--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have told you, reader, that I had…" description: "\"“I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr. Rochester; I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me—..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg" --- # I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr… ![“I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr. Rochester; I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me—because I might pass hours in his presence and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction—because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a…” quote by Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg) > ““I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr. Rochester; I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me—because I might pass hours in his presence and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction—because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her robes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation. I could not unlove him, because I felt sure he would soon marry this very lady—because I read daily in her a proud security in his intentions respecting her—because I witnessed hourly in him a style of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather to be sought than to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its very pride, irresistible. There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances; though much to create despair. Much too, you will think, reader, to engender jealousy, if a woman in my position could presume to be jealous of a woman in Miss Ingram's. But I was not jealous, or very rarely;—the nature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word. Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the feeling.”” [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator cannot stop loving Mr. Rochester despite his neglect and the presence of a rival, feeling a complex mix of affection, frustration, and a subdued jealousy that she cannot label. **In simple terms:** She loves him even though he ignores her and she feels a strange, unlabelled pain. Key Takeaway Accept love’s irrationality while recognizing personal boundaries. Themes love unrequited affection social hierarchy Mood melancholic reflective introspective Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - social expectations - self‑reflection Key Concepts romantic longing self‑worth power dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What does this unlabelled pain reveal about her self‑esteem? - How does societal rank affect personal desire? A Different Perspective Her pain may stem from deeper insecurities beyond jealousy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Beneath Jealousy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beneath-jealousy-5717632/) [Engender Jealousy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/engender-jealousy-5717633/) [Ingram Jealous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ingram-jealous-5717635/) [Jealousy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jealousy/) [Jealousy Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jealousy-woman-2191510/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Mr rochester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mr-rochester/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Told Reader](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/told-reader-6067666/) ## Related quotes > [“There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though much to create despair. Much, too, you will think, reader, to engender…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/there-was-nothing-to-cool-or-banish-love-in-these-circumstances/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite feeling. Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/miss-ingram-was-a-mark-beneath-jealousy-she-was-too-inferior-to/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Without warning, a smooth voice spoke next to her ear- a woman's voice with an American accent. "You're nothing but a skinny, awkward child,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/without-warning-a-smooth-voice-spoke-next-to-her-ear-a-woman-s-voice/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [You don't always have to feel jealousy about a woman or shout at a woman because you hate her or because you love her,and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/you-don-t-always-have-to-feel-jealousy-about-a-woman-or-shout-at-a/) [Kevin McCarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/) > [“When do you wish to go?” “Early to-morrow morning, sir.” “Well, you must have some money; you can’t travel without money, and I daresay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/when-do-you-wish-to-go-early-to-morrow-morning-sir-well-you-must-have/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“And was Mr Rochester now ugly in my eyes?No,reader:gratitude and many associations, all pleasurable and genial,made his face the object I best liked to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/and-was-mr-rochester-now-ugly-in-my-eyes-no-reader-gratitude-and-many/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“And your will shall decide your destiny," he said: "I offer you my hand, my heart, and a share of all my possessions." You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/and-your-will-shall-decide-your-destiny-he-said-i-offer-you-my-hand/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Tell me now, fairy as you are - can't you give me a charm, or a philter, or something of that sort, to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/tell-me-now-fairy-as-you-are-can-t-you-give-me-a-charm-or-a-philter/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“But I don't mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a different mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/but-i-don-t-mean-to-flatter-you-if-you-are-cast-in-a-different-mould/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Diana announced that she would just give me time to get over the honey-moon, and then she would come and see me. 'She had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/diana-announced-that-she-would-just-give-me-time-to-get-over-the/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“The case is very plain before me. In leaving England, I should leave a loved but empty land — Mr. Rochester is not there;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/the-case-is-very-plain-before-me-in-leaving-england-i-should-leave-a/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“What have you been doing during my absence?' 'Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.' 'And getting a good deal paler than you were -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/what-have-you-been-doing-during-my-absence-nothing-particular/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Mr. Rochester : Your gaze is very direct, Miss Eyre. Do you think me handsome? Jane Eyre: No, sir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/mr-rochester-your-gaze-is-very-direct-miss-eyre-do-you-think-me/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Mr. Rochester had again summoned the ladies round him, and was selecting certain of their number to be of his party. “Miss Ingram is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/mr-rochester-had-again-summoned-the-ladies-round-him-and-was/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield - I love it, because I have lived in it a full and delightful life, -momentarily…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-grieve-to-leave-thornfield-i-love-thornfield-i-love-it-because-i/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) ## More by Charlotte Brontë > [When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should - so hard as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/when-we-are-struck-at-without-a-reason-we-should-strike-back-again/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [My God, whose son, as on this night, took on Him the form of man, and for man vouchsafed to suffer and bleed, controls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/my-god-whose-son-as-on-this-night-took-on-him-the-form-of-man-and-for/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“A deal of people, Miss, are for trusting all to Providence; but I say Providence will not dispense with the means, though He often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/a-deal-of-people-miss-are-for-trusting-all-to-providence-but-i-say/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“This night is not calm; the equinox still struggles in its storms. 