--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What’s the difference between shame and…" description: "\"“What’s the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is b..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/bren-brown-280_habits_what-s-the-difference-between-shame-and_1705494.jpg" --- # What’s the difference between shame and guilt? The… ![“What’s the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between “I am bad” and “I did something bad.” Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad. Shame is about who we…” quote by Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/bren-brown-280_habits_what-s-the-difference-between-shame-and_1705494.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/bren-brown-280_habits_what-s-the-difference-between-shame-and_1705494.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/bren-brown-280_habits_what-s-the-difference-between-shame-and_1705494.jpg) > ““What’s the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between “I am bad” and “I did something bad.” Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad. Shame is about who we are, and guilt is about our behaviors...When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends to others, or change a behavior that we don’t feel good about, guilt is most often the motivator. Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its effect is often positive while shame often is destructive. When we see people apologize, make amends, or replace negative behaviors with more positive ones, guilt is often the motivator, not shame. In fact, in my research, I found that shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change and do better.”” [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Shame attacks identity, while guilt targets actions; guilt can drive repair, shame often hinders growth. **In simple terms:** Shame is self, guilt is act. Key Takeaway Focus on behavior, not self. Themes shame guilt self‑esteem growth Mood insightful empathetic Type psychological educational When to use this quote - conflict resolution - therapy - team feedback - personal development Key Concepts psychology emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How can you turn guilt into constructive change? - When does guilt become unhelpful? A Different Perspective Guilt can also become excessive, leading to self‑criticism. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Habits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/habits/) [Negative behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative-behavior/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Shame and guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame-and-guilt/) ## Related quotes > [“What’s the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/what-s-the-difference-between-shame-and-guilt-the-majority-of-shame/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I believe one of our souls' major purposes is to know, love, and express our authentic selves. To live the life and be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-thoele/i-believe-one-of-our-souls-major-purposes-is-to-know-love-and-express/) [Sue Thoele](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-thoele/) > [“Your mistakes are to help you develop your purpose, not shame and guilt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-fitzmaurice/your-mistakes-are-to-help-you-develop-your-purpose-not-shame-and-guilt/) [Sue Fitzmaurice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-fitzmaurice/) > [The distinction between shame and guilt is very important, since these two emotions may tear a person in opposite directions. The wish to relieve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/the-distinction-between-shame-and-guilt-is-very-important-since-these/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [never feel guilty about anything shame and guilt are a waste of time just do what you do-- and deal with it](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-brooks/never-feel-guilty-about-anything-shame-and-guilt-are-a-waste-of-time/) [Kevin Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-brooks/) > [There can be a lot of shame and guilt after I get unwell in front of people. But I want to be open about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lola-young/there-can-be-a-lot-of-shame-and-guilt-after-i-get-unwell-in-front-of/) [Lola Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lola-young/) > [Work on psychological blocks like shame and guilt - they falsely color your reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/work-on-psychological-blocks-like-shame-and-guilt-they-falsely-color/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [A lot of people are afraid of the idea of enslavement, and that's because it's tied to so much shame and guilt... That is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldis-hodge/a-lot-of-people-are-afraid-of-the-idea-of-enslavement-and-that-s/) [Aldis Hodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldis-hodge/) > [Being natural and matter-of-fact about nudity prevents your children from developing an attitude of shame and guilt about the human body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-salk/being-natural-and-matter-of-fact-about-nudity-prevents-your-children/) Lee Salk > [Despite their differences, pride, shame, and guilt all activate similar neural circuits, including the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, amygdala, insula, and the nucleus accumbens. Interestingly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-d-burns/despite-their-differences-pride-shame-and-guilt-all-activate-similar/) [David D. Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-d-burns/) > [Glory, built on selfish principles, is shame and guilt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-cowper/glory-built-on-selfish-principles-is-shame-and-guilt/) [William Cowper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-cowper/) > [If a child had another disease, we'd be open about what we were going through, but addiction is stigmatised and comes with shame and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sheff/if-a-child-had-another-disease-we-d-be-open-about-what-we-were-going/) [David Sheff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sheff/) > [What should our second generation have done, what should it do with the knowledge of the horrors of the extermination of the Jews? We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/what-should-our-second-generation-have-done-what-should-it-do-with/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [I felt ashamed while saying Bulla's dialogues! There was a mixed feeling of shame and guilt, and I constantly questioned myself why I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mukesh-rishi/i-felt-ashamed-while-saying-bulla-s-dialogues-there-was-a-mixed/) [Mukesh Rishi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mukesh-rishi/) > [“But the great test is that the recognition of the new standards is accompanied with the sense of shame and guilt: one is conscious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/but-the-great-test-is-that-the-recognition-of-the-new-standards-is/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) ## More by Brené Brown > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/) [Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-here-s-the-tricky-part-about-compassion-and-connecting-we-can-t/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) [Explore all 759 Brené Brown quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More Guilt quotes > [Never fight on the wrong side; you might win but the burden of guilt is more than a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilian-salan/never-fight-on-the-wrong-side-you-might-win-but-the-burden-of-guilt/) [Lilian Salan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilian-salan/) > [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [When the Lord Jesus Christ became my surety . . . He went to Calvary's cross, and all my guilt was charged against Him.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-allen-ironside/when-the-lord-jesus-christ-became-my-surety-he-went-to-calvary-s/) [Henry Allen Ironside](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-allen-ironside/) > [“Even in the miserable guilt we feel over our beastlike insensitivity, the glory of God shines. If God were not gloriously desirable, why would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/even-in-the-miserable-guilt-we-feel-over-our-beastlike-insensitivity/) [John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/) > [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/) [Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [Regrets are just a way for the foolish and the guilty to pass the time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gensoumaden-saiyuki/regrets-are-just-a-way-for-the-foolish-and-the-guilty-to-pass-the-time/) Gensoumaden Saiyuki > [(I)f we are going to be kind, let it be out of simple generosity, not because we fear guilt or retribution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-f-we-are-going-to-be-kind-let-it-be-out-of-simple-generosity-not/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Money should not be in the hands of individuals; otherwise it will create this problem of being burdened with guilt. And money can make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/money-should-not-be-in-the-hands-of-individuals-otherwise-it-will/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [Food ... love ... mother ... career ... Live every day to the fullest. Partake of the four basic guilt groups.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cathy-guisewite/food-love-mother-career-live-every-day-to-the-fullest-partake-of-the/) [Cathy Guisewite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cathy-guisewite/) > [Anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/anger-was-better-than-tears-better-than-grief-better-than-guilt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Phil and Hannah had decided that Christian guilt was better than bad math”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhoda-janzen/phil-and-hannah-had-decided-that-christian-guilt-was-better-than-bad/) [rhoda janzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhoda-janzen/) > [No amount of guilt can solve the past & No amount of anxiety can change the future](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ananymous/no-amount-of-guilt-can-solve-the-past-no-amount-of-anxiety-can-change/) [Ananymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ananymous/) > [The essence of having fun is enjoying without guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-essence-of-having-fun-is-enjoying-without-guilt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/if-all-the-world-hated-you-and-believed-you-wicked-while-your-own/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) [Browse all 2,943 Guilt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“What’s the difference between shame and guilt? 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