--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Before and after... I heard a thousand…" description: "\"Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy, or a man, can't make you happy, that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg" --- # Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy… ![“Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy, or a man, can't make you happy, that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with another person. All I can say is, I wish it were true.” quote by Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg) > “Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy, or a man, can't make you happy, that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with another person. All I can say is, I wish it were true.” [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Happiness depends on self‑contentment before it can be shared, yet the quote doubts that ideal. **In simple terms:** You must be happy alone before loving another. Key Takeaway Cultivate personal joy first. Themes self‑love relationships expectations Mood reflective hopeful Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - dating - personal growth - mental health - relationship counseling Key Concepts psychology emotional independence Questions to Reflect On - Can you find joy without another person? - What does “being happy on your own” truly mean? A Different Perspective True happiness also involves external connections, not just self‑sufficiency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Before and after](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/before-and-after/) [Boys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boys/) [Happy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happy/) [Happy person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happy-person/) [Heard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heard/) [Make happy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-happy/) [Make you happy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-you-happy/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Person Say](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-say-232598/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Sand Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sand-time/) [Thousand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thousand/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Wish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wish/) [Wish True](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wish-true-316241/) ## Related quotes > [Money will never make you happy if you are an unhappy person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kiyosaki/money-will-never-make-you-happy-if-you-are-an-unhappy-person/) [Robert Kiyosaki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kiyosaki/) > [There is only one person who can ever know exactly what you want and truly make you happy - that person is you!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-austin/there-is-only-one-person-who-can-ever-know-exactly-what-you-want-and/) [Denise Austin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-austin/) > [Things we wish to be true are apt to gain too ready credit with us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-richardson/things-we-wish-to-be-true-are-apt-to-gain-too-ready-credit-with-us/) [Samuel Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-richardson/) > [“But no. There is a difference between the truth and what we wish were true.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/but-no-there-is-a-difference-between-the-truth-and-what-we-wish-were/) [Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/) > [“A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.” L.A. Story (1991) – Harris Telemacher (Steve Martin)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/a-kiss-may-not-be-the-truth-but-it-is-what-we-wish-were-true-l-a/) [Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/) > [“Nothing else matters. If I had a penny right now I'd wish that were true; I want to believe it more than I've ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/nothing-else-matters-if-i-had-a-penny-right-now-i-d-wish-that-were/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“For years, he filled a notebook with beautiful lies and impossible hopes. When he found a genie, he simply said, "I wish it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-r-darling/for-years-he-filled-a-notebook-with-beautiful-lies-and-impossible/) [T.R. Darling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-r-darling/) > [A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/a-kiss-may-not-be-the-truth-but-it-is-what-we-wish-were-true/) [Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/) > [Our minds sometimes see what our hearts wish were true.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-brown/our-minds-sometimes-see-what-our-hearts-wish-were-true/) [Dan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-brown/) > [I wish," Jared began, and stopped, breathing in. "Do you remember how you used to believe I wasn't real? Sometimes I wish that was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-rees-brennan/i-wish-jared-began-and-stopped-breathing-in-do-you-remember-how-you/) [Sarah Rees Brennan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-rees-brennan/) > [You only live one time, and I'm not going to be the type of person to say, 'I wish I did this' or 'I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenny-stills/you-only-live-one-time-and-i-m-not-going-to-be-the-type-of-person-to/) [Kenny Stills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenny-stills/) > [What can a sales person say to somebody to get them to buy a product that they already use every day if they don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-ellison/what-can-a-sales-person-say-to-somebody-to-get-them-to-buy-a-product/) [Larry Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-ellison/) > [You can tell more about a person by what they say about others than you can by what others say about them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyga/you-can-tell-more-about-a-person-by-what-they-say-about-others-than/) [Tyga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyga/) > [“I get sad every time I hear a person say "I don't read." It's like saying "I don't learn," or "I don't laugh," or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alafair-burke/i-get-sad-every-time-i-hear-a-person-say-i-don-t-read-it-s-like/) [Alafair Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alafair-burke/) > [“But if I had to pick another person for her, I'd have to say you, Jess, since I hold you in such high regard.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-brendan/but-if-i-had-to-pick-another-person-for-her-i-d-have-to-say-you-jess/) [Maggie Brendan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-brendan/) ## More by Curtis Sittenfeld > [The best part of being a writer for me is immersing myself in a fictional world, which is the opposite of being on social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/the-best-part-of-being-a-writer-for-me-is-immersing-myself-in-a/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“I think adults forget just how much faith teenagers can have in them, just how willing to believe that adults, by virtue of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-think-adults-forget-just-how-much-faith-teenagers-can-have-in-them/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. Martha was at the library, and I was eating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-came-down-to-my-dorm-that-night-knocking-on-the-door-around-nine/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [My boarding school experience was the only thing I had strong enough feelings to write about for hundreds and hundreds of pages. I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/my-boarding-school-experience-was-the-only-thing-i-had-strong-enough/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [Of course a magazine is usually more interesting than a conversation, because so much more time and preparation has gone into it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/of-course-a-magazine-is-usually-more-interesting-than-a-conversation/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I feel that Pride and Prejudice is an incredibly well constructed novel on every level. The dialogue is great. The character development is great.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-feel-that-pride-and-prejudice-is-an-incredibly-well-constructed/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [I should probably be careful admitting this, but sometimes, when my characters are having a disagreement, it's a disagreement I'm having with myself. