--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: By not talking about death with our loved…" description: "\"“By not talking about death with our loved ones, not being clear through advanced directives, DNR (do not resuscitate) orders, and funeral plans, we ar..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b84/caitlin-doughty-12025_death_by-not-talking-about-death-with-our-love_2247370.jpg" --- # By not talking about death with our loved ones, not being… ![“By not talking about death with our loved ones, not being clear through advanced directives, DNR (do not resuscitate) orders, and funeral plans, we are directly contributing to this future . . . and a rather bleak present, at that. Rather than engage in larger societal discussions about dignified…” quote by Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b84/caitlin-doughty-12025_death_by-not-talking-about-death-with-our-love_2247370.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b84/caitlin-doughty-12025_death_by-not-talking-about-death-with-our-love_2247370.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b84/caitlin-doughty-12025_death_by-not-talking-about-death-with-our-love_2247370.jpg) > ““By not talking about death with our loved ones, not being clear through advanced directives, DNR (do not resuscitate) orders, and funeral plans, we are directly contributing to this future . . . and a rather bleak present, at that. Rather than engage in larger societal discussions about dignified ways for the terminally ill to end their lives, we accept intolerable cases”” [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Avoiding open conversations about death leads to poor end‑of‑life planning and societal distress. **In simple terms:** Not talking about death creates problems. Key Takeaway Start honest discussions about end‑of‑life wishes. Themes mortality communication planning Mood somber reflective Type ethical inspirational When to use this quote - family meetings - legal planning - healthcare decisions - public forums Key Concepts ethics healthcare policy Questions to Reflect On - What conversations are you avoiding? - How can society normalize death dialogue? A Different Perspective Cultural taboos often block these talks. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [End Lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/end-lives-454827/) [Loved ones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/) [Resuscitate Orders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resuscitate-orders-5118765/) [Societal Discussions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/societal-discussions-5118767/) [Talking Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking-death-239077/) [Terminally ill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/terminally-ill/) ## Related quotes > [Depression and hopelessness are not the only reasons terminally ill patients wish to end their lives. Many individuals see nothing undignified about choosing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacob-m-appel/depression-and-hopelessness-are-not-the-only-reasons-terminally-ill/) [Jacob M. 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What if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-ensler/what-if-instead-of-being-afraid-of-even-talking-about-death-we-saw/) [Eve Ensler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-ensler/) > [ If you're in a safe Republican district, say Congressman \[ Gus\] Bilirakis,you probably don't have much to worry about which is why you can… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-todd/if-you-re-in-a-safe-republican-district-say-congressman-gus-bilirakis/) [Chuck Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-todd/) > [“So we’re talking into death? (Alix) Gods, I hope not. I don’t have on the right boots for it. These are only good for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/so-we-re-talking-into-death-alix-gods-i-hope-not-i-don-t-have-on-the/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [“This hand says you spend the rest of your life with me," he said, holding out his left hand, "and this one says I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-marchetta/this-hand-says-you-spend-the-rest-of-your-life-with-me-he-said/) [Melina Marchetta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-marchetta/) > [“Together they listed the people they had known who had died on the mountains. A bleak conversation to have, thought Margrét, but there was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hannah-kent/together-they-listed-the-people-they-had-known-who-had-died-on-the/) [Hannah Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hannah-kent/) > [“I wish you'd stop talking about your own death," Gus said, in a joking tone. "It ain't genteel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-mcmurtry/i-wish-you-d-stop-talking-about-your-own-death-gus-said-in-a-joking/) [Larry McMurtry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-mcmurtry/) > [Many people avoid talking about death, but it never bothered me. The principal of my high school was an excellent teacher. One day he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-tucker-windham/many-people-avoid-talking-about-death-but-it-never-bothered-me-the/) [Kathryn Tucker Windham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-tucker-windham/) > [But when I went to Hiroshima and began to study or just listen to people's descriptions of their work, it was quite clear they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-jay-lifton/but-when-i-went-to-hiroshima-and-began-to-study-or-just-listen-to/) [Robert Jay Lifton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-jay-lifton/) > [I've always been fascinated by dark subjects, especially people's reactions to them. Why are people so uncomfortable talking about death if everyone dies?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-ve-always-been-fascinated-by-dark-subjects-especially-people-s/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [When you're talking about death, you can't afford to make even one mistake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-petro/when-you-re-talking-about-death-you-can-t-afford-to-make-even-one/) [Jim Petro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-petro/) > [“talking of death is like talking of money— we neither know the price or the worth,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/talking-of-death-is-like-talking-of-money-we-neither-know-the-price/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) ## More by Caitlin Doughty > [“Dead people look very, very dead. It is difficult to grasp what that means, since it’s unlikely that any of us will stumble across…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/dead-people-look-very-very-dead-it-is-difficult-to-grasp-what-that/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) > [“The most salacious stories—bones ground in a metal blender or torture-spike eye caps—had the power to disrupt people’s polite complacency about death. Rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/the-most-salacious-stories-bones-ground-in-a-metal-blender-or-torture/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) > [“We do not (and will not) have the resources to properly care for our increasing elderly population, yet we insist on medical intervention to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/we-do-not-and-will-not-have-the-resources-to-properly-care-for-our/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) > [“He explained that he talks about death "all the time" with his friends. They ask each other, "Hey, what you want when you die?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/he-explained-that-he-talks-about-death-all-the-time-with-his-friends/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) > [“Many children and grandchildren of immigrants, have, like Sarah, found themselves severed from their family’s cultural rituals. 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As Kafka said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/death-might-appear-to-destroy-the-meaning-in-our-lives-but-in-fact-it/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) > [“As a general rule, if anyone ever asks you to put stockings on a ninety-year-old deceased Romanian woman with edema, your answer should be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-doughty/as-a-general-rule-if-anyone-ever-asks-you-to-put-stockings-on-a/) [Caitlin Doughty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) [Explore all 56 Caitlin Doughty quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-doughty/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. 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He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/) [Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) > [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/) [Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/) > [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) [J. Anthony Torino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-anthony-torino/) > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) [Alan W. Powers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-w-powers/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“By not talking about death with our loved ones, not being clear through advanced directives, DNR (do not resuscitate) orders, and funeral plans, we are directly contributing to this future . . . and a rather bleak present, at that. 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