--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Planning a wedding is hell. Things are…" description: "\"Planning a wedding is hell. Things are said. Doors are slammed. Quarrels about the most inconsequential things--yellow tablecloths or white? hors d'oeu..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/814/caitlin-flanagan-24287_anxiety_planning-a-wedding-is-hell-things-are-sa_873064.jpg" --- # Planning a wedding is hell. Things are said. Doors are… ![“Planning a wedding is hell. Things are said. Doors are slammed. Quarrels about the most inconsequential things--yellow tablecloths or white? hors d'oeuvres set out on tables or passed around on trays?--are often pitched at such a level that it seems the combatants may never recover from them. Much…” quote by Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/814/caitlin-flanagan-24287_anxiety_planning-a-wedding-is-hell-things-are-sa_873064.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/814/caitlin-flanagan-24287_anxiety_planning-a-wedding-is-hell-things-are-sa_873064.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/814/caitlin-flanagan-24287_anxiety_planning-a-wedding-is-hell-things-are-sa_873064.jpg) > “Planning a wedding is hell. Things are said. Doors are slammed. Quarrels about the most inconsequential things--yellow tablecloths or white? hors d'oeuvres set out on tables or passed around on trays?--are often pitched at such a level that it seems the combatants may never recover from them. Much of the anxiety, of course, is tribal. It is wrenching to have to open the sacred circle to admit an outsider.” [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Wedding planning can become a battleground over trivial details, revealing deeper anxieties about inclusion and tradition. **In simple terms:** Planning a wedding can turn minor choices into big fights, exposing deeper worries. Key Takeaway Focus on core values, not minor details. Themes relationships tradition conflict community Mood anxious reflective Type cultural social When to use this quote - wedding planning - family gatherings - team projects - conflict resolution Key Concepts social dynamics rituals group identity Questions to Reflect On - What truly matters in a shared celebration? - How can we honor tradition while staying inclusive? A Different Perspective Obsessing over minutiae can damage relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Circles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/circles/) [Courses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courses/) [Doors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doors/) [Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/) [Inconsequential](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inconsequential/) [Levels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/levels/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/may/) [Outsiders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/outsiders/) [Planning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/planning/) [Planning Wedding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/planning-wedding-648620/) [Quarrels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/quarrels/) [Quarrels Inconsequential](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/quarrels-inconsequential-972568/) [Sacred](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sacred/) [Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/) [Seems](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seems/) [Tables](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tables/) [Trays](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trays/) [Tribal Wrenching](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tribal-wrenching-972567/) [Wedding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wedding/) [Wedding Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wedding-hell-972566/) [White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/white/) [Yellow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yellow/) ## Related quotes > [Come on, planning a wedding, let's be honest, it's not fun. It's not fun being in a wedding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendi-mclendon-covey/come-on-planning-a-wedding-let-s-be-honest-it-s-not-fun-it-s-not-fun/) [Wendi McLendon-Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendi-mclendon-covey/) > [Planning a wedding - especially a destination wedding - is so much harder than I realized.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stassi-schroeder/planning-a-wedding-especially-a-destination-wedding-is-so-much-harder/) [Stassi Schroeder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stassi-schroeder/) > [Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding - yikes!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/niecy-nash/falling-in-love-was-the-easy-part-planning-a-wedding-yikes/) [Niecy Nash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/niecy-nash/) > [I dont want to get married right now. Some people want to get marriedwhatever. I really dont think about it. Im not the type…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-stewart/i-dont-want-to-get-married-right-now-some-people-want-to-get/) [Kristen Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-stewart/) > [At first, when we got engaged, I asked him if we could just go to Vegas and get married by Elvis, just because I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/italia-ricci/at-first-when-we-got-engaged-i-asked-him-if-we-could-just-go-to-vegas/) [Italia Ricci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/italia-ricci/) > [“Be my guest,” she whispered through a tight smile. “If you’d rather be planning a wedding than a