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You think I have no feelings, and that I can do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/how-dare-i-mrs-reed-how-dare-i-because-it-is-the-truth-you-think-i/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“If men could see us as we really are, they would be a little amazed; but the cleverest, the acutest men are often under…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/if-men-could-see-us-as-we-really-are-they-would-be-a-little-amazed/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/if-all-the-world-hated-you-and-believed-you-wicked-while-your-own/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. With this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/life-appears-to-me-too-short-to-be-spent-in-nursing-animosity-or/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [Poverty, for me, is synonymous with degradation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/poverty-for-me-is-synonymous-with-degradation/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [When his first-born was put into his arms, he could see that the boy had inherited his own eyes, as they once were -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/when-his-first-born-was-put-into-his-arms-he-could-see-that-the-boy/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [Talented people almost always know full well the excellence that is in them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/talented-people-almost-always-know-full-well-the-excellence-that-is/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Not one spark of spirit, not one symptom of resistance, would they have shown till the hand of the Corsican bandit had grasped that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/not-one-spark-of-spirit-not-one-symptom-of-resistance-would-they-have/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“Love can excuse anything except meanness; but meanness kills love, cripples even natural affection; without esteem true love cannot exist.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/love-can-excuse-anything-except-meanness-but-meanness-kills-love/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [I think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it impossible to be conventional with you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-think-you-will-learn-to-be-natural-with-me-as-i-find-it-impossible/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“You are no ruin sir--no lighting-struck tree: you are green and vigorous. Plants will grow about your roots, whether you ask them or not,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/you-are-no-ruin-sir-no-lighting-struck-tree-you-are-green-and/) [Charlotte Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) [Explore all 1,082 Charlotte Brontë quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) ## More Jealousy quotes > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/) [Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/) > [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“He often remembered his dad's admonition that envy was mental theft. If you coveted another man's possessions, Dad said, then you should be willing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/he-often-remembered-his-dad-s-admonition-that-envy-was-mental-theft/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [Being with a jealous person is better than someone who never cares about what you do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-with-a-jealous-person-is-better-than-someone-who-never-cares/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Dont hate me cause ur man want me dont be jealouse cause hes thinking of when he says he loves u dont hate him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ana/dont-hate-me-cause-ur-man-want-me-dont-be-jealouse-cause-hes-thinking/) [Ana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ana/) > [~Haters only Hate things they cant have and the people they cant be. its just a little thing called Jealousy~](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/im-nothing/haters-only-hate-things-they-cant-have-and-the-people-they-cant-be/) [Im Nothing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/im-nothing/) > [“Love is like a box, fair on every side, jealousy is like a triangle, sharp at every corner,miss is like a circle,endless”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nabil-marzuq-khairi/love-is-like-a-box-fair-on-every-side-jealousy-is-like-a-triangle/) [Nabil Marzuq Khairi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nabil-marzuq-khairi/) > [I avoid envy at all costs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claudia-winkleman/i-avoid-envy-at-all-costs/) [Claudia Winkleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claudia-winkleman/) > [But love is different for every person. For some it's hate, for some it's joy, for some it's fear, for some it's jealousy, for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-frey/but-love-is-different-for-every-person-for-some-it-s-hate-for-some-it/) [James Frey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-frey/) > [A real flame of love is a subtle thing. It burns as a will-o'-the-wisp, dancing onward to fairy lands of delight. It roars as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-dreiser/a-real-flame-of-love-is-a-subtle-thing-it-burns-as-a-will-o-the-wisp/) [Theodore Dreiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-dreiser/) > [Men are jealous of every woman, even when they dont have the slightest interest in her themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-neruda/men-are-jealous-of-every-woman-even-when-they-dont-have-the-slightest/) [Jan Neruda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-neruda/) > [avarice breeds envy, a worm that is always gnawing, letting the avaricious enjoy neither their own nor anyone else's good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-catherine-of-siena/avarice-breeds-envy-a-worm-that-is-always-gnawing-letting-the/) [St. Catherine of Siena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-catherine-of-siena/) > [I used to get so jealous if my wife liked another band more than my own. Come to think of it, I still do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-delonge/i-used-to-get-so-jealous-if-my-wife-liked-another-band-more-than-my/) [Tom DeLonge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-delonge/) > [Let your love drive you mad, mad about life, mad about the smell of Jasmine. Mad about the painting that reminds you of one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-minagar/let-your-love-drive-you-mad-mad-about-life-mad-about-the-smell-of/) [Melody Minagar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-minagar/) [Browse all 2,945 Jealousy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jealousy/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr. Rochester; I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me—because I might pass hours in his presence and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction—because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her robes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation. I could not unlove him, because I felt sure he would soon marry this very lady—because I read daily in her a proud security in his intentions respecting her—because I witnessed hourly in him a style of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather to be sought than to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its very pride, irresistible. There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances; though much to create despair. Much too, you will think, reader, to engender jealousy, if a woman in my position could presume to be jealous of a woman in Miss Ingram's. But I was not jealous, or very rarely;—the nature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word. Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the feeling.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Charlotte Brontë" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learned-to-love-mr-rochester-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Jealousy" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learned-to-love-mr-rochester-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bd/charlotte-bronte-144_jealousy_i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learne_3223067.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have told you, reader, that I had learned to love Mr. Rochester; I could not unlove him now, merely…” — Charlotte Brontë", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Charlotte Brontë", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I have told you, reader, that...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learned-to-love-mr-rochester-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/i-have-told-you-reader-that-i-had-learned-to-love-mr-rochester-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```