--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s…" description: "\"“don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that y..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg" --- # don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what… ![“don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want;” quote by Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg) > ““don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want;”” [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Focus on underlying interests rather than stated demands to uncover true motivations and create win‑win solutions. **In simple terms:** Look beyond what people say to why they want it. Key Takeaway Seek the real need behind the request. Themes negotiation empathy problem solving Mood strategic analytical Type practical insightful When to use this quote - business deals - personal conflicts - mediations - sales talks Key Concepts interest‑based bargaining psychology communication Questions to Reflect On - What hidden need could be driving the other side’s request? - How can you ask questions that reveal those needs? A Different Perspective People may hide true motives, making it hard to identify interests. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Asking Instead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking-instead-1766189/) [Focus Interests](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/focus-interests-1766186/) [Instead Focus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instead-focus-535032/) [Interests Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/interests-asking-1766188/) [Position Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/position-asking-1766187/) ## Related quotes > [“I don't spend a lot of time asking "WHY?" Instead I focus on what I should do now or how I should react." (p.180)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-dixon-the-key-to-the-kingdom/i-don-t-spend-a-lot-of-time-asking-why-instead-i-focus-on-what-i/) [Jeff Dixon-The Key To The Kingdom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-dixon-the-key-to-the-kingdom/) > [We must focus on our interests and objectives without falling into the game of victimization and accusation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-mendoza/we-must-focus-on-our-interests-and-objectives-without-falling-into/) [Jose Mendoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-mendoza/) > [One analysis found that every dollar in the opening offer translates to about 50 cents more in the final agreement. So put the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-bennett/one-analysis-found-that-every-dollar-in-the-opening-offer-translates/) [Jessica Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-bennett/) > [It's great to be in the position of asking questions and not having to answer questions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-bader-ginsburg/it-s-great-to-be-in-the-position-of-asking-questions-and-not-having/) [Ruth Bader Ginsburg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-bader-ginsburg/) > [Avoid the spectacle of technology and instead focus on technology and science solving real problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/om-malik/avoid-the-spectacle-of-technology-and-instead-focus-on-technology-and/) [Om Malik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/om-malik/) > [“Do not focus on money, instead focus on a problem that needs to be solved for the world..money will follow you as a bi-product.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/manoj-arora/do-not-focus-on-money-instead-focus-on-a-problem-that-needs-to-be/) [Manoj Arora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/manoj-arora/) > [Looking at that one bad thing he's done instead on focus on all the right he ever done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amera/looking-at-that-one-bad-thing-he-s-done-instead-on-focus-on-all-the/) [Amera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amera/) > [“life is cyclical and the best way to stay focused is to ignore the swings and instead focus on the long run.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-schiller/life-is-cyclical-and-the-best-way-to-stay-focused-is-to-ignore-the/) [Vivian Schiller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-schiller/) > [Do not take yearly results too seriously. 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Instead, if I focus on Christ with thanksgiving, people see Him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-chan/people-see-only-my-actions-instead-if-i-focus-on-christ-with/) [Francis Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-chan/) > [Avoid results-by volume approach, instead focus on few critically important but uncomfortable actions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-ferriss/avoid-results-by-volume-approach-instead-focus-on-few-critically/) [Tim Ferriss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-ferriss/) > [“never be sad abot the past, it is alredy hapened and you canot change it, instead, focus on wat truly matters: being sad abot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jomny-sun/never-be-sad-abot-the-past-it-is-alredy-hapened-and-you-canot-change/) [Jomny Sun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jomny-sun/) > [Don't worry about what you may loose. Instead focus on what you want to gain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/don-t-worry-about-what-you-may-loose-instead-focus-on-what-you-want/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [Try not to focus so much on needing someone, instead focus on being the one someone needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/try-not-to-focus-so-much-on-needing-someone-instead-focus-on-being/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Chris Voss > [“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/most-of-the-time-you-should-be-using-the-positive-playful-voice-it-s/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/by-repeating-back-what-people-say-you-trigger-this-mirroring-instinct/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/every-case-is-new-we-must-let-what-we-know-our-known-knowns-guide-us/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/the-downs-hijacking-case-came-to-epitomize-everything-not-to-do-in-a/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/in-any-interaction-it-pleases-us-to-feel-that-the-other-side-is/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/here-are-some-other-great-standbys-that-i-use-in-almost-every/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/if-i-just-ask-for-a-volunteer-my-students-sit-on-their-hands-and-look/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. 