--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you originally approved this trip…" description: "\"“When you originally approved this trip, what did you have in mind?” He visibly relaxed as he sat back in his chair and brought the top of his fingers ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a4/chris-voss-5746_body-language_when-you-originally-approved-this-trip-w_1168351.jpg" --- # When you originally approved this trip, what did you have… ![“When you originally approved this trip, what did you have in mind?” He visibly relaxed as he sat back in his chair and brought the top of his fingers and thumbs together in the shape of a steeple. Generally this is a body language that means the person feels superior and in charge. “Listen,” he…” quote by Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a4/chris-voss-5746_body-language_when-you-originally-approved-this-trip-w_1168351.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a4/chris-voss-5746_body-language_when-you-originally-approved-this-trip-w_1168351.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a4/chris-voss-5746_body-language_when-you-originally-approved-this-trip-w_1168351.jpg) > ““When you originally approved this trip, what did you have in mind?” He visibly relaxed as he sat back in his chair and brought the top of his fingers and thumbs together in the shape of a steeple. Generally this is a body language that means the person feels superior and in charge. “Listen,” he said, “just make sure you brief everyone when you get back.” That question, calibrated to acknowledge his power and nudge him toward explaining himself, gave him the illusion of control. And it got me just what I wanted.”” [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A calibrated question acknowledges authority while subtly directing the conversation to reveal needed information. **In simple terms:** Ask a question that flatters but also steers the other person. Key Takeaway Use strategic questioning to gain insight. Themes communication influence power dynamics negotiation Mood strategic confident Type tactical inspirational When to use this quote - Business meetings - team debriefs - client negotiations - leadership coaching Key Concepts Psychology of authority calibrated questioning control illusion Questions to Reflect On - How can you balance respect and persuasion? - When might this tactic backfire? A Different Perspective If the person feels manipulated, they may shut down. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Body language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body-language/) [Illusion of control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/illusion-of-control/) [Mind Visibly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind-visibly-3375809/) [Nudge Explaining](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nudge-explaining-3375810/) [Power](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/power/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Trip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trip/) [Visibly Relaxed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/visibly-relaxed-3375811/) ## Related quotes > [“Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check,” Dutton says. “Without it, there’d be no limits.” Giving your counterpart the illusion of control…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/unbelief-is-the-friction-that-keeps-persuasion-in-check-dutton-says/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“ask for help with one of the greatest-of-all-time calibrated questions: “How am I supposed to do that?” The critical part of this approach is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/ask-for-help-with-one-of-the-greatest-of-all-time-calibrated/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Yes,” her boss responded, “one for us and one for the customer.” “I’m sorry, so you are saying that the client is asking for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/yes-her-boss-responded-one-for-us-and-one-for-the-customer-i-m-sorry/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“An illusion of control is still only an illusion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-duran/an-illusion-of-control-is-still-only-an-illusion/) [Meredith Duran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-duran/) > [Heavy heart with a mind full of thoughts of doubt and sadness. 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But even then it is difficult, once we think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/the-first-step-in-battling-the-illusion-of-control-is-to-be-aware-of/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Many of us rely on our own illusion of control. But when God makes it known to you that you're not the one steering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yasmin-mogahed/many-of-us-rely-on-our-own-illusion-of-control-but-when-god-makes-it/) [Yasmin Mogahed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yasmin-mogahed/) ## More by Chris Voss > [“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/most-of-the-time-you-should-be-using-the-positive-playful-voice-it-s/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/by-repeating-back-what-people-say-you-trigger-this-mirroring-instinct/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Every case is new. 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They’ll usually give a longer answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/when-you-phrase-a-label-as-a-neutral-statement-of-understanding-it/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-are-essentially-three-voice-tones-available-to-negotiators-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/instead-of-addressing-his-grumpy-behavior-you-acknowledge-his-sadness/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' 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Do you love me? why do you blush look away and say no?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-rambharack/whatever-questions-i-ask-will-you-give-me-an-honest-answer-do-you/) [Glen Rambharack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-rambharack/) > [“5 Tips for Mirroring Others 1. Body language. When they smile, you smile. When they lean back in their chair, you lean back in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/5-tips-for-mirroring-others-1-body-language-when-they-smile-you-smile/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [When you play somebody, you pick up a lot of their gestures, his voice, the way he speaks, his body language. You don't often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-loggia/when-you-play-somebody-you-pick-up-a-lot-of-their-gestures-his-voice/) [Robert Loggia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-loggia/) > [Part of the reason why I love to operate is because I find that so much of what we do is instinctual. 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Ndugu yangu, onesha lugha ya mwili kuonesha…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enock-maregesi/unapokutana-na-mtu-kisha-mtu-huyo-haoneshi-dalili-yoyote-ya-kutaka/) [Enock Maregesi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enock-maregesi/) [Browse all 383 Body language quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body-language/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When you originally approved this trip, what did you have in mind?” He visibly relaxed as he sat back in his chair and brought the top of his fingers and thumbs together in the shape of a steeple. Generally this is a body language that means the person feels superior and in charge. “Listen,” he said, “just make sure you brief everyone when you get back.” That question, calibrated to acknowledge his power and nudge him toward explaining himself, gave him the illusion of control. 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