--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But maybe this is what Hannah has always…" description: "\"“But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who will deny her. A man of her own who isn't hers. Isn't it the real reason she broke up with ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg" --- # But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who… ![“But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who will deny her. A man of her own who isn't hers. Isn't it the real reason she broke up with Mike--not because he moved to North Carolina for law school (he wanted her to go with him, and she said no) but because he adored her? If she asked…” quote by Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg) > ““But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who will deny her. A man of her own who isn't hers. Isn't it the real reason she broke up with Mike--not because he moved to North Carolina for law school (he wanted her to go with him, and she said no) but because he adored her? If she asked him to get out of bed and bring her a glass of water, he did. If she was in a bad mood, he tried to soothe her. It didn't bother him if she cried, or if she didn't wash her hair or shave her legs or have anything interesting to say. He forgave it all, he always thought she was beautiful, he always wanted to be around her. It became so boring! She'd been raised, after all, not to be accommodated but to accommodate, and if she was his world, then his world was small, he was easily satisfied. After a while, when he parted her lips with his tongue, she'd think, Thrash, thrash, here we go. She wanted to feel like she was striving cleanly forward, walking into a bracing wind and learning from her mistakes, and she felt instead like she was sitting in a deep, squishy sofa, eating Cheetos, in an overheated room. With Oliver, there is always contrast to shape their days, tension to keep them on their toes: You are far form me, you are close to me. We are fighting, we are getting along.”” [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She feels trapped in a relationship that offers unconditional support but lacks challenge, leading to boredom and a desire for growth through tension and contrast. **In simple terms:** She wants excitement, not just comfort. Key Takeaway Seek relationships that balance support with personal growth. Themes relationships growth balance identity conflict Mood restless reflective Type narrative psychological When to use this quote - career decisions - dating - friendship - creative collaborations - personal reflection Key Concepts dependency selfactualization emotional needs personal development Questions to Reflect On - What aspects of comfort feel limiting? - How can tension foster growth? A Different Perspective Too much comfort can stifle personal development and lead to stagnation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adored](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adored/) [Bad mood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-mood/) [Gaze](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gaze/) [Getting along](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/getting-along/) [Hannah Wanted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hannah-wanted-2585291/) [Law school](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/law-school/) [Maybe Hannah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/maybe-hannah-2585292/) [North carolina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/north-carolina/) [Parted Lips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parted-lips-314734/) [Wanted Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted-feel/) ## Related quotes > [You don't need to watch out for me, Clay." But I did, Hannah. And I wanted to. I could have helped you. But when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/you-don-t-need-to-watch-out-for-me-clay-but-i-did-hannah-and-i-wanted/) [Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/) > [“I hasped the window; I combed his black long hair from his forehead; I tried to close his eyes-to extinguish, if possible, that frightful,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-bronte/i-hasped-the-window-i-combed-his-black-long-hair-from-his-forehead-i/) [Emily Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-bronte/) > [“holding the pan-pipes only just fallen away from the parted lips; saw the splendid curves of the shaggy limbs disposed in majestic ease on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-grahame/holding-the-pan-pipes-only-just-fallen-away-from-the-parted-lips-saw/) [Kenneth Grahame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-grahame/) > [“As his parted lips met mine, I started to feel breathless in a new and fascinating way. The space around us evaporated, and for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/as-his-parted-lips-met-mine-i-started-to-feel-breathless-in-a-new-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Then she waited, with parted lips and a saucy challenge in her eyes, to see how her presence -- the drama of being her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/then-she-waited-with-parted-lips-and-a-saucy-challenge-in-her-eyes-to/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“I could feel his breath from between his parted lips, so I moved to seal them with my own, teaching him the truth that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shukyou/i-could-feel-his-breath-from-between-his-parted-lips-so-i-moved-to/) [shukyou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shukyou/) > [“And he was big, so big. Even in her wedge heels, her nose only reached the middle of his chest as he edged closer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-jay/and-he-was-big-so-big-even-in-her-wedge-heels-her-nose-only-reached/) [Emma Jay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-jay/) > [“His gaze lifted as he leaned in, placing his mouth an inch from mine. The air was sucked right out of the room, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/his-gaze-lifted-as-he-leaned-in-placing-his-mouth-an-inch-from-mine/) [Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/) > [“kiss was so gentle and so sweet that Gray actually felt tears burning his eyes. Instead of accepting Gray’s parted lips for the invitation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sloane-kennedy/kiss-was-so-gentle-and-so-sweet-that-gray-actually-felt-tears-burning/) [Sloane Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sloane-kennedy/) > [“We were close enough to kiss, so close I could feel his warm breathon my mouth. I parted my lips, taking what he felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhys-ford/we-were-close-enough-to-kiss-so-close-i-could-feel-his-warm-breathon/) [Rhys Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhys-ford/) > [“Kiss me again,” he challenged, only half joking. It was so weird to hear him say that, to hear those words out loud. