--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If you have the ability to love, love…" description: "\"If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.\" — Charles Bukowski" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg" --- # If you have the ability to love, love yourself first. ![“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” quote by Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg) > “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑love is foundational; loving oneself first enables authentic love for others. **In simple terms:** Love yourself before loving others. Key Takeaway Prioritize self‑care. Themes self‑love authenticity relationships foundation Mood raw introspective Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - dating - friendship - personal healing - setting boundaries Key Concepts philosophy psychology emotional health Questions to Reflect On - How do you practice self‑love without neglecting others? - What does self‑love look like in daily life? A Different Perspective Self‑love can become selfish if not balanced with empathy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) [Ability to love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability-to-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-yourself/) [Love yourself first](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-yourself-first/) ## Related quotes > [There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lennon/there-are-two-basic-motivating-forces-fear-and-love/) [John Lennon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lennon/) > [In this universe we are given two gifts: the ability to love and the ability to question. Which are, at the same time, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/in-this-universe-we-are-given-two-gifts-the-ability-to-love-and-the/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [What makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think but our ability to love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-makes-us-human-is-not-our-mind-but-our-heart-not-our-ability-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“It is hardly necessary to stress the fact that the ability to love as an act of giving depends on the character development of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/it-is-hardly-necessary-to-stress-the-fact-that-the-ability-to-love-as/) [Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/) > [How long can a man live on the outside before he loses his ability to love? How long before there's no more hope?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lowell/how-long-can-a-man-live-on-the-outside-before-he-loses-his-ability-to/) [Elizabeth Lowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lowell/) > [“In this universe we are given two gifts: the ability to love, and the ability to ask questions. Which are, at the same time,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/in-this-universe-we-are-given-two-gifts-the-ability-to-love-and-the-2/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“the ability to love; the courage and strength it takes to love a person, no matter how different they are. Forgiving that they have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-m-sevilla/the-ability-to-love-the-courage-and-strength-it-takes-to-love-a/) [J.M. Sevilla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-m-sevilla/) > [“We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections to one another.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/we-find-our-humanity-our-will-to-live-and-our-ability-to-love-in-our/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“they had an instictive ability to love, so that when they encountered each other, they fitted together in a way that made the two…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garth-nix/they-had-an-instictive-ability-to-love-so-that-when-they-encountered/) [Garth Nix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garth-nix/) > [“What is emotional freedom? It means increasing your ability to love by cultivating positive emotions and being able to compassionately witness and transform negative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-orloff/what-is-emotional-freedom-it-means-increasing-your-ability-to-love-by/) [Judith Orloff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-orloff/) > [“It is our ability to love that makes us most like the Creator…but to love in the face of loss and pain makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-patten/it-is-our-ability-to-love-that-makes-us-most-like-the-creator-but-to/) Douglas Patten > [“With practice, you will find that not resisting holds the secret to many spiritual experiences, including the ability to love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/with-practice-you-will-find-that-not-resisting-holds-the-secret-to/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/paradoxically-the-ability-to-be-alone-is-the-condition-for-the/) [Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/) > [“ No more. The yin fen has taken so much from me: my family, the years of my life, the strength in my body,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/no-more-the-yin-fen-has-taken-so-much-from-me-my-family-the-years-of/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [I have never experienced being madly in love the way most people seem to have been, although it is not something I would miss.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/astrid-lindgren/i-have-never-experienced-being-madly-in-love-the-way-most-people-seem/) [Astrid Lindgren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/astrid-lindgren/) ## More by Charles Bukowski > [“sometimes when everything seems at its worst when all conspires and gnaws and the hours, days, weeks years seem wasted – stretched there upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/sometimes-when-everything-seems-at-its-worst-when-all-conspires-and/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [well, death says, as he walks by, I'm going to get you anyhow no matter what you've been: writer, cab-driver, pimp, butcher, sky-diver, I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/well-death-says-as-he-walks-by-i-m-going-to-get-you-anyhow-no-matter/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“There is only one place to write and that is alone at a typewriter. A writer who has to go into the streets is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/there-is-only-one-place-to-write-and-that-is-alone-at-a-typewriter-a/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [Even the stove and the refrigerator looked human, I mean good human - they seemed to have arms and voices and they said, hang…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/even-the-stove-and-the-refrigerator-looked-human-i-mean-good-human/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“nerves twitching in the sheets -- to face the sunlight again, that's clearly trouble. I like the city better when the neon lights are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/nerves-twitching-in-the-sheets-to-face-the-sunlight-again-that-s/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“Their Love Is Average, Seeks Average But There Is Genius In Their Hatred”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/their-love-is-average-seeks-average-but-there-is-genius-in-their/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I