---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was their bar freak, they needed me to…"
description: "\"I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves feel better. just like, at times, I needed that graveyard.\" — Charles Bukowski"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg"
---

#  I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves…

![“I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves feel better. just like, at times, I needed that graveyard.” quote by Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg)

> “I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves feel better. just like, at times, I needed that graveyard.”

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

People often become emotional support for others, but they also need places to recharge themselves.

**In simple terms:** Help others but also need self‑care.

Key Takeaway

Balance giving support with personal renewal.

Themes

empathy dependency self‑care

Mood

contemplative melancholic

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- friendships
- workplace teams
- family caregiving
- volunteering

Key Concepts

psychology boundaries social dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

- Where do you find your own “graveyard” to rest?
- How can you set healthy boundaries?

A Different Perspective

Over‑giving can lead to burnout.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Bar Freak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bar-freak-2200075/) [Bars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bars/) [Feel better](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-better/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Freak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freak/) [Freak Needed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freak-needed-2200077/) [Graveyard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/graveyard/) [Make Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-feel/) [Needed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed/) [Needed Graveyard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed-graveyard-2200076/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

## Related quotes

> [“(My vanishing act) when I got sick of the bar and I sometimes did I had a place to go: it was a tall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/my-vanishing-act-when-i-got-sick-of-the-bar-and-i-sometimes-did-i-had/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“What if it wasn't the guy from the bar? What if it was some freak out looking to whack some chick off because his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dakota-cassidy/what-if-it-wasn-t-the-guy-from-the-bar-what-if-it-was-some-freak-out/)

[Dakota Cassidy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dakota-cassidy/)

> [I wish to weep but sorrow is stupid. I wish to believe but belief is a graveyard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-wish-to-weep-but-sorrow-is-stupid-i-wish-to-believe-but-belief-is-a/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [Disneyland remains the central attraction of Southern California, but the graveyard remains our reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/disneyland-remains-the-central-attraction-of-southern-california-but/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [As we go on with our lives we tend to forget that the jails and the hospitals and the madhouses and the graveyards are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/as-we-go-on-with-our-lives-we-tend-to-forget-that-the-jails-and-the/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [I would say that Mickey Mouse has a greater influence on the American public than Shakespeare, Milton, Dante, Rabelais, Shostakovitch, Lenin, and/or Van Gogh.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-would-say-that-mickey-mouse-has-a-greater-influence-on-the-american/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [alone with everybody the flesh covers the bone and they put a mind in there and sometimes a soul, and the women break vases…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/alone-with-everybody-the-flesh-covers-the-bone-and-they-put-a-mind-in/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [Every bit of me is devoted to love and art. And I aspire to try to be a teacher to my young fans who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lady-gaga/every-bit-of-me-is-devoted-to-love-and-art-and-i-aspire-to-try-to-be/)

[Lady Gaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lady-gaga/)

> [You can’t bring an unwritten place to life without losing something substantial. Manila is the cradle, the graveyard, the memory. The Mecca, the Cathedral,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-syjuco/you-can-t-bring-an-unwritten-place-to-life-without-losing-something/)

[Miguel Syjuco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-syjuco/)

> [They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/they-say-life-is-precious-to-who-to-you-when-you-re-young-and-you-ve/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [The stars begin to fade like guttering candles and are snuffed out one by one. Out in the depths of space the great celestial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-robert-harrison/the-stars-begin-to-fade-like-guttering-candles-and-are-snuffed-out/)

[Edward Robert Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-robert-harrison/)

> [“The dead has always been within us, its just the graveyard where we lay to rest.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/the-dead-has-always-been-within-us-its-just-the-graveyard-where-we/)

[Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/)

> [“In the middle of the cemetery is a grassy plane, strangely vacant. There are no granite tombs or crumbling concrete, just a sun-washed treeless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-caldwell-crosby/in-the-middle-of-the-cemetery-is-a-grassy-plane-strangely-vacant/)

[Molly Caldwell Crosby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-caldwell-crosby/)

> [Cheshvan starts tonight," Rixon said, "What are you doing arsing around in a graveyard?" "Thinking." "Thinking?" "A process by which I use my brain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becca-fitzpatrick/cheshvan-starts-tonight-rixon-said-what-are-you-doing-arsing-around/)

[Becca Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becca-fitzpatrick/)

> [I am attracted to looking at the different things language can mean even in one sometimes quite ordinary utterance. Writing is partly about listening…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rae-armantrout/i-am-attracted-to-looking-at-the-different-things-language-can-mean/)

[Rae Armantrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rae-armantrout/)

