--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Our innate wiring, our brains are wired…" description: "\"“Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for connections & relationships, but trauma; past experiences, rewires them for protection, self-pres..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg" --- # Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for… ![“Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for connections & relationships, but trauma; past experiences, rewires them for protection, self-preservation. Thus maintaining healthy relationships can be a formidable challenge for those carrying the scars of past wounds.” quote by Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg) > ““Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for connections & relationships, but trauma; past experiences, rewires them for protection, self-preservation. Thus maintaining healthy relationships can be a formidable challenge for those carrying the scars of past wounds.”” [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Trauma rewires brain to prioritize self-protection, making healthy relationships difficult. **In simple terms:** Trauma makes forming bonds hard. Key Takeaway Seek healing to rebuild trust. Themes trauma relationships healing Mood empathetic serious Type therapeutic reflective When to use this quote - therapy sessions - support groups - personal relationships Key Concepts neuroscience attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - What triggers your protective instincts? - How can you practice safe vulnerability? A Different Perspective Healing is a long, non-linear process. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Broken-families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broken-families/) [Carrying Scars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/carrying-scars-3561314/) [Connections Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/connections-relationships-5183361/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Healthy Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy-relationships/) [Past Wounds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/past-wounds-2477346/) [Reality of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reality-of-life/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) [Relationships Trauma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships-trauma-5733597/) [Respect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/respect/) [Trauma Past](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trauma-past-5733598/) ## Related quotes > [I first became fascinated with the Sears catalogue because all the people in its pages were perfect. Nearly everybody I knew had something missing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-crews/i-first-became-fascinated-with-the-sears-catalogue-because-all-the/) [Harry Crews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-crews/) > [Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family. Even your super weirdo creep cousin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-brodsky/cherish-your-human-connections-your-relationships-with-friends-and-2/) [Joseph Brodsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-brodsky/) > [For so much of my young life, I'd felt lonely, isolated, cut off from like-minded people. I yearned for human connections and relationships with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-brooks/for-so-much-of-my-young-life-i-d-felt-lonely-isolated-cut-off-from/) [Kim Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-brooks/) > [Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-bush/cherish-your-human-connections-your-relationships-with-friends-and/) [Barbara Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-bush/) > [“Abandon the notion of entertaining toxic individuals, banking on the possibility that they might be your saviors in an unforeseeable future; under the pretense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/abandon-the-notion-of-entertaining-toxic-individuals-banking-on-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“The lens of Pessimism ethics; pierces the illusions of optimism, reminds us that pain and evil are not mere outliers but prevailing forces in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/the-lens-of-pessimism-ethics-pierces-the-illusions-of-optimism/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Family grudges are a complex web of emotions and history. Within the complex dynamics of such conflicts, they expect us to treat them with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/family-grudges-are-a-complex-web-of-emotions-and-history-within-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Distinguish between those who share your blood and those who share your vision; one is bound by Biology, the other by shared purpose. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/distinguish-between-those-who-share-your-blood-and-those-who-share/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Sometimes we commit to things, we make promises, but situations don't align in our favor. The timing of promises isn't always in our control.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/sometimes-we-commit-to-things-we-make-promises-but-situations-don-t/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Life is fleeting, and we have limited chances to make our mark; we don't get a chance to do many things. We must seize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/life-is-fleeting-and-we-have-limited-chances-to-make-our-mark-we-don/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“He picked up his knife and started carving again. He concentrated on the lines and planes of the wood to keep his mind from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorraine-heath/he-picked-up-his-knife-and-started-carving-again-he-concentrated-on/) [Lorraine Heath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorraine-heath/) > [I hope you can move on from your past wounds now. Don't make yourself suffer anymore for what happened in the past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hope-you-can-move-on-from-your-past-wounds-now-don-t-make-yourself/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Our past wounds have a way of shaping our future behavior. The question is―what will you do now? Will you allow your need for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonya-lampley/our-past-wounds-have-a-way-of-shaping-our-future-behavior-the/) [Tonya Lampley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tonya-lampley/) > [I don’t believe in “laying to rest” the past. There are wounds we won’t get over. There are things that happen to us that,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-wiman/i-don-t-believe-in-laying-to-rest-the-past-there-are-wounds-we-won-t/) [Christian Wiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-wiman/) > [“Families are the flowers of a garden. Each family member comes in different colors and shapes but are have the same DNA.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margie-goldsmith/families-are-the-flowers-of-a-garden-each-family-member-comes-in/) [Margie Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margie-goldsmith/) ## More by Carson Anekeya > [“Family grudges are a complex web of emotions and history. Within the complex dynamics of such conflicts, they expect us to treat them with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/family-grudges-are-a-complex-web-of-emotions-and-history-within-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Waiting for a mental health crisis as a trigger for help is a failure of foresight. More often than not, it is always too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/waiting-for-a-mental-health-crisis-as-a-trigger-for-help-is-a-failure/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“~They played a role in your story, and it's okay if their chapter still echoes within you. Their meaning in your life is valid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/they-played-a-role-in-your-story-and-it-s-okay-if-their-chapter-still/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Not every relationship is designed for a lifetime, and that's okay. Instead of dwelling on the 'whys' of the past, channel your energy into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/not-every-relationship-is-designed-for-a-lifetime-and-that-s-okay/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Did my hopefulness ever truly change the outcome? Some battles felt lost from the start. Was it even worth fighting them? Stop lying to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/did-my-hopefulness-ever-truly-change-the-outcome-some-battles-felt/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“That person held significance, and it's alright if their memory still lingers. Accepting their absence doesn't diminish the importance of what you shared. Realize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/that-person-held-significance-and-it-s-alright-if-their-memory-still/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Abandon the notion of entertaining toxic individuals, banking on the possibility that they might be your saviors in an unforeseeable future; under the pretense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/abandon-the-notion-of-entertaining-toxic-individuals-banking-on-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“The lens of Pessimism ethics; pierces the illusions of optimism, reminds us that pain and evil are not mere outliers but prevailing forces in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/the-lens-of-pessimism-ethics-pierces-the-illusions-of-optimism/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“If you reach a point where you have to kill the people opposing you, just know you've failed as a leader. True leadership inspires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/if-you-reach-a-point-where-you-have-to-kill-the-people-opposing-you/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Sometimes we commit to things, we make promises, but situations don't align in our favor. The timing of promises isn't always in our control.