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-derting/kiss-me-again-he-challenged-only-half-joking-it-was-so-weird-to-hear/) [Kimberly Derting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-derting/) > [“She parted her lips as though she were going to scold him, but, after a moment of sitting with her mouth agape like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelsey-brickl/she-parted-her-lips-as-though-she-were-going-to-scold-him-but-after-a/) [Kelsey Brickl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelsey-brickl/) > [“Again,” Ryan said. “But this time take note of what I’m doing. Slowly.” He smiled. “Okay?” Jamie nodded, licked his moist bottom lip and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alessandra-hazard/again-ryan-said-but-this-time-take-note-of-what-i-m-doing-slowly-he/) [Alessandra Hazard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alessandra-hazard/) > [“Delicately, she parted her lips, swept them against his, and kissed first his top, then the bottom. Letting her lead, he pinched his brows…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-moran/delicately-she-parted-her-lips-swept-them-against-his-and-kissed/) [Kelly Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-moran/) > [Look at me Elise. Tell me what you think I’m feeling,” he murmured, then bent his head to hers and pressed his mouth to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/look-at-me-elise-tell-me-what-you-think-i-m-feeling-he-murmured-then/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Curtis Sittenfeld > [The best part of being a writer for me is immersing myself in a fictional world, which is the opposite of being on social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/the-best-part-of-being-a-writer-for-me-is-immersing-myself-in-a/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“I think adults forget just how much faith teenagers can have in them, just how willing to believe that adults, by virtue of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-think-adults-forget-just-how-much-faith-teenagers-can-have-in-them/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. Martha was at the library, and I was eating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-came-down-to-my-dorm-that-night-knocking-on-the-door-around-nine/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [My boarding school experience was the only thing I had strong enough feelings to write about for hundreds and hundreds of pages. I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/my-boarding-school-experience-was-the-only-thing-i-had-strong-enough/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [Of course a magazine is usually more interesting than a conversation, because so much more time and preparation has gone into it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/of-course-a-magazine-is-usually-more-interesting-than-a-conversation/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I feel that Pride and Prejudice is an incredibly well constructed novel on every level. The dialogue is great. The character development is great.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-feel-that-pride-and-prejudice-is-an-incredibly-well-constructed/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I should probably be careful admitting this, but sometimes, when my characters are having a disagreement, it's a disagreement I'm having with myself. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-should-probably-be-careful-admitting-this-but-sometimes-when-my/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Approaching each other, him from the gym, me from the library- this was when I walked down the aisle and he was waiting, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/approaching-each-other-him-from-the-gym-me-from-the-library-this-was/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/after-i-d-told-her-the-mall-the-taxi-cross-stroking-my-hair-she-said/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [There's an ongoing 'water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink' situation at my house in terms of both pens and paper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-s-an-ongoing-water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [She opened her mouth but did not immediately speak, and I felt, simultaneously, the impulse to coax the words from her and the impulse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-opened-her-mouth-but-did-not-immediately-speak-and-i-felt/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“But the truth was that I didn't want to stay in Riley. The pulls of familial love and obligation could not, for the moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-the-truth-was-that-i-didn-t-want-to-stay-in-riley-the-pulls-of/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Profii de aici le-au vazut pe toate. Noi ne percepem ca individualitati distincte, dar in ochii lor nu suntem decat o masa de nevoi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/profii-de-aici-le-au-vazut-pe-toate-noi-ne-percepem-ca/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [When I was writing my first two books I was also freelancing and teaching and doing other odd jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-was-writing-my-first-two-books-i-was-also-freelancing-and/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“When I think of Henry and Oliver and Mike, I feel as if they are three different models - templates, almost - and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-think-of-henry-and-oliver-and-mike-i-feel-as-if-they-are-three/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) [Explore all 212 Curtis Sittenfeld quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## More Adored quotes > [Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/like-every-child-i-adored-her-until-i-formed-a-brain-and-got-to-know/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“She almost reminds the engineer of certain types in high school whom everyone adored because you sensed it made no difference to them whether…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-foster-wallace/she-almost-reminds-the-engineer-of-certain-types-in-high-school-whom/) [David Foster Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-foster-wallace/) > [Only conformists are ever adored.