--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In any bare-knuckle bargaining session…" description: "\"“In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an enemy. The person across t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_in-any-bare-knuckle-bargaining-session-t_2310428.jpg" --- # In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital… ![“In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an enemy. The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional…” quote by Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_in-any-bare-knuckle-bargaining-session-t_2310428.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_in-any-bare-knuckle-bargaining-session-t_2310428.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_in-any-bare-knuckle-bargaining-session-t_2310428.jpg) > ““In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an enemy. The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation. Punching”” [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Effective negotiation treats the counterpart as a partner in solving a problem, not as an adversary, preventing emotional escalation and fostering collaboration. **In simple terms:** Treat the other side as a problem‑solver, not an enemy. Key Takeaway Focus on the issue, not the person. Themes collaboration emotional control problem solving Mood calm strategic Type practical educational When to use this quote - business deals - diplomatic talks - team meetings - mediations - customer service Key Concepts conflict resolution psychology communication strategy Questions to Reflect On - How can you shift perception of the counterpart? - What techniques keep emotions in check during tense talks? A Different Perspective People may still view opponents as enemies despite advice. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Avoiding Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/avoiding-emotional-1677300/) [Knuckle Bargaining](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knuckle-bargaining-5485340/) [Negotiation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation/) [Negotiation Punching](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation-punching-5485338/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Toxic Negotiation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toxic-negotiation-5485339/) ## Related quotes > [“Soon I began to realize that cultural camouflage also obscured the universality of emotional process in institutions. For example, frequently, the leaders of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edwin-h-friedman/soon-i-began-to-realize-that-cultural-camouflage-also-obscured-the/) [Edwin H. Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edwin-h-friedman/) > [A lot of problems stem from a desire to avoid discomfort. For example, people who fear failure often avoid new challenges in an effort…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-morin/a-lot-of-problems-stem-from-a-desire-to-avoid-discomfort-for-example/) [Amy Morin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-morin/) > [“The kidnapper who was negotiating with Julie seemed extremely perplexed by her persistent questions, and he kept asking for time to think. That slowed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-kidnapper-who-was-negotiating-with-julie-seemed-extremely/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/notice-we-said-it-sounds-like-and-not-i-m-hearing-that-that-s-because/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/here-are-some-other-great-standbys-that-i-use-in-almost-every/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-downs-hijacking-case-came-to-epitomize-everything-not-to-do-in-a/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [As a politician - particularly as a politician in a coalition - you quickly realise that compromise is a part of the game. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-davey/as-a-politician-particularly-as-a-politician-in-a-coalition-you/) [Edward Davey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-davey/) > [A lasting relationship consists of the 3 C's: Commitment. Communication. Compromise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/a-lasting-relationship-consists-of-the-3-c-s-commitment-communication/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [The human spirit will not invest itself in a compromise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-fritz/the-human-spirit-will-not-invest-itself-in-a-compromise/) [Robert Fritz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-fritz/) > [Donald Trump so far is sending a signal that he's going to run the government like his business and maybe that's going to work.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-o-reilly/donald-trump-so-far-is-sending-a-signal-that-he-s-going-to-run-the/) [Bill O'Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-o-reilly/) > [“All the major players were our clients. I had handled the conflicting demands, pacified the volatile tempers, and anticipated and circumvented the irrational tantrums.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juliann-garey/all-the-major-players-were-our-clients-i-had-handled-the-conflicting/) [Juliann Garey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juliann-garey/) > [“Duty is a done deal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/duty-is-a-done-deal/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [We're always willing to look at ways NAFTA can work better. But it's a fine line between looking at ways to make it work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-harper/we-re-always-willing-to-look-at-ways-nafta-can-work-better-but-it-s-a/) [Stephen Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-harper/) > [“Simple answers, reductionist politics, are the most prone to compromise, to saying we’re addressing the essential issue and all that other stuff can slide.