--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Every negotiation should start with “No" description: "\"“Every negotiation should start with “No”\" — Chris Voss" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg" --- # Every negotiation should start with “No ![“Every negotiation should start with “No” quote by Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg) > ““Every negotiation should start with “No”” [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Negotiations begin by establishing a firm boundary, allowing the other party to reveal true intentions. **In simple terms:** Start with “No” to uncover real needs. Key Takeaway Use “No” to clarify positions. Themes negotiation boundary setting communication strategy Mood strategic pragmatic Type tactical instructional When to use this quote - business deals - conflict resolution - personal relationships - sales pitches Key Concepts behavioral economics psychological anchoring Questions to Reflect On - When is “No” counter? - How to transition from “No” to agreement? A Different Perspective Overemphasis on “No” may stall dialogue. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Diplomat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/diplomat/) [Negotiation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation/) [Negotiation Start](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation-start-2791578/) [Start](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/start/) ## Related quotes > [“Saying “No” gives the speaker the feeling of safety, security, and control. You use a question that prompts a “No” answer, and your counterpart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/saying-no-gives-the-speaker-the-feeling-of-safety-security-and/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [You aren't going to be successful as a diplomat if you don't understand the strategic context in which you are actually negotiating. It is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/condoleezza-rice/you-aren-t-going-to-be-successful-as-a-diplomat-if-you-don-t/) [Condoleezza Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/condoleezza-rice/) > [“The kidnapper who was negotiating with Julie seemed extremely perplexed by her persistent questions, and he kept asking for time to think. That slowed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-kidnapper-who-was-negotiating-with-julie-seemed-extremely/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/notice-we-said-it-sounds-like-and-not-i-m-hearing-that-that-s-because/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/here-are-some-other-great-standbys-that-i-use-in-almost-every/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-downs-hijacking-case-came-to-epitomize-everything-not-to-do-in-a/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“When the world says “no” it means a “yes”.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sumedha-mahajan/when-the-world-says-no-it-means-a-yes/) [Sumedha Mahajan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sumedha-mahajan/) > [“Just remember that every “yes” is actually a “no” to something else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hank-reardon/just-remember-that-every-yes-is-actually-a-no-to-something-else/) [Hank Reardon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hank-reardon/) > [a diplomat ... is not worthy of the name unless he can say 'no' and make the other person like it - or at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margery-wilson/a-diplomat-is-not-worthy-of-the-name-unless-he-can-say-no-and-make/) [Margery Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margery-wilson/) > [Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn't have the power to say yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-roosevelt/never-allow-a-person-to-tell-you-no-who-doesn-t-have-the-power-to-say/) [Eleanor Roosevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-roosevelt/) > [“You don't have to say yes to everything, you know. It's okay to say no.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-gurtler/you-don-t-have-to-say-yes-to-everything-you-know-it-s-okay-to-say-no/) [Janet Gurtler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-gurtler/) > [I know firsthand from my experience working counterintelligence investigations for the FBI that kicking a diplomat out of the country is no small thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asha-rangappa/i-know-firsthand-from-my-experience-working-counterintelligence/) [Asha Rangappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asha-rangappa/) > [In truth, the degree of anyone's success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/in-truth-the-degree-of-anyone-s-success-depends-on-how-often-they-can/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [Too many of us fail to fulfill our needs because we say no rather than yes, or perhaps later in life, yes when we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-glasser/too-many-of-us-fail-to-fulfill-our-needs-because-we-say-no-rather/) [William Glasser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-glasser/) > [How much more comfortable it is to say 'Yes, and...' than 'Yes, but...'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-fagg/how-much-more-comfortable-it-is-to-say-yes-and-than-yes-but/) [Lawrence Fagg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-fagg/) ## More by Chris Voss > [“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/most-of-the-time-you-should-be-using-the-positive-playful-voice-it-s/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/by-repeating-back-what-people-say-you-trigger-this-mirroring-instinct/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-case-is-new-we-must-let-what-we-know-our-known-knowns-guide-us/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-downs-hijacking-case-came-to-epitomize-everything-not-to-do-in-a/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/in-any-interaction-it-pleases-us-to-feel-that-the-other-side-is/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/here-are-some-other-great-standbys-that-i-use-in-almost-every/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/if-i-just-ask-for-a-volunteer-my-students-sit-on-their-hands-and-look/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/when-you-phrase-a-label-as-a-neutral-statement-of-understanding-it/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-are-essentially-three-voice-tones-available-to-negotiators-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/instead-of-addressing-his-grumpy-behavior-you-acknowledge-his-sadness/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/notice-we-said-it-sounds-like-and-not-i-m-hearing-that-that-s-because/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/what-were-needed-were-simple-psychological-tactics-and-strategies/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“they should be teased out. Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/they-should-be-teased-out-labeling-is-a-helpful-tactic-in-de/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. Performing an accusation audit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/list-the-worst-things-that-the-other-party-could-say-about-you-and/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There’s one powerful way to quiet the voice in your head and the voice in their head at the same time: treat two schizophrenics…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-s-one-powerful-way-to-quiet-the-voice-in-your-head-and-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) [Explore all 94 Chris Voss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## More Diplomat quotes > [How much more comfortable it is to say 'Yes, and...' than 'Yes, but...'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-fagg/how-much-more-comfortable-it-is-to-say-yes-and-than-yes-but/) [Lawrence Fagg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-fagg/) > [Too many of us fail to fulfill our needs because we say no rather than yes, or perhaps later in life, yes when we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-glasser/too-many-of-us-fail-to-fulfill-our-needs-because-we-say-no-rather/) [William Glasser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-glasser/) > [In truth, the degree of anyone's success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/in-truth-the-degree-of-anyone-s-success-depends-on-how-often-they-can/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [I know firsthand from my experience working counterintelligence investigations for the FBI that kicking a diplomat out of the country is no small thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asha-rangappa/i-know-firsthand-from-my-experience-working-counterintelligence/) [Asha Rangappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asha-rangappa/) > [“You don't have to say yes to everything, you know. It's okay to say no.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-gurtler/you-don-t-have-to-say-yes-to-everything-you-know-it-s-okay-to-say-no/) [Janet Gurtler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-gurtler/) > [Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn't have the power to say yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-roosevelt/never-allow-a-person-to-tell-you-no-who-doesn-t-have-the-power-to-say/) [Eleanor Roosevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-roosevelt/) > [a diplomat ... is not worthy of the name unless he can say 'no' and make the other person like it - or at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margery-wilson/a-diplomat-is-not-worthy-of-the-name-unless-he-can-say-no-and-make/) [Margery Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margery-wilson/) > [“Just remember that every “yes” is actually a “no” to something else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hank-reardon/just-remember-that-every-yes-is-actually-a-no-to-something-else/) [Hank Reardon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hank-reardon/) > [“When the world says “no” it means a “yes”.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sumedha-mahajan/when-the-world-says-no-it-means-a-yes/) [Sumedha Mahajan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sumedha-mahajan/) > [“The word 'NO' is the best motivation there is for the storyteller in you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-k-kuykendall/the-word-no-is-the-best-motivation-there-is-for-the-storyteller-in-you/) [A.K. Kuykendall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-k-kuykendall/) > [Your capacity to say "No" determines your capacity to say "Yes" to greater things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-stanley-jones/your-capacity-to-say-no-determines-your-capacity-to-say-yes-to/) [E. Stanley Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-stanley-jones/) > [I majored in political communications, so I intended to be a diplomat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-ramirez/i-majored-in-political-communications-so-i-intended-to-be-a-diplomat/) [Edgar Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-ramirez/) > [Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hanks/saying-no-to-something-is-actually-much-more-powerful-than-saying-yes/) [Tom Hanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hanks/) > [My father was a diplomat and served as Pakistan's ambassador to 14 countries. I was born in London and grew up there and studied…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adnan-sami/my-father-was-a-diplomat-and-served-as-pakistan-s-ambassador-to-14/) [Adnan Sami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adnan-sami/) > [“Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer a lifetime of longing provided we both kept this little Ping-Pong game going: not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer-a-lifetime-of-longing/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Browse all 340 Diplomat quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/diplomat/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Every negotiation should start with “No”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Chris Voss" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-negotiation-should-start-with-no/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Diplomat" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-negotiation-should-start-with-no/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c07/chris-voss-5746_negotiation_every-negotiation-should-start-with-no-1_1899273.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every negotiation should start with “No” — Chris Voss", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Chris Voss", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Every negotiation should start with “No”", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-negotiation-should-start-with-no/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-negotiation-should-start-with-no/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```