--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And I said to myself that he was the…" description: "\"And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I had ever missed in my life.\" — Charles Bukowski" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg" --- # And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I… ![“And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I had ever missed in my life.” quote by Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg) > “And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I had ever missed in my life.” [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A realization that the most profound loss can be the absence of a person once taken for granted, highlighting the depth of personal connection. **In simple terms:** Loss of a cherished person Key Takeaway True value emerges after loss Themes loss self-awareness relationship regret appreciation Mood melancholy nostalgic Type personal reflection philosophical When to use this quote - after a breakup - following a death - during a nostalgic moment - when reflecting on past relationships Key Concepts emotional insight personal reflection Practical Applications - writing memoirs - therapy sessions Questions to Reflect On - How does absence reshape our perception of importance? - What does this reveal about taking people for granted? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ## Related quotes > [“I think I’ve missed you all my life,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-h-cosway/i-think-i-ve-missed-you-all-my-life/) [L.H. Cosway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-h-cosway/) > [I missed you all my life,” Kylie said. “I didn’t know I missed you, but I know it now. You were supposed to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-c-hunter/i-missed-you-all-my-life-kylie-said-i-didn-t-know-i-missed-you-but-i/) [C.C. Hunter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-c-hunter/) > [They say you dont know what youve got till its gone; I guess I didnt know how much I missed you until you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/they-say-you-dont-know-what-youve-got-till-its-gone-i-guess-i-didnt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [They say you don't know what you've got til it's gone. I guess I didn't know how much I missed you until you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haley-james-scott/they-say-you-don-t-know-what-you-ve-got-til-it-s-gone-i-guess-i-didn/) [Haley James Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haley-james-scott/) > [I hoped we never had to realize all the opportunities we missed in this life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-berg/i-hoped-we-never-had-to-realize-all-the-opportunities-we-missed-in/) [Elizabeth Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-berg/) > [The one thing I missed was never having children. It just wasn't in the cards, I guess.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-macdonald/the-one-thing-i-missed-was-never-having-children-it-just-wasn-t-in/) [Jeanette MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-macdonald/) > [“If my vision comes to a halt at the surface of a thing, I have missed the whole of the thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/if-my-vision-comes-to-a-halt-at-the-surface-of-a-thing-i-have-missed/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [Lucas was fifteen minutes late to class on Friday, and we had a pop quiz first thing—which he missed. My first thought was how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammara-webber/lucas-was-fifteen-minutes-late-to-class-on-friday-and-we-had-a-pop/) [Tammara Webber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammara-webber/) > [The danger is that we may fail to perceive life's greatest meaning, fall short of its highest good, miss its deepest and most abiding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phillips-brooks/the-danger-is-that-we-may-fail-to-perceive-life-s-greatest-meaning/) [Phillips Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phillips-brooks/) > [“The absurdity of it, she thought, this quest for the love of a man who was her equal. She loathed herself for it. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-duncan/the-absurdity-of-it-she-thought-this-quest-for-the-love-of-a-man-who/) [Glen Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-duncan/) > [If you didn t love someone in life you .you really missed life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch/if-you-didn-t-love-someone-in-life-you-you-really-missed-life/) [Mitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch/) > [“The Awakening Land" p615 What was the world coming to and what hearty pleasures folks today missed out of life! One bag of meal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conrad-richter/the-awakening-land-p615-what-was-the-world-coming-to-and-what-hearty/) [Conrad Richter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conrad-richter/) > [“If heaven doesn't exist, what will we have missed? This life is the best we've ever had.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-hannon/if-heaven-doesn-t-exist-what-will-we-have-missed-this-life-is-the/) Neil Hannon > [“I've never ever missed anyone in my life. I genuinely do not understand the emotion. People have told me they missed me a thousand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caspar-vega/i-ve-never-ever-missed-anyone-in-my-life-i-genuinely-do-not/) [Caspar Vega](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caspar-vega/) > [And that's a life, isn't it? Some achievements and some disappointments. It's been interesting to me, though I wouldn't complain or be amazed if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-barnes/and-that-s-a-life-isn-t-it-some-achievements-and-some-disappointments/) [Julian Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-barnes/) ## More by Charles Bukowski > [“sometimes when everything seems at its worst when all conspires and gnaws and the hours, days, weeks years seem wasted – stretched there upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/sometimes-when-everything-seems-at-its-worst-when-all-conspires-and/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [well, death says, as he walks by, I'm going to get you anyhow no matter what you've been: writer, cab-driver, pimp, butcher, sky-diver, I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/well-death-says-as-he-walks-by-i-m-going-to-get-you-anyhow-no-matter/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“There is only one place to write and that is alone at a typewriter. A writer who has to go into the streets is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/there-is-only-one-place-to-write-and-that-is-alone-at-a-typewriter-a/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [Even the stove and the refrigerator looked human, I mean good human - they seemed to have arms and voices and they said, hang…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/even-the-stove-and-the-refrigerator-looked-human-i-mean-good-human/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“nerves twitching in the sheets -- to face the sunlight again, that's clearly trouble. I like the city better when the neon lights are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/nerves-twitching-in-the-sheets-to-face-the-sunlight-again-that-s/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“Their Love Is Average, Seeks Average But There Is Genius In Their Hatred”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/their-love-is-average-seeks-average-but-there-is-genius-in-their/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I climbed the stairway (there was no elevator) and put the key in. The door swung open. Somebody had changed all the furniture around,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-climbed-the-stairway-there-was-no-elevator-and-put-the-key-in-the/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“Strangers