--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was afraid that men like that could see…" description: "\"“I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me, a thing I dared not admit even to myself: that I had an aching need to be chosen, to be seen..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg" --- # I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me… ![“I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me, a thing I dared not admit even to myself: that I had an aching need to be chosen, to be seen” quote by Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg) > ““I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me, a thing I dared not admit even to myself: that I had an aching need to be chosen, to be seen”” [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Seeking external approval reveals deep insecurity; recognizing this can foster self-acceptance. **In simple terms:** Fear of being unseen. Key Takeaway Cultivate inner validation. Themes self-esteem validation insecurity identity vulnerability Mood introspective empathetic Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - social media - job interviews - dating - public speaking Key Concepts psychology social dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What does being “chosen” mean to you? - How can you affirm your own worth? A Different Perspective Relying on others' approval may perpetuate dependency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) ## Related quotes > [Women aren't physically afraid of men; women are genetically afraid of men. It's happened for such a long time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eileen-myles/women-aren-t-physically-afraid-of-men-women-are-genetically-afraid-of/) [Eileen Myles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eileen-myles/) > [Why are we still afraid of being other than men? Women are still in hiding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-r-lippard/why-are-we-still-afraid-of-being-other-than-men-women-are-still-in/) [Lucy R. Lippard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-r-lippard/) > [“I'm afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are. You will learn that when you get a bit older,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roald-dahl/i-m-afraid-men-are-not-always-quite-as-clever-as-they-think-they-are/) [Roald Dahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roald-dahl/) > [You gotta be cool when you're macho man, cuz you can't be sensitive and care about someone having a good time in bed, cuz…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-pryor/you-gotta-be-cool-when-you-re-macho-man-cuz-you-can-t-be-sensitive/) [Richard Pryor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-pryor/) > [Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/men-are-afraid-that-women-will-laugh-at-them-women-are-afraid-that/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“In our civilization men are afraid they will not be men enough, and women are afraid they might be considered only women.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodor-reik/in-our-civilization-men-are-afraid-they-will-not-be-men-enough-and/) [Theodor Reik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodor-reik/) > [In handling men, there are three feelings that a man must not possess-fear, dislike and contempt. If he is afraid of men he cannot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbert-newton-casson/in-handling-men-there-are-three-feelings-that-a-man-must-not-possess/) [Herbert Newton Casson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbert-newton-casson/) > [I find it difficult to be afraid of men, not to disrespect them, but simply because they are human beings not God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/i-find-it-difficult-to-be-afraid-of-men-not-to-disrespect-them-but/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) > [All heaven is interested in the cross of Christ, all hell terribly afraid of it, while men are the only beings who more or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/all-heaven-is-interested-in-the-cross-of-christ-all-hell-terribly/) [Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/) > [In our civilization, men are afraid that they will not be men enough and women are afraid that they may be considered only women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-our-civilization-men-are-afraid-that-they-will-not-be-men-enough/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Men are the thing to be afraid of, always, men and nothing else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-ferdinand-celine/men-are-the-thing-to-be-afraid-of-always-men-and-nothing-else/) [Louis-Ferdinand Céline](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-ferdinand-celine/) > [I was eighteen, this was back in '46, so we also had these very frightening images of soldiers in the streets of Paris. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnes-varda/i-was-eighteen-this-was-back-in-46-so-we-also-had-these-very/) [Agnes Varda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnes-varda/) > [I am afraid of him, of all men who are successful in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-salter/i-am-afraid-of-him-of-all-men-who-are-successful-in-love/) [James Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-salter/) > [“But why give a man something it's so hard to earn? In that respect women are really thick. They're the daughters of rigidity. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabel-allende/but-why-give-a-man-something-it-s-so-hard-to-earn-in-that-respect/) [Isabel Allende](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabel-allende/) > [“At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gavin-de-becker/at-core-men-are-afraid-women-will-laugh-at-them-while-at-core-women/) [Gavin de Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gavin-de-becker/) ## More by Charles M. Blow > [America is not static. America is striving. And sometimes, America requires critique. Jingoism is an avoidance of realism. You can simultaneously love and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-not-static-america-is-striving-and-sometimes-america/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [One thing the gay rights movement taught the world is the importance of being visible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/one-thing-the-gay-rights-movement-taught-the-world-is-the-importance/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/one-doesn-t-have-to-operate-with-great-malice-to-do-great-harm-the/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [Voter apathy is a civic abdication.