--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr…" description: "\"“As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr. Driscoll helped with the bumps and valleys. He knew just how much to draw out of me and how much I could handle. ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/charles-l-bailey-jr-39399_blame_as-i-let-it-out-layer-by-layer-dr-drisco_2985928.jpg" --- # As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr. Driscoll helped with… ![“As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr. Driscoll helped with the bumps and valleys. He knew just how much to draw out of me and how much I could handle. He is such an expert in his profession. He told me that the guilt I was feeling was not guilt, but regret. Guilt is a good thing. It is a mechanism…” quote by Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/charles-l-bailey-jr-39399_blame_as-i-let-it-out-layer-by-layer-dr-drisco_2985928.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/charles-l-bailey-jr-39399_blame_as-i-let-it-out-layer-by-layer-dr-drisco_2985928.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/charles-l-bailey-jr-39399_blame_as-i-let-it-out-layer-by-layer-dr-drisco_2985928.jpg) > ““As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr. Driscoll helped with the bumps and valleys. He knew just how much to draw out of me and how much I could handle. He is such an expert in his profession. He told me that the guilt I was feeling was not guilt, but regret. Guilt is a good thing. It is a mechanism by which we shouldn't make the same mistake twice. If you do something questionable, then the next chance you get to do it, guilt should stop you. I had no guilt. I had regrets, many regrets, but no guilt. It took some convincing, but he prevailed. There was always a nagging in my head, that if only I had had the guts to kill Neary myself, it would have stopped him from harming others, but that was not to be as a small boy. It does hurt that, maybe, just maybe, if I had carried out one of my many plans to kill him and myself then I could have saved victims younger than I. As victims come forward from almost all the churches where he served—and some are twenty—five plus years my junior—I feel that they would have been spared, if only I hadn't chickened out as a boy. Therein lies the answer; I was a little boy, a ten—year—old boy. Other victims of Neary were as young as six.”” [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker reflects on therapy that reframed guilt as regret, highlighting how early trauma and missed decisions shape lasting remorse. **In simple terms:** Therapy changed guilt into regret, revealing deep lingering remorse. Key Takeaway Recognize and process past regrets to heal. Themes trauma remorse therapy decisionmaking Mood reflective somber introspective Type personal narrative therapeutic insight When to use this quote - counseling sessions - personal reflection - support groups - ethical debates Key Concepts psychology ethical reflection self‑compassion Questions to Reflect On - How can one transform lingering regret into constructive action? - What role does early trauma play in later moral judgments? A Different Perspective Regret may not fully replace guilt, and self‑blame can persist despite therapeutic insight. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Clergy-abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/clergy-abuse/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Harming others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/harming-others/) [Healing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healing/) [Journey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/journey/) [Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/priest/) [Protection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/protection/) [Psychologist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychologist/) [Psychotherapy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychotherapy/) [Rape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rape/) [Recovery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/recovery/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Sexual assault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual-assault/) [Survivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survivor/) [Therapy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapy/) [Victim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/victim/) ## Related quotes > [“Bit by bit, Dr. Driscoll helped me to peel away the layers of protection I had built up over the years. The process was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/bit-by-bit-dr-driscoll-helped-me-to-peel-away-the-layers-of/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“It wasn't a sign of weakness to tell what happened to me. I feel guilt no longer, only regret. The other emotions are coming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/it-wasn-t-a-sign-of-weakness-to-tell-what-happened-to-me-i-feel-guilt/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“The shame, embarrassment, feeling of low self-worth, and scores of "labels" we give ourselves are not fitting. I am beginning to see how I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/the-shame-embarrassment-feeling-of-low-self-worth-and-scores-of/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“I feel that some people have a hard time with the truths around us, not only the sexual abuse by priests, but all bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-feel-that-some-people-have-a-hard-time-with-the-truths-around-us/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“A plain, brown paper-wrapped package came in the mail recently. Upon opening it, I saw that it was a patchwork quilt about four feet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/a-plain-brown-paper-wrapped-package-came-in-the-mail-recently-upon/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [Do not have regrets. Guilt is a wasted emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-reedus/do-not-have-regrets-guilt-is-a-wasted-emotion/) [Norman Reedus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-reedus/) > [ “The Rochester group \[of VOTF\], however, was met with some concern as they found it hard to believe my account as it unfolded before… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/the-rochester-group-of-votf-however-was-met-with-some-concern-as-they/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“I reflected on other victims I had met and how they were raped right on the altars of their own churches. Some of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-reflected-on-other-victims-i-had-met-and-how-they-were-raped-right/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“I was amazed, shocked, and sickened by what I heard throughout the day, over and over, by many victims' stories. I can think of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-was-amazed-shocked-and-sickened-by-what-i-heard-throughout-the-day/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“How often do we hear from the local diocesan people—the bishop, the communications director, the victim assistance coordinator, and others—that this abuse is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/how-often-do-we-hear-from-the-local-diocesan-people-the-bishop-the/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“They like to use those fancy words. They don't like to say “raped,'” he said. “They say “misdeed,' “inappropriate touching,' “mistake.' That's insulting. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/they-like-to-use-those-fancy-words-they-don-t-like-to-say-raped-he/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [I think some of the biggest time sucks are regret and guilt, and I have to fight against those things all the time. