--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Love is a choice -- not simply, or…" description: "\"Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.\" — Carte..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png" --- # Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational… ![“Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.” quote by Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png) > “Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.” [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love involves selfless presence, not just rational choice. **In simple terms:** Love is self‑less presence. Key Takeaway Practice unconditional attentiveness. Themes love choice presence authenticity Mood compassionate thoughtful Type ethical philosophical When to use this quote - relationships - community service - mental health support Key Concepts ethical caring interpersonal ethics Questions to Reflect On - How can we balance self‑care with selfless love? - When does love become self‑sacrificing? A Different Perspective May conflict with personal boundaries. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Guile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guile/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Is A Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-is-a-choice/) [Pretense](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pretense/) [Willingness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/willingness/) ## Related quotes > [Love is a choice — not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessarily-a-rational-choice-but-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Love is a choice, Lost is a way, Life is one hell of a trip.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tahlea/love-is-a-choice-lost-is-a-way-life-is-one-hell-of-a-trip/) Tahlea > [Love is a choice. Forgiveness is a choice too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mich-pastor/love-is-a-choice-forgiveness-is-a-choice-too/) Mich Pastor > [“Love is a choice. The greater your love for God, the greater your future; and the greater your love for people, the greater your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-o-oyedepo/love-is-a-choice-the-greater-your-love-for-god-the-greater-your/) [David O. Oyedepo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-o-oyedepo/) > [Love is a choice you make everyday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-a-choice-you-make-everyday/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-de-angelis/love-is-a-choice-you-make-from-moment-to-moment/) [Barbara De Angelis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-de-angelis/) > [It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice. This seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-is-difficult-for-some-people-to-accept-that-love-is-a-choice-this/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I love you body, soul, and breath. Is that unromantic? Love is not a whim. Love is not a flower that fades with a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brent-weeks/i-love-you-body-soul-and-breath-is-that-unromantic-love-is-not-a-whim/) [Brent Weeks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brent-weeks/) > [“Love is a choice. It's a decision.' She told us, 'It flows into, through, and out of each person like a river. If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-martin/love-is-a-choice-it-s-a-decision-she-told-us-it-flows-into-through/) [Charles Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-martin/) > [“Love is a choice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-a-choice/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Love is a choice, not a matter of destiny. It is a choice renewed each day.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-francis-alfar/love-is-a-choice-not-a-matter-of-destiny-it-is-a-choice-renewed-each/) Dean Francis Alfar > [According to God, the One who designed and instituted marriage, love is a choice. It’s a matter of obedience, not emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-arthur/according-to-god-the-one-who-designed-and-instituted-marriage-love-is/) [Kay Arthur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-arthur/) > [Only love can bring us peace. And the experience of love is a choice we make, a mental decision to see love as the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-williamson/only-love-can-bring-us-peace-and-the-experience-of-love-is-a-choice/) [Marianne Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-williamson/) > [Love is a choice, the more you love a person is the more you realize that your will be lost and hurt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-a-choice-the-more-you-love-a-person-is-the-more-you-realize/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I believe that - love is a choice. I believe that we love, that if I'm forced to love you then I don't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/i-believe-that-love-is-a-choice-i-believe-that-we-love-that-if-i-m/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) ## More by Carter Heyward > [Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-like-truth-and-beauty-is-concrete-love-is-not-fundamentally-a/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [If we are to live with our feet on the ground, in touch with reality, we must help one another accept the fact that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/if-we-are-to-live-with-our-feet-on-the-ground-in-touch-with-reality/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [For god is nothing other than the eternally creative source of our relational power, our common strength, a god whose movement is to empower,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/for-god-is-nothing-other-than-the-eternally-creative-source-of-our/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [But doubt is a crucial to faith as darkness is to light. Without one, the other has no context and is meaningless. Faith is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/but-doubt-is-a-crucial-to-faith-as-darkness-is-to-light-without-one/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [If women were in charge, abortion would be a sacrament, an occasion of deep and serious and sacred meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/if-women-were-in-charge-abortion-would-be-a-sacrament-an-occasion-of/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [I'm a priest, not a priestess. Priestess implies mumbo jumbo and all sorts of pagan goings-on. Those who oppose us would love to call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/i-m-a-priest-not-a-priestess-priestess-implies-mumbo-jumbo-and-all/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [God reveals herself through our relationships not only to other people but also to other creatures and nature.