militia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/be-my-guest-she-whispered-through-a-tight-smile-if-you-d-rather-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mimi-pond/remember-when-you-were-eleven-years-old-and-you-thought-how-great-it/) [Mimi Pond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mimi-pond/) > [I got married in October 2019, so all of 2019, I was planning my wedding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-long/i-got-married-in-october-2019-so-all-of-2019-i-was-planning-my-wedding/) [Jessica Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-long/) > [Planning a wedding seems easy, but there are a lot of details to think of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-mizanin/planning-a-wedding-seems-easy-but-there-are-a-lot-of-details-to-think/) [Maryse Mizanin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-mizanin/) > [Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zig-ziglar/many-people-spend-more-time-in-planning-the-wedding-than-they-do-in/) [Zig Ziglar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zig-ziglar/) > [When planning your wedding you make so many decisions: 'Do I want this fork or that fork?' But in the end people aren't going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lara-stone/when-planning-your-wedding-you-make-so-many-decisions-do-i-want-this/) [Lara Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lara-stone/) > [Planning my wedding and stuff, there's going to be reasons why people weren't there and nobody knows about why they're not going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-pivarnick/planning-my-wedding-and-stuff-there-s-going-to-be-reasons-why-people/) [Angelina Pivarnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-pivarnick/) > [Perriwickturned to Penelope as he set the tray down on a table. "If I might be so bold, my lady-" "Perriwick!" Blake roared. "If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/perriwickturned-to-penelope-as-he-set-the-tray-down-on-a-table-if-i/) [Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/) > [Sometimes there's nothing but Sundays for weeks on end. Why can't they move Sunday to the middle of the week so you could put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-hoban/sometimes-there-s-nothing-but-sundays-for-weeks-on-end-why-can-t-they/) [Russell Hoban](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-hoban/) > [I just want to make a tray of good tofu. If people want something else, they should go to the restaurants and shops.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yasujiro-ozu/i-just-want-to-make-a-tray-of-good-tofu-if-people-want-something-else/) [Yasujiro Ozu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yasujiro-ozu/) ## More by Caitlin Flanagan > [Mothers ... would do anything to steer their daughter the right way. It is frustrating beyond measure for them when a daughter screams, 'You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/mothers-would-do-anything-to-steer-their-daughter-the-right-way-it-is/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Girls are really looking to places that have limits and boundaries: where adults are the adults and there are rules, and where they feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/girls-are-really-looking-to-places-that-have-limits-and-boundaries/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [In many respects a teenage girl's home is more important to her than at any time since she was a small child. She also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/in-many-respects-a-teenage-girl-s-home-is-more-important-to-her-than/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Girls are the best readers in the world. Reading is really a way of kind of escaping so deeply into yourself and pursuing your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/girls-are-the-best-readers-in-the-world-reading-is-really-a-way-of/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [“There is a paradox at the heart of contemporary Girl Land, and this paradox makes the emotional experience of female adolescence more intense and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/there-is-a-paradox-at-the-heart-of-contemporary-girl-land-and-this/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Divorce in a young-adult novel means what being orphaned meant in a fairy tale: vulnerability, danger, unwanted independence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/divorce-in-a-young-adult-novel-means-what-being-orphaned-meant-in-a/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [I come from an immigrant culture. I'm only a couple of generations away from having been a servant girl myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/i-come-from-an-immigrant-culture-i-m-only-a-couple-of-generations/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Keeping a diary is like closing your bedroom door and refusing to come out until dinnertime: it is a declaration of self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/keeping-a-diary-is-like-closing-your-bedroom-door-and-refusing-to/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Pubescent girls, it seems, are manifestly more likely to exhibit extreme and bizarre psychological symptoms than are teenage boys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/pubescent-girls-it-seems-are-manifestly-more-likely-to-exhibit/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [If you're a writer, you just keep following the path - keep going deeper and deeper into the things that interest you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/if-you-re-a-writer-you-just-keep-following-the-path-keep-going-deeper/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [My mother was very involved with Cesar Chavez's work on behalf of the migrant farm workers in California.