--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When we deny our stories, They define us…" description: "\"When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.\" — Brené Brown" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b0/bren-brown-280_deny_when-we-deny-our-stories-they-define-us_3018871.jpg" --- # When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our… ![“When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.” quote by Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b0/bren-brown-280_deny_when-we-deny-our-stories-they-define-us_3018871.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b0/bren-brown-280_deny_when-we-deny-our-stories-they-define-us_3018871.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b0/bren-brown-280_deny_when-we-deny-our-stories-they-define-us_3018871.jpg) > “When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.” [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Owning personal narratives empowers us to shape our futures, while denying them limits us. **In simple terms:** Own your story to control your ending. Key Takeaway Embrace and own your narrative. Themes vulnerability self‑awareness empowerment Mood reflective hopeful Type inspirational philosophical When to use this quote - personal growth - leadership - therapy - creative work Key Concepts narrative identity psychology Questions to Reflect On - What stories are you denying? - How might ownership change your path? A Different Perspective Denial can also be a protective mechanism. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Deny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deny/) [Deny Stories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deny-stories-4876703/) [Ending](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ending/) [Stories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stories/) [Stories Define](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stories-define-2248797/) [Stories Write](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stories-write-361983/) [Write Ending](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/write-ending-1907946/) [Writing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/writing/) ## Related quotes > [We are all the main characters in our stories, so why not write the ending of how it should be ourselves...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-are-all-the-main-characters-in-our-stories-so-why-not-write-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Don't let your stories define you. Define your own stories.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kitty-downer/don-t-let-your-stories-define-you-define-your-own-stories/) [Kitty Downer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kitty-downer/) > [We create stories to define our existence. If we do not create the stories, we probably go mad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shekhar-kapur/we-create-stories-to-define-our-existence-if-we-do-not-create-the/) [Shekhar Kapur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shekhar-kapur/) > [Life is a story, and you are the author. You hold the pen, only you have the power to write your ending. You can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-a-story-and-you-are-the-author-you-hold-the-pen-only-you-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If we own the story then we can write the ending.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-own-the-story-then-we-can-write-the-ending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you own this story you get to write the ending.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-own-this-story-you-get-to-write-the-ending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-henson/life-s-like-a-movie-write-your-own-ending-keep-believing-keep/) [Jim Henson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-henson/) > [No one ever gets to write their ending, write their final script.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-olsen/no-one-ever-gets-to-write-their-ending-write-their-final-script/) [Greg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-olsen/) > [Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. We've done just what we set out to do. Thanks to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-henson/life-s-like-a-movie-write-your-own-ending-keep-believing-keep-2/) [Jim Henson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-henson/) > [“You’ve gone far away to a place with no horses and very little grass, and you’re studying how to write a story with a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/you-ve-gone-far-away-to-a-place-with-no-horses-and-very-little-grass/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [“Write the ending first and then you'll know before the opening sentence that it's going to be a good book.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/write-the-ending-first-and-then-you-ll-know-before-the-opening/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [“Please write an ending where the Martians are defeated. Don't take away your readers' hope.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-lix-j-palma/please-write-an-ending-where-the-martians-are-defeated-don-t-take/) [Félix J. Palma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-lix-j-palma/) > [“It is the storyteller's prerogative to try to write, every now and then, the ending she might wish for. Even if it exists only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-solomons/it-is-the-storyteller-s-prerogative-to-try-to-write-every-now-and/) [Natasha Solomons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-solomons/) > [“How often do you think we write our own ending before the story is even finished? How often do we give up on ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-van-dyken/how-often-do-you-think-we-write-our-own-ending-before-the-story-is/) [Rachel Van Dyken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-van-dyken/) > [I've always felt that life is a novel, and part of it is written for you, and part of it is written by you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-johnston/i-ve-always-felt-that-life-is-a-novel-and-part-of-it-is-written-for/) [Lynn Johnston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-johnston/) ## More by Brené Brown > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/) [Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-here-s-the-tricky-part-about-compassion-and-connecting-we-can-t/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) [Explore all 759 Brené Brown quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More Deny quotes > [A lot of indigenous cultures are deeply involved in working with ancestor spirits, elemental spirits, and demons. Many of these cultures feel that, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-pinchbeck/a-lot-of-indigenous-cultures-are-deeply-involved-in-working-with/) [Daniel Pinchbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-pinchbeck/) > [Shhh.” He put a finger to her lips. “Hear me out. I cannot deny that I would've liked to have made babies with you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-hoyt/shhh-he-put-a-finger-to-her-lips-hear-me-out-i-cannot-deny-that-i/) [Elizabeth Hoyt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-hoyt/) > [A lost love. Deny it who will, ridicule it, treat it as mere imagination and sentiment, the thing is and will be; and women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/a-lost-love-deny-it-who-will-ridicule-it-treat-it-as-mere-imagination/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [One cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one's own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-baldwin/one-cannot-deny-the-humanity-of-another-without-diminishing-one-s-own/) [James A. Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-baldwin/) > [Not to fear a person with power--to profess, instead, one's love--is to deny that that person has power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/not-to-fear-a-person-with-power-to-profess-instead-one-s-love-is-to/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [Grace is ours. Let's live it! Deny it or debate it and we kill it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-r-swindoll/grace-is-ours-let-s-live-it-deny-it-or-debate-it-and-we-kill-it/) [Charles R. Swindoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-r-swindoll/) > [Our life is half natural and half technological. Half-and-half is good. You cannot deny that high-tech is progress. We need it for jobs. Yet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nam-june-paik/our-life-is-half-natural-and-half-technological-half-and-half-is-good/) [Nam June Paik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nam-june-paik/) > [Whether you face reality head on and make a life change, or deny your responsibility, you've made a choice. The way I see it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-phillips/whether-you-face-reality-head-on-and-make-a-life-change-or-deny-your/) [Shawn Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-phillips/) > [“I've tried to deny it even to myself... My heart and soul are filled with you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-thacker/i-ve-tried-to-deny-it-even-to-myself-my-heart-and-soul-are-filled/) [Shelly Thacker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-thacker/) > [“Just because you deny facts and science doesn't mean they aren't true”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-corn/just-because-you-deny-facts-and-science-doesn-t-mean-they-aren-t-true/) [Johnny Corn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-corn/) > [I do not believe that defending traditional marriage between one man and one woman excludes anybody or usurps anybody's civil rights and denies anybody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-autry/i-do-not-believe-that-defending-traditional-marriage-between-one-man/) [Alan Autry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-autry/) > [Peace in the struggle to find peace.. comfort on the way to comfort. And if I shed a tear I won't cage it I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-mclachlan/peace-in-the-struggle-to-find-peace-comfort-on-the-way-to-comfort-and/) [Sarah McLachlan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-mclachlan/) > [I'm saying that the domain of poetry includes both oral & written forms, that poetry goes back to a pre-literate situation & would survive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerome-rothenberg/i-m-saying-that-the-domain-of-poetry-includes-both-oral-written-forms/) [Jerome Rothenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerome-rothenberg/) > [It is the night-black Massachusetts legendry which packs the really macabre "kick". Here is material for a really profound study in group-neuroticism; for certainly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-p-lovecraft/it-is-the-night-black-massachusetts-legendry-which-packs-the-really/) [H. P. 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