## More by Charles Bukowski

> [“sometimes when everything seems at its worst when all conspires and gnaws and the hours, days, weeks years seem wasted – stretched there upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/sometimes-when-everything-seems-at-its-worst-when-all-conspires-and/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [well, death says, as he walks by, I'm going to get you anyhow no matter what you've been: writer, cab-driver, pimp, butcher, sky-diver, I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/well-death-says-as-he-walks-by-i-m-going-to-get-you-anyhow-no-matter/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“There is only one place to write and that is alone at a typewriter. A writer who has to go into the streets is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/there-is-only-one-place-to-write-and-that-is-alone-at-a-typewriter-a/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [Even the stove and the refrigerator looked human, I mean good human - they seemed to have arms and voices and they said, hang…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/even-the-stove-and-the-refrigerator-looked-human-i-mean-good-human/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“nerves twitching in the sheets -- to face the sunlight again, that's clearly trouble. I like the city better when the neon lights are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/nerves-twitching-in-the-sheets-to-face-the-sunlight-again-that-s/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“Their Love Is Average, Seeks Average But There Is Genius In Their Hatred”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/their-love-is-average-seeks-average-but-there-is-genius-in-their/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“I climbed the stairway (there was no elevator) and put the key in. The door swung open. Somebody had changed all the furniture around,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-climbed-the-stairway-there-was-no-elevator-and-put-the-key-in-the/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“Strangers when you meet, strangers when you part -a gymnasium of bodies namelessly masturbating each other. People with no morals often considered themselves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/strangers-when-you-meet-strangers-when-you-part-a-gymnasium-of-bodies/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-like-to-change-liquor-stores-frequently-because-the-clerks-got-to/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“I was like a turd that drew flies instead of like a flower that butterflies and bees desired. I wanted to live alone,I felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-like-a-turd-that-drew-flies-instead-of-like-a-flower-that/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [It's 4:30 in the morning, it's always 4:30 in the morning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/it-s-4-30-in-the-morning-it-s-always-4-30-in-the-morning/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [I had no feeling for the things so many others needed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-had-no-feeling-for-the-things-so-many-others-needed/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“I am sick with caring.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-am-sick-with-caring/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [I went home each night dizzy and sick. He was murdering me with the sound of his voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-went-home-each-night-dizzy-and-sick-he-was-murdering-me-with-the/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

> [“the nights you fight best are when all the weapons are pointed at you, when all the voices hurl their insults while the dream…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/the-nights-you-fight-best-are-when-all-the-weapons-are-pointed-at-you/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

[Explore all 1,492 Charles Bukowski quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

## More Bars quotes

> [If, for instance, they have heard something from the postman, they attribute it to a semi-official statement; if they have fallen into conversation with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evelyn-waugh/if-for-instance-they-have-heard-something-from-the-postman-they/)

[Evelyn Waugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evelyn-waugh/)

> [The dark ages still reign over all humanity, and the depth and persistence of this domination are only now becoming clear. This Dark Ages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-buckminster-fuller/the-dark-ages-still-reign-over-all-humanity-and-the-depth-and/)

[R. Buckminster Fuller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-buckminster-fuller/)

> [It wasn't really touching to be young; it was touching not to be young, because you had less of life left. Touching to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rose-macaulay/it-wasn-t-really-touching-to-be-young-it-was-touching-not-to-be-young/)

[Rose Macaulay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rose-macaulay/)

> [Your thief looks Exactly like the rest, or rather better; 'Tis only at the bar, and in the dungeon, That wise men know your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-byron/your-thief-looks-exactly-like-the-rest-or-rather-better-tis-only-at/)

[Lord Byron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-byron/)

> [While traveling, I love granola bars, trail mix nuts, dry cereal and fruit for on-the-go snacks. I also try and start the day with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christie-rampone/while-traveling-i-love-granola-bars-trail-mix-nuts-dry-cereal-and/)

[Christie Rampone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christie-rampone/)

> [3 people get stranded on a remote Island A Banker, a Daily Mail reader &amp; an Asylum seeker All they have to eat is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-brookmyre/3-people-get-stranded-on-a-remote-island-a-banker-a-daily-mail-reader/)

[Christopher Brookmyre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-brookmyre/)

> [Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/thou-shalt-not-covet-thy-neighbor-s-house-unless-they-have-a-well/)

[W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/)

> [Meanwhile after failing the bar twice, I knew some people in New York and moved here in August '71.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-quine/meanwhile-after-failing-the-bar-twice-i-knew-some-people-in-new-york/)

[Robert Quine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-quine/)

> [If you look at coffee, tea, food and juice, we think there are inherent opportunities. If you look at health bars or grab-and-go products…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-schultz/if-you-look-at-coffee-tea-food-and-juice-we-think-there-are-inherent/)

[Howard Schultz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-schultz/)

> [At about 10 o'clock in the morning the sun threw a bright dust-laden bar through one of the side windows and in and out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/at-about-10-o-clock-in-the-morning-the-sun-threw-a-bright-dust-laden/)

[John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/)

> [I bet a guy at a bar 50 bucks that I was more dysfunctional than he was. He raped me. So I tipped him.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-bet-a-guy-at-a-bar-50-bucks-that-i-was-more-dysfunctional-than-he/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I closed my own jazz bar so I could be a man who can write novels as I like. I was pleased about that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/i-closed-my-own-jazz-bar-so-i-could-be-a-man-who-can-write-novels-as/)

[Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/)

> [My parents were Orthodox Jews but not very regular Orthodox Jews. I was bar mitzvahed and all that. But God was hardly ever mentioned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nat-hentoff/my-parents-were-orthodox-jews-but-not-very-regular-orthodox-jews-i/)

[Nat Hentoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nat-hentoff/)

> [I know a lot about Canadian politics. I lived in Canadian bars for six years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moriarty/i-know-a-lot-about-canadian-politics-i-lived-in-canadian-bars-for-six/)

[Michael Moriarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moriarty/)

> [History is the heavy traffic that prevents us from crossing the road. We're not especially interested in what it consists of. We wait, more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mal-peet/history-is-the-heavy-traffic-that-prevents-us-from-crossing-the-road/)

[Mal Peet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mal-peet/)

[Browse all 1,768 Bars quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bars/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves feel better. just like, at times, I needed that graveyard.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Charles Bukowski"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to-make-themselves-feel-better/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Bars"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to-make-themselves-feel-better/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ef/charles-bukowski-73_bars_i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to_1821808.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I was their bar freak, they needed me to make themselves feel better. just like, at times, I needed that…” — Charles Bukowski",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Charles Bukowski",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I was their bar freak, they...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to-make-themselves-feel-better/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-their-bar-freak-they-needed-me-to-make-themselves-feel-better/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