when you meet, strangers when you part -a gymnasium of bodies namelessly masturbating each other. People with no morals often considered themselves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/strangers-when-you-meet-strangers-when-you-part-a-gymnasium-of-bodies/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-like-to-change-liquor-stores-frequently-because-the-clerks-got-to/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I was like a turd that drew flies instead of like a flower that butterflies and bees desired. I wanted to live alone,I felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-was-like-a-turd-that-drew-flies-instead-of-like-a-flower-that/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [It's 4:30 in the morning, it's always 4:30 in the morning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/it-s-4-30-in-the-morning-it-s-always-4-30-in-the-morning/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I had no feeling for the things so many others needed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-had-no-feeling-for-the-things-so-many-others-needed/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“I am sick with caring.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-am-sick-with-caring/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I went home each night dizzy and sick. He was murdering me with the sound of his voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-went-home-each-night-dizzy-and-sick-he-was-murdering-me-with-the/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [“the nights you fight best are when all the weapons are pointed at you, when all the voices hurl their insults while the dream…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/the-nights-you-fight-best-are-when-all-the-weapons-are-pointed-at-you/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) [Explore all 1,492 Charles Bukowski quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) ## More Firsts quotes > [I always say there are two things to be successful. The first is decide exactly what you want - set your goals - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-tracy/i-always-say-there-are-two-things-to-be-successful-the-first-is/) [Brian Tracy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-tracy/) > [My first ever job after college was as a flight attendant. I wanted to travel and could not afford it, so I decided to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacqueline-winspear/my-first-ever-job-after-college-was-as-a-flight-attendant-i-wanted-to/) [Jacqueline Winspear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacqueline-winspear/) > [Since I worked with Danny Boyle before on Slumdog Millionaire, we have great success and everything. So, when I first got the script and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-r-rahman/since-i-worked-with-danny-boyle-before-on-slumdog-millionaire-we-have/) [A. R. Rahman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-r-rahman/) > [You sort of can't talk about the post production unless you talk about what comes first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-greengrass/you-sort-of-can-t-talk-about-the-post-production-unless-you-talk/) [Paul Greengrass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-greengrass/) > [I'm a business first and foremost so whatever my business is, it's separate from my personal. It's like whatever I do business wise, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/snoop-dogg/i-m-a-business-first-and-foremost-so-whatever-my-business-is-it-s/) [Snoop Dogg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/snoop-dogg/) > [A man walks down the street. It's a street in a strange world. Maybe it's the third world. Maybe it's his first time around.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-simon/a-man-walks-down-the-street-it-s-a-street-in-a-strange-world-maybe-it/) [Paul Simon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-simon/) > [I did not know that the planning for biological and chemical warfare was so widespread in England, and even in France before France fell.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholson-baker/i-did-not-know-that-the-planning-for-biological-and-chemical-warfare/) [Nicholson Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholson-baker/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-alexis/the-biggest-change-for-me-as-a-mom-was-realizing-i-needed-to-put/) [Kim Alexis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-alexis/) > [When I first started, my message was about joy, but I didn't really have the vocabulary and life experience to fully deliver it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-mraz/when-i-first-started-my-message-was-about-joy-but-i-didn-t-really/) [Jason Mraz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-mraz/) > [I'm very used to working with first time actors - you can just look back at 'E.T.' with Drew Barrymore, and Christian Bale from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/i-m-very-used-to-working-with-first-time-actors-you-can-just-look/) [Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/) > [I have lifted my plane . . . for perhaps a thousand flights and I have never felt her wheels glide from the Earth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beryl-markham/i-have-lifted-my-plane-for-perhaps-a-thousand-flights-and-i-have/) [Beryl Markham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beryl-markham/) > [We need a system that serves our needs, not the needs of others. Remember, under a Trump administration it's called America first. Remember that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/we-need-a-system-that-serves-our-needs-not-the-needs-of-others/) [Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/) > [The U.S.-Mexican border es un herida abierta where the Third World grates against the first and bleeds. And before a scab forms it hemorrhages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-e-anzald-a/the-u-s-mexican-border-es-un-herida-abierta-where-the-third-world/) [Gloria E. Anzaldúa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-e-anzald-a/) > [Meanwhile someone is shining my head to get it dry to attach my top-hat to my head with toupee tape. I get into microphone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tituss-burgess/meanwhile-someone-is-shining-my-head-to-get-it-dry-to-attach-my-top/) [Tituss Burgess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tituss-burgess/) > [Peace is the first thing the angels sang. Peace is the mark of the children of God. Peace is the nurse of love. Peace…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-leo-i/peace-is-the-first-thing-the-angels-sang-peace-is-the-mark-of-the/) [Pope Leo I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-leo-i/) Browse all 32,432 Firsts quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I had ever missed in my life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Charles Bukowski" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-first-thing-that-i-had-ever/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Firsts" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-first-thing-that-i-had-ever/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/charles-bukowski-73_firsts_and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-fir_77428.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And I said to myself that he was the first thing that I had ever missed in my life.” — Charles Bukowski", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Charles Bukowski", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "And I said to myself that...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-first-thing-that-i-had-ever/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/and-i-said-to-myself-that-he-was-the-first-thing-that-i-had-ever/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```