--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When people mentioned it to me, they…" description: "\"“When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were talking about some casual relative of mine. For most people that's what an uncle was. They had ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c3/carol-rifka-brunt-3944_breaking-my-heart_when-people-mentioned-it-to-me-they-thou_558122.jpg" --- # When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were… ![“When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were talking about some casual relative of mine. For most people that's what an uncle was. They had no idea how I felt about Finn. No idea that hearing them talk about AIDS, like that was the important part of the story--more important than who…” quote by Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c3/carol-rifka-brunt-3944_breaking-my-heart_when-people-mentioned-it-to-me-they-thou_558122.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c3/carol-rifka-brunt-3944_breaking-my-heart_when-people-mentioned-it-to-me-they-thou_558122.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c3/carol-rifka-brunt-3944_breaking-my-heart_when-people-mentioned-it-to-me-they-thou_558122.jpg) > ““When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were talking about some casual relative of mine. For most people that's what an uncle was. They had no idea how I felt about Finn. No idea that hearing them talk about AIDS, like that was the important part of the story--more important than who Finn was, or how much I loved him, or how much he was still breaking my heart every single hour of every single day--made me want to scream.”” [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator’s grief over a lost loved one is intensified by others’ casual references, turning private pain into a public scream. **In simple terms:** Hearing others talk about a loved one’s illness can intensify personal grief. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and respect others’ hidden pain. Themes grief family communication empathy Mood empathetic somber Type reflective emotional When to use this quote - counseling - support groups - writing memoirs - family conversations Key Concepts loss spoken silence emotional burden Questions to Reflect On - How can we talk about sensitive topics without causing pain? - What ways can we support someone grieving silently? A Different Perspective Some may find sharing grief overwhelming rather than helpful. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Every single day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/every-single-day/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ## Related quotes > [For years now, people have mentioned my mustache and get disappointed that when they see me live I don't have a mustache.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hari-kondabolu/for-years-now-people-have-mentioned-my-mustache-and-get-disappointed/) [Hari Kondabolu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hari-kondabolu/) > [“By some chance, here they are, all on this earth; and who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth, lying, on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-agee/by-some-chance-here-they-are-all-on-this-earth-and-who-shall-ever-2/) [James Agee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-agee/) > [“He said only, “Bad people. Some very bad people.” Uncle Chris’s mouth flattened into a small, thin line. Then he nodded crisply. He knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meg-cabot/he-said-only-bad-people-some-very-bad-people-uncle-chris-s-mouth/) [Meg Cabot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meg-cabot/) > [When I go to China, people call me 'Uncle Mo' because they refer me as Yao Ming's uncle. I'm pleased to be his uncle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dikembe-mutombo/when-i-go-to-china-people-call-me-uncle-mo-because-they-refer-me-as/) [Dikembe Mutombo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dikembe-mutombo/) > [By some chance, here they are, all on this earth; and who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth, lying, on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-agee/by-some-chance-here-they-are-all-on-this-earth-and-who-shall-ever/) [James Agee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-agee/) > [You'll never get to heaven, if you break my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dionne-warwick/you-ll-never-get-to-heaven-if-you-break-my-heart/) [Dionne Warwick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dionne-warwick/) > [If you come back; I'll marry you. If you break your promise, you'll break my heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/if-you-come-back-i-ll-marry-you-if-you-break-your-promise-you-ll/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [I’m overwhelmed. My biggest downfall is my brightest blessing, I feel too much, all the time. Ya Allah, if it’ll keep my heart soft,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warsan-shire/i-m-overwhelmed-my-biggest-downfall-is-my-brightest-blessing-i-feel/) [Warsan Shire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warsan-shire/) > [Our Southern brethren have done grievously, they have rebelled and have attacked their father's house and their loyal brothers. They must be punished and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anderson/our-southern-brethren-have-done-grievously-they-have-rebelled-and/) [Robert Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anderson/) > [It breaks my heart to think about a family weeping over the loss of a loved one. 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Leaving her screams breaking my heart and in the grip of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cradle-of-filth/lifting-with-truth-and-then-a-golden-flash-like-the-onset-of-heaven/) [Cradle Of Filth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cradle-of-filth/) > [Im sorry if I hurt you, but you hurt me even more by breaking my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/im-sorry-if-i-hurt-you-but-you-hurt-me-even-more-by-breaking-my-heart/) Patience > [Must I go bound while you go free Must I love a manwho doesn't love me Must I be born with so little art…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/must-i-go-bound-while-you-go-free-must-i-love-a-manwho-doesn-t-love/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) ## More by Carol Rifka Brunt > [“There was something so electric about it. So dangerous. Those little touches were everything. I lived fro them. You can build a whole world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/there-was-something-so-electric-about-it-so-dangerous-those-little/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) > [“It seemed like life was a sort of narrowing tunnel. Right when you were born, the tunnel was huge. You could be anything. Then,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/it-seemed-like-life-was-a-sort-of-narrowing-tunnel-right-when-you/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) > [“Opening a present from a live person was scary enough. 