--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The sick person becomes very adept at…" description: "\"“The sick person becomes very adept at distinguishing between compassion and pity. Compassion is someone else’s suffering flaring in your own nerves. P..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/christian-wiman-10211_compassion_the-sick-person-becomes-very-adept-at-di_1798967.png" --- # The sick person becomes very adept at distinguishing… ![“The sick person becomes very adept at distinguishing between compassion and pity. Compassion is someone else’s suffering flaring in your own nerves. Pity is a projection of, a lament for, the self. All those people weeping in the mirror of your misery? Their tears are real, but they are not for you.” quote by Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/christian-wiman-10211_compassion_the-sick-person-becomes-very-adept-at-di_1798967.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/christian-wiman-10211_compassion_the-sick-person-becomes-very-adept-at-di_1798967.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/christian-wiman-10211_compassion_the-sick-person-becomes-very-adept-at-di_1798967.png) > ““The sick person becomes very adept at distinguishing between compassion and pity. Compassion is someone else’s suffering flaring in your own nerves. Pity is a projection of, a lament for, the self. All those people weeping in the mirror of your misery? Their tears are real, but they are not for you.”” [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Compassion feels like another’s pain entering your own body, while pity is a self‑centered projection of that pain. **In simple terms:** Compassion = shared pain; pity = self‑focused sorrow Key Takeaway Recognize and nurture true compassion, not self‑serving pity Themes empathy self‑awareness humanity Mood reflective empathetic Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - counseling - healthcare - personal relationships - support groups Key Concepts psychology philosophy ethics Questions to Reflect On - How do you differentiate feeling for someone from feeling for yourself? - What practices help shift pity to compassion? A Different Perspective Pity can be mistaken for empathy, leading to disengagement ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Sickness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sickness/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) ## Related quotes > [Compassion is not pity ... compassion never considers an object as weak or inferior. Compassion, one might say, works from a strength born of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/compassion-is-not-pity-compassion-never-considers-an-object-as-weak/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [“People with cancer are not put in prisons or mental hospitals or homeless shelters like others who are considered deviant, although there are many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-boyer/people-with-cancer-are-not-put-in-prisons-or-mental-hospitals-or/) Anne Boyer > [Compassion and pity are not the same: pity is looking down on someone, feeling sorry for them and offering nothing; compassion is seeing their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasinda-wilder/compassion-and-pity-are-not-the-same-pity-is-looking-down-on-someone/) [Jasinda Wilder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasinda-wilder/) > [Compassion and pity are very different. Whereas compassion reflects the yearning of the heart to merge and take on some of the suffering, pity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/compassion-and-pity-are-very-different-whereas-compassion-reflects/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [It seems to me, that if people only knew how hard it was for me to endure life, they would find it easier to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ivo-andri/it-seems-to-me-that-if-people-only-knew-how-hard-it-was-for-me-to/) [Ivo Andric](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ivo-andri/) > [“The vilest of men and the wickedest of women likewise may do good from time to time, for love and compassion and pity may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-r-r-martin/the-vilest-of-men-and-the-wickedest-of-women-likewise-may-do-good/) [George R.R. Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-r-r-martin/) > [If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-of-assisi/if-you-have-men-who-will-exclude-any-of-god-s-creatures-from-the/) [Francis of Assisi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-of-assisi/) > [“For indeed whatsoever proceeds from the gods, deserves respect for their worth and excellency; and whatsoever proceeds from men, as they are our kinsmen,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-aurelius/for-indeed-whatsoever-proceeds-from-the-gods-deserves-respect-for/) [Marcus Aurelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-aurelius/) > [“She lacks our ability to see the future. Her powers are destruction, not prophecy. I’m sure had she known he would one day threaten…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/she-lacks-our-ability-to-see-the-future-her-powers-are-destruction/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When we call something unfair or indecent or unconscionable or evil, when we speak of mercy and pity and compassion, those words have meaning,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-scully/when-we-call-something-unfair-or-indecent-or-unconscionable-or-evil/) [Matthew Scully](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-scully/) > [There are two kinds of pity. One, the weak and sentimental kind, which is really no more than the heart's impatience to be rid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-zweig/there-are-two-kinds-of-pity-one-the-weak-and-sentimental-kind-which/) [Stefan Zweig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-zweig/) > [From looking at your neighbor and realizing his true significance, and that he will die, pity and compassion will arise in you for him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/from-looking-at-your-neighbor-and-realizing-his-true-significance-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise. Become a stranger to need of pity. Or if compassion be freely given out, take only enough. Stop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-walker/expect-nothing-live-frugally-on-surprise-become-a-stranger-to-need-of/) [Alice Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-walker/) > [“9:36a    ἰδὼν δὲ τούς ὄχλους ἐσπλαγχνίσθη πεϱὶ αὐτῶν seeing the crowds, his insides were moved with pity for them THE JEWS AND THE GREEKS could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erasmo-leiva/9-36a-seeing-the-crowds-his-insides-were-moved-with-pity-for-them-the/) Erasmo Leiva > [“Our tragedy today is a general and universal physical fear so long sustained by now that we can even bear it. There are no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-faulkner/our-tragedy-today-is-a-general-and-universal-physical-fear-so-long-2/) [William Faulkner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-faulkner/) ## More by Christian Wiman > [I find myself continually falling back into wounds, wishes, terrors I thought I had risen beyond.