--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I wanted a good relationship with my…" description: "\"I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time angry that she didn't give me the hugs I t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg" --- # I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I… ![“I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time angry that she didn't give me the hugs I thought I needed, or I could understand that she hugs differently. It's not a spread-open-the-arms, 'come here' hug. She hugs by sheltering me from…” quote by Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg) > “I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time angry that she didn't give me the hugs I thought I needed, or I could understand that she hugs differently. It's not a spread-open-the-arms, 'come here' hug. She hugs by sheltering me from her worries.” [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We can choose how to interpret others' actions, seeing them as care rather than neglect. **In simple terms:** Choose to see love in different expressions. Key Takeaway Reframe expectations of affection. Themes relationships empathy perspective family communication Mood reflective empathetic Type advice inspirational When to use this quote - parent‑child dynamics - conflict resolution - personal growth - mental health Key Concepts psychology emotional intelligence attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize love in non‑traditional gestures? - What expectations limit your connections? A Different Perspective If we misinterpret, we may damage relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Angry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) [Good relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-relationship/) [Hug](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hug/) [Hugs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hugs/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Worry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/worry/) ## Related quotes > [“He hugs the thought to himself with guilty glee.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lodge/he-hugs-the-thought-to-himself-with-guilty-glee/) [David Lodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lodge/) > [If I want to know how I'm doing at work, I don't wait for a pat on the back; I ask the people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/if-i-want-to-know-how-i-m-doing-at-work-i-don-t-wait-for-a-pat-on-the/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-carrey/creative-people-don-t-behave-very-well-generally-if-you-re-looking/) [Jim Carrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-carrey/) > [“You will know if we're good in our relationship by the evidence or absence of conversation… For if you're dead to me how can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/renee-a-lee-2/you-will-know-if-we-re-good-in-our-relationship-by-the-evidence-or/) Renee' A. Lee > [I think we should all hope for a Russia that is successful, where its people are employed and the economy is growing and they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/i-think-we-should-all-hope-for-a-russia-that-is-successful-where-its/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [I don't have a very good relationship with baking. I do bake sometimes, but my natural instinct is to just do what feels right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thu-tran/i-don-t-have-a-very-good-relationship-with-baking-i-do-bake-sometimes/) [Thu Tran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thu-tran/) > [It's an honour to wear the shirt and the badge, and to be part of such an illustrious club is gonna be exciting, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asmir-begovic/it-s-an-honour-to-wear-the-shirt-and-the-badge-and-to-be-part-of-such/) Asmir Begovic > [I was always respectful to Arsene and I think he respected me for that. We had a good relationship and understanding. We spoke a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lukasz-fabianski/i-was-always-respectful-to-arsene-and-i-think-he-respected-me-for/) [Lukasz Fabianski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lukasz-fabianski/) > [Well, I have a good relationship with everybody. So, it's difficult to be a bad relationship with me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-vela/well-i-have-a-good-relationship-with-everybody-so-it-s-difficult-to/) [Carlos Vela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-vela/) > [I can not promise good relationship but I just promise that you are always here in my heart and in my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/innah-delos-angeles/i-can-not-promise-good-relationship-but-i-just-promise-that-you-are/) [Innah Delos Angeles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/innah-delos-angeles/) > [“Make sure he's worth it. She had thought it so many times it had become a part of her. Like her tongue filling her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colleen-mccarty/make-sure-he-s-worth-it-she-had-thought-it-so-many-times-it-had/) Colleen McCarty > [A good relationship is when two people accept each others past, support each others present, and love each other enough to encourage each others…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/a-good-relationship-is-when-two-people-accept-each-others-past/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [Our security depends on having good relationships with our allies. Donald Trump mainly shows contempt for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-wolfowitz/our-security-depends-on-having-good-relationships-with-our-allies/) [Paul Wolfowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-wolfowitz/) > [Good relationship dont just happen it takes time and patience communication is the best keyword.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikkie/good-relationship-dont-just-happen-it-takes-time-and-patience/) [Nikkie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikkie/) > [You can't have the fruits without the roots. It's the principle of sequencing: Private Victories proceed Public Victories. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-covey/you-can-t-have-the-fruits-without-the-roots-it-s-the-principle-of/) [Stephen Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-covey/) ## More by Chandra Wilson > [I made the decision to go on to college and major in drama and see where it would take me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-made-the-decision-to-go-on-to-college-and-major-in-drama-and-see/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [It's very difficult to advocate for yourself while you're in excruciating pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/it-s-very-difficult-to-advocate-for-yourself-while-you-re-in/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [My mom said I was not going to be an idle child, so I had things to do every day after school.