---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The question is: how do we get to be that…"
description: "\"“The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who is facing his own death with complete calm, ready to get on with the moving-on.”\" — Caitlin..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg"
---

#  The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who…

![“The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who is facing his own death with complete calm, ready to get on with the moving-on.” quote by Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg)

> ““The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who is facing his own death with complete calm, ready to get on with the moving-on.””

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Facing death calmly requires becoming the person who accepts mortality and moves forward without fear.

**In simple terms:** Accept death to live fully.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate calm acceptance of mortality.

Themes

mortality acceptance personal growth

Mood

reflective serene

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- end‑of‑life care
- personal crises
- career transitions

Key Concepts

existentialism mindfulness resilience

Questions to Reflect On

- What practices help you stay calm in crisis?
- How does confronting death change daily choices?

A Different Perspective

Calm acceptance may be unrealistic for many.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Calm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calm/) [Calm Ready](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calm-ready-346180/) [Death Complete](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death-complete-2067296/) [Facing death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facing-death/) [Peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peace/) [Question Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/question-guy-2067297/)

## Related quotes

> [His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eminem/his-palms-are-sweaty-knees-weak-arms-are-heavy-there-s-vomit-on-his-2/)

[Eminem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eminem/)

> [I have tactics that calm me down and mellow me out so I go in to the game calm and ready instead of punching…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonjo-shelvey/i-have-tactics-that-calm-me-down-and-mellow-me-out-so-i-go-in-to-the/)

[Jonjo Shelvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonjo-shelvey/)

> [Death is not complete annihilation. It is a pause. It is like pressing the pause button on a tape recorder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mata-amritanandamayi/death-is-not-complete-annihilation-it-is-a-pause-it-is-like-pressing/)

[Mata Amritanandamayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mata-amritanandamayi/)

> [People after death become complete again. The blind can see, the deaf can hear, cripples are no longer crippled after all their vital signs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elisabeth-kubler-ross/people-after-death-become-complete-again-the-blind-can-see-the-deaf/)

[Elisabeth Kubler-Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elisabeth-kubler-ross/)

> [I tried to think about these two issues very freely. With sex, I think I can manage with that. With death, this is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pedro-almodovar/i-tried-to-think-about-these-two-issues-very-freely-with-sex-i-think/)

[Pedro Almodovar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pedro-almodovar/)

> [“Valdivia's actions symbolize man's indefatigable thirst to take control of a place where he can exercise total authority. That phrase, attributed to Caesar, proclaiming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernesto-guevara/valdivia-s-actions-symbolize-man-s-indefatigable-thirst-to-take/)

[Ernesto Guevara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernesto-guevara/)

> [“I struggled, while facing my own death, to rebuild my old life—or perhaps find a new one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-kalanithi/i-struggled-while-facing-my-own-death-to-rebuild-my-old-life-or/)

[Paul Kalanithi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-kalanithi/)

> [“The small Japanese immortal sat cross-legged, his two swords resting flat on the ground before him. He folded his hands in his lap, closed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-scott/the-small-japanese-immortal-sat-cross-legged-his-two-swords-resting/)

[Michael Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-scott/)

> [You're already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-jobs/you-re-already-naked-there-is-no-reason-not-to-follow-your-heart/)

[Steve Jobs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-jobs/)

> [“There is such a tremendous need for spiritual guidance for those who are facing death, as a patient or with a loved one. Emotions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megory-anderson/there-is-such-a-tremendous-need-for-spiritual-guidance-for-those-who/)

[Megory Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megory-anderson/)

> [Facing my own death brought an instant sense of clarity and purpose.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-shadyac/facing-my-own-death-brought-an-instant-sense-of-clarity-and-purpose/)

[Tom Shadyac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-shadyac/)

> [Why exactly are we so frightened of death that we avoid looking at it altogether? Somewhere, deep down, we know we cannot avoid facing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sogyal-rinpoche/why-exactly-are-we-so-frightened-of-death-that-we-avoid-looking-at-it/)

[Sogyal Rinpoche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sogyal-rinpoche/)

> [Isn’t it sad that so often it takes facing death to appreciate life and each other fully?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-earl/isn-t-it-sad-that-so-often-it-takes-facing-death-to-appreciate-life/)

[Esther Earl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-earl/)

> [“Each time we come to savasana, we practice dying—we surrender the body to the earth and prepare for our destiny in this life. Facing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darren-main/each-time-we-come-to-savasana-we-practice-dying-we-surrender-the-body/)

[Darren Main](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darren-main/)

> [You are facing death and danger and competition, but at any moment, you can decide to have a fearless mindset.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-greene/you-are-facing-death-and-danger-and-competition-but-at-any-moment-you/)

[Robert Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-greene/)