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/i-should-probably-be-careful-admitting-this-but-sometimes-when-my/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Approaching each other, him from the gym, me from the library- this was when I walked down the aisle and he was waiting, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/approaching-each-other-him-from-the-gym-me-from-the-library-this-was/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/after-i-d-told-her-the-mall-the-taxi-cross-stroking-my-hair-she-said/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [There's an ongoing 'water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink' situation at my house in terms of both pens and paper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/there-s-an-ongoing-water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [She opened her mouth but did not immediately speak, and I felt, simultaneously, the impulse to coax the words from her and the impulse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/she-opened-her-mouth-but-did-not-immediately-speak-and-i-felt/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“But the truth was that I didn't want to stay in Riley. The pulls of familial love and obligation could not, for the moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/but-the-truth-was-that-i-didn-t-want-to-stay-in-riley-the-pulls-of/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“Profii de aici le-au vazut pe toate. Noi ne percepem ca individualitati distincte, dar in ochii lor nu suntem decat o masa de nevoi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/profii-de-aici-le-au-vazut-pe-toate-noi-ne-percepem-ca/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [When I was writing my first two books I was also freelancing and teaching and doing other odd jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-was-writing-my-first-two-books-i-was-also-freelancing-and/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [“When I think of Henry and Oliver and Mike, I feel as if they are three different models - templates, almost - and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/when-i-think-of-henry-and-oliver-and-mike-i-feel-as-if-they-are-three/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) [Explore all 212 Curtis Sittenfeld quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## More Before and after quotes > [Learning is the measurement of knowledge before and after.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eben-pagan/learning-is-the-measurement-of-knowledge-before-and-after/) [Eben Pagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eben-pagan/) > [Stretching, which I do for five to 10 minutes before and after a match, is so important in general when it comes to prolonging…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jozy-altidore/stretching-which-i-do-for-five-to-10-minutes-before-and-after-a-match/) [Jozy Altidore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jozy-altidore/) > [I would like my book to give people insight to the war before and after, but I don't think anyone could read my book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asne-seierstad/i-would-like-my-book-to-give-people-insight-to-the-war-before-and/) [Asne Seierstad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asne-seierstad/) > [Art has a double visage: it looks before and after. Romance is its forward-looking face. The germ of growth is in romanticism. Formalism, on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-edward-woodberry/art-has-a-double-visage-it-looks-before-and-after-romance-is-its/) [George Edward Woodberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-edward-woodberry/) > [Sever the edge between before and after.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/takuan-soho/sever-the-edge-between-before-and-after/) [Takuan Soho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/takuan-soho/) > [Our sages of blessed memory have said that we must not enjoy any pleasure in this world without reciting a blessing. If we eat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shmuel-yosef-agnon/our-sages-of-blessed-memory-have-said-that-we-must-not-enjoy-any/) [Shmuel Yosef Agnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shmuel-yosef-agnon/) > [Love: a single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge. That's what it is: an edge; a razor.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/love-a-single-word-a-wispy-thing-a-word-no-bigger-or-longer-than-an/) [Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/) > [If this glorious birth to death hassle is the only hassle we are ever to have ..if our grand exhilarating fight of life is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-kesey/if-this-glorious-birth-to-death-hassle-is-the-only-hassle-we-are-ever/) [Ken Kesey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-kesey/) > [Aum is the most powerful of all mantras. It is good to chant Aum seven or more times before and after each meditation. Chanting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/aum-is-the-most-powerful-of-all-mantras-it-is-good-to-chant-aum-seven/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [I feel like we were the last generation, and there's this big divide before and after the 1990s. I feel sorry for the kids…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chloe-sevigny/i-feel-like-we-were-the-last-generation-and-there-s-this-big-divide/) [Chloe Sevigny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chloe-sevigny/) > [I've been on tour since I was 16, and I always do meet-and-greets before and after shows, so you kind of build these friendships…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-swift/i-ve-been-on-tour-since-i-was-16-and-i-always-do-meet-and-greets/) [Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-swift/) > [I spent a month in India and where I learnt an important word for me, for everything that had come before and after, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-ogilvie/i-spent-a-month-in-india-and-where-i-learnt-an-important-word-for-me/) [George Ogilvie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-ogilvie/) > [For the bliss of the animals lies in this, that, on their lower level, they shadow the bliss of those--few at any moment on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-macdonald/for-the-bliss-of-the-animals-lies-in-this-that-on-their-lower-level/) [George MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-macdonald/) > [Imagination, where it is truly creative, is a faculty, and not a quality; it looks before and after, it gives the form that makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-russell-lowell/imagination-where-it-is-truly-creative-is-a-faculty-and-not-a-quality/) [James Russell Lowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-russell-lowell/) > [Perhaps this is how girls fall -- not in some crime of enchantment at the hands of a wicked ne'er-do-well, a grand before and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/libba-bray/perhaps-this-is-how-girls-fall-not-in-some-crime-of-enchantment-at/) [Libba Bray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/libba-bray/) [Browse all 85 Before and after quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/before-and-after/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy, or a man, can't make you happy, that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with another person. All I can say is, I wish it were true.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Curtis Sittenfeld" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-times-that-a-boy-or-a-man-can-t/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Before and after" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-times-that-a-boy-or-a-man-can-t/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/curtis-sittenfeld-1731_before-and-after_before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-time_1476043.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Before and after... I heard a thousand times that a boy, or a man, can't make you happy, that you have to be…” — Curtis Sittenfeld", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Curtis Sittenfeld", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Before and after... I heard a...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-times-that-a-boy-or-a-man-can-t/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/before-and-after-i-heard-a-thousand-times-that-a-boy-or-a-man-can-t/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```