--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One of the biggest surprises in this…" description: "\"“One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the gre..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2f/bren-brown-280_quote_one-of-the-biggest-surprises-in-this-res_681456.jpg" --- # One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning… ![“One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the…” quote by Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2f/bren-brown-280_quote_one-of-the-biggest-surprises-in-this-res_681456.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2f/bren-brown-280_quote_one-of-the-biggest-surprises-in-this-res_681456.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2f/bren-brown-280_quote_one-of-the-biggest-surprises-in-this-res_681456.jpg) > ““One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”” [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Fitting in demands altering oneself for acceptance, while belonging allows authentic self‑expression without change. **In simple terms:** Fitting in changes you; belonging lets you be you. Key Takeaway Embrace authenticity to foster true belonging. Themes authenticity belonging identity social dynamics Mood reflective inspiring Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - workplace culture - friendships - online communities - team building Key Concepts self‑acceptance group dynamics psychology Questions to Reflect On - Do you change yourself to fit in? - How can you create spaces that welcome your true self? A Different Perspective Belonging may still require effort to find supportive environments. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accepted Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accepted-belonging-5258120/) [Barriers Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/barriers-belonging-5390785/) [Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging/) [Belonging Fitting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging-fitting-5258119/) [Fitting Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fitting-belonging-5258118/) ## Related quotes > [“Fitting in and belonging are not the same thing, and, in fact, fitting in gets in the way of belonging. Fitting in is about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holley-gerth/fitting-in-and-belonging-are-not-the-same-thing-and-in-fact-fitting/) [Holley Gerth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holley-gerth/) > [Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/vulnerability-is-the-birthplace-of-love-belonging-joy-courage-empathy/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/our-sense-of-belonging-can-never-be-greater-than-our-level-of-self/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“One of the most surprising things that unfolded in my research is the pairing of certain terms. I can’t separate the concepts of love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/one-of-the-most-surprising-things-that-unfolded-in-my-research-is-the/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Belonging so fully to yourself that you're willing to stand alone is a wilderness -- an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/belonging-so-fully-to-yourself-that-you-re-willing-to-stand-alone-is/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Of this, I am actually certain. After collecting thousands of stories, I’m willing to call this a fact: A deep sense of love and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/of-this-i-am-actually-certain-after-collecting-thousands-of-stories-i/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/wholehearted-living-is-about-engaging-with-our-lives-from-a-place-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-we-want-to-fully-experience-love-and-belonging-we-must-believe/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Show up for collective moments of joy and pain so we can actually bear witness to inextricable human connection. Women and men with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/show-up-for-collective-moments-of-joy-and-pain-so-we-can-actually/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/your-level-of-belonging-in-fact-can-never-be-greater-than-your-level/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“connection as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-as-the-energy-that-exists-between-people-when-they-feel/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Once we belong thoroughly to ourselves and believe thoroughly in ourselves, true belonging is ours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/once-we-belong-thoroughly-to-ourselves-and-believe-thoroughly-in/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [We have become this very fear-based culture, especially post-9/11. Fear is the opposite of love, in my opinion. I think there would be more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-have-become-this-very-fear-based-culture-especially-post-9-11-fear/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More by Brené Brown > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“always put off writing by reorganizing my entire house and spending way too much time and money buying office supplies and organizing systems. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/always-put-off-writing-by-reorganizing-my-entire-house-and-spending/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/when-you-ask-people-about-love-they-tell-you-about-heartbreak/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I can recognize shame when it’s happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-can-recognize-shame-when-it-s-happening/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-carry-a-small-sheet-of-paper-in-my-wallet-that-has-written-on-it/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/waking-up-every-day-and-loving-someone-who-may-or-may-not-love-us/) [Brene Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/no-matter-how-separated-we-are-by-what-we-think-and-believe-we-are/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/perfectionism-is-self-destructive-simply-because-there-is-no-such/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/shame-corrodes-the-very-part-of-us-that-believes-we-are-capable-of/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [If you're also in the arena and you're putting your ideas out and you're owning them and you're saying "I disagree with you about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/if-you-re-also-in-the-arena-and-you-re-putting-your-ideas-out-and-you/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“I found that men and women with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: They understand shame and recognize what messages and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/i-found-that-men-and-women-with-high-levels-of-shame-resilience-share/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“But here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t call just anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/but-here-s-the-tricky-part-about-compassion-and-connecting-we-can-t/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) [Explore all 759 Brené Brown quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More Belonging quotes > [She might be without country, without nation, but inside her there was still a being that could exist and be free, that could simply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-maas/she-might-be-without-country-without-nation-but-inside-her-there-was/) [Sharon Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-maas/) > [I always think the best way of motivating yourself is to put yourself in a situation where you feel like you're belonging to something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-jackson/i-always-think-the-best-way-of-motivating-yourself-is-to-put-yourself/) [Colin Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-jackson/) > [It is a well-settled principle of the international code that where one nation owes another a liquidated debt which it refuses or neglects to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-jackson/it-is-a-well-settled-principle-of-the-international-code-that-where/) [Andrew Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-jackson/) > [The region belonging to the pure intellect is straitened: the imagination labours to extend its territories, to give it room. She sweeps across the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-macdonald/the-region-belonging-to-the-pure-intellect-is-straitened-the/) [George MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-macdonald/) > [I am convinced that human nature is basically affectionate and good. If our behavior follows our kind and loving nature, immense benefits will result,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/i-am-convinced-that-human-nature-is-basically-affectionate-and-good/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [“The reason “belonging” was so potent, so attractive, so much a part of the human yearning, was that it also meant safety, and loyalty.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/the-reason-belonging-was-so-potent-so-attractive-so-much-a-part-of/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [If some student belonging to weaker section of society suffers distress, humanity says it must be addressed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arun-jaitley/if-some-student-belonging-to-weaker-section-of-society-suffers/) [Arun Jaitley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arun-jaitley/) > [Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/connection-gives-purpose-and-meaning-to-our-lives/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [My father was a man of great charity towards the poor, and compassion for the sick, and also for servants; so much so, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-father-was-a-man-of-great-charity-towards-the-poor-and-compassion/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Maybe the problem with the world is, that people are too quick to judge. And out of desperation, the loneliness creeps in like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-limn/maybe-the-problem-with-the-world-is-that-people-are-too-quick-to/) [Jeremy Limn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-limn/) > [“It turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you'll stand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/it-turns-out-to-be-the-place-of-true-belonging-and-it-s-the-bravest/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [The hardest thing about being at Sony was not the travel; it was being divorced from the public and private life I had in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stringer/the-hardest-thing-about-being-at-sony-was-not-the-travel-it-was-being/) [Howard Stringer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stringer/) > [Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/whenever-you-are-examining-someone-else-s-belongings-you-are-bound-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“She isn't anybody's,' Rook said darkly. 'Son. she's not yours, either," Sarah Fleet said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaida-jones/she-isn-t-anybody-s-rook-said-darkly-son-she-s-not-yours-either-sarah/) [Jaida Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaida-jones/) > [We have become this very fear-based culture, especially post-9/11. Fear is the opposite of love, in my opinion. I think there would be more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-have-become-this-very-fear-based-culture-especially-post-9-11-fear/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) [Browse all 876 Belonging quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. 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