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Performing an accusation audit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/list-the-worst-things-that-the-other-party-could-say-about-you-and/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [“There’s one powerful way to quiet the voice in your head and the voice in their head at the same time: treat two schizophrenics…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/there-s-one-powerful-way-to-quiet-the-voice-in-your-head-and-the/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) [Explore all 94 Chris Voss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) ## More Instead Focus quotes > [Try not to focus so much on needing someone, instead focus on being the one someone needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/try-not-to-focus-so-much-on-needing-someone-instead-focus-on-being/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Don't worry about what you may loose. 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Instead, if I focus on Christ with thanksgiving, people see Him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-chan/people-see-only-my-actions-instead-if-i-focus-on-christ-with/) [Francis Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-chan/) > [ Charlie \[Munger\] and I are not big fans of resumes. Instead, we focus on brains, passion and integrity. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-buffett/charlie-munger-and-i-are-not-big-fans-of-resumes-instead-we-focus-on/) [Warren Buffett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-buffett/) > [Do not take yearly results too seriously. Instead, focus on four or five-year averages.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-buffett/do-not-take-yearly-results-too-seriously-instead-focus-on-four-or/) [Warren Buffett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-buffett/) > [“life is cyclical and the best way to stay focused is to ignore the swings and instead focus on the long run.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-schiller/life-is-cyclical-and-the-best-way-to-stay-focused-is-to-ignore-the/) [Vivian Schiller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-schiller/) > [Looking at that one bad thing he's done instead on focus on all the right he ever done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amera/looking-at-that-one-bad-thing-he-s-done-instead-on-focus-on-all-the/) [Amera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amera/) > [“I don't spend a lot of time asking "WHY?" Instead I focus on what I should do now or how I should react." (p.180)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-dixon-the-key-to-the-kingdom/i-don-t-spend-a-lot-of-time-asking-why-instead-i-focus-on-what-i/) [Jeff Dixon-The Key To The Kingdom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-dixon-the-key-to-the-kingdom/) > [“Do not focus on money, instead focus on a problem that needs to be solved for the world..money will follow you as a bi-product.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/manoj-arora/do-not-focus-on-money-instead-focus-on-a-problem-that-needs-to-be/) [Manoj Arora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/manoj-arora/) > [Avoid the spectacle of technology and instead focus on technology and science solving real problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/om-malik/avoid-the-spectacle-of-technology-and-instead-focus-on-technology-and/) [Om Malik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/om-malik/) > [If you focus on the obstacles, then you give them more power. Instead focus on your purpose, on your most authentic and fundamental intentions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-marston/if-you-focus-on-the-obstacles-then-you-give-them-more-power-instead/) [Ralph Marston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-marston/) > [Forget about finding your passion. Instead, focus on finding big problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-cuban/forget-about-finding-your-passion-instead-focus-on-finding-big/) [Mark Cuban](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-cuban/) > [Stop focusing on needing someone, instead focus on being someone needed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheckachio16/stop-focusing-on-needing-someone-instead-focus-on-being-someone-needed/) [Sheckachio16](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheckachio16/) [Browse all 19 Instead Focus quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instead-focus-535032/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want;”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Chris Voss" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s-position-what-they-re-asking/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Instead Focus" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s-position-what-they-re-asking/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/chris-voss-5746_quote_don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s_959626.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their…” — Chris Voss", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Chris Voss", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“don’t get wrapped up in the...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s-position-what-they-re-asking/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/don-t-get-wrapped-up-in-the-other-side-s-position-what-they-re-asking/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```