--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I'd finally come to understand what it…" description: "\"I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted to find was a way in.\" — Cheryl Strayed" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png" --- # I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a… ![“I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted to find was a way in.” quote by Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png) > “I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted to find was a way in.” [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The desire to escape was actually a longing to find a way in, revealing a misinterpretation of one's true goal. **In simple terms:** Wanted an escape but actually sought a way in. Key Takeaway Clarify true motivations before acting. Themes self‑discovery goal setting inner conflict Mood introspective thoughtful Type philosophical advice When to use this quote - career change - personal crisis - creative projects Key Concepts identity purpose direction Questions to Reflect On - What does “a way in” mean for you? - How can you differentiate between avoidance and pursuit? A Different Perspective Desire for escape can mask deeper needs. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Yearning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yearning/) ## Related quotes > [“I like the sea: we understand one another. It is always yearning, sighing for something it cannot have; so am I.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-garbo/i-like-the-sea-we-understand-one-another-it-is-always-yearning/) [Greta Garbo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-garbo/) > [“Of course, heroin could be had there too, I thought. But the thing was, I didn’t want it. Maybe I never really had. I’d…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/of-course-heroin-could-be-had-there-too-i-thought-but-the-thing-was-i/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [There are times when personal experience keeps us from reaching the mountain top and so we let it go because the weight of it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bell-hooks/there-are-times-when-personal-experience-keeps-us-from-reaching-the/) [Bell Hooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bell-hooks/) > [Up to now I've done everything I've wanted to do the way I wanted to do myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hasil-adkins/up-to-now-i-ve-done-everything-i-ve-wanted-to-do-the-way-i-wanted-to/) [Hasil Adkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hasil-adkins/) > ['Wanted' is about a girl I was friends with, but at the time it was teetering on the edge of something more. I wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hunter-hayes/wanted-is-about-a-girl-i-was-friends-with-but-at-the-time-it-was/) [Hunter Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hunter-hayes/) > [“If God had wanted you to be anything other than who and what you are, He would have made you that way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-laureano/if-god-had-wanted-you-to-be-anything-other-than-who-and-what-you-are/) [Carla Laureano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carla-laureano/) > [You never wanted me the way I needed you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/you-never-wanted-me-the-way-i-needed-you/) Patience > [“up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/up-into-my-face-promising-that-there-was-no-one-in-the-world-she-so/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derek-landy/her-parents-wanted-her-to-find-her-own-way-in-life-that-s-what-they-d/) [Derek Landy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derek-landy/) > [I was in 'Fiesta,' but only because Aaliyah said she wanted me to do it that way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damon-dash/i-was-in-fiesta-but-only-because-aaliyah-said-she-wanted-me-to-do-it/) [Damon Dash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damon-dash/) > [“No one was truly awake. No one was truly alive. They must have wanted it that way. Checking”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-howey/no-one-was-truly-awake-no-one-was-truly-alive-they-must-have-wanted/) [Hugh Howey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-howey/) > [I was a shy kid, I would never ask for what I wanted. I would go out of my way to avoid confrontation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-taylor/i-was-a-shy-kid-i-would-never-ask-for-what-i-wanted-i-would-go-out-of/) [Josh Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-taylor/) > [I had all my own teeth and I wanted to keep it that way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-glavine/i-had-all-my-own-teeth-and-i-wanted-to-keep-it-that-way/) [Tom Glavine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-glavine/) > [“I wanted to find a way to share it with him, show him there was more in the world than blood and shadow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-rose-clarke/i-wanted-to-find-a-way-to-share-it-with-him-show-him-there-was-more/) [Cassandra Rose Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-rose-clarke/) > [“He wanted her now in a way that was barely human.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-ranney/he-wanted-her-now-in-a-way-that-was-barely-human/) [Karen Ranney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-ranney/) ## More by Cheryl Strayed > [“She understands that attention is the first and final act of love, and that the ultimate dwindling resource in the human arrangement isn’t cheap…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/she-understands-that-attention-is-the-first-and-final-act-of-love-and/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“The most terrible and beautiful and interesting things happen in life. For some of you, those things have already happened. Whatever happens to you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/the-most-terrible-and-beautiful-and-interesting-things-happen-in-life/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [Of course you want someone special to love you. A majority of the people who write to me inquire about how they can get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/of-course-you-want-someone-special-to-love-you-a-majority-of-the/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [It's still true that literary works by women, gays, and writers of color are often framed as specific, rather than universal, small rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/it-s-still-true-that-literary-works-by-women-gays-and-writers-of/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [My whole life sort of ended when my mom died.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/my-whole-life-sort-of-ended-when-my-mom-died/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/and-you-have-to-do-it-no-matter-what-is-true-no-matter-what-is-hard/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“Don’t listen to those people who suggest you should be “over” your daughter’s death by now. The people who squawk the loudest about such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/don-t-listen-to-those-people-who-suggest-you-should-be-over-your/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“. . . there was the actual doing it, quickly followed by the grim realization of what it meant to do it, followed by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/there-was-the-actual-doing-it-quickly-followed-by-the-grim/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“The sky didn't wonder where it was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/the-sky-didn-t-wonder-where-it-was/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [He was the most ordinary man in all the world, and yet in her memory he'd become luminous, like the prince in a fairy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/he-was-the-most-ordinary-man-in-all-the-world-and-yet-in-her-memory/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It's the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/love-is-our-essential-nutrient-without-it-life-has-little-meaning-it/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“I never believed the boys were angry. I believed they were hurt and anger was the safest manifestation of their sorrow. It was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/i-never-believed-the-boys-were-angry-i-believed-they-were-hurt-and/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“It’s wrong that this is required of you. It’s wrong that your son died. It will always be wrong.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/it-s-wrong-that-this-is-required-of-you-it-s-wrong-that-your-son-died/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“Your ultimatum is simple. It’s fair. And it’s stating your own intentions, not what you hope theirs will be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/your-ultimatum-is-simple-it-s-fair-and-it-s-stating-your-own/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [“We aren't poor," my mother said, again and again. "Because we're rich in love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/we-aren-t-poor-my-mother-said-again-and-again-because-we-re-rich-in/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) [Explore all 450 Cheryl Strayed quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) ## More Desire quotes > [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/) Ted Martinez > [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/) [David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/) > [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/) [John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/) > [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/) [John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/) [Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/) > [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/) [Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/) > [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-deepest-urge-in-human-nature-is-the-desire-to-be-important/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [I have never been in, nor have I had any strong particular desire to be in, what is termed a costume drama, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-have-never-been-in-nor-have-i-had-any-strong-particular-desire-to/) [Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/) > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW : She wanted him too. He could see it in the rapid rise of her breasts. He could smell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emery-lee/from-the-devil-you-know-she-wanted-him-too-he-could-see-it-in-the/) [Emery Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emery-lee/) [Browse all 15,155 Desire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted to find was a way in.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Cheryl Strayed" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-had-been-a-yearning-for-a-way/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Desire" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-had-been-a-yearning-for-a-way/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/611/cheryl-strayed-605_desire_i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-h_2497897.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted…” — Cheryl Strayed", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Cheryl Strayed", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I'd finally come to understand what...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-had-been-a-yearning-for-a-way/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/i-d-finally-come-to-understand-what-it-had-been-a-yearning-for-a-way/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```