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/god-reveals-herself-through-our-relationships-not-only-to-other/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [Lovers re-create the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/lovers-re-create-the-world/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [“Without critical work, political awareness is likely to remain superficial and rhetorical.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/without-critical-work-political-awareness-is-likely-to-remain/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-like-truth-and-beauty-is-concrete-love-is-not-fundamentally-a-2/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [It's obvious throughout secular and church history that significant legislation follows only after dramatic action.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/it-s-obvious-throughout-secular-and-church-history-that-significant/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [the very minute we think we 'have' God, God will surprise us. As we search in fire and earthquakes, God will be in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/the-very-minute-we-think-we-have-god-god-will-surprise-us-as-we/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [The whole inhabited earth is sacred space in which God lives, breathes, and acts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/the-whole-inhabited-earth-is-sacred-space-in-which-god-lives-breathes/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [The only theology worth doing is that which inspires and transforms lives, that which empowers us to participate in creating, liberating, and blessing the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/the-only-theology-worth-doing-is-that-which-inspires-and-transforms/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [We are born in relation, we live in relation, we die in relation. There is, literally, no such human place as simply "inside myself."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/we-are-born-in-relation-we-live-in-relation-we-die-in-relation-there/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) [Explore all 21 Carter Heyward quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) ## More Choice quotes > [Making the right decision is hard,telling someone your decision is even harder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhishek-tiwari/making-the-right-decision-is-hard-telling-someone-your-decision-is/) [Abhishek Tiwari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhishek-tiwari/) > [“That’s all! Now either leave us alone or join us as a father rather than a receiver of sacrifices. You have the choice of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/that-s-all-now-either-leave-us-alone-or-join-us-as-a-father-rather/) [Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/) > [“In a world of fixed future, there can be no right or wrong. Right and wrong demand freedom of choice, but if each action…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-lightman/in-a-world-of-fixed-future-there-can-be-no-right-or-wrong-right-and/) [Alan Lightman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-lightman/) > [“Exactly. So, what can't you take? Decide which of the two options is harder, and do the other. That way, no matter how hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josephine-angelini/exactly-so-what-can-t-you-take-decide-which-of-the-two-options-is/) [Josephine Angelini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josephine-angelini/) > [“too—I realized that my only hope was to give up the life that had been, in order to make room for the life that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/too-i-realized-that-my-only-hope-was-to-give-up-the-life-that-had/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [When you have a choice, choose happy!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pancho-barnes/when-you-have-a-choice-choose-happy/) Pancho Barnes > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [There has always been a feeling with people that they love my singing but not always the choice of material.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-moyet/there-has-always-been-a-feeling-with-people-that-they-love-my-singing/) [Alison Moyet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-moyet/) > [I have too many options when it comes to guitars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-nielsen/i-have-too-many-options-when-it-comes-to-guitars/) [Rick Nielsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-nielsen/) > [“Amazing how a small choice can change your life forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-c-dockens/amazing-how-a-small-choice-can-change-your-life-forever/) Randy C. Dockens > [Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/change-is-inevitable-but-personal-growth-is-a-choice/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [If you choose to draw from the inner well of free will, then you can make choices that are outside your current karmic patterns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-you-choose-to-draw-from-the-inner-well-of-free-will-then-you-can/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Since I don't outline my books very much, I feel like sometimes I don't have a choice in what the characters do; they just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-todd/since-i-don-t-outline-my-books-very-much-i-feel-like-sometimes-i-don/) [Anna Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-todd/) > [Act always so as to increase the number of choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heinz-von-foerster/act-always-so-as-to-increase-the-number-of-choices/) [Heinz von Foerster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heinz-von-foerster/) > [Words can only have an effect on you if you choose to listen to them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernajoy-vaal/words-can-only-have-an-effect-on-you-if-you-choose-to-listen-to-them/) [Bernajoy Vaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernajoy-vaal/) [Browse all 8,092 Choice quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carter Heyward" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessarily-a-rational-choice-but/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Choice" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessarily-a-rational-choice-but/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/carter-heyward-26837_choice_love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessari_3042696.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to…” — Carter Heyward", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Carter Heyward", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Love is a choice -- not...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessarily-a-rational-choice-but/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-is-a-choice-not-simply-or-necessarily-a-rational-choice-but/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```