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/voter-apathy-is-a-civic-abdication/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I'm trying to illuminate how perilously narrow we draw the concepts of masculinity and sexuality in our male culture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-m-trying-to-illuminate-how-perilously-narrow-we-draw-the-concepts/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [Different is not deviant, no matter what the world may say. You have the moral obligation to love yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/different-is-not-deviant-no-matter-what-the-world-may-say-you-have/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [Often, those with the most to lose as a result of a poor policy move are the most vulnerable and most marginalized. Those folks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/often-those-with-the-most-to-lose-as-a-result-of-a-poor-policy-move/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I have always loved science, but I have always loved the arts - drawing, painting and, yes, writing - more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-have-always-loved-science-but-i-have-always-loved-the-arts-drawing/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [When I won my way to the international science fair, I didn't want to embarrass myself. It was the first time I was going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/when-i-won-my-way-to-the-international-science-fair-i-didn-t-want-to/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [There can be moments in your life where you may feel attracted to someone depending on circumstance, depending on the person of one gender…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/there-can-be-moments-in-your-life-where-you-may-feel-attracted-to/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I was always a relatively quiet and introspective kid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-was-always-a-relatively-quiet-and-introspective-kid/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [An illustration is a visual editorial - it's just as nuanced. Everything that goes into it is a call you make: every color, every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/an-illustration-is-a-visual-editorial-it-s-just-as-nuanced-everything/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I had set about trying to make myself more polished than a country boy would be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-had-set-about-trying-to-make-myself-more-polished-than-a-country/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [In the same way that Occupy Wall Street forever elevated that concept of income inequality, the Black Lives Matter protesters have elevated the idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/in-the-same-way-that-occupy-wall-street-forever-elevated-that-concept/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [America is a living idea. It isn't only the tenets of its founding, but also the terms of its future. Every day, we make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-a-living-idea-it-isn-t-only-the-tenets-of-its-founding-but/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) [Explore all 56 Charles M. Blow quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) ## More Afraid quotes > [It took me 20 years to buy an electric typewriter, because I was afraid it would be too sensitive. I like to bang the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elmore-leonard/it-took-me-20-years-to-buy-an-electric-typewriter-because-i-was/) [Elmore Leonard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elmore-leonard/) > [“Carrie Fisher. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-union/carrie-fisher-stay-afraid-but-do-it-anyway/) [Gabrielle Union](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-union/) > [I used to be afraid of my temper, but it turns out I don't really have one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zoe-bell/i-used-to-be-afraid-of-my-temper-but-it-turns-out-i-don-t-really-have/) [Zoe Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zoe-bell/) > [I get afraid of the dark if I'm in a great deal of dark, and I have to move around inside of that fear...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emil-ferris/i-get-afraid-of-the-dark-if-i-m-in-a-great-deal-of-dark-and-i-have-to/) [Emil Ferris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emil-ferris/) > [I am not afraid of praise, for I have practiced it on myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/i-am-not-afraid-of-praise-for-i-have-practiced-it-on-myself/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [I'm a pretty fearless person. I'm afraid of, like, creepy men in white vans and sidewalks with no streetlights. But I'm not afraid to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josie-totah/i-m-a-pretty-fearless-person-i-m-afraid-of-like-creepy-men-in-white/) [Josie Totah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josie-totah/) > [I will support my party when they are right on an issue, but am not afraid to stand up to party bosses who are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darlene-senger/i-will-support-my-party-when-they-are-right-on-an-issue-but-am-not/) Darlene Senger > [Why am I so afraid to loose you,when you're not even mine?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/why-am-i-so-afraid-to-loose-you-when-you-re-not-even-mine/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I want to tell you, but I cant, becuase I'm afraid if I do you'll never treat me same the again](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cristina-orante/i-want-to-tell-you-but-i-cant-becuase-i-m-afraid-if-i-do-you-ll-never/) [Cristina Orante](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cristina-orante/) > [Mistakes I've made in the past make me afraid to try new things in the future. I want to be perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-altucher/mistakes-i-ve-made-in-the-past-make-me-afraid-to-try-new-things-in/) [James Altucher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-altucher/) > [“Humans are naturally scared and confused beings. They not only fear the unknown, as they live fearing themselves... ☥”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luis-marques/humans-are-naturally-scared-and-confused-beings-they-not-only-fear/) [Luis Marques](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luis-marques/) > [If you are too afraid of failure, you cant possibly do what needs to be done to succeed in living a fulfilling life. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/if-you-are-too-afraid-of-failure-you-cant-possibly-do-what-needs-to/) [Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/) > [We cannot be afraid of the dark that they live in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burnie-burns/we-cannot-be-afraid-of-the-dark-that-they-live-in/) [Burnie Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/burnie-burns/) > [“I think the reason we're cruel sometimes is that we're afraid we're going to like something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-berg/i-think-the-reason-we-re-cruel-sometimes-is-that-we-re-afraid-we-re/) [Elizabeth Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-berg/) > [I'm still with that feeling that I am afraid of doing the wrong thing, because somebody is going to punish me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eartha-kitt/i-m-still-with-that-feeling-that-i-am-afraid-of-doing-the-wrong-thing/) [Eartha Kitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eartha-kitt/) Browse all 5,519 Afraid quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me, a thing I dared not admit even to myself: that I had an aching need to be chosen, to be seen”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Charles M. Blow" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-see-the-hole-in-me-a-thing-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Afraid" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-see-the-hole-in-me-a-thing-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/charles-m-blow-12200_fear_i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-se_1538182.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was afraid that men like that could see the hole in me, a thing I dared not admit even to myself: that I…” — Charles M. Blow", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Charles M. Blow", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I was afraid that men like...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-see-the-hole-in-me-a-thing-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/i-was-afraid-that-men-like-that-could-see-the-hole-in-me-a-thing-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```