--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If people do not believe in permanent…" description: "\"“If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make vows they do ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/c-s-lewis-121_living-together_if-people-do-not-believe-in-permanent-ma_2518476.jpg" --- # If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is… ![“If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make vows they do not mean to keep. It is true that by living together without marriage they will be guilty (in Christian eyes) of fornication. But one fault is not…” quote by C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/c-s-lewis-121_living-together_if-people-do-not-believe-in-permanent-ma_2518476.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/c-s-lewis-121_living-together_if-people-do-not-believe-in-permanent-ma_2518476.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/c-s-lewis-121_living-together_if-people-do-not-believe-in-permanent-ma_2518476.jpg) > ““If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make vows they do not mean to keep. It is true that by living together without marriage they will be guilty (in Christian eyes) of fornication. But one fault is not mended by adding another; unchastity is not improved by adding perjury. The idea that 'being in love' is the only reason for remaining married really leaves no room for marriage as a contract or promise at all. If love is the whole thing, then the promise can add nothing; and if it adds nothing, then it should not be made.”” [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Lewis contends that marriage should be based on commitment, not solely on romantic love, suggesting cohabitation may be preferable to insincere vows. **In simple terms:** Marriage should be a contract, not just love; otherwise vows are empty. Key Takeaway Prioritize commitment over fleeting love. Themes marriage commitment love ethics relationships Mood thoughtful pragmatic Type philosophical relationship When to use this quote - marriage counseling - relationship advice - ethical discussions - personal decisions - cultural norms Key Concepts Contractual marriage love as insufficient ethical vows Questions to Reflect On - What role should love play in marriage vows? - Is commitment more important than affection? A Different Perspective Love alone may not sustain a marriage; practical considerations matter. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adding Unchastity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adding-unchastity-1227977/) [Live Unmarried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/live-unmarried-1227975/) [Living Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/living-marriage-1227976/) [Living together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/living-together/) [Make Vows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-vows-265417/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Permanent Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/permanent-marriage-1227974/) ## Related quotes > [Do not believe that living together before marriage guarantees the future. By burning certain stages, you risk burning love itself. 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I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live \[i.e., unmarried\], which I assure you… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-i/f-rom-my-years-of-understanding-i-happily-chose-this-kind-of-life-in/) [Elizabeth I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-i/) > [Marriage is an ongoing thing, man. You continue to work at it. But it's joyful. And joyous. I don't care if people are living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-mcavoy/marriage-is-an-ongoing-thing-man-you-continue-to-work-at-it-but-it-s/) [James McAvoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-mcavoy/) > [I look upon Virginia as a rib taken from Britain's side... While they both proceed as living under the marriage-compact, this Eve might thrive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-spotswood/i-look-upon-virginia-as-a-rib-taken-from-britain-s-side-while-they/) [Alexander Spotswood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-spotswood/) > [“That’s why you shouldn’t make vows. The moment you do, fate starts conspiring to shove them down your throat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-j-sullivan/that-s-why-you-shouldn-t-make-vows-the-moment-you-do-fate-starts/) [Michael J. Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-j-sullivan/) > [Dear friend, I pray thee, if thou wouldst be proving Thy strong regard for me, Make me no vows. Lip-service is not loving; Let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ella-wheeler-wilcox/dear-friend-i-pray-thee-if-thou-wouldst-be-proving-thy-strong-regard/) [Ella Wheeler Wilcox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ella-wheeler-wilcox/) > [“But, I knew I didn’t believe in divorce. You couldn’t make vows and just break them. If I married a woman, I was going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarryn-fisher/but-i-knew-i-didn-t-believe-in-divorce-you-couldn-t-make-vows-and/) [Tarryn Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarryn-fisher/) > [“we all make vows, Jimmy. And there is something very beautiful and touching and noble about wanting good impulses to be permanent and true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-doria-russell/we-all-make-vows-jimmy-and-there-is-something-very-beautiful-and/) [Mary Doria Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-doria-russell/) > [“We make vows at the beginnings of things. We make vows we intend to keep, and then we spend our days in life’s middle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/micha-boyett/we-make-vows-at-the-beginnings-of-things-we-make-vows-we-intend-to/) [Micha