting-i-mean-all-of-life-is-interesting-and-all/) [Bill Henson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-henson/) > [“Yet GenX'er teens didn't slow down--they were just as likely to drive, drink alcohol, and date as their Boomer peers and more likely to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-m-twenge/yet-genx-er-teens-didn-t-slow-down-they-were-just-as-likely-to-drive/) [Jean M. Twenge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-m-twenge/) [Browse all 787 Adolescence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adolescence/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date me. I thought I wasn't pretty enough. But then I got to Ault and first of all, I'm not really friends with any guys. And then, with you this year, I thought, if Cross will keep hooking up with me, maybe I'm okay after all. But time passed and I never became your girlfriend. And so then I thought, not only was I wrong, but my life turned out to be the opposite of what I expected. Meaning, it wasn't my appearance--that's not the bad thing about me. It's my personality. But how do I know which part? I have no idea. I've tried to think about if it's one thing in isolation or everything together, or what can I do to fix it, or how can I convince you. Then I thought, maybe it is my looks, maybe I was right before. And I never figured it out. Obviously, I didn't. But I've spent a lot of time this year trying. 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