--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In a relationship if you are giving and…" description: "\"In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.\" —..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/brenda-shoshanna-18628_be-who-you-are_in-a-relationship-if-you-are-giving-and_2951207.jpg" --- # In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing… ![“In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.” quote by Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/brenda-shoshanna-18628_be-who-you-are_in-a-relationship-if-you-are-giving-and_2951207.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/brenda-shoshanna-18628_be-who-you-are_in-a-relationship-if-you-are-giving-and_2951207.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/brenda-shoshanna-18628_be-who-you-are_in-a-relationship-if-you-are-giving-and_2951207.jpg) > “In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.” [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. If a relationship is one‑sided, prioritize self‑care and personal identity. **In simple terms:** Stop over‑giving in one‑sided relationships. Key Takeaway Set boundaries and focus on self. Themes relationships self‑care boundaries Mood thoughtful encouraging Type advice personal development When to use this quote - dating - friendships - family dynamics Key Concepts self‑worth personal identity Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize a one‑sided dynamic? - What self‑care practices help you? A Different Perspective Some relationships may improve with communication before withdrawing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Be who you are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/be-who-you-are/) [End time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/end-time/) [End times](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/end-times/) [Getting Return](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/getting-return-2984890/) [Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) [Giving Getting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving-getting-829446/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationship Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-giving-401999/) [Return](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/return/) [Spend time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spend-time/) [Stop Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stop-giving/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Who you are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/who-you-are/) ## Related quotes > [“But a woman will only go so long putting her heart on the line without getting anything in return.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-banks/but-a-woman-will-only-go-so-long-putting-her-heart-on-the-line/) [Maya Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-banks/) > [It's mine - you can't have it. If you want to use it for something, then you have to negotiate with me. I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-berners-lee/it-s-mine-you-can-t-have-it-if-you-want-to-use-it-for-something-then/) [Tim Berners-Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-berners-lee/) > [“When you give everything and expect nothing in return, only then will you be in a position to gain anything. When you love loving,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/when-you-give-everything-and-expect-nothing-in-return-only-then-will/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [As I get, I give. Giving as you get is critical. It has everything to do with being happy for yourself, and making others…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-simmons/as-i-get-i-give-giving-as-you-get-is-critical-it-has-everything-to-do/) [Russell Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-simmons/) > [Learning is most often considered. a process of getting rather than giving. This is most evident in conceptions of student/teacher roles: Teachers give and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-a-kolb/learning-is-most-often-considered-a-process-of-getting-rather-than/) [David A. Kolb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-a-kolb/) > [Really to succeed, we must give; of our souls to the soulless, of our love to the lonely, of our intelligence to the dull.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-foote-macdougall/really-to-succeed-we-must-give-of-our-souls-to-the-soulless-of-our/) [Alice Foote MacDougall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-foote-macdougall/) > [Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. Marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding, time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/marriage-is-not-a-love-affair-a-love-affair-has-to-do-with-immediate/) [Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/) > [There's no relationship without giving up your single ways, love has no short-cuts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-s-no-relationship-without-giving-up-your-single-ways-love-has/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Why is it it's usually the man or woman with no relationship giving the most relationship advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fitzma/why-is-it-it-s-usually-the-man-or-woman-with-no-relationship-giving/) [Fitzma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fitzma/) > [Who cares what the state thinks about your relationship? They're giving you tax breaks and this and that - it's just nonsense. You want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-peck/who-cares-what-the-state-thinks-about-your-relationship-they-re/) [Dale Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-peck/) > [In my relationship, I was giving myself away to make the relationship better, but in actuality, wasn't doing better by doing that. I became…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-mraz/in-my-relationship-i-was-giving-myself-away-to-make-the-relationship/) [Jason Mraz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-mraz/) > [You can spend time self-identifying and figuring out what you are on that, but at some point, you just want to be who you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-ray/you-can-spend-time-self-identifying-and-figuring-out-what-you-are-on/) [Amy Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-ray/) > [When you can't get their attention, you just have to stop giving them yours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-you-can-t-get-their-attention-you-just-have-to-stop-giving-them/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If you hate losing, stop giving up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/if-you-hate-losing-stop-giving-up/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [If we really want to put America first, we need to stop giving corporations a tax break for outsourcing and level the playing field…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruben-gallego/if-we-really-want-to-put-america-first-we-need-to-stop-giving/) [Ruben Gallego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruben-gallego/) ## More by Brenda Shoshanna > [This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/this-is-how-we-know-we-are-in-a-loving-relationship-we-are-blooming/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [When we do not reject our suffering, or add anything to it, pain is simply pain. It is what we add to our pain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/when-we-do-not-reject-our-suffering-or-add-anything-to-it-pain-is/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [We