--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One helpful thing to keep in mind as a…" description: "\"One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't \"win,\" you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't ma..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png" --- # One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is… ![“One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't "win," you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't make the atmosphere in the room any better, YOU won't feel any better.” quote by Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png) > “One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't "win," you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't make the atmosphere in the room any better, YOU won't feel any better.” [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Retorts rarely change opinions or improve mood; they often leave you feeling worse. **In simple terms:** Winning arguments rarely improve feelings. Key Takeaway Accept that some debates are unproductive. Themes communication conflict self-care Mood frustrated reflective Type advice psychological When to use this quote - political debates - family arguments - online comments - workplace meetings - public speaking Key Concepts psychology argumentation emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - Is the argument worth the emotional cost? - How can you disengage gracefully? A Different Perspective You may still feel unsettled after a heated exchange. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Retort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/retort/) [Retorts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/retorts/) [Vote](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vote/) [Winning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/winning/) ## Related quotes > [Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/other-republican-candidates-may-retort-to-personal-attacks-and/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [One doesn't come to Italy for niceness," was the retort; "one comes for life. Buon giorno! Buon giorno!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-doesn-t-come-to-italy-for-niceness-was-the-retort-one-comes-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-woman-springs-a-sudden-reproach-upon-you-which-provokes-a-hot/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/repartee-n-prudent-insult-in-retort-practiced-by-gentlemen-with-a/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [I saw money change votes.I mean, they just seem unaware of this, that money is something - if they want to see the appearance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-shields/i-saw-money-change-votes-i-mean-they-just-seem-unaware-of-this-that/) [Mark Shields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-shields/) > [“I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers." "I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said. "Then, for a beginner," I said, "you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse/i-said-don-t-talk-rot-old-tom-travers-i-am-not-accustomed-to-talk-rot/) [P.G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse/) > [“Well, Karou had wanted to retort, with all the gravity and maturity she could muster. Duh.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laini-taylor/well-karou-had-wanted-to-retort-with-all-the-gravity-and-maturity-she/) [Laini Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laini-taylor/) > [“Demaratus, being asked in a troublesome manner by an importunate fellow, Who was the best man in Lacedaemon? answered at last, 'He, Sir, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plutarch/demaratus-being-asked-in-a-troublesome-manner-by-an-importunate/) [Plutarch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plutarch/) > [I can be just as effective with a quick retort or a one-liner than with a big paragraph.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-colmes/i-can-be-just-as-effective-with-a-quick-retort-or-a-one-liner-than/) [Alan Colmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-colmes/) > [“About two hours afterwards Gethryn discovered a suitable retort, but, coming to the conclusion that better late than never does not apply to repartees,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse/about-two-hours-afterwards-gethryn-discovered-a-suitable-retort-but/) [P.G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse/) > [“You can't do a blocking spell, and you've never heard of L'Occhio di Dio? Man, what kind of witch are you?" I had an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hawkins/you-can-t-do-a-blocking-spell-and-you-ve-never-heard-of-l-occhio-di/) [Rachel Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hawkins/) > [“Billy, honey, could you get me another drink from the bar? I’m almost done with this one.” Kate pulls on his arm, cutting off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-chase/billy-honey-could-you-get-me-another-drink-from-the-bar-i-m-almost/) [Emma Chase](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-chase/) > [Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-perkins-gilman/audiences-are-always-better-pleased-with-a-smart-retort-some-joke-or/) [Charlotte Perkins Gilman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-perkins-gilman/) > [“When people ask me that absurd question "Do you like children?" I always feel like retorting - and sometimes do, if I think the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-montgomery/when-people-ask-me-that-absurd-question-do-you-like-children-i-always/) [L.M. Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-montgomery/) > [“I don't like you with Becky. She's not a very nice girl.' 'I don't like you with Jake. He's not me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-summers/i-don-t-like-you-with-becky-she-s-not-a-very-nice-girl-i-don-t-like/) [Courtney Summers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-summers/) ## More by Carolyn Hax > [I actually recommend as little actual counting as possible in a life partnership. But, when there's a sense of injustice brewing between you, some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/i-actually-recommend-as-little-actual-counting-as-possible-in-a-life/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [There has been, for some reason (or more likely an unfortunate accumulation of reasons) a trend over the past several decades for parents to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/there-has-been-for-some-reason-or-more-likely-an-unfortunate/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [People who make babies surrender their right to behave like them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/people-who-make-babies-surrender-their-right-to-behave-like-them/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [There's nothing like a good family when you're really up a tree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/there-s-nothing-like-a-good-family-when-you-re-really-up-a-tree/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [It takes awareness that it's not only not a bad thing to let others do things their own way, it is in fact an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/it-takes-awareness-that-it-s-not-only-not-a-bad-thing-to-let-others/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [The sudden death of a partner while expecting a child is so universally understood as awful that I don't think anyone with any other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/the-sudden-death-of-a-partner-while-expecting-a-child-is-so/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [I do crosswords when I have time to kill somewhere, and am 100 percent successful on filling in the spots I get stuck on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/i-do-crosswords-when-i-have-time-to-kill-somewhere-and-am-100-percent/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [Unfortunately, I think the expectation is that birthday girls don't pay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/unfortunately-i-think-the-expectation-is-that-birthday-girls-don-t-pay/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [When you fail to see something, that doesn't mean I'm hiding it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/when-you-fail-to-see-something-that-doesn-t-mean-i-m-hiding-it/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [All of us assign different values to things, and not all of those values are going to line up with others'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/all-of-us-assign-different-values-to-things-and-not-all-of-those/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [Don't freight your answers with any notions of what you're "supposed" to do, and just see where your feelings point you. It can feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/don-t-freight-your-answers-with-any-notions-of-what-you-re-supposed/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [There's nothing wrong with being happy somewhere, even if it's the little pond you grew up in, as long as you are in fact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/there-s-nothing-wrong-with-being-happy-somewhere-even-if-it-s-the/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [Being negative is easy. There will always be a downside to everything good, a hurdle to everything desirable, a con to every pro. