--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly…" description: "\"“I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly, each one was a disappointment. There was nothing horribly wrong with these boys. It was my fault. I’m kind of..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/candace-bushnell-1562_boyfriends_i-ve-had-boyfriends-before-and-frankly-e_5396.jpg" --- # I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly, each one was a… ![“I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly, each one was a disappointment. There was nothing horribly wrong with these boys. It was my fault. I’m kind of a snob when it comes to guys. So far, the biggest problem with the boys I’ve dated is that they weren’t too smart. And eventually I ended up hating…” quote by Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/candace-bushnell-1562_boyfriends_i-ve-had-boyfriends-before-and-frankly-e_5396.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/candace-bushnell-1562_boyfriends_i-ve-had-boyfriends-before-and-frankly-e_5396.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/candace-bushnell-1562_boyfriends_i-ve-had-boyfriends-before-and-frankly-e_5396.jpg) > ““I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly, each one was a disappointment. There was nothing horribly wrong with these boys. It was my fault. I’m kind of a snob when it comes to guys. So far, the biggest problem with the boys I’ve dated is that they weren’t too smart. And eventually I ended up hating myself for being with them. It scared me, trying to pretend I was something I wasn’t. I could see how easily it could be done, and it made me realize that was what most of the other girls were doing as well—pretending. If you were a girl, you could start pretending in high school and go on pretending your whole life, until, I suppose, you imploded and had a nervous breakdown, which is something that’s happened to a few of the mothers around here. All of a sudden, one day something snaps and they don’t get out of bed for three years.”” [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker reveals a pattern of settling for intellectually unsatisfying partners, leading to self‑deception and eventual emotional collapse, highlighting the cost of inauthenticity. **In simple terms:** Pretending to be someone else in relationships causes deep distress. Key Takeaway Authenticity matters in love. Themes relationships self‑deception authenticity mental health Mood melancholic cautionary Type reflective personal When to use this quote - dating life - career networking - social media personas - family expectations Key Concepts identity conflict social pressure Practical Applications - Practice honest self‑assessment before committing - Seek partners who value intellectual compatibility Questions to Reflect On - What values are you willing to compromise on? - How can you recognize early signs of inauthentic relationships? A Different Perspective Some may argue that compromise is necessary; however, chronic compromise erodes self‑esteem. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Boyfriends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boyfriends/) [High school](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/high-school/) [Nervous breakdown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nervous-breakdown/) ## Related quotes > [“always get it so wrong with boys . . . with men, Lily.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-driscoll/always-get-it-so-wrong-with-boys-with-men-lily/) [Teresa Driscoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-driscoll/) > [Not all boys are unfaithful, sometimes the girls are just putting her faith on wrong boys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/not-all-boys-are-unfaithful-sometimes-the-girls-are-just-putting-her/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Guys need to realize that girls have fragile hearts...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/guys-need-to-realize-that-girls-have-fragile-hearts/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I don't get a whole lot out of the romance thing, but I realize girls do. 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Problem with girls- They make you think they dont love you,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shubhi-sharma/problem-with-boys-they-make-you-think-they-love-you-when-they-dont/) [Shubhi Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shubhi-sharma/) > [“The problem with boys your age is that they're your age.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-bennett/the-problem-with-boys-your-age-is-that-they-re-your-age/) Karen Bennett > [Boys get unfairly labeled as morally defective, hyperactive, undisciplined, or 'problem children,' when quite often the problem is not with the boys but with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-gurian/boys-get-unfairly-labeled-as-morally-defective-hyperactive/) [Michael Gurian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-gurian/) > [“The whole problem with boys is that ninety-nine percent of them are, like, okay. If you could dress and hygiene them properly, and make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-whole-problem-with-boys-is-that-ninety-nine-percent-of-them-are/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“He’s in that vast boy middle,” she said. “Like, good-looking enough that I’m willing to be won over. The whole problem with boys is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/he-s-in-that-vast-boy-middle-she-said-like-good-looking-enough-that-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Problem with BOYS:'They make you think they love you when they don't.' Problem with GIRLS:'They make u think they don't love you when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhishek-tiwari/problem-with-boys-they-make-you-think-they-love-you-when-they-don-t/) [Abhishek Tiwari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhishek-tiwari/) > [Everybody faces obstacles. And I looked to people who had been through many to succeed in life. 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They do not respond to nervous breakdowns and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leslie-moonves/i-understand-why-creative-people-like-dark-but-american-audiences/) [Leslie Moonves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leslie-moonves/) > [When Mom had her first nervous breakdown, she said she had a vision of Christ coming to her in the living room.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/spalding-gray/when-mom-had-her-first-nervous-breakdown-she-said-she-had-a-vision-of/) [Spalding Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/spalding-gray/) ## More by Candace Bushnell > [Some secrets are better left at that -as secrets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/some-secrets-are-better-left-at-that-as-secrets/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [We hate guys who date more than one woman at a time. 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After a while, you don't even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/all-those-men-who-end-up-disappointing-you-after-a-while-you-don-t/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/i-do-not-pick-the-wrong-guys-they-pick-me/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [I'm not ashamed of anything I've done. Shame is a useless emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/i-m-not-ashamed-of-anything-i-ve-done-shame-is-a-useless-emotion/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [“I will not listen to you, or anybody else. Because you know what? Everyone think they know so goddamned much about everything and no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/i-will-not-listen-to-you-or-anybody-else-because-you-know-what/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [Rule number one: Why is it that the one time a cute guy talks to you, you have a friend who's in crisis?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/rule-number-one-why-is-it-that-the-one-time-a-cute-guy-talks-to-you/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [The fact that a man is open to being with an older woman suggests that he doesn't give a hang what other people think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/the-fact-that-a-man-is-open-to-being-with-an-older-woman-suggests/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [“A man came up to her. Expensively tailored suit. Okay, he wasn't exactly a man because he was only thirty-five. But he was trying.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/a-man-came-up-to-her-expensively-tailored-suit-okay-he-wasn-t-exactly/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) [Explore all 226 Candace Bushnell quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) ## More Boyfriends quotes > [Ex boyfriends, are like an old pair of shoes. You know that you don't need them anymore but you don't have the heart to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ex-boyfriends-are-like-an-old-pair-of-shoes-you-know-that-you-don-t/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A lot of times I play a fat woman with cats who has no boyfriends. And in real life, I'm allergic to cats and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-baker/a-lot-of-times-i-play-a-fat-woman-with-cats-who-has-no-boyfriends-and/) [Sarah Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-baker/) > [My main interest was finding boyfriends. 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