--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There then occurred the first and only…" description: "\"“There then occurred the first and only paranormal incident of my marriage. Charlie shifted in his sleep, opened his eyes, looked at me and, without pr..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg" --- # There then occurred the first and only paranormal incident… ![“There then occurred the first and only paranormal incident of my marriage. Charlie shifted in his sleep, opened his eyes, looked at me and, without preamble, said, “You have to forgive yourself for killing that boy.” . . . “For your own sake but for mine, too,” he was saying, and his voice was…” quote by Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg) > ““There then occurred the first and only paranormal incident of my marriage. Charlie shifted in his sleep, opened his eyes, looked at me and, without preamble, said, “You have to forgive yourself for killing that boy.” . . . “For your own sake but for mine, too,” he was saying, and his voice was hoarse from sleep yet also certain and insistent. “If you don’t forgive yourself, you’re making that accident too important, you’re making him too important.” Charlie paused. “And I want to be the love of your life.”” [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A spouse confronts a haunting guilt, urging self‑forgiveness to prevent past trauma from dominating present love. **In simple terms:** Forgive yourself to move forward in love. Key Takeaway Release guilt, embrace love. Themes forgiveness love trauma self‑acceptance Mood reflective hopeful Type personal relationship When to use this quote - marriage counseling - personal grief - daily self‑reflection Key Concepts psychology emotional healing relationship dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How does guilt shape your relationships? - What steps help you forgive yourself? A Different Perspective Self‑forgiveness can be difficult without external support. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Forgive yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-yourself/) [Love Of Your Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-of-your-life/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ## Related quotes > [“Mrs. G: But marriage? I had mine. I had my Charlie. My one. Laurel: Do you believe that? That there's one person? One? Mrs.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-roberts/mrs-g-but-marriage-i-had-mine-i-had-my-charlie-my-one-laurel-do-you/) [Nora Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-roberts/) > [“Put in my place by these words, I jumped to my feet and bowed before the peasant. How could I, a minor element in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/put-in-my-place-by-these-words-i-jumped-to-my-feet-and-bowed-before/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“When he did not answer, his enemies took their revenge. 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It makes your heart bigger than your hate.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-gantos/granny-was-right-i-said-when-you-forgive-someone-it-does-make-you/) [Jack Gantos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-gantos/) > [At the time, I didn't know what forgiveness meant. I wouldn't really know what forgiveness meant for another year, until my pastor, Rick McKinley,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/at-the-time-i-didn-t-know-what-forgiveness-meant-i-wouldn-t-really/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [“What I've learned over the years is that people shouldn't be defined by a single mistake. Everyone messes up," she said. "You have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gena-showalter/what-i-ve-learned-over-the-years-is-that-people-shouldn-t-be-defined/) [Gena Showalter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gena-showalter/) > [Let those who think I have said too little and those who think I have said too much, forgive me; and let those who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saint-augustine/let-those-who-think-i-have-said-too-little-and-those-who-think-i-have/) [Saint Augustine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saint-augustine/) > [“Despereaux looked at his father, at his grey-streaked fur and trembling whiskers and his front paws clasped together in front of his heart, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-dicamillo/despereaux-looked-at-his-father-at-his-grey-streaked-fur-and/) [Kate DiCamillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-dicamillo/) > [Once our heart was broken, we often said how to forget you?... 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The devil made me do it, and the Lord said you have to forgive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wes-fesler/don-t-blame-me-the-devil-made-me-do-it-and-the-lord-said-you-have-to/) [Wes Fesler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wes-fesler/) ## More by Curtis Sittenfeld > [The best part of being a writer for me is immersing myself in a fictional world, which is the opposite of being on social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/the-best-part-of-being-a-writer-for-me-is-immersing-myself-in-a/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“I think adults forget just how much faith teenagers can have in them, just how willing to believe that adults, by virtue of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-think-adults-forget-just-how-much-faith-teenagers-can-have-in-them/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. 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The dialogue is great. The character development is great.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-feel-that-pride-and-prejudice-is-an-incredibly-well-constructed/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I should probably be careful admitting this, but sometimes, when my characters are having a disagreement, it's a disagreement I'm having with myself. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-should-probably-be-careful-admitting-this-but-sometimes-when-my/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Approaching each other, him from the gym, me from the library- this was when I walked down the aisle and he was waiting, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/approaching-each-other-him-from-the-gym-me-from-the-library-this-was/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/after-i-d-told-her-the-mall-the-taxi-cross-stroking-my-hair-she-said/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [There's an ongoing 'water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink' situation at my house in terms of both pens and paper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-s-an-ongoing-water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [She opened her mouth but did not immediately speak, and I felt, simultaneously, the impulse to coax the words from her and the impulse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-opened-her-mouth-but-did-not-immediately-speak-and-i-felt/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“But the truth was that I didn't want to stay in Riley. The pulls of familial love and obligation could not, for the moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-the-truth-was-that-i-didn-t-want-to-stay-in-riley-the-pulls-of/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Profii de aici le-au vazut pe toate. Noi ne percepem ca individualitati distincte, dar in ochii lor nu suntem decat o masa de nevoi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/profii-de-aici-le-au-vazut-pe-toate-noi-ne-percepem-ca/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [When I was writing my first two books I was also freelancing and teaching and doing other odd jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-was-writing-my-first-two-books-i-was-also-freelancing-and/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“When I think of Henry and Oliver and Mike, I feel as if they are three different models - templates, almost - and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-think-of-henry-and-oliver-and-mike-i-feel-as-if-they-are-three/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) [Explore all 212 Curtis Sittenfeld quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## More Alice quotes > [“How was she supposed to bear the prospect of never seeing him again? 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Charlie shifted in his sleep, opened his eyes, looked at me and, without preamble, said, “You have to forgive yourself for killing that boy.” . . . “For your own sake but for mine, too,” he was saying, and his voice was hoarse from sleep yet also certain and insistent. “If you don’t forgive yourself, you’re making that accident too important, you’re making him too important.” Charlie paused. “And I want to be the love of your life.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Curtis Sittenfeld" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-paranormal-incident-of-my/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Alice" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-paranormal-incident-of-my/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_alice_there-then-occurred-the-first-and-only-p_1474949.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There then occurred the first and only paranormal incident of my marriage. 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