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/being-negative-is-easy-there-will-always-be-a-downside-to-everything/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [You need to make plans for your future, so plan your own future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/you-need-to-make-plans-for-your-future-so-plan-your-own-future/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) > [First group impressions can mask a lot of individual variations in the members.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/first-group-impressions-can-mask-a-lot-of-individual-variations-in/) [Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) [Explore all 74 Carolyn Hax quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/) ## More Atmosphere quotes > [“The global population of Earth are involved in the following corporate government experiments: The long term effects of - 1. Nuclear bomb fallout radiation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/the-global-population-of-earth-are-involved-in-the-following/) [Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/) > [If I had my brothers I think with just a little bit of the correct marketing, I'd like to be almost exclusively in small…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-bozzio/if-i-had-my-brothers-i-think-with-just-a-little-bit-of-the-correct/) [Terry Bozzio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-bozzio/) > [My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram, or the most intricate analysis, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/my-mind-rebels-at-stagnation-give-me-problems-give-me-work-give-me/) [Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/) > [Man will not always stay on Earth; the pursuit of light and space will lead him to penetrate the bounds of the atmosphere, timidly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/konstantin-tsiolkovsky/man-will-not-always-stay-on-earth-the-pursuit-of-light-and-space-will/) [Konstantin Tsiolkovsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/konstantin-tsiolkovsky/) > [Pause before you get home and prepare your heart. A peaceful heart leads to a peaceful atmosphere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-burns/pause-before-you-get-home-and-prepare-your-heart-a-peaceful-heart/) [Jim Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-burns/) > [Sometimes a minute is really the difference between success and failure. There are times when you finish with ten seconds left, and one extra…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-symon/sometimes-a-minute-is-really-the-difference-between-success-and/) [Michael Symon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-symon/) > [Christianity does not oppose debauchery and uncontrollable passions and the like as much as it opposes... flat mediocrity, this nauseating atmosphere, this homey, civil…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soren-kierkegaard/christianity-does-not-oppose-debauchery-and-uncontrollable-passions/) [Soren Kierkegaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soren-kierkegaard/) > [Washington bureaucrats have classified the very air we exhale as a pollutant and have gone unchallenged in this incredible assertion. The logical consequence is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-paul/washington-bureaucrats-have-classified-the-very-air-we-exhale-as-a/) [Ron Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-paul/) > [“Atmosphere" is a massive song. A lot of people say it's their favorite Joy Division song, but it's not mine; it reminds me too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-hook/atmosphere-is-a-massive-song-a-lot-of-people-say-it-s-their-favorite/) [Peter Hook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-hook/) > [Establish an atmosphere that energizes you. Some creative people flourish in confusion; others need to be free from interruption. Many prepare themselves for work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nita-leland/establish-an-atmosphere-that-energizes-you-some-creative-people/) [Nita Leland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nita-leland/) > [Each year we pump at least six billion tons of heat-trapping carbon into the innermost layer of our atmosphere, whose outer extent is only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-gelbspan/each-year-we-pump-at-least-six-billion-tons-of-heat-trapping-carbon/) [Ross Gelbspan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-gelbspan/) > [It was clear to me that the White House's solemn atmosphere would not civilize Trump. But the merciless nepotism with which he conducts politics,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-schulz/it-was-clear-to-me-that-the-white-house-s-solemn-atmosphere-would-not/) [Martin Schulz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-schulz/) > [“Bjerknes had come up with equations capable of describing the behavior of the atmosphere. The state of the atmosphere at any point could be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heidi-cullen/bjerknes-had-come-up-with-equations-capable-of-describing-the/) [Heidi Cullen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heidi-cullen/) > [What one thing does the world need most today-apart, that is, from the all-inclusive thing we call righteousness? Aren't you inclined to agree that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-c-forbes/what-one-thing-does-the-world-need-most-today-apart-that-is-from-the/) [B. C. Forbes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-c-forbes/) > [ Jowett, in his day, did probably more than any other single man to let some fresh air into the exhausted atmosphere of the \[Oxford\]… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-jowett/jowett-in-his-day-did-probably-more-than-any-other-single-man-to-let/) [Benjamin Jowett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-jowett/) Browse all 1,572 Atmosphere quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't \"win,\" you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't make the atmosphere in the room any better, YOU won't feel any better.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Carolyn Hax" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-retort-stopper-is-that-you-won/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Atmosphere" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-retort-stopper-is-that-you-won/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/carolyn-hax-9229_atmosphere_one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-r_1665577.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't \"win,\" you won't change anyone's…” — Carolyn Hax", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Carolyn Hax", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "One helpful thing to keep in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-retort-stopper-is-that-you-won/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/one-helpful-thing-to-keep-in-mind-as-a-retort-stopper-is-that-you-won/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```