---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a…"
description: "\"“Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window. Suave. Sultry. I'm neither of those things”\" — Chuck Wendig"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg"
---

#  Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window…

![“Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window. Suave. Sultry. I'm neither of those things” quote by Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg)

> ““Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window. Suave. Sultry. I'm neither of those things””

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker feels out of place among seductive, confident archetypes, highlighting personal insecurity and self-awareness.

**In simple terms:** I’m not as smooth or seductive as others.

Key Takeaway

Accept your authentic self.

Themes

self‑esteem identity confidence

Mood

reflective humorous

Type

personal observational

When to use this quote

- dating
- social events
- personal reflection

Key Concepts

social comparison authenticity

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you define your own worth?
- What traits do you value in yourself?

A Different Perspective

Self‑acceptance can be hindered by external expectations.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Vampire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vampire/) [Vampires](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vampires/)

## Related quotes

> [“Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on-a-glass-window/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [maybe we try too hard to be remembered, waking to the glowing yellow disc in ignorance, swearing that today will be the day, today…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-shihab-nye/maybe-we-try-too-hard-to-be-remembered-waking-to-the-glowing-yellow/)

[Naomi Shihab Nye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-shihab-nye/)

> [I've always found it difficult to start with a definite idea, but if I start with a pond that's being drained because of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobbie-ann-mason/i-ve-always-found-it-difficult-to-start-with-a-definite-idea-but-if-i/)

[Bobbie Ann Mason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobbie-ann-mason/)

> [Asleep by the Smiths Vapour Trail by Ride Scarborough Fair by Simon &amp; Garfunkel A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum Dear Prudence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/asleep-by-the-smiths-vapour-trail-by-ride-scarborough-fair-by-simon/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [Blackbirds are the cellos of the deep farms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-stevenson/blackbirds-are-the-cellos-of-the-deep-farms/)

[Anne Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-stevenson/)

> [In spring more mortal singers than belong To any one place cover us with song. Thrush, bluebird, blackbird, sparrow, and robin throng.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-frost/in-spring-more-mortal-singers-than-belong-to-any-one-place-cover-us/)

[Robert Frost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-frost/)

> [Because of her, he had learned to look for the birds - the darting flight of wild canaries (yellow sun on yellow wings), the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-kay/because-of-her-he-had-learned-to-look-for-the-birds-the-darting/)

Terry Kay

> [The song of thrush and blackbird, joy that falls so gently on the ears to celebrate another day of life and living, flying free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mcleod/the-song-of-thrush-and-blackbird-joy-that-falls-so-gently-on-the-ears/)

[John McLeod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mcleod/)

> [Augustus: “You probably need some rest.” Me: “I’m okay.” Augustus: “Okay.” (Pause.) “What are you thinking about?” Me: “You.” Augustus: “What about me?” Me:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/augustus-you-probably-need-some-rest-me-i-m-okay-augustus-okay-pause/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [At the sight of blackbirds Flying in a green light, Even the bawds of euphony Would cry out sharply.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stevens/at-the-sight-of-blackbirds-flying-in-a-green-light-even-the-bawds-of/)

[Wallace Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stevens/)

> [The river is moving. The blackbird must be flying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stevens/the-river-is-moving-the-blackbird-must-be-flying/)

[Wallace Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stevens/)

> [I don't mind him not talking so much, because you can hear his voice in your heart; the same way you can hear a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-rapp/i-don-t-mind-him-not-talking-so-much-because-you-can-hear-his-voice/)

[Adam Rapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-rapp/)

> [I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/i-value-my-garden-more-for-being-full-of-blackbirds-than-of-cherries/)

[Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/)

> [I started reading contemporary fiction in college or right after college. It wasn't as if I was steeped in experimental minimalism when I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leni-zumas/i-started-reading-contemporary-fiction-in-college-or-right-after/)

[Leni Zumas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leni-zumas/)

> [We are nature. We are nature seeing nature. The red-winged blackbird flies in us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/we-are-nature-we-are-nature-seeing-nature-the-red-winged-blackbird/)

[Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/)

## More by Chuck Wendig

> [You've got all these characters and yet, you're hovering over one character like a fly over a stinky diaper. Realize that you've got a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/you-ve-got-all-these-characters-and-yet-you-re-hovering-over-one/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [When in doubt, the rule of threes is a rule that plays well with all of storytelling. When describing a thing? No more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/when-in-doubt-the-rule-of-threes-is-a-rule-that-plays-well-with-all/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“All hail the light, the dark, and the grey.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/all-hail-the-light-the-dark-and-the-grey/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Naughty business, this Empire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/naughty-business-this-empire/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Things happen in this life. Sometimes they're good things, and sometimes they're bad things. You have to come to terms with the bad things,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/things-happen-in-this-life-sometimes-they-re-good-things-and/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Did you just say shrug instead of actually shrugging?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/did-you-just-say-shrug-instead-of-actually-shrugging/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“On the worst day of writing, the work is instructive. On the best day, the act is transcendent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/on-the-worst-day-of-writing-the-work-is-instructive-on-the-best-day/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“A HUG IS LIKE VIOLENCE MADE OF LOVE.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/a-hug-is-like-violence-made-of-love/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Stories have the power to make people feel. To give a shit. To change their opinions. To change the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/stories-have-the-power-to-make-people-feel-to-give-a-shit-to-change/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“You thought what? That because you’re a nice guy, my panties will just drop because you deserve to have my thighs around your ears?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/you-thought-what-that-because-you-re-a-nice-guy-my-panties-will-just/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Today is a day of celebration. We have triumphed over villainy and oppression and have given our Alliance—and the galaxy beyond it—a chance to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/today-is-a-day-of-celebration-we-have-triumphed-over-villainy-and/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Write as much as you can. As fast as you can. Finish your shit. Hit your deadlines. Try very hard not to suck.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/write-as-much-as-you-can-as-fast-as-you-can-finish-your-shit-hit-your/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“everyone likes to be sold easy promises, don’t they?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/everyone-likes-to-be-sold-easy-promises-don-t-they/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“I would straight up fuck a snowman right now, she says. Just to cool down. - Miriam Black”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/i-would-straight-up-fuck-a-snowman-right-now-she-says-just-to-cool/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

