--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to…" description: "\"“Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned by the dark emotion we have experienced—recognizing and feeling our way through the emotion..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg" --- # Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned… ![“Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned by the dark emotion we have experienced—recognizing and feeling our way through the emotion is choosing freedom.” quote by Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg) > ““Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned by the dark emotion we have experienced—recognizing and feeling our way through the emotion is choosing freedom.”” [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Pretending to ignore pain traps us in darkness; confronting and feeling emotions leads to liberation. **In simple terms:** Ignoring pain imprisons us; feeling it frees us. Key Takeaway Face emotions directly to gain freedom. Themes vulnerability emotional health freedom self-care Mood hopeful empowering Type inspirational psychological When to use this quote - relationship conflict - personal trauma - stress management - mental health therapy Key Concepts psychology mindfulness emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - What emotions are you avoiding? - How might embracing them change your situation? A Different Perspective Denial can sometimes protect temporarily, but may also delay healing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Freedom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/) ## Related quotes > [Pretending not to be hurt is a brave thing to do... But you know what? Crying is braver. Why? 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There is only passion.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drew-karpyshyn/the-dark-side-is-emotion-bane-anger-hate-love-lust-these-are-what/) [Drew Karpyshyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drew-karpyshyn/) > [“I don't ever forget things when it comes to you, Rebecca.” A dark emotion flashed in his eyes. “I can't make up for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-lynn-barrett/i-don-t-ever-forget-things-when-it-comes-to-you-rebecca-a-dark/) [Nikki Lynn Barrett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-lynn-barrett/) > [An actor needs something to stabilize his personality, something to nail down what he really is, not what he is currently pretending to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/humphrey-bogart/an-actor-needs-something-to-stabilize-his-personality-something-to/) [Humphrey Bogart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/humphrey-bogart/) > [I don't care if they hate me cause I love being myself rather than pretending](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine/i-don-t-care-if-they-hate-me-cause-i-love-being-myself-rather-than/) [Christine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine/) > [No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tucker-max/no-one-has-it-all-figured-out-especially-not-the-people-who-are/) [Tucker Max](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tucker-max/) > [The terrible immoralities are the cunning ones hiding behind masks of morality, such as exploiting people while pretending to help them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-terrible-immoralities-are-the-cunning-ones-hiding-behind-masks-of/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [He has no idea what goes on through her mind. Shes so good at pretending. Hell never know how many tears are fallen each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/he-has-no-idea-what-goes-on-through-her-mind-shes-so-good-at/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [There are videos I used to take at home, pretending to be a newscaster, interviewing the teapot or my house cat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-wagner/there-are-videos-i-used-to-take-at-home-pretending-to-be-a-newscaster/) [Alex Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-wagner/) > [Making the unbelievable believable is different on a set with 'Fantastic Four,' where it's like, 'Wind machines! Because the airship is coming in and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-washington/making-the-unbelievable-believable-is-different-on-a-set-with/) [Kerry Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-washington/) > [Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-herford/modesty-is-the-gentle-art-of-enhancing-your-charm-by-pretending-not/) [Oliver Herford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-herford/) > [All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which means characters moving through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/all-fiction-is-about-people-unless-it-s-about-rabbits-pretending-to/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [Pretending to care about a teachers personal life to waste time in class.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-siddiq-prince/pretending-to-care-about-a-teachers-personal-life-to-waste-time-in/) [Young Siddiq Prince](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-siddiq-prince/) > [“Just like a kitten pretending to be a lion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiki-hamilton/just-like-a-kitten-pretending-to-be-a-lion/) [Kiki Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiki-hamilton/) ## More by Brené Brown > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/) [Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-here-s-the-tricky-part-about-compassion-and-connecting-we-can-t/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) [Explore all 759 Brené Brown quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More Freedom quotes > [One is a painter because one wants so-called freedom; one doesn't want to go to the office every morning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-duchamp/one-is-a-painter-because-one-wants-so-called-freedom-one-doesn-t-want/) [Marcel Duchamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-duchamp/) > [Some people still believe you should just fall in line with what's going on - and that's scary. It makes a mockery of freedom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-robison/some-people-still-believe-you-should-just-fall-in-line-with-what-s/) [Emily Robison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-robison/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [Elections belong to the people. It's their decision. 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Right and wrong demand freedom of choice, but if each action…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-lightman/in-a-world-of-fixed-future-there-can-be-no-right-or-wrong-right-and/) [Alan Lightman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-lightman/) > [“In any case, white people, who had robbed black people of their liberty and who profited by this theft every hour that they lived,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-baldwin/in-any-case-white-people-who-had-robbed-black-people-of-their-liberty/) [James Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-baldwin/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [“I have to blame myself for not finding any way of reaching him, but I can't feel that either Ruth or I had anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stegner/i-have-to-blame-myself-for-not-finding-any-way-of-reaching-him-but-i/) [Wallace Stegner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stegner/) > [“It breaks my heart. Better than your words, your eye tells me all your peril. You are not yet free, you still search for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/it-breaks-my-heart-better-than-your-words-your-eye-tells-me-all-your/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [History has often showed us the strength of the forces that are unleashed by the yearning for freedom. It moved people to overcome their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-merkel/history-has-often-showed-us-the-strength-of-the-forces-that-are/) [Angela Merkel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-merkel/) > [I don't want to be famous famous. I'm happy on the second tier, where I have autonomy on a professional level but I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-reece/i-don-t-want-to-be-famous-famous-i-m-happy-on-the-second-tier-where-i/) [Gabrielle Reece](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-reece/) [Browse all 30,110 Freedom quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned by the dark emotion we have experienced—recognizing and feeling our way through the emotion is choosing freedom.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brené Brown" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to-become-imprisoned-by-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Freedom" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to-become-imprisoned-by-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffe/bren-brown-280_freedom_pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to_499471.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Pretending not to be hurt is choosing to become imprisoned by the dark emotion we have…” — Brené Brown", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Brené Brown", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Pretending not to be hurt is...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to-become-imprisoned-by-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/pretending-not-to-be-hurt-is-choosing-to-become-imprisoned-by-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```