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-think-some-of-the-biggest-time-sucks-are-regret-and-guilt-and-i/) [Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/) > [“Remembering your mistakes more acutely than any minor success. This was the worst. The things that kept you up at night. Tip a waiter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-shihab-nye/remembering-your-mistakes-more-acutely-than-any-minor-success-this/) [Naomi Shihab Nye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-shihab-nye/) > [“But the human mind has a talent for ignoring what is inconvenient for it to notice. A built-in delete key to soften the blows…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-jordan/but-the-human-mind-has-a-talent-for-ignoring-what-is-inconvenient-for/) [Toni Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-jordan/) > [“Regret. It had been regret she’d felt that night she’d killed the Crochan. Regret and guilt and shame, for acting on blind obedience, for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-j-maas/regret-it-had-been-regret-she-d-felt-that-night-she-d-killed-the/) [Sarah J. Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-j-maas/) ## More by Charles L. Bailey Jr > [“I was amazed, shocked, and sickened by what I heard throughout the day, over and over, by many victims' stories. I can think of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-was-amazed-shocked-and-sickened-by-what-i-heard-throughout-the-day/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“I reflected on other victims I had met and how they were raped right on the altars of their own churches. Some of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-reflected-on-other-victims-i-had-met-and-how-they-were-raped-right/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“A plain, brown paper-wrapped package came in the mail recently. Upon opening it, I saw that it was a patchwork quilt about four feet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/a-plain-brown-paper-wrapped-package-came-in-the-mail-recently-upon/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“The shame, embarrassment, feeling of low self-worth, and scores of "labels" we give ourselves are not fitting. I am beginning to see how I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/the-shame-embarrassment-feeling-of-low-self-worth-and-scores-of/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“They like to use those fancy words. They don't like to say “raped,'” he said. “They say “misdeed,' “inappropriate touching,' “mistake.' That's insulting. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/they-like-to-use-those-fancy-words-they-don-t-like-to-say-raped-he/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“I feel that some people have a hard time with the truths around us, not only the sexual abuse by priests, but all bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/i-feel-that-some-people-have-a-hard-time-with-the-truths-around-us/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“It wasn't a sign of weakness to tell what happened to me. I feel guilt no longer, only regret. The other emotions are coming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/it-wasn-t-a-sign-of-weakness-to-tell-what-happened-to-me-i-feel-guilt/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“How often do we hear from the local diocesan people—the bishop, the communications director, the victim assistance coordinator, and others—that this abuse is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/how-often-do-we-hear-from-the-local-diocesan-people-the-bishop-the/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [“Bit by bit, Dr. Driscoll helped me to peel away the layers of protection I had built up over the years. The process was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/bit-by-bit-dr-driscoll-helped-me-to-peel-away-the-layers-of/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) > [ “The Rochester group \[of VOTF\], however, was met with some concern as they found it hard to believe my account as it unfolded before… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-l-bailey-jr/the-rochester-group-of-votf-however-was-met-with-some-concern-as-they/) [Charles L. Bailey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) [Explore all 11 Charles L. Bailey Jr quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-l-bailey-jr/) ## More Blame quotes > [“I have to blame myself for not finding any way of reaching him, but I can't feel that either Ruth or I had anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stegner/i-have-to-blame-myself-for-not-finding-any-way-of-reaching-him-but-i/) [Wallace Stegner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stegner/) > [Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-pilkington/me-mum-used-to-always-have-the-radio-on-even-now-she-has-it-on-in/) [Karl Pilkington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-pilkington/) > [I like to praise and reward loudly, to blame quietly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-the-great/i-like-to-praise-and-reward-loudly-to-blame-quietly/) [Catherine the Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-the-great/) > [Some of the things that I said I hated to say, but blame yourself mother fucker you made it this way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jedi-mind-tricks/some-of-the-things-that-i-said-i-hated-to-say-but-blame-yourself/) [Jedi Mind Tricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jedi-mind-tricks/) > [Holy shadows of the dead, I'm not to blame for your cruel and bitter fate, but the accursed rivalry which brought sister nations and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-the-great/holy-shadows-of-the-dead-i-m-not-to-blame-for-your-cruel-and-bitter/) [Alexander the Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-the-great/) > [“In places where government priorities and market imperatives create a world so capricious that to help a neighbor is to risk your ability to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-boo/in-places-where-government-priorities-and-market-imperatives-create-a/) [Katherine Boo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-boo/) > [“Stop Blaming Others For Your Own Actions”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-g-roldan/stop-blaming-others-for-your-own-actions/) [Alexis G. 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I don't know why the ground was rolled before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yeasin-khan/i-am-down-mentally-i-can-t-understand-how-it-happened-and-who-is-to/) Yeasin Khan > [A refusal to admit one's mistake & not accepting responsibility for that mistake by blaming everyone else, is d beginning of one's decline.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-refusal-to-admit-one-s-mistake-not-accepting-responsibility-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Listen, the guy was not created by coverage from MSNBC and CNN. If you want to blame us for making Donald Trump president because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-tur/listen-the-guy-was-not-created-by-coverage-from-msnbc-and-cnn-if-you/) [Katy Tur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-tur/) Browse all 3,779 Blame quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“As I let it out, layer by layer, Dr. Driscoll helped with the bumps and valleys. He knew just how much to draw out of me and how much I could handle. He is such an expert in his profession. He told me that the guilt I was feeling was not guilt, but regret. Guilt is a good thing. It is a mechanism by which we shouldn't make the same mistake twice. If you do something questionable, then the next chance you get to do it, guilt should stop you. I had no guilt. I had regrets, many regrets, but no guilt. It took some convincing, but he prevailed. There was always a nagging in my head, that if only I had had the guts to kill Neary myself, it would have stopped him from harming others, but that was not to be as a small boy. It does hurt that, maybe, just maybe, if I had carried out one of my many plans to kill him and myself then I could have saved victims younger than I. As victims come forward from almost all the churches where he served—and some are twenty—five plus years my junior—I feel that they would have been spared, if only I hadn't chickened out as a boy. 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