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-allison/simple-answers-reductionist-politics-are-the-most-prone-to-compromise/) [Dorothy Allison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-allison/) > [A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ludwig-erhard/a-compromise-is-the-art-of-dividing-a-cake-in-such-a-way-that/) [Ludwig Erhard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ludwig-erhard/) ## More by Chris Voss > [“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/most-of-the-time-you-should-be-using-the-positive-playful-voice-it-s/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/by-repeating-back-what-people-say-you-trigger-this-mirroring-instinct/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-case-is-new-we-must-let-what-we-know-our-known-knowns-guide-us/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-downs-hijacking-case-came-to-epitomize-everything-not-to-do-in-a/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/in-any-interaction-it-pleases-us-to-feel-that-the-other-side-is/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/here-are-some-other-great-standbys-that-i-use-in-almost-every/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/if-i-just-ask-for-a-volunteer-my-students-sit-on-their-hands-and-look/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/when-you-phrase-a-label-as-a-neutral-statement-of-understanding-it/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-are-essentially-three-voice-tones-available-to-negotiators-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/instead-of-addressing-his-grumpy-behavior-you-acknowledge-his-sadness/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/notice-we-said-it-sounds-like-and-not-i-m-hearing-that-that-s-because/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/what-were-needed-were-simple-psychological-tactics-and-strategies/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“they should be teased out. Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/they-should-be-teased-out-labeling-is-a-helpful-tactic-in-de/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. Performing an accusation audit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/list-the-worst-things-that-the-other-party-could-say-about-you-and/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There’s one powerful way to quiet the voice in your head and the voice in their head at the same time: treat two schizophrenics…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-s-one-powerful-way-to-quiet-the-voice-in-your-head-and-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) [Explore all 94 Chris Voss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## More Negotiation quotes > [A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ludwig-erhard/a-compromise-is-the-art-of-dividing-a-cake-in-such-a-way-that/) [Ludwig Erhard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ludwig-erhard/) > [“Simple answers, reductionist politics, are the most prone to compromise, to saying we’re addressing the essential issue and all that other stuff can slide.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-allison/simple-answers-reductionist-politics-are-the-most-prone-to-compromise/) [Dorothy Allison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-allison/) > [We're always willing to look at ways NAFTA can work better. But it's a fine line between looking at ways to make it work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-harper/we-re-always-willing-to-look-at-ways-nafta-can-work-better-but-it-s-a/) [Stephen Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-harper/) > [“Duty is a done deal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/duty-is-a-done-deal/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [“All the major players were our clients. I had handled the conflicting demands, pacified the volatile tempers, and anticipated and circumvented the irrational tantrums.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juliann-garey/all-the-major-players-were-our-clients-i-had-handled-the-conflicting/) [Juliann Garey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juliann-garey/) > [Donald Trump so far is sending a signal that he's going to run the government like his business and maybe that's going to work.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-o-reilly/donald-trump-so-far-is-sending-a-signal-that-he-s-going-to-run-the/) [Bill O'Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-o-reilly/) > [The human spirit will not invest itself in a compromise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-fritz/the-human-spirit-will-not-invest-itself-in-a-compromise/) [Robert Fritz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-fritz/) > [A lasting relationship consists of the 3 C's: Commitment. Communication. Compromise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/a-lasting-relationship-consists-of-the-3-c-s-commitment-communication/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [As a politician - particularly as a politician in a coalition - you quickly realise that compromise is a part of the game. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-davey/as-a-politician-particularly-as-a-politician-in-a-coalition-you/) [Edward Davey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-davey/) > [When you give your 100% to your compromises then they become sacrifices… And sacrifices never hurt us,they give us a smile on our face,a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/when-you-give-your-100-to-your-compromises-then-they-become/) [Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/) > [You don't bargain with terrorists. You don't appease terrorists. And anybody who believes that this is about something we've done has to ask themselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chertoff/you-don-t-bargain-with-terrorists-you-don-t-appease-terrorists-and/) [Michael Chertoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chertoff/) > [“Shortly before we closed the deal, Randy Michaels and Terry Jacobs, who were running Jacor, came to me to finance the acquisition of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-zell/shortly-before-we-closed-the-deal-randy-michaels-and-terry-jacobs-who/) [Sam Zell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-zell/) > ['Fair' is, like, this incredibly overused term in negotiations: 'I just want what's fair.' 'What's the fair market price?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-voss/fair-is-like-this-incredibly-overused-term-in-negotiations-i-just/) [Christopher Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-voss/) > [The Fundamental Principle that governs - or ought to govern -human affairs if we wish to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, or pointless utopias, is negotiation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/the-fundamental-principle-that-governs-or-ought-to-govern-human/) [Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/) > [Negotiation is often described as the art of letting the other side have your way. You have to give the other side a chance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-voss/negotiation-is-often-described-as-the-art-of-letting-the-other-side/) [Christopher Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-voss/) [Browse all 1,728 Negotiation quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an enemy. The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation. 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