--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I look at narcissism through the…" description: "\"When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary e..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/bren-brown-280_enough_when-i-look-at-narcissism-through-the-vu_1886342.jpg" --- # When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens… ![“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.” quote by Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/bren-brown-280_enough_when-i-look-at-narcissism-through-the-vu_1886342.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/bren-brown-280_enough_when-i-look-at-narcissism-through-the-vu_1886342.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/bren-brown-280_enough_when-i-look-at-narcissism-through-the-vu_1886342.jpg) > “When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.” [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Viewing narcissism via vulnerability reveals it stems from shame and fear of being ordinary, seeking extraordinary validation, love, belonging, and purpose. **In simple terms:** Narcissism hides shame and fear of being ordinary. Key Takeaway Recognize and address underlying shame. Themes vulnerability shame identity belonging purpose Mood reflective empathetic Type insightful motivational When to use this quote - therapy sessions - personal reflection - team building - leadership coaching Key Concepts psychology self‑esteem social comparison Questions to Reflect On - How does shame drive your need for validation? - What steps can you take to feel worthy without extraordinary feats? A Different Perspective May overlook structural factors influencing self‑worth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enough/) [Extraordinary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/extraordinary/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Lenses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lenses/) [Look Narcissism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/look-narcissism-2697319/) [Looks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/) [Lovable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovable/) [Narcissism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/narcissism/) [Narcissism Vulnerability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/narcissism-vulnerability-2697317/) [Ordinary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ordinary/) [Purpose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/purpose/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Vulnerability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vulnerability/) [Vulnerability Lens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vulnerability-lens-2697318/) ## Related quotes > [I admire narcissism in Momus and others who "own" it and use it as a way to explore ideas/themselves and also as a form…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-calloway/i-admire-narcissism-in-momus-and-others-who-own-it-and-use-it-as-a/) [Marie Calloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-calloway/) > [Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-works-like-the-zoom-lens-on-a-camera-when-we-are-feeling-shame/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/president-reagan-is-a-lot-like-e-t-he-s-cute-he-s-lovable-and-he/) [Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/) > [A thing is lovable according as it is good. But God is infinite good. Therefore He is infinitely lovable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-aquinas/a-thing-is-lovable-according-as-it-is-good-but-god-is-infinite-good/) [Thomas Aquinas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-aquinas/) > [The Haitian people are gentle and lovable except for their enormous and unconscious cruelty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zora-neale-hurston/the-haitian-people-are-gentle-and-lovable-except-for-their-enormous/) [Zora Neale Hurston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zora-neale-hurston/) > [There's more to someone being lovable than the way they look." 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I have no control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-b-davis/i-don-t-do-anything-to-be-lovable-i-have-no-control/) [Ann B. Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-b-davis/) > [Both the artist and the lover know that perfection is not loveable. It is the clumsiness of a fault that makes a person lovable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/both-the-artist-and-the-lover-know-that-perfection-is-not-loveable-it/) [Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/) > [That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deb-caletti/that-s-what-people-do-who-love-you-they-put-their-arms-around-you-and/) [Deb Caletti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deb-caletti/) > [“You make life lovable”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ismaaciil-c-ubax/you-make-life-lovable/) [Ismaaciil C. Ubax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ismaaciil-c-ubax/) > [Our foibles are really what make us lovable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/our-foibles-are-really-what-make-us-lovable/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) ## More by Brené Brown > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/) [Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. 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