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-breillat/only-conformists-are-ever-adored/) [Catherine Breillat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-breillat/) > [No one should be adored, it's fundamentally immoral.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-millett/no-one-should-be-adored-it-s-fundamentally-immoral/) [Kate Millett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-millett/) > [My eyes adored ya Though I never laid a hand on you My eyes adored ya Like a million miles away from me you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frankie-valli/my-eyes-adored-ya-though-i-never-laid-a-hand-on-you-my-eyes-adored-ya/) [Frankie Valli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frankie-valli/) > [My mother was adored by her family and by the scores of children she took care of and their parents, all of whom called…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-woodruff/my-mother-was-adored-by-her-family-and-by-the-scores-of-children-she/) [Judy Woodruff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-woodruff/) > [“His character would be blamed, loathed, discussed, and adored – but somewhere there, behind his mask of a hero, Cardew would remain faceless. Anonymous.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simona-panova/his-character-would-be-blamed-loathed-discussed-and-adored-but/) [Simona Panova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simona-panova/) > [What if you adored God the way that you adore your boyfriend? What if you desired quiet time with Him just as much as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-if-you-adored-god-the-way-that-you-adore-your-boyfriend-what-if/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Aye, without a doubt, he adored her. He would protect her and love her until he took his last breath on God’s beautiful earth.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzan-tisdale/aye-without-a-doubt-he-adored-her-he-would-protect-her-and-love-her/) [Suzan Tisdale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzan-tisdale/) > [I would of done anything for you, to show you how much I adored you but its over now its too late to save…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-would-of-done-anything-for-you-to-show-you-how-much-i-adored-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Long before I had the chance to adore all of you, I adored the bits of you I could see.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-kane/long-before-i-had-the-chance-to-adore-all-of-you-i-adored-the-bits-of/) [Sarah Kane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-kane/) > [“Husbands adored you, too, at least at first. Being adored was something she had come to mistrust. She felt adoration to be a small…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-grenville/husbands-adored-you-too-at-least-at-first-being-adored-was-something/) [Kate Grenville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-grenville/) > [Great artists are the ones who have put their entire selves out there to be adored, humiliated, to be picked at, cherished, all of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carmen-ejogo/great-artists-are-the-ones-who-have-put-their-entire-selves-out-there/) [Carmen Ejogo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carmen-ejogo/) > [Between the adored and the adorer falls the shadow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/between-the-adored-and-the-adorer-falls-the-shadow/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“You want me . And I’m here, now, saying I want you too, saying I love you, and I don’t know where the hell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kitty-french/you-want-me-and-i-m-here-now-saying-i-want-you-too-saying-i-love-you/) [Kitty French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kitty-french/) [Browse all 108 Adored quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adored/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who will deny her. A man of her own who isn't hers. Isn't it the real reason she broke up with Mike--not because he moved to North Carolina for law school (he wanted her to go with him, and she said no) but because he adored her? If she asked him to get out of bed and bring her a glass of water, he did. If she was in a bad mood, he tried to soothe her. It didn't bother him if she cried, or if she didn't wash her hair or shave her legs or have anything interesting to say. He forgave it all, he always thought she was beautiful, he always wanted to be around her. It became so boring! She'd been raised, after all, not to be accommodated but to accommodate, and if she was his world, then his world was small, he was easily satisfied. After a while, when he parted her lips with his tongue, she'd think, Thrash, thrash, here we go. She wanted to feel like she was striving cleanly forward, walking into a bracing wind and learning from her mistakes, and she felt instead like she was sitting in a deep, squishy sofa, eating Cheetos, in an overheated room. With Oliver, there is always contrast to shape their days, tension to keep them on their toes: You are far form me, you are close to me. We are fighting, we are getting along.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Curtis Sittenfeld" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always-wanted-a-man-who-will-deny/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Adored" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always-wanted-a-man-who-will-deny/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/460/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_adored_but-maybe-this-is-what-hannah-has-always_1060258.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But maybe this is what Hannah has always wanted: a man who will deny her. 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