--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She unwinds her scarf, taking so long…" description: "\"“She unwinds her scarf, taking so long about it that I wonder if she expects me to respond. “You were following the rules,” I offer after a minute. It ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4eb/corinne-duyvis-42418_autism_she-unwinds-her-scarf-taking-so-long-abo_2605108.jpg" --- # She unwinds her scarf, taking so long about it that I… ![“She unwinds her scarf, taking so long about it that I wonder if she expects me to respond. “You were following the rules,” I offer after a minute. It makes her words no more pleasant. Resentment. Was that how she’d looked at me? Then how am I supposed to trust how she looks at me now? My words…” quote by Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4eb/corinne-duyvis-42418_autism_she-unwinds-her-scarf-taking-so-long-abo_2605108.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4eb/corinne-duyvis-42418_autism_she-unwinds-her-scarf-taking-so-long-abo_2605108.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4eb/corinne-duyvis-42418_autism_she-unwinds-her-scarf-taking-so-long-abo_2605108.jpg) > ““She unwinds her scarf, taking so long about it that I wonder if she expects me to respond. “You were following the rules,” I offer after a minute. It makes her words no more pleasant. Resentment. Was that how she’d looked at me? Then how am I supposed to trust how she looks at me now? My words elicit a thankful smile. “Mostly, though, I knew you could do the job. Did you ever know other autistic people?” I shake my head. I’d heard rumors about one teacher, but never asked him. Mom had encouraged me to find a local support group, but I’d never seen the appeal—or the need. It wouldn’t change anything. I had friends, anyway. Peopleonline, my fellow volunteers at the Way Station. I even got along with Iris’s friends. “Well, I did, and I feel like a fool for never recognizing your autism. I had autistic colleagues at the university. They were accommodated, and they thrived. One researcher came in earlier than everyone else and would stay the longest. I saw the same strengths in you once I knew to look for them. You’re punctual, you’re precise, you’re trustworthy. When you don’t know something, you either figure it out or you ask, and either way, you get it right. I wanted to give you the same chance my colleagues had, and that other Nassau passengers got. One of the doctors is autistic—did you know?” Els silences an incoming call. “Does that answer your question?”” [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The passage explores the complexities of communication, misunderstanding, and the hidden strengths of autistic individuals, highlighting the need for empathy and recognition. **In simple terms:** Misunderstandings can hide valuable traits; empathy reveals them. Key Takeaway Seek to understand before judging. Themes communication empathy autism misunderstanding strengths Mood reflective hopeful Type conversational inspirational When to use this quote - workplace interactions - friendship dynamics - support groups - self‑advocacy Key Concepts Neurodiversity social perception inclusion Questions to Reflect On - How can you better recognize hidden strengths? - What steps foster genuine understanding? A Different Perspective Assuming intent without clarification can deepen resentment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Autism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autism/) [Autistic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autistic/) [Autistic-author](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autistic-author/) [Following The Rules](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/following-the-rules/) [Science fiction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/science-fiction/) ## Related quotes > [“That’s very trusting.” Iris watches Anke search our backpacks. “We’re saving people’s lives. We thought we could be,”Anke says. I’m more fixated on her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/that-s-very-trusting-iris-watches-anke-search-our-backpacks-we-re/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“I mean: if you’re going outside to look for your sister, I get it.” Max goes silent. Maybe Mirjam’s death is hitting him now,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/i-mean-if-you-re-going-outside-to-look-for-your-sister-i-get-it-max/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“Ten minutes after loading up her plate, when Iris is sipping pale apple juice, she asks Els across the table, “I’m told I should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/ten-minutes-after-loading-up-her-plate-when-iris-is-sipping-pale/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“A smaller plate got mixed in with the large ones I’m working on. I’m tempted to put it back into the dishwasher by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/a-smaller-plate-got-mixed-in-with-the-large-ones-i-m-working-on-i-m/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“I loosen my grip and take a tasteless bite. I don’t like bananas much—they’re so mealy—but they’re a safe fruit to eat, always cleanly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/i-loosen-my-grip-and-take-a-tasteless-bite-i-don-t-like-bananas-much/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“Do I have to admit that I'm half Cuban and half American, or should I go even further, and explain that Dad's parents