> [“Writers are made--forged, really, in a kiln of their own madness and insecurities--over the course of many, many moons. The writer you are when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/writers-are-made-forged-really-in-a-kiln-of-their-own-madness-and/)

[Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

[Explore all 102 Chuck Wendig quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/)

## More Blackbirds quotes

> [We are nature. We are nature seeing nature. The red-winged blackbird flies in us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/we-are-nature-we-are-nature-seeing-nature-the-red-winged-blackbird/)

[Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/)

> [I started reading contemporary fiction in college or right after college. It wasn't as if I was steeped in experimental minimalism when I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leni-zumas/i-started-reading-contemporary-fiction-in-college-or-right-after/)

[Leni Zumas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leni-zumas/)

> [I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/i-value-my-garden-more-for-being-full-of-blackbirds-than-of-cherries/)

[Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/)

> [I don't mind him not talking so much, because you can hear his voice in your heart; the same way you can hear a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-rapp/i-don-t-mind-him-not-talking-so-much-because-you-can-hear-his-voice/)

[Adam Rapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-rapp/)

> [The river is moving. The blackbird must be flying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stevens/the-river-is-moving-the-blackbird-must-be-flying/)

[Wallace Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stevens/)

> [At the sight of blackbirds Flying in a green light, Even the bawds of euphony Would cry out sharply.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stevens/at-the-sight-of-blackbirds-flying-in-a-green-light-even-the-bawds-of/)

[Wallace Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stevens/)

> [Augustus: “You probably need some rest.” Me: “I’m okay.” Augustus: “Okay.” (Pause.) “What are you thinking about?” Me: “You.” Augustus: “What about me?” Me:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/augustus-you-probably-need-some-rest-me-i-m-okay-augustus-okay-pause/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [The song of thrush and blackbird, joy that falls so gently on the ears to celebrate another day of life and living, flying free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mcleod/the-song-of-thrush-and-blackbird-joy-that-falls-so-gently-on-the-ears/)

[John McLeod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mcleod/)

> [Because of her, he had learned to look for the birds - the darting flight of wild canaries (yellow sun on yellow wings), the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-kay/because-of-her-he-had-learned-to-look-for-the-birds-the-darting/)

Terry Kay

> [In spring more mortal singers than belong To any one place cover us with song. Thrush, bluebird, blackbird, sparrow, and robin throng.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-frost/in-spring-more-mortal-singers-than-belong-to-any-one-place-cover-us/)

[Robert Frost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-frost/)

> [Blackbirds are the cellos of the deep farms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-stevenson/blackbirds-are-the-cellos-of-the-deep-farms/)

[Anne Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-stevenson/)

> [Asleep by the Smiths Vapour Trail by Ride Scarborough Fair by Simon &amp; Garfunkel A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum Dear Prudence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/asleep-by-the-smiths-vapour-trail-by-ride-scarborough-fair-by-simon/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [I've always found it difficult to start with a definite idea, but if I start with a pond that's being drained because of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobbie-ann-mason/i-ve-always-found-it-difficult-to-start-with-a-definite-idea-but-if-i/)

[Bobbie Ann Mason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobbie-ann-mason/)

> [maybe we try too hard to be remembered, waking to the glowing yellow disc in ignorance, swearing that today will be the day, today…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-shihab-nye/maybe-we-try-too-hard-to-be-remembered-waking-to-the-glowing-yellow/)

[Naomi Shihab Nye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-shihab-nye/)

> [A springful of larks in a rolling Cloud and the roadside bushes brimming with whistling Blackbirds and the sun of October Summery On the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-thomas/a-springful-of-larks-in-a-rolling-cloud-and-the-roadside-bushes/)

[Dylan Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-thomas/)

Browse all 46 Blackbirds quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window. Suave. Sultry. I'm neither of those things”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Chuck Wendig"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on-a-glass-window-suave-sultry-i/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Blackbirds"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on-a-glass-window-suave-sultry-i/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/chuck-wendig-5165_blackbirds_vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on_1407569.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window. Suave. Sultry. I'm neither of those things” — Chuck Wendig",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Chuck Wendig",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Vampires are slicker than goose shit...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on-a-glass-window-suave-sultry-i/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/vampires-are-slicker-than-goose-shit-on-a-glass-window-suave-sultry-i/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
