---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I can talk about my father in ordinary…"
description: "\"“I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation without feeling more than the slightest pang of loss. But if I permit myself to remember him close..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg"
---

#  I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation…

![“I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation without feeling more than the slightest pang of loss. But if I permit myself to remember him closely—his sense of humor, say, or his passionate egalitarianism—the facade crumbles and I want to weep because he is gone. There is no question that…” quote by Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg)

> ““I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation without feeling more than the slightest pang of loss. But if I permit myself to remember him closely—his sense of humor, say, or his passionate egalitarianism—the facade crumbles and I want to weep because he is gone. There is no question that language can almost free us of feeling. Perhaps that is one of its functions—to let us consider the world without in the process becoming entirely overwhelmed by feeling. If so, then the invention of language is simultaneously a blessing and a curse.””

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Language can both distance us from raw emotion and allow us to process loss without being overwhelmed.

**In simple terms:** Language helps manage grief by providing distance.

Key Takeaway

Use language to balance feeling and reflection.

Themes

grief language emotional regulation philosophy

Mood

thoughtful analytical

Type

philosophical psychological

When to use this quote

- personal growth
- therapy
- writing
- conversation
- education

Key Concepts

cognitive distancing communication psychology

Questions to Reflect On

- How can we use language to honor feelings?
- When does language become a barrier?

A Different Perspective

Language may also numb empathy if overused.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Conversation Feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversation-feeling-1649650/) [Feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling/) [Feeling Functions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-functions-1649651/) [Language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language/) [Language Simultaneously](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language-simultaneously-1649652/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Sense of humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sense-of-humor/) [Talk Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talk-father-1024513/)

## Related quotes

> [I calculated the amount of time I spent with my father during my entire life... the total amount of time I had with him,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohammed-reza-pahlavi/i-calculated-the-amount-of-time-i-spent-with-my-father-during-my/)

[Mohammed Reza Pahlavi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohammed-reza-pahlavi/)

> [“How do you small-talk your father when "dad" is a language so foreign that whenever you try to say it, it feels like you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-reynolds/how-do-you-small-talk-your-father-when-dad-is-a-language-so-foreign/)

[Jason Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-reynolds/)

> [It was great to be able to talk to my father, my mother, my friends and my family and everyone who's been supporting me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-acuna-jr/it-was-great-to-be-able-to-talk-to-my-father-my-mother-my-friends-and/)

[Ronald Acuna Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-acuna-jr/)

> [“The woman when she saw him put her arms around him and held him. Oh, she said, I am so glad to see you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cormac-mccarthy/the-woman-when-she-saw-him-put-her-arms-around-him-and-held-him-oh/)

[Cormac McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cormac-mccarthy/)

> [“There is a talk that every father has with his son in which he brings the child to understand that there are ways we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-johnson/there-is-a-talk-that-every-father-has-with-his-son-in-which-he-brings/)

[Adam Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-johnson/)

> [“It's like if someone had a loaded gun in your face. I don't know how else to describe how it felt to try to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-ryan-hyde/it-s-like-if-someone-had-a-loaded-gun-in-your-face-i-don-t-know-how/)

[Catherine Ryan Hyde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-ryan-hyde/)

> [What we need to do is open our eyes, smell the coffee and just understand what the society has become. Today, I can discuss…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anubhav-sinha/what-we-need-to-do-is-open-our-eyes-smell-the-coffee-and-just/)

[Anubhav Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anubhav-sinha/)

> [“Betsy liked to talk. Her father always said she got it from her mother, and her mother always said she got it from her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maud-hart-lovelace/betsy-liked-to-talk-her-father-always-said-she-got-it-from-her-mother/)

[Maud Hart Lovelace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maud-hart-lovelace/)

> [Just talk to me as a father - not what the Constitution says. What do you feel?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/just-talk-to-me-as-a-father-not-what-the-constitution-says-what-do/)

[Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/)

> [Throughout my journey in basketball, I always have someone to talk to in my father. I know how hard he had to work as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joakim-noah/throughout-my-journey-in-basketball-i-always-have-someone-to-talk-to/)