were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margarita-engle/do-i-have-to-admit-that-i-m-half-cuban-and-half-american-or-should-i/) [Margarita Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margarita-engle/) > [“At the steamy train station in New Orleans, horrifying signs above drinking fountains announce: COLORED. WHITE. Confused, I drink out of both. Why should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margarita-engle/at-the-steamy-train-station-in-new-orleans-horrifying-signs-above/) [Margarita Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margarita-engle/) > [“I saw her note the way I hovered over the various ethnicities on the form. First the 'white' box, then to the airspace over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/olivia-sudjic/i-saw-her-note-the-way-i-hovered-over-the-various-ethnicities-on-the/) [Olivia Sudjic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/olivia-sudjic/) > [“The Romans and Greeks believed that the appearance of comets, meteors, and meteor showers was portentous. They were signs that something good or bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kayla-cunningham/the-romans-and-greeks-believed-that-the-appearance-of-comets-meteors/) [Kayla Cunningham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kayla-cunningham/) ## More by Corinne Duyvis > [“There are skeletons in this earth.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/there-are-skeletons-in-this-earth/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“That’s very trusting.” Iris watches Anke search our backpacks. “We’re saving people’s lives. We thought we could be,”Anke says. I’m more fixated on her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/that-s-very-trusting-iris-watches-anke-search-our-backpacks-we-re/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“Every engineer, doctor, and farmer on this ship has relatives on the waiting list, too, and those relatives won’t be drug addicts. Mom’s right:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/every-engineer-doctor-and-farmer-on-this-ship-has-relatives-on-the/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“Ten minutes after loading up her plate, when Iris is sipping pale apple juice, she asks Els across the table, “I’m told I should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/ten-minutes-after-loading-up-her-plate-when-iris-is-sipping-pale/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“He’s wearing a T-shirt for the first time, answering thatquestion I had when we met. It’s not muscle filling out Max’s clothes; he’s just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/he-s-wearing-a-t-shirt-for-the-first-time-answering-thatquestion-i/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“A smaller plate got mixed in with the large ones I’m working on. I’m tempted to put it back into the dishwasher by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/a-smaller-plate-got-mixed-in-with-the-large-ones-i-m-working-on-i-m/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“I loosen my grip and take a tasteless bite. I don’t like bananas much—they’re so mealy—but they’re a safe fruit to eat, always cleanly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/i-loosen-my-grip-and-take-a-tasteless-bite-i-don-t-like-bananas-much/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) > [“I mean: if you’re going outside to look for your sister, I get it.” Max goes silent. Maybe Mirjam’s death is hitting him now,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/i-mean-if-you-re-going-outside-to-look-for-your-sister-i-get-it-max/) [Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) [Explore all 9 Corinne Duyvis quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/) ## More Autism quotes > [“We know that children with autism like order, that they are often very visual and that they can be quite literal. 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Self-diagnosed autistics and fakers were asking diagnosed autistics whether or not they had a diagnosis, and if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-d-taylor/unfortunately-by-this-time-it-didn-t-matter-self-diagnosed-autistics/) [Thomas D. Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-d-taylor/) [Browse all 621 Autism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autism/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She unwinds her scarf, taking so long about it that I wonder if she expects me to respond. “You were following the rules,” I offer after a minute. It makes her words no more pleasant. Resentment. Was that how she’d looked at me? Then how am I supposed to trust how she looks at me now? My words elicit a thankful smile. “Mostly, though, I knew you could do the job. Did you ever know other autistic people?” I shake my head. I’d heard rumors about one teacher, but never asked him. Mom had encouraged me to find a local support group, but I’d never seen the appeal—or the need. It wouldn’t change anything. I had friends, anyway. Peopleonline, my fellow volunteers at the Way Station. I even got along with Iris’s friends. “Well, I did, and I feel like a fool for never recognizing your autism. I had autistic colleagues at the university. They were accommodated, and they thrived. One researcher came in earlier than everyone else and would stay the longest. I saw the same strengths in you once I knew to look for them. You’re punctual, you’re precise, you’re trustworthy. When you don’t know something, you either figure it out or you ask, and either way, you get it right. I wanted to give you the same chance my colleagues had, and that other Nassau passengers got. 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