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"Look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/things-you-d-never-even-seen-with-finn-could-remind-you-of-him/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) > [“Because maybe I don't want to leave the planet invisible. Maybe I need at least one person to remember something about me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/because-maybe-i-don-t-want-to-leave-the-planet-invisible-maybe-i-need/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) > [I stared hard, trying to find a pattern. Thinking if I kept looking hard enough, maybe the pieces of the world would fit back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/i-stared-hard-trying-to-find-a-pattern-thinking-if-i-kept-looking/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) > [“But maybe I am. Maybe that’s exactly what I am. 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It was good to see how much you could take.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-rifka-brunt/i-thought-it-was-good-to-test-yourself-sometimes-it-was-good-to-see/) [Carol Rifka Brunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) [Explore all 113 Carol Rifka Brunt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-rifka-brunt/) ## More Breaking my heart quotes > [Must I go bound while you go free Must I love a manwho doesn't love me Must I be born with so little art…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/must-i-go-bound-while-you-go-free-must-i-love-a-manwho-doesn-t-love/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [Im sorry if I hurt you, but you hurt me even more by breaking my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/im-sorry-if-i-hurt-you-but-you-hurt-me-even-more-by-breaking-my-heart/) Patience > [Lifting with truth and then a golden flash like the onset of Heaven. Leaving her screams breaking my heart and in the grip of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cradle-of-filth/lifting-with-truth-and-then-a-golden-flash-like-the-onset-of-heaven/) [Cradle Of Filth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cradle-of-filth/) > [“You would have to be loved before you could be changed by it,” she added. “And I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-g-harlen/you-would-have-to-be-loved-before-you-could-be-changed-by-it-she/) [B.G. Harlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-g-harlen/) > [Just because you say 'i still love you' to me doesnt mean I'm going to forgive you for breaking my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole/just-because-you-say-i-still-love-you-to-me-doesnt-mean-i-m-going-to/) [Nicole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole/) > [It breaks my heart to think about a family weeping over the loss of a loved one. I understand the anguish that some feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-p-bush/it-breaks-my-heart-to-think-about-a-family-weeping-over-the-loss-of-a/) [George P. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-p-bush/) > [Our Southern brethren have done grievously, they have rebelled and have attacked their father's house and their loyal brothers. They must be punished and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anderson/our-southern-brethren-have-done-grievously-they-have-rebelled-and/) [Robert Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anderson/) > [I’m overwhelmed. My biggest downfall is my brightest blessing, I feel too much, all the time. Ya Allah, if it’ll keep my heart soft,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warsan-shire/i-m-overwhelmed-my-biggest-downfall-is-my-brightest-blessing-i-feel/) [Warsan Shire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warsan-shire/) > [If you come back; I'll marry you. If you break your promise, you'll break my heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/if-you-come-back-i-ll-marry-you-if-you-break-your-promise-you-ll/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [You'll never get to heaven, if you break my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dionne-warwick/you-ll-never-get-to-heaven-if-you-break-my-heart/) [Dionne Warwick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dionne-warwick/) > [Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/cupcake-you-ve-been-breaking-my-heart-for-as-long-as-i-ve-known-you/) [Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/) > [I know what it's like to have a broken heart. I know what it's like to feel pain: When my songs don't become hits,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-warren/i-know-what-it-s-like-to-have-a-broken-heart-i-know-what-it-s-like-to/) [Diane Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-warren/) > [ The thing that breaks my heart about \[Dennis Wilson\] is that he was very naïve from the beginning to the end. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-longworth/the-thing-that-breaks-my-heart-about-dennis-wilson-is-that-he-was/) [Karina Longworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-longworth/) > [My little girls can break my heart. They can make me cry just looking at them eating their string beans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/my-little-girls-can-break-my-heart-they-can-make-me-cry-just-looking/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [“Thank you for breaking my heart. -- Mia Kirshner”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/smith-magazine/thank-you-for-breaking-my-heart-mia-kirshner/) SMITH Magazine Browse all 169 Breaking my heart quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were talking about some casual relative of mine. For most people that's what an uncle was. They had no idea how I felt about Finn. 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