[Joakim Noah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joakim-noah/)

> [I could never, ever talk to my father. I really loved him, but we couldn't talk about anything together. There was this really British…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-bowie/i-could-never-ever-talk-to-my-father-i-really-loved-him-but-we-couldn/)

[David Bowie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-bowie/)

> [You are a child of God your Father in Heaven, he created the Heavens &amp; the Earth, yes that is your real Father. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-rambharack/you-are-a-child-of-god-your-father-in-heaven-he-created-the-heavens/)

[Glen Rambharack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-rambharack/)

> [“I almost congratulate myself that I can at least laugh at my own foibles and enjoy the joke, just as I cannot help, cynically…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-e-baker/i-almost-congratulate-myself-that-i-can-at-least-laugh-at-my-own/)

[Wallace E. Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-e-baker/)

> [I love being my silly ole self! Lifes a lot better when you have a good sense of humor and you smile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-being-my-silly-ole-self-lifes-a-lot-better-when-you-have-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhoda-janzen/in-my-opinion-sexiness-comes-down-to-three-things-chemistry-sense-of/)

[Rhoda Janzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhoda-janzen/)

## More by Carl Sagan

> [It is sometimes said that scientists are unromantic, that their passion to figure out robs the world of beauty and mystery. But is it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/it-is-sometimes-said-that-scientists-are-unromantic-that-their/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [The prediction of nuclear winter is drawn not, of course, from any direct experience with the consequences of global nuclear war, but rather from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/the-prediction-of-nuclear-winter-is-drawn-not-of-course-from-any/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [The suppression of uncomfortable ideas may be common in religion or in politics, but it is not the path to knowledge; it has no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/the-suppression-of-uncomfortable-ideas-may-be-common-in-religion-or/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [“Telepathy’ literally means to feel at a distance, just as ‘telephone’ is to hear at a distance and ‘television’ is to see at a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/telepathy-literally-means-to-feel-at-a-distance-just-as-telephone-is/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [“On the scale of worlds—to say nothing of stars or galaxies—humans are inconsequential, a thin film of life on an obscure and solitary lump…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/on-the-scale-of-worlds-to-say-nothing-of-stars-or-galaxies-humans-are/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/every-one-of-us-is-in-the-cosmic-perspective-precious-if-a-human/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [In our time, we have sifted the sands of Mars, we have established a presence there, we have fulfilled a century of dreams!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/in-our-time-we-have-sifted-the-sands-of-mars-we-have-established-a/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [ “\[ When a religious couple wrote to Sagan about fulfilled prophecies, he wrote back in May 1996 :\] If ‘fulfilled prophecy’ is your criterion,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/when-a-religious-couple-wrote-to-sagan-about-fulfilled-prophecies-he/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [Don't judge everyone else by your own limited experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/don-t-judge-everyone-else-by-your-own-limited-experience/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [“Books permit us to voyage through time, to tap the wisdom of our ancestors. The library connects us with the insight and knowledge, painfully…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/books-permit-us-to-voyage-through-time-to-tap-the-wisdom-of-our/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [We live on a hunk of rock and metal that circles a humdrum star that is one of 400 billion other stars that make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/we-live-on-a-hunk-of-rock-and-metal-that-circles-a-humdrum-star-that/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [A tiny blue dot set in a sunbeam. Here it is. That's where we live. That's home. We humans are one species and this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/a-tiny-blue-dot-set-in-a-sunbeam-here-it-is-that-s-where-we-live-that/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [Any sufficiently crisp question can be answered by a single binary digit-0 or 1, yes or no.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/any-sufficiently-crisp-question-can-be-answered-by-a-single-binary/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [Humans — who enslave, castrate, experiment on, and fillet other animals — have had an understandable penchant for pretending animals do not feel pain.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/humans-who-enslave-castrate-experiment-on-and-fillet-other-animals/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

> [Every star may be a sun to someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/every-star-may-be-a-sun-to-someone/)

[Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

[Explore all 1,043 Carl Sagan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/)

## More Communication quotes

> [Some people still believe you should just fall in line with what's going on - and that's scary. It makes a mockery of freedom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-robison/some-people-still-believe-you-should-just-fall-in-line-with-what-s/)

[Emily Robison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-robison/)

> [The problem posed by indirect speech acts is the problem of how it is possible for the speaker to say one thing and mean…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-searle/the-problem-posed-by-indirect-speech-acts-is-the-problem-of-how-it-is/)

[John Searle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-searle/)

> [We should have a conversation when we hang up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benedict-cumberbatch/we-should-have-a-conversation-when-we-hang-up/)

[Benedict Cumberbatch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benedict-cumberbatch/)

> [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [A poet is wounded into speech, and he examines these wounds, meticulously, to discover how to heal them. The bad poet harangues at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-r-delany/a-poet-is-wounded-into-speech-and-he-examines-these-wounds/)

[Samuel R. Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-r-delany/)

> [“To engage in dialogue is to serve others via whatever is real inside you; to engage in debate is to ultimately serve the illusions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oli-anderson/to-engage-in-dialogue-is-to-serve-others-via-whatever-is-real-inside/)

[Oli Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oli-anderson/)

> [What it comes down to for me is this: Will the technologies of communication in our culture, serve to enlighten us and help us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-waters/what-it-comes-down-to-for-me-is-this-will-the-technologies-of/)

[Roger Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-waters/)

> [In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-dialogue-there-is-opposition-yes-but-no-head-on-collision-smashing/)

[Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/)

> [A dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jiddu-krishnamurti/a-dialogue-is-very-important-it-is-a-form-of-communication-in-which/)

[Jiddu Krishnamurti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jiddu-krishnamurti/)

> [I get afraid of the dark if I'm in a great deal of dark, and I have to move around inside of that fear...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emil-ferris/i-get-afraid-of-the-dark-if-i-m-in-a-great-deal-of-dark-and-i-have-to/)

[Emil Ferris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emil-ferris/)

> [I've been in a serious conversation with one of my children, and a fan has come up. I've been in a public bathroom and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-reddy/i-ve-been-in-a-serious-conversation-with-one-of-my-children-and-a-fan/)

[Helen Reddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-reddy/)

> [Life as we know it is fundamentally unsatisfying. I think most folks feel this to be true. They know that a life of aimless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-yates/life-as-we-know-it-is-fundamentally-unsatisfying-i-think-most-folks/)

[Michael Yates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-yates/)

> [Disability, in general, hasn't been included in the conversation about inclusivity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-winston-george/disability-in-general-hasn-t-been-included-in-the-conversation-about/)

[Jason Winston George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-winston-george/)

> [“Women will be at least 50 percent of the communications community workforce … from executive suite to interns. Why? The “integrated” agency will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yoram-wind/women-will-be-at-least-50-percent-of-the-communications-community/)

[Yoram Wind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yoram-wind/)

> [There are certain things you must not say in spite of the fact that supposedly democracy means free speech. No. You are not allowed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-eubank-sr/there-are-certain-things-you-must-not-say-in-spite-of-the-fact-that/)

[Chris Eubank Sr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-eubank-sr/)

[Browse all 21,506 Communication quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation without feeling more than the slightest pang of loss. But if I permit myself to remember him closely—his sense of humor, say, or his passionate egalitarianism—the facade crumbles and I want to weep because he is gone. There is no question that language can almost free us of feeling. Perhaps that is one of its functions—to let us consider the world without in the process becoming entirely overwhelmed by feeling. If so, then the invention of language is simultaneously a blessing and a curse.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Carl Sagan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-conversation-without-feeling/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Communication"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-conversation-without-feeling/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/carl-sagan-160_communication_i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-c_147424.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I can talk about my father in ordinary conversation without feeling more than the slightest pang of loss…” — Carl Sagan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Carl Sagan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“I can talk about my father...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-conversation-without-feeling/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/i-can-talk-about-my-father-in-ordinary-conversation-without-feeling/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