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/i-find-myself-continually-falling-back-into-wounds-wishes-terrors-i/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“Intellectuals and artists concerned with faith tend to underestimate the radical, inviolable innocence it requires. We read and read, write long, elaborate essays and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/intellectuals-and-artists-concerned-with-faith-tend-to-underestimate/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [Wonder is the precondition for all wisdom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/wonder-is-the-precondition-for-all-wisdom/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [We should be suspicious when God's call conforms so neatly to our own inclinations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/we-should-be-suspicious-when-god-s-call-conforms-so-neatly-to-our-own/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [God is with us, not beyond us, in suffering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/god-is-with-us-not-beyond-us-in-suffering/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“Let us remember...that in the end we go to poetry for one reason, so that we might more fully inhabit our lives and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/let-us-remember-that-in-the-end-we-go-to-poetry-for-one-reason-so/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [To be truly alive is to feel one's ultimate existence within one's daily existence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/to-be-truly-alive-is-to-feel-one-s-ultimate-existence-within-one-s/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [I am a Christian because of that moment on the cross when Jesus, drinking the very dregs of human bitterness, cries out, My God,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/i-am-a-christian-because-of-that-moment-on-the-cross-when-jesus/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [Mandelstam is the sort of poet who comes along very, very rarely. Even the two Russian poets whose work is often linked with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/mandelstam-is-the-sort-of-poet-who-comes-along-very-very-rarely-even/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“How many loves fail because, in an unconscious effort to make our weaknesses more strong, we link with others precisely at those points? How…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/how-many-loves-fail-because-in-an-unconscious-effort-to-make-our/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“It is a strange thing how sometimes merely to talk honestly of God, even if it is only to articulate our feelings of separation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/it-is-a-strange-thing-how-sometimes-merely-to-talk-honestly-of-god/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“Faith cannot save you from the claims of reason, except insofar as it preserves and protects that wonderful, terrible time when reason, if only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/faith-cannot-save-you-from-the-claims-of-reason-except-insofar-as-it/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“part of my enjoyment of life had always been an unconscious assumption of its continuity. Not necessarily a continuity of reality itself—the moment does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/part-of-my-enjoyment-of-life-had-always-been-an-unconscious/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [I suppose I do believe that the greatest art consoles a wound that it creates, that art can give you the capacity to endure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/i-suppose-i-do-believe-that-the-greatest-art-consoles-a-wound-that-it/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [There is nothing more difficult to outgrow than anxieties that have become useful to us, whether as explanations for a life that never quite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/there-is-nothing-more-difficult-to-outgrow-than-anxieties-that-have/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) [Explore all 67 Christian Wiman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) ## More Compassion quotes > [Half the misery of human life might be extinguished if men would alleviate the general curse they lie under by mutual offices of compassion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/half-the-misery-of-human-life-might-be-extinguished-if-men-would/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“I fight with love and kindness as my weapons and compassion as my defense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/i-fight-with-love-and-kindness-as-my-weapons-and-compassion-as-my/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“If you refuse to use physical force, then you will be at the mercy of your oppressor!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/segun-magbagbeola/if-you-refuse-to-use-physical-force-then-you-will-be-at-the-mercy-of/) Segun Magbagbeola > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I could not have slept tonight if I had left that helpless little creature to perish on the ground.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/i-could-not-have-slept-tonight-if-i-had-left-that-helpless-little/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [We are puzzled and bewildered whenever we see suffering in this world because we have become accustomed to the mercy and the long-suffering of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul/we-are-puzzled-and-bewildered-whenever-we-see-suffering-in-this-world/) [R. C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [“Helpers in every corner, helpers in every hood. That's how we'll make the move, to reform from rude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/helpers-in-every-corner-helpers-in-every-hood-that-s-how-we-ll-make/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc) You’d better be glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/may-the-gods-have-mercy-on-whoever-pisses-them-off-because-zarek-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“la ilaha ilallah muhammadun rasulullah, alaihi salatullah wa alihi wal ahibba "shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/talib-al-habib/la-ilaha-ilallah-muhammadun-rasulullah-alaihi-salatullah-wa-alihi-wal/) Talib al Habib > [The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-darwin/the-love-for-all-living-creatures-is-the-most-noble-attribute-of-man/) [Charles Darwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-darwin/) [Browse all 9,892 Compassion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The sick person becomes very adept at distinguishing between compassion and pity. 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