turn pain into suffering by adding on all kinds of beliefs, interpretations and judgments to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/we-turn-pain-into-suffering-by-adding-on-all-kinds-of-beliefs/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [Unless we base our sense of identity upon the truth of who we are, it is impossible to attain true happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/unless-we-base-our-sense-of-identity-upon-the-truth-of-who-we-are-it/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/who-you-are-is-always-enough-if-your-partner-wants-something/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [A time of uncertainty, of not knowing exactly where we're headed, or what kind of choice to make is a Zen moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/a-time-of-uncertainty-of-not-knowing-exactly-where-we-re-headed-or/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [We are what we think about. When we stay fixed on one person, thought or situation, we get caught in the grip of self-centered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/we-are-what-we-think-about-when-we-stay-fixed-on-one-person-thought/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [When we are able to receive life's challenges as koans rather than problems, they become interesting and exciting, rather than ponderous and depressing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/when-we-are-able-to-receive-life-s-challenges-as-koans-rather-than/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [If one's sense of self is obtained through the eyes of another it is always subject to being lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/if-one-s-sense-of-self-is-obtained-through-the-eyes-of-another-it-is/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/do-not-make-this-practice-a-source-of-pressure-compulsion-anxiety-or/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/fear-of-the-future-and-longing-for-the-past-are-major-factors-which/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [Change is the very basis of our life, not to be fought, to be welcomed and tasted, to be seen for the gift it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/change-is-the-very-basis-of-our-life-not-to-be-fought-to-be-welcomed/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [When we sit, we open our own treasure house. Rather than do this, however, most of us first seek to find the treasures another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/when-we-sit-we-open-our-own-treasure-house-rather-than-do-this/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [“Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you. Life is not somewhere else. See how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/now-today-moment-by-moment-realize-that-each-person-and-event-that/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) > [All the insight we will ever need to live well will come from fully being who and where we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-shoshanna/all-the-insight-we-will-ever-need-to-live-well-will-come-from-fully/) [Brenda Shoshanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) [Explore all 34 Brenda Shoshanna quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-shoshanna/) ## More Be who you are quotes > [Give yourself a chance to live because nobody will live it for you when you die](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/give-yourself-a-chance-to-live-because-nobody-will-live-it-for-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [BE WHO YOU ARE! Not what others want to see](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/be-who-you-are-not-what-others-want-to-see/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The soul knows everything. Be who you are and your life will transform forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/the-soul-knows-everything-be-who-you-are-and-your-life-will-transform/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [Be who you wanna be, and not what others would love to see. Because there gonna find out sooner or later and sure enough…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mee/be-who-you-wanna-be-and-not-what-others-would-love-to-see-because/) [MEE](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mee/) > [There is an unmistakable freedom that accompanies contentment: a freedom to be who you are, enjoy who you are, and live the life you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-becker/there-is-an-unmistakable-freedom-that-accompanies-contentment-a/) [Josh Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-becker/) > [Never bury something deep, baby. Takes twice as much courage to be who you are, say what you think, feel what you feel and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/never-bury-something-deep-baby-takes-twice-as-much-courage-to-be-who/) [Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/) > [Remember who you are. It's really okay to be who you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-ricci/remember-who-you-are-it-s-really-okay-to-be-who-you-are/) [Christina Ricci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-ricci/) > [When we close ourselves off, we're not just closing ourselves off to other people, we're closing ourselves off from ourselves and impeding ourselves. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-cuddy/when-we-close-ourselves-off-we-re-not-just-closing-ourselves-off-to/) [Amy Cuddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-cuddy/) > [Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who will love the person you hide.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/be-weird-be-random-be-who-you-are-because-you-never-know-who-will/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You just gotta be who you are, and I think it's time to get rid of this whole National Basketball Association. Call it the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/you-just-gotta-be-who-you-are-and-i-think-it-s-time-to-get-rid-of/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [Dont be embarrassed by who you are. Theyre going to judge you no matter what you do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dont-be-embarrassed-by-who-you-are-theyre-going-to-judge-you-no/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Our Father in Heaven needs you to be who you are. ... You are very important.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-g-larsen/our-father-in-heaven-needs-you-to-be-who-you-are-you-are-very/) [Sharon G. Larsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-g-larsen/) > [Never look down at yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/never-look-down-at-yourself/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I define my roles as a woman, whether that means a mother at home, a CEO, both, neither or more.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-thoughtful-beast/i-define-my-roles-as-a-woman-whether-that-means-a-mother-at-home-a/) [The Thoughtful Beast](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-thoughtful-beast/) > [Simply be who you are, do what you do best, be where you are called by joy, and let life work its magic on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cohen/simply-be-who-you-are-do-what-you-do-best-be-where-you-are-called-by/) [Alan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cohen/) [Browse all 147 Be who you are quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/be-who-you-are/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. 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