--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You can not figure out love without…" description: "\"“You can not figure out love without figuring out death, too, but the effort it takes can knock the wind out of you. Love is the first cousin of death,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg" --- # You can not figure out love without figuring out death… ![“You can not figure out love without figuring out death, too, but the effort it takes can knock the wind out of you. Love is the first cousin of death, they're acquainted with each other, they go to the same family reunions.” quote by Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg) > ““You can not figure out love without figuring out death, too, but the effort it takes can knock the wind out of you. Love is the first cousin of death, they're acquainted with each other, they go to the same family reunions.”” [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love and death are intertwined; understanding one deepens comprehension of the other, and both can be overwhelming. **In simple terms:** Love and death are linked and intense. Key Takeaway Embrace both to grasp life's depth. Themes love death existence emotion intimacy Mood reflective melancholic Type philosophical literary When to use this quote - relationship counseling - grief support - creative writing - philosophical discussion Key Concepts philosophy psychology mortality human experience Questions to Reflect On - How does recognizing mortality affect love? - Can love survive fear of loss? A Different Perspective Such parallels may romanticize suffering. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Family Reunions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-reunions/) [First Cousin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-cousin/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) ## Related quotes > [“Who are you in love with?" I said then. For a minute Marco didn't say anything, he simply opened his mouth and breathed out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/who-are-you-in-love-with-i-said-then-for-a-minute-marco-didn-t-say/) [Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/) > [Carl, Dennis and Brian are brothers, and Mike Love's a cousin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-johnston/carl-dennis-and-brian-are-brothers-and-mike-love-s-a-cousin/) [Bruce Johnston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-johnston/) > [I love my family in Baltimore. But on their side of the family, I love their cousin Charles Thompson, because he's from New York…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-fields/i-love-my-family-in-baltimore-but-on-their-side-of-the-family-i-love/) Kim Fields > [I love being with my cousin I tell her everything](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brianna-ramos/i-love-being-with-my-cousin-i-tell-her-everything/) [Brianna Ramos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brianna-ramos/) > [Never we sleep, a thug doesn't rest, Cause a wise man said: it was a cousin of death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/big-pun/never-we-sleep-a-thug-doesn-t-rest-cause-a-wise-man-said-it-was-a/) [Big Pun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/big-pun/) > [I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nas/i-never-sleep-cause-sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death/) [Nas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nas/) > [Someone told me sleep was the cousin of death and followin' the dollar finds nothin' but stress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mac-miller/someone-told-me-sleep-was-the-cousin-of-death-and-followin-the-dollar/) [Mac Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mac-miller/) > [I never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nas/i-never-sleep-because-sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death/) [Nas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nas/) > [“Sleep is cousin to death, Vasya. And both are mine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-arden/sleep-is-cousin-to-death-vasya-and-both-are-mine/) [Katherine Arden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-arden/) > [“We’re like rednecks then, zaydeh.” “What are you talking about? I was educated well. I know six languages. I manage the family investment portfolio.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stuart-rojstaczer/we-re-like-rednecks-then-zaydeh-what-are-you-talking-about-i-was/) [Stuart Rojstaczer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stuart-rojstaczer/) > [“paranoia, the first cousin of a bastard named fear”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-jerome-dickey/paranoia-the-first-cousin-of-a-bastard-named-fear/) [Eric Jerome Dickey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-jerome-dickey/) > [“We’re distant cousins. He’s my first cousin, but he’s 5,000 miles away. And he doesn’t talk much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-re-distant-cousins-he-s-my-first-cousin-but-he-s-5-000-miles-away/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Growing up in a family of gamblers, daredevils and practical jokers, I've learned a lot about timing and its first cousin, dumb luck, concepts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toby-speed/growing-up-in-a-family-of-gamblers-daredevils-and-practical-jokers-i/) Toby Speed > [Optimism is the first cousin of love, and it's exactly like love in three ways: it's pushy, it has no real sense of humour,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-david-roberts/optimism-is-the-first-cousin-of-love-and-it-s-exactly-like-love-in/) [Gregory David Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-david-roberts/) > [“There was a happy irony in the first cousin of the autocratic Kaiser Wilhelm II and Tsar Nicholas II (with whom George bore a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ham/there-was-a-happy-irony-in-the-first-cousin-of-the-autocratic-kaiser/) [Paul Ham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ham/) ## More by Charles Baxter > [“Ethics is a dream.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/ethics-is-a-dream/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [It's my feeling that any writer can get an emotion into a story without being sentimental as long as the emotion is dealt with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/it-s-my-feeling-that-any-writer-can-get-an-emotion-into-a-story/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [At least with pets, and for all I know, people too, intelligence and quick-wittedness have nothing to do with a talent for being loved,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/at-least-with-pets-and-for-all-i-know-people-too-intelligence-and/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [Literature is not a sack race. There aren't real winners and losers in the Republic of Letters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/literature-is-not-a-sack-race-there-aren-t-real-winners-and-losers-in/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“...Hell is the proof of God's failure or refusal to love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/hell-is-the-proof-of-god-s-failure-or-refusal-to-love/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“Literature is not an instruction manual. For obvious reasons, this is rarely noted in fiction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/literature-is-not-an-instruction-manual-for-obvious-reasons-this-is/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“Gurov, discovers that the most important features of life that you want to talk about cannot be spoken of in polite society.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/gurov-discovers-that-the-most-important-features-of-life-that-you/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“Men have strength, Miss Ferenczi said, but no true magic. That is why men fall in love with women but women do not fall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/men-have-strength-miss-ferenczi-said-but-no-true-magic-that-is-why/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [There's nothing to talk about to strangers anymore, if you know what I mean. Everything I want to say, I say to her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/there-s-nothing-to-talk-about-to-strangers-anymore-if-you-know-what-i/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“Anyway, what I've just told you was what prompted the chair incident. I had grown big, and he was trying to belittle me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/anyway-what-i-ve-just-told-you-was-what-prompted-the-chair-incident-i/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“intelligence and quick-wittedness have nothing to do with a talent for being loved, or being kind, nothing at all, less than nothing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/intelligence-and-quick-wittedness-have-nothing-to-do-with-a-talent/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [When you’re in love you don’t have to do a damn thing. You can just be. You can just stay quiet in the world.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/when-you-re-in-love-you-don-t-have-to-do-a-damn-thing-you-can-just-be/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [“Against the odds, they refuse to succeed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/against-the-odds-they-refuse-to-succeed/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [Savor the imminent weirdness of the day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/savor-the-imminent-weirdness-of-the-day/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [In truth, there are only two realities: the one for people who are in love or love each other, and the one for people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/in-truth-there-are-only-two-realities-the-one-for-people-who-are-in/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) [Explore all 84 Charles Baxter quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“It was beautiful. He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/) [Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) > [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/) [Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/) > [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) J. Anthony Torino > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) Alan W. Powers > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You can not figure out love without figuring out death, too, but the effort it takes can knock the wind out of you. Love is the first cousin of death, they're acquainted with each other, they go to the same family reunions.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Charles Baxter" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figuring-out-death-too-but-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Death" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figuring-out-death-too-but-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/charles-baxter-8009_death_you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figu_1444092.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can not figure out love without figuring out death, too, but the effort it takes can knock the wind out…” — Charles Baxter", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Charles Baxter", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“You can not figure out love...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figuring-out-death-too-but-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/you-can-not-figure-out-love-without-figuring-out-death-too-but-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```