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/sometimes-we-commit-to-things-we-make-promises-but-situations-don-t/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Life is fleeting, and we have limited chances to make our mark; we don't get a chance to do many things. We must seize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/life-is-fleeting-and-we-have-limited-chances-to-make-our-mark-we-don/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Distinguish between those who share your blood and those who share your vision; one is bound by Biology, the other by shared purpose. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/distinguish-between-those-who-share-your-blood-and-those-who-share/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Progress knows no gender. It’s time to break down barriers and accelerate change for all. Inclusion is not just about inviting women to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/progress-knows-no-gender-it-s-time-to-break-down-barriers-and/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“True care is proactive, not reactive. Not everyone struggling can find the strength to ask for help. Sometimes, it’s up to you, the helper,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/true-care-is-proactive-not-reactive-not-everyone-struggling-can-find/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“We built digital tools to extend our attention and memory, then slowly surrendered our attention to the very systems designed to hold it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/we-built-digital-tools-to-extend-our-attention-and-memory-then-slowly/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) [Explore all 16 Carson Anekeya quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) ## More Broken-families quotes > [“Families are the flowers of a garden. Each family member comes in different colors and shapes but are have the same DNA.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margie-goldsmith/families-are-the-flowers-of-a-garden-each-family-member-comes-in/) [Margie Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margie-goldsmith/) > [“Family grudges are a complex web of emotions and history. Within the complex dynamics of such conflicts, they expect us to treat them with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/family-grudges-are-a-complex-web-of-emotions-and-history-within-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Fear is simply an unpleasant fact, and should never be a barrier to success.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/fear-is-simply-an-unpleasant-fact-and-should-never-be-a-barrier-to/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“The mind is rich with possibilities for fulfilment, but you decide to dwell on the limited horizons and paradigms that you are used to,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/the-mind-is-rich-with-possibilities-for-fulfilment-but-you-decide-to/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“Sign of an abusive system: getting angry at other's real needs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-vanvonderen/sign-of-an-abusive-system-getting-angry-at-other-s-real-needs/) [Jeff VanVonderen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-vanvonderen/) > [“What is it about me that gets them all crying? It’s not the end of the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-samuels/what-is-it-about-me-that-gets-them-all-crying-it-s-not-the-end-of-the/) [Diane Samuels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-samuels/) > [“Living your dreams, changing your behaviours and overcoming negative habits is challenging. However, when you change the way you look at things, the things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/living-your-dreams-changing-your-behaviours-and-overcoming-negative/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“Christina died of a stroke in the fall of 1971, at the age of sixty-one. June watched the nurses take her mother's body away.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-jenkins-reid/christina-died-of-a-stroke-in-the-fall-of-1971-at-the-age-of-sixty/) [Taylor Jenkins Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-jenkins-reid/) > [“Adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, and a remarkable creativity and insight. Deep within them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-muller/adults-who-were-hurt-as-children-inevitably-exhibit-a-peculiar/) [Wayne Muller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-muller/) > [“Oftentimes we try to change the world around us, our family members and our friends, while remaining the same. That is impossible. Sometimes we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/oftentimes-we-try-to-change-the-world-around-us-our-family-members/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“You are on earth to express greatness in your form, not anyone else’s. You are born for a reason. You have to find out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/you-are-on-earth-to-express-greatness-in-your-form-not-anyone-else-s/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“A conscience that is forbidden to operate in the choice of goals for economic activity is not conscience in the sense in which any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lesslie-newbigin/a-conscience-that-is-forbidden-to-operate-in-the-choice-of-goals-for/) [Lesslie Newbigin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lesslie-newbigin/) > [“Abandon the notion of entertaining toxic individuals, banking on the possibility that they might be your saviors in an unforeseeable future; under the pretense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/abandon-the-notion-of-entertaining-toxic-individuals-banking-on-the/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) > [“Do not be waylaid by a toxic family Whatsapp group. You fought hard to emerge as your own person in real life. Do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itayi-garande/do-not-be-waylaid-by-a-toxic-family-whatsapp-group-you-fought-hard-to/) [Itayi Garande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itayi-garande/) > [“The lens of Pessimism ethics; pierces the illusions of optimism, reminds us that pain and evil are not mere outliers but prevailing forces in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/the-lens-of-pessimism-ethics-pierces-the-illusions-of-optimism/) [Carson Anekeya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/) [Browse all 32 Broken-families quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broken-families/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for connections & relationships, but trauma; past experiences, rewires them for protection, self-preservation. Thus maintaining healthy relationships can be a formidable challenge for those carrying the scars of past wounds.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carson Anekeya" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-to-crave-for-connections/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Broken-families" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-to-crave-for-connections/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/carson-anekeya-31600_broken-families_our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-t_1539956.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Our innate wiring, our brains are wired to crave for connections & relationships, but trauma; past…” — Carson Anekeya", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Carson Anekeya", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-anekeya/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Our innate wiring, our brains are...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-to-crave-for-connections/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-anekeya/our-innate-wiring-our-brains-are-wired-to-crave-for-connections/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```