Boyett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/micha-boyett/) > [“You see, love is a funny thing. There are no guarantees, just the day-to-day and the moment. You make vows, hope for the best,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-probst/you-see-love-is-a-funny-thing-there-are-no-guarantees-just-the-day-to/) [Jennifer Probst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-probst/) > [In working class districts, you had several families living together in the one house, and it was very difficult to get a house, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-hume/in-working-class-districts-you-had-several-families-living-together/) [John Hume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-hume/) > [“Pivotally, what we find in Torah is not privatized religion but a social vision, not ascetic distancing from the world but a deep engagement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shai-held/pivotally-what-we-find-in-torah-is-not-privatized-religion-but-a/) [Shai Held](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shai-held/) > [We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr-2/we-have-learned-to-fly-the-air-like-birds-and-swim-the-sea-like-fish/) [Martin Luther King Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr-2/) ## More by C.S. Lewis > [“At the moment, then, of Man’s victory over Nature, we find the whole human race subjected to some individual men, and those individuals subjected…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/at-the-moment-then-of-man-s-victory-over-nature-we-find-the-whole/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Isn’t it absolutely essential to keep a fierce Left and a fierce Right, both on their toes and each terrified of the other?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/isn-t-it-absolutely-essential-to-keep-a-fierce-left-and-a-fierce/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“All Hell is smaller than one pebble of your earthly world: but it is smaller than one atom of this world, the Real World.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/all-hell-is-smaller-than-one-pebble-of-your-earthly-world-but-it-is/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“the greatest service we can do to education today is to teach fewer subjects. No one has time to do more than a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/the-greatest-service-we-can-do-to-education-today-is-to-teach-fewer/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men religious bad men are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/if-the-divine-call-does-not-make-us-better-it-will-make-us-very-much/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/the-husband-is-the-head-of-the-wife-just-in-so-far-as-he-is-to-her/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“We use a most unfortunate idiom when we say, of a lustful man prowling the streets, that he "wants a woman". Strictly speaking, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/we-use-a-most-unfortunate-idiom-when-we-say-of-a-lustful-man-prowling/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Después de cada fracaso, pedid perdón, levantaos del suelo y volved a intentarlo. Muy a menudo, lo que Dios nos otorga primero no es…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/despu-s-de-cada-fracaso-pedid-perd-n-levantaos-del-suelo-y-volved-a/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices; more voices than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/then-two-wonders-happened-at-the-same-moment-one-was-that-the-voice/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/because-free-will-though-it-makes-evil-possible-is-also-the-only/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes as well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/laugh-and-fear-not-creatures-now-that-you-are-no-longer-dumb-and/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“When two humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/when-two-humans-have-lived-together-for-many-years-it-usually-happens/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“He sees as well as you do that courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/he-sees-as-well-as-you-do-that-courage-is-not-simply-one-of-the/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“If you do not take the distinction between good and bad very seriously, then it is easy to say that anything you find in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/if-you-do-not-take-the-distinction-between-good-and-bad-very/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [“Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/now-the-whole-offer-which-christianity-makes-is-this-that-we-can-if/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) [Explore all 1,165 C.S. Lewis quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) ## More Living together quotes > [We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr-2/we-have-learned-to-fly-the-air-like-birds-and-swim-the-sea-like-fish/) [Martin Luther King Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr-2/) > [“Pivotally, what we find in Torah is not privatized religion but a social vision, not ascetic distancing from the world but a deep engagement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shai-held/pivotally-what-we-find-in-torah-is-not-privatized-religion-but-a/) [Shai Held](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shai-held/) > [In working class districts, you had several families living together in the one house, and it was very difficult to get a house, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-hume/in-working-class-districts-you-had-several-families-living-together/) [John Hume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-hume/) > [Let us be good stewards of the Earth we inherited. 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