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/my-mother-was-very-involved-with-cesar-chavez-s-work-on-behalf-of-the/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [“Becoming a woman is an act partly of nature and partly of self-invention; Girl Land is the place and time in which all of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/becoming-a-woman-is-an-act-partly-of-nature-and-partly-of-self/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [What the altar-bound of today end up buying from their numberless vendors is a dog's breakfast of bridal excess - part society wedding of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/what-the-altar-bound-of-today-end-up-buying-from-their-numberless/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [Marriage remains the most efficient engine of disenchantment yet invented.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/marriage-remains-the-most-efficient-engine-of-disenchantment-yet/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) > [To really love Joan Didion—to have been blown over by things like the smell of jasmine and the packing list she kept by her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-flanagan/to-really-love-joan-didion-to-have-been-blown-over-by-things-like-the/) [Caitlin Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) [Explore all 24 Caitlin Flanagan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-flanagan/) ## More Anxiety quotes > [“Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagisa-tatsumi/anything-that-you-find-yourself-worrying-about-regularly-may-find-you/) [Nagisa Tatsumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nagisa-tatsumi/) > [Bein Crazy is the least of my worries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/bein-crazy-is-the-least-of-my-worries/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) > [The answer to deep anxiety is the deep adoration of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/the-answer-to-deep-anxiety-is-the-deep-adoration-of-god/) [Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/) > [“Fear of seeing a police car pull into the drive. Fear of falling asleep at night. Fear of not falling asleep. Fear of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-carver/fear-of-seeing-a-police-car-pull-into-the-drive-fear-of-falling/) [Raymond Carver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-carver/) > [I get nervous when I don't get nervous. If I'm nervous I know I'm going to have a good show.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beyonce-knowles/i-get-nervous-when-i-don-t-get-nervous-if-i-m-nervous-i-know-i-m/) [Beyonce Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beyonce-knowles/) > [“Every invention comes through anxiousness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rakesh-wadhwani/every-invention-comes-through-anxiousness/) [Rakesh Wadhwani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rakesh-wadhwani/) > [“Do Not Be Anxious 25 e “Therefore I tell you,  f do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-not-be-anxious-25-e-therefore-i-tell-you-f-do-not-be-anxious-about/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Nothing happens on its own, you have to make things happen. If you really want to come out of your stressful situation than you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/subodh-gupta/nothing-happens-on-its-own-you-have-to-make-things-happen-if-you/) [Subodh Gupta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/subodh-gupta/) > [“I guess if we're talking about my anxiety, the even truthier truth is it started way before that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-winfrey/i-guess-if-we-re-talking-about-my-anxiety-the-even-truthier-truth-is/) [Kerry Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-winfrey/) > [I was a very good student. Procrastinating gives me anxiety, and getting a B really ticked me off. Sure, I didn't always want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josie-loren/i-was-a-very-good-student-procrastinating-gives-me-anxiety-and/) [Josie Loren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josie-loren/) > [“The suspense: the fearful, acute suspense: of standing idly by while the life of one we dearly love, is trembling in the balance; the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/the-suspense-the-fearful-acute-suspense-of-standing-idly-by-while-the/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [The party in Alobar’s head, which agitation and anxiety were throwing, now was crashed by a notion: existence can be rearranged.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/the-party-in-alobar-s-head-which-agitation-and-anxiety-were-throwing/) [Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/) > [As you know, I have been very open about my struggle with social anxiety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/summer-walker/as-you-know-i-have-been-very-open-about-my-struggle-with-social/) [Summer Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/summer-walker/) > [Anxiety is not to be managed it is a sin that needs to be repented of](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-driscoll/anxiety-is-not-to-be-managed-it-is-a-sin-that-needs-to-be-repented-of/) [Mark Driscoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-driscoll/) > [“I’ve always seen this in you, ever since you were a little girl — this hunger to love other people into their highest selves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-elisabeth/i-ve-always-seen-this-in-you-ever-since-you-were-a-little-girl-this/) [Jennifer Elisabeth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-elisabeth/) [Browse all 4,944 Anxiety quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Planning a wedding is hell. 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