--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One real danger in love relationships is…" description: "\"“One real danger in love relationships is that most people secretly believe that they must control the love object in order to feel safe in loving and ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/christopher-s-hyatt-49323_1991_one-real-danger-in-love-relationships-is_2985667.jpg" --- # One real danger in love relationships is that most people… ![“One real danger in love relationships is that most people secretly believe that they must control the love object in order to feel safe in loving and being loved. The cause of this is simple—children are made to feel that they must "give themselves up" if they are to be loved. Thus, for most…” quote by Christopher S. Hyatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/christopher-s-hyatt-49323_1991_one-real-danger-in-love-relationships-is_2985667.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/christopher-s-hyatt-49323_1991_one-real-danger-in-love-relationships-is_2985667.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/christopher-s-hyatt-49323_1991_one-real-danger-in-love-relationships-is_2985667.jpg) > ““One real danger in love relationships is that most people secretly believe that they must control the love object in order to feel safe in loving and being loved. The cause of this is simple—children are made to feel that they must "give themselves up" if they are to be loved. Thus, for most humans the act of surrender has meant the loss of autonomy or worse—loss of one's own mind. Surrender is neither control nor morbid dependency and cannot be made contingent upon giving away one's "soul"; nonetheless, the person surrendering opens completely to the moment, and runs the risk of being deeply hurt. Sadly, in our society this is not uncommon and frequently serves to harden or embitter a person toward life in general. Or, on the other had being deeply hurt in the act of surrender can lead to angry and painful "cries for help." When this occurs there is an insatiable and wrathful desire to be cared for as a child is cared for and the horrid fear of loss of independence.”” [Christopher S. Hyatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-s-hyatt/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True love requires surrender without losing autonomy; fear of dependence stems from childhood conditioning, leading to pain when vulnerability is hurt. **In simple terms:** Love needs surrender, not control. Key Takeaway Practice healthy vulnerability while preserving self. Themes love vulnerability autonomy Mood thought‑provoking cautionary Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - intimate relationships - therapy sessions - personal growth workshops - self‑reflection - support groups Key Concepts psychology of attachment boundaries emotional health Questions to Reflect On - How can you differentiate healthy surrender from losing self? - What boundaries protect your autonomy in love? A Different Perspective Surrender can be misinterpreted as weakness or dependency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [1991](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/zz-1991-478/) [Control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/control/) [Control Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/control-love-249139/) [Deeply hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deeply-hurt/) [Life in general](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-in-general/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-relationships/) [Loving And Being Loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loving-and-being-loved/) [Surrender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender/) [Surrender Control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender-control-1713149/) [Surrender Meant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender-meant-4666786/) [Surrendering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrendering/) [Thelema](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thelema/) ## Related quotes > [“The pages of history are red with the blood of illuminated "saints" who were murdered by their religions for actually achieving the advertised spiritual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-s-hyatt/the-pages-of-history-are-red-with-the-blood-of-illuminated-saints-who/) [Christopher S. Hyatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-s-hyatt/) > [“Life doesn’t fall apart when you surrender control, it quietly rearranges itself to fit who you’re becoming.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shamail-aijaz/life-doesn-t-fall-apart-when-you-surrender-control-it-quietly/) [Shamail Aijaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shamail-aijaz/) > [“When you begin to surrender control and let God fill you with His love, with renewed purpose, and with a conscience at peace, then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-kendrick/when-you-begin-to-surrender-control-and-let-god-fill-you-with-his/) [Stephen Kendrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-kendrick/) > [The simple intention to surrender control is all you need to experience miracles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-bernstein/the-simple-intention-to-surrender-control-is-all-you-need-to/) [Gabrielle Bernstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-bernstein/) > [“I often give way to the fantasy that I have the wisdom, power, and character to control people, places, and things in my life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-david-tripp/i-often-give-way-to-the-fantasy-that-i-have-the-wisdom-power-and/) [Paul David Tripp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-david-tripp/) > [The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-cameron/the-creative-process-is-a-process-of-surrender-not-control/) [Julia Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-cameron/) > [. . . the cruel part is that, to let the play live, you have to surrender control and let your characters go. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-howe/the-cruel-part-is-that-to-let-the-play-live-you-have-to-surrender/) [Tina Howe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-howe/) > [“For this was the other thing that Elric knew: that to compromise with Tyranny is always to be destroyed by it. 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A lot of times people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-d/i-don-t-like-the-way-our-community-throws-the-word-around-like-it-s/) [Chuck D](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-d/) > [“The dilemma facing Bush and the Republicans was clear. If Marshall left, they could not leave the Supreme Court an all-white institution; at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-toobin/the-dilemma-facing-bush-and-the-republicans-was-clear-if-marshall/) [Jeffrey Toobin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-toobin/) > [“Among the privileges of being a superpower, the right and the ability to make a local quarrel into a global one ranks very high.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-hitchens/among-the-privileges-of-being-a-superpower-the-right-and-the-ability/) [Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-hitchens/) > [“I find it’s more fun to write about something that you don’t know completely and that you will discover on route. A dear friend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-mailer/i-find-it-s-more-fun-to-write-about-something-that-you-don-t-know/) [Norman Mailer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-mailer/) > [There cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of prosperity without appreciation. You cannot find beauty unless you appreciate beauty. You cannot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-r-miller/there-cannot-be-a-sense-of-abundance-or-the-experience-of-prosperity/) [William R. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-r-miller/) ## More by Christopher S. Hyatt > [“Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-s-hyatt/masturbation-is-pleasure-without-cost-so-how-might-you-make-people-pay/) [Christopher S. Hyatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-s-hyatt/) > [“I had learned very early that not getting caught was just about the solution to every problem. 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Hyatt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-s-hyatt/) ## More 1991 quotes > [“I find it’s more fun to write about something that you don’t know completely and that you will discover on route. A dear friend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-mailer/i-find-it-s-more-fun-to-write-about-something-that-you-don-t-know/) [Norman Mailer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-mailer/) > [“Among the privileges of being a superpower, the right and the ability to make a local quarrel into a global one ranks very high.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-hitchens/among-the-privileges-of-being-a-superpower-the-right-and-the-ability/) [Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-hitchens/) > [“The dilemma facing Bush and the Republicans was clear. If Marshall left, they could not leave the Supreme Court an all-white institution; at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-toobin/the-dilemma-facing-bush-and-the-republicans-was-clear-if-marshall/) [Jeffrey Toobin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-toobin/) > [“I don't like the way our community throws the word around like it's water, because it's a derogatory term. A lot of times people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-d/i-don-t-like-the-way-our-community-throws-the-word-around-like-it-s/) [Chuck D](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-d/) > [“The pages of history are red with the blood of illuminated "saints" who were murdered by their religions for actually achieving the advertised spiritual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-s-hyatt/the-pages-of-history-are-red-with-the-blood-of-illuminated-saints-who/) [Christopher S. Hyatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-s-hyatt/) > [“For this was the other thing that Elric knew: that to compromise with Tyranny is always to be destroyed by it. 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