## More by Caitlin Doughty

> [“Dead people look very, very dead. It is difficult to grasp what that means, since it’s unlikely that any of us will stumble across…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/dead-people-look-very-very-dead-it-is-difficult-to-grasp-what-that/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“The most salacious stories—bones ground in a metal blender or torture-spike eye caps—had the power to disrupt people’s polite complacency about death. Rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-most-salacious-stories-bones-ground-in-a-metal-blender-or-torture/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“We do not (and will not) have the resources to properly care for our increasing elderly population, yet we insist on medical intervention to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/we-do-not-and-will-not-have-the-resources-to-properly-care-for-our/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“He explained that he talks about death "all the time" with his friends. They ask each other, "Hey, what you want when you die?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/he-explained-that-he-talks-about-death-all-the-time-with-his-friends/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Many children and grandchildren of immigrants, have, like Sarah, found themselves severed from their family’s cultural rituals. The funeral system in the United States…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/many-children-and-grandchildren-of-immigrants-have-like-sarah-found/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“I have come to believe that the merits of a death custom are not based on mathematics (e.g., 36.7 percent a "barbarous act"), but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/i-have-come-to-believe-that-the-merits-of-a-death-custom-are-not/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“It was death that the public was being cheated out of by the funeral industry, not money. The realistic interaction with death and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/it-was-death-that-the-public-was-being-cheated-out-of-by-the-funeral/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Exposing a young child to the realities of love and death is far less dangerous than exposing them to the lie of the happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/exposing-a-young-child-to-the-realities-of-love-and-death-is-far-less/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Rather than let author and environmentalist Edward Abbey be buried in a traditional cemetery, his friends stole his body, wrapped it in a sleeping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/rather-than-let-author-and-environmentalist-edward-abbey-be-buried-in/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“The ICU was not the thrill ride I had expected. Turns out, they never called the high school student in from the reception desk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-icu-was-not-the-thrill-ride-i-had-expected-turns-out-they-never/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Death should be known. Known as a difficult mental, physical, and emotional process, respected and feared for what it is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/death-should-be-known-known-as-a-difficult-mental-physical-and/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Untreated, a dead person’s face looks horrific, at least by our very narrow cultural expectations. Their droopy, open eyes cloud over in a vacant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/untreated-a-dead-person-s-face-looks-horrific-at-least-by-our-very/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“It is worth noting that the main players in the recomposition project are women—scientists, anthropologists, lawyers, architects. Educated women, who have the privilege to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/it-is-worth-noting-that-the-main-players-in-the-recomposition-project/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“Death might appear to destroy the meaning in our lives, but in fact it is the very source of our creativity. As Kafka said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/death-might-appear-to-destroy-the-meaning-in-our-lives-but-in-fact-it/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

> [“As a general rule, if anyone ever asks you to put stockings on a ninety-year-old deceased Romanian woman with edema, your answer should be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/as-a-general-rule-if-anyone-ever-asks-you-to-put-stockings-on-a/)

[Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

[Explore all 56 Caitlin Doughty quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/)

## More Calm quotes

> [Grandma, please. It’s okay. Dad’s doing a great job. I give him kudos for at least being calm and rational, and not losing his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/grandma-please-it-s-okay-dad-s-doing-a-great-job-i-give-him-kudos-for/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

> [You practice mindfulness, on the one hand, to be calm and peaceful. On the other hand, as you practice mindfulness and live a life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-practice-mindfulness-on-the-one-hand-to-be-calm-and-peaceful-on/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“After the storm, reigns the calm.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simdi-onuora/after-the-storm-reigns-the-calm/)

[Simdi Onuora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simdi-onuora/)

> [So mightiest powers buy deepest calms are fed, And sleep, how oft, in things that gentlest be!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryan-procter/so-mightiest-powers-buy-deepest-calms-are-fed-and-sleep-how-oft-in/)

[Bryan Procter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryan-procter/)

> [KEEP CALM and HAVE A SUGAR CUBE](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/keep-calm-and-have-a-sugar-cube/)

[Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/)

> [To practice Aikido fully you must calm the spirit and go back to the origin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morihei-ueshiba/to-practice-aikido-fully-you-must-calm-the-spirit-and-go-back-to-the/)

[Morihei Ueshiba](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morihei-ueshiba/)

> [You imagine that I look back on my life's work with calm satisfaction. But from nearby it looks quite different. There is not a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/you-imagine-that-i-look-back-on-my-life-s-work-with-calm-satisfaction/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

> [Don't get divorced after your first argument! I have a lot of friends that have one fight and that's it, they get divorced. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-ripa/don-t-get-divorced-after-your-first-argument-i-have-a-lot-of-friends/)

[Kelly Ripa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-ripa/)

> [The goal of the operation is to send Gaza back to the Middle Ages, only then will Israel be calm for the next 40 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-ben-ari/the-goal-of-the-operation-is-to-send-gaza-back-to-the-middle-ages/)

[Michael Ben-Ari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-ben-ari/)

> [No physiologist who calmly considers the question in connection with the general truths of his science, can long resist the conviction that different parts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbert-spencer/no-physiologist-who-calmly-considers-the-question-in-connection-with/)

[Herbert Spencer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbert-spencer/)

> [When I was a child I truly loved: Unthinking love as calm and deep As the North Sea. But I have lived, And now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gardner/when-i-was-a-child-i-truly-loved-unthinking-love-as-calm-and-deep-as/)

[John Gardner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gardner/)

> [~Keep Calm and Swagger On~](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/im-nothing/keep-calm-and-swagger-on/)

[Im Nothing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/im-nothing/)

> [Ride your horse calm, forward and then make him straight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-zettl/ride-your-horse-calm-forward-and-then-make-him-straight/)

[Walter Zettl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-zettl/)

> [Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. With this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/life-appears-to-me-too-short-to-be-spent-in-nursing-animosity-or/)

[Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/)

> [Religious work is one of the best ways to keep from facing your reality if you are Christian, if you are using it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-miller/religious-work-is-one-of-the-best-ways-to-keep-from-facing-your/)

[Keith Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-miller/)

[Browse all 3,074 Calm quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calm/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who is facing his own death with complete calm, ready to get on with the moving-on.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Caitlin Doughty"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that-guy-the-one-who-is-facing/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Calm"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that-guy-the-one-who-is-facing/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9be/caitlin-doughty-12025_peace_the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that_1805236.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“The question is: how do we get to be that guy? The one who is facing his own death with complete calm, ready…” — Caitlin Doughty",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Caitlin Doughty",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“The question is: how do we...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that-guy-the-one-who-is-facing/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-question-is-how-do-we-get-to-be-that-guy-the-one-who-is-facing/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