climbed the stairway (there was no elevator) and put the key in. The door swung open. Somebody had changed all the furniture around,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-climbed-the-stairway-there-was-no-elevator-and-put-the-key-in-the/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“Strangers when you meet, strangers when you part -a gymnasium of bodies namelessly masturbating each other. People with no morals often considered themselves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/strangers-when-you-meet-strangers-when-you-part-a-gymnasium-of-bodies/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-like-to-change-liquor-stores-frequently-because-the-clerks-got-to/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I was like a turd that drew flies instead of like a flower that butterflies and bees desired. I wanted to live alone,I felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-like-a-turd-that-drew-flies-instead-of-like-a-flower-that/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [It's 4:30 in the morning, it's always 4:30 in the morning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/it-s-4-30-in-the-morning-it-s-always-4-30-in-the-morning/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I had no feeling for the things so many others needed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-had-no-feeling-for-the-things-so-many-others-needed/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I am sick with caring.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-am-sick-with-caring/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I went home each night dizzy and sick. He was murdering me with the sound of his voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-went-home-each-night-dizzy-and-sick-he-was-murdering-me-with-the/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“the nights you fight best are when all the weapons are pointed at you, when all the voices hurl their insults while the dream…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/the-nights-you-fight-best-are-when-all-the-weapons-are-pointed-at-you/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) [Explore all 1,492 Charles Bukowski quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) ## More Ability quotes > [I don't think there's a direct correlation between my sexuality and my skiing ability. But I think because I was so concerned about it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gus-kenworthy/i-don-t-think-there-s-a-direct-correlation-between-my-sexuality-and/) [Gus Kenworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gus-kenworthy/) > [“the importance of ability. The things that make a great job great, I discovered, are rare and valuable. If you want them in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cal-newport/the-importance-of-ability-the-things-that-make-a-great-job-great-i/) [Cal Newport](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cal-newport/) > [Ambition drives you on, ability certainly helps, but the fickle finger of fate and luck are great things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergus-henderson/ambition-drives-you-on-ability-certainly-helps-but-the-fickle-finger/) [Fergus Henderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergus-henderson/) > [The ability of the gospel to unite us on common strengths and common truths is one of the great miracles . . . of the gospel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-ability-of-the-gospel-to-unite-us-on-common-strengths-and-common/) [Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/) > [Maybe law enforcement would like the ability to turn on the camera on your Mac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-cook/maybe-law-enforcement-would-like-the-ability-to-turn-on-the-camera-on/) [Tim Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-cook/) > [I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-largent/i-ve-seen-guys-come-along-with-more-ability-they-ve-been-faster-or/) [Steve Largent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-largent/) > [The youth of India has the strength to move the entire World with a click of a mouse, we have generated that ability!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/narendra-modi/the-youth-of-india-has-the-strength-to-move-the-entire-world-with-a/) [Narendra Modi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/narendra-modi/) > [Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Nor fortune made such havoc of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/time-hath-not-yet-so-dried-this-blood-of-mine-nor-age-so-eat-up-my/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [An absolutely necessary part of a writer's equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irwin-shaw/an-absolutely-necessary-part-of-a-writer-s-equipment-almost-as/) [Irwin Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irwin-shaw/) > [I'd be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I'd been given. I'd be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denzel-washington/i-d-be-more-frightened-by-not-using-whatever-abilities-i-d-been-given/) [Denzel Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denzel-washington/) > [Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Take what I cannot give: my heart, body, thoughts, time, abilities, money, health, strength,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-prentiss/bring-into-captivity-every-thought-to-the-obedience-of-christ-take/) [Elizabeth Prentiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-prentiss/) > [You can only do the work to the very best of your ability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-baranski/you-can-only-do-the-work-to-the-very-best-of-your-ability/) [Christine Baranski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-baranski/) > [Judge a person not by his ability to make money but by his ability to retain it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/judge-a-person-not-by-his-ability-to-make-money-but-by-his-ability-to/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic or even boring or transient circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/balance-is-the-ability-to-be-happy-in-the-midst-of-the-most-chaotic/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Bobby had faith in my ability as a singer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-london/bobby-had-faith-in-my-ability-as-a-singer/) [Julie London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-london/) [Browse all 9,990 Ability quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Charles Bukowski" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-yourself-first/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Ability" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-yourself-first/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/charles-bukowski-73_ability_if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-you_885753.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” — Charles Bukowski", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Charles Bukowski", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If you have the ability to...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-yourself-first/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/if-you-have-the-ability-to-love-love-yourself-first/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```