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/my-mom-said-i-was-not-going-to-be-an-idle-child-so-i-had-things-to-do/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [Starting at age four, my mom decided that she was not going to have an idle child in the house. So I started taking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/starting-at-age-four-my-mom-decided-that-she-was-not-going-to-have-an/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I like to play the comic relief or parts that aren't necessarily comedic but that I can find the comedy in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-like-to-play-the-comic-relief-or-parts-that-aren-t-necessarily/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I keep getting amazing things to bring to life. There's always something to discover with 'Dr. Bailey,' something that brings her home to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-keep-getting-amazing-things-to-bring-to-life-there-s-always/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I'm fortunate enough to have learned not to waste time getting frustrated with my kids, or co-workers, or friends and family for not doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-m-fortunate-enough-to-have-learned-not-to-waste-time-getting/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [We could be much more empathic as a society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/we-could-be-much-more-empathic-as-a-society/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I've watched 'General Hospital' for 35 years. I grew up with it. It holds such a place in my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-ve-watched-general-hospital-for-35-years-i-grew-up-with-it-it-holds/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I just don't take stuff too seriously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-just-don-t-take-stuff-too-seriously/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [You're not going to find a more committed performer than Sandra Oh - to every single word, action, history that informs the future. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/you-re-not-going-to-find-a-more-committed-performer-than-sandra-oh-to/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [I worked at Deutsche Bank for about eight years on their overnight shift. I was working consistently in the theater. I just wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-worked-at-deutsche-bank-for-about-eight-years-on-their-overnight/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [Before 'Grey's Anatomy,' I was doing musicals, plays, commercials, you name it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/before-grey-s-anatomy-i-was-doing-musicals-plays-commercials-you-name/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > ['Grey's' is one of those shows... that's been able to ride so many waves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/grey-s-is-one-of-those-shows-that-s-been-able-to-ride-so-many-waves/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) > [Our happiness is certainly mixed in with the tragedies of life. You have to find the lemonade. You have to find the silver lining…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/our-happiness-is-certainly-mixed-in-with-the-tragedies-of-life-you/) [Chandra Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) [Explore all 37 Chandra Wilson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/) ## More Angry quotes > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [There's only so much for a man to take...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsten-gilchrist/there-s-only-so-much-for-a-man-to-take/) Kirsten Gilchrist > [It is afraid of an informed, angry public demanding the constitutional government it was promised - and it should be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-snowden/it-is-afraid-of-an-informed-angry-public-demanding-the-constitutional/) [Edward Snowden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-snowden/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying or getting overly angry or to maintain control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-haysbert/sometimes-you-have-to-laugh-to-keep-from-crying-or-getting-overly/) [Dennis Haysbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-haysbert/) > [When you're frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-pausch/when-you-re-frustrated-with-people-when-they-ve-made-you-angry-it/) [Randy Pausch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-pausch/) > [When I was writing 'Black Panther,' on one level, I was angry because DC would never let me write 'Batman,' so I was doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-priest/when-i-was-writing-black-panther-on-one-level-i-was-angry-because-dc/) [Christopher Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-priest/) > [Another step had her backed up against the wall, and he braced his arms on both sides of her. "I'm beginning to look forward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johanna-lindsey/another-step-had-her-backed-up-against-the-wall-and-he-braced-his/) [Johanna Lindsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johanna-lindsey/) > [I'm an angry guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-gandolfini/i-m-an-angry-guy/) [James Gandolfini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-gandolfini/) > [Apparently, I'm the angriest man. I don't know. It's just an interpretation. If it was someone else, they might be called focused or competitive.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alun-wyn-jones/apparently-i-m-the-angriest-man-i-don-t-know-it-s-just-an/) [Alun Wyn Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alun-wyn-jones/) > [In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hanks/in-the-1998-oscars-i-found-myself-in-the-bathroom-in-a-stall-next-to/) [Tom Hanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hanks/) > [Of course I get angry, but I want to use my brain a little bit and not just smash things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kacey-musgraves/of-course-i-get-angry-but-i-want-to-use-my-brain-a-little-bit-and-not/) [Kacey Musgraves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kacey-musgraves/) > [“Rather than being incensed by the nature of the bruise, maybe we should be inspired by the possibilities in the bruise.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/rather-than-being-incensed-by-the-nature-of-the-bruise-maybe-we/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) [Browse all 3,857 Angry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time angry that she didn't give me the hugs I thought I needed, or I could understand that she hugs differently. It's not a spread-open-the-arms, 'come here' hug. She hugs by sheltering me from her worries.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Chandra Wilson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mother-and-i-realized-i-had-a/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Angry" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mother-and-i-realized-i-had-a/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/760/chandra-wilson-17313_angry_i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mot_290355.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time…” — Chandra Wilson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Chandra Wilson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chandra-wilson/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I wanted a good relationship with...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mother-and-i-realized-i-had-a/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chandra-wilson/i-wanted-a-good-relationship-with-my-mother-and-i-realized-i-had-a/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```