--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a…" description: "\"“It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling the emotions of others. Now I'm so afraid, I can't even function.”\" — Brandon Sanderson" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg" --- # It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling… ![“It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling the emotions of others. Now I'm so afraid, I can't even function.” quote by Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg) > ““It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling the emotions of others. Now I'm so afraid, I can't even function.”” [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The author confesses fear after years of manipulating others' emotions, now unable to manage his own. **In simple terms:** He used to control others, now he fears his own emotions. Key Takeaway Practice self‑compassion and emotional regulation. Themes fear control emotional health vulnerability Mood anxious introspective Type literary self‑help When to use this quote - public speaking - leadership roles - personal relationships Key Concepts psychology self‑care personal development Questions to Reflect On - What emotions are you avoiding? - How can you build resilience to fear? A Different Perspective Control over others does not guarantee control over self. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Emotions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions/) [Ironic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ironic/) ## Related quotes > [“Destiny has an ironic way of manifesting itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-cenker/destiny-has-an-ironic-way-of-manifesting-itself/) [Dave Cenker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-cenker/) > [Maybe you've got the patience to work out some complicated, long-term, ironic way to get back at the people who've wronged you, but that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-cox/maybe-you-ve-got-the-patience-to-work-out-some-complicated-long-term/) [Greg Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-cox/) > [“I know what’s coming you see. I know no one beats these odds and I know it’s a matter of getting used to that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-hitchens/i-know-what-s-coming-you-see-i-know-no-one-beats-these-odds-and-i/) [Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-hitchens/) > [I was seventeen years old, a married woman without real responsibilities, miserable about my mixed-up emotions, afraid there was something awfully wrong with me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-martin/i-was-seventeen-years-old-a-married-woman-without-real/) [Mary Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-martin/) > [“INFJs weakness: have no sense of direction, often so clumsy, worst at expressing their emotions, too afraid to hurt someone, stubborn, have too high…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marissa-baker/infjs-weakness-have-no-sense-of-direction-often-so-clumsy-worst-at/) [Marissa Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marissa-baker/) > [None of the cartoons that I ever did are basically, if they're about sex, they're about sex in sort of this, you know, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-mankoff/none-of-the-cartoons-that-i-ever-did-are-basically-if-they-re-about/) [Robert Mankoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-mankoff/) > [Controlling your emotions is the biggest challenge for a horseman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buck-brannaman/controlling-your-emotions-is-the-biggest-challenge-for-a-horseman/) [Buck Brannaman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buck-brannaman/) > [“Anger can be defeated by controlling our emotions without upsetting the nerves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/munia-khan/anger-can-be-defeated-by-controlling-our-emotions-without-upsetting/) [Munia Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/munia-khan/) > [I think the guys who are really controlling their emotions ... are going to win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiger-woods/i-think-the-guys-who-are-really-controlling-their-emotions-are-going/) [Tiger Woods](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiger-woods/) > [“Emotions can throw you off in the wrong direction; therefore you need to keep them in check. The role of intelligence is extremely important…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pratap-c-singhal/emotions-can-throw-you-off-in-the-wrong-direction-therefore-you-need/) [Pratap C. Singhal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pratap-c-singhal/) > [When you're good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-grant/when-you-re-good-at-controlling-your-own-emotions-you-can-disguise/) [Adam Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-grant/) > [It's ironic how we cry harder when explaining why we're crying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-s-ironic-how-we-cry-harder-when-explaining-why-we-re-crying/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“sometimes when everything seems at its worst when all conspires and gnaws and the hours, days, weeks years seem wasted – stretched there upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/sometimes-when-everything-seems-at-its-worst-when-all-conspires-and/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [I love Derrick Brown for the surprise of one word waking up next to another. One moment tender, funny or romantic, the next, visceral,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/i-love-derrick-brown-for-the-surprise-of-one-word-waking-up-next-to/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [Nostalgia keeps dissolving the ironic narratives in which I have contained my past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/nostalgia-keeps-dissolving-the-ironic-narratives-in-which-i-have/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) ## More by Brandon Sanderson > [“I’ll admit, Jasnah, that I empathize with your skepticism, but I don’t agree with it. I just think you've been looking for God in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/i-ll-admit-jasnah-that-i-empathize-with-your-skepticism-but-i-don-t/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [They say a man doesn't know himself until he faces death for the first time. . . I don't know about that. It seems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/they-say-a-man-doesn-t-know-himself-until-he-faces-death-for-the/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“I wasn’t a nerd, mind you, but I’d spent a lot of my youth studying Epics, so I’d had limited experience with social interaction.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/i-wasn-t-a-nerd-mind-you-but-i-d-spent-a-lot-of-my-youth-studying/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“Why, Elend! That’s almost romantic—in a twisted ‘I’m going to make my wife want to kill me’ sort of way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/why-elend-that-s-almost-romantic-in-a-twisted-i-m-going-to-make-my/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“And...how much are we getting paid for achieving the impossible?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/and-how-much-are-we-getting-paid-for-achieving-the-impossible/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“Elantris was the one place where she could remember feeling unconditional acceptance. She had not been a princess, she had been something far better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/elantris-was-the-one-place-where-she-could-remember-feeling/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“Elend smiled. "Oh, come on. You have to admit that you're unusual, Vin. You're like some strange mixture of a noblewoman, a street urchin,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/elend-smiled-oh-come-on-you-have-to-admit-that-you-re-unusual-vin-you/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“That is always how it is, though, isn't it?” Shuden asked. “Those who can least afford extravagance seem to be the ones most determined…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/that-is-always-how-it-is-though-isn-t-it-shuden-asked-those-who-can/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“He says he’s letting the Stormfather judge you,” Moash added. “Jezerezeh, king of Heralds. He says that if you deserve to live, you will….”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/he-says-he-s-letting-the-stormfather-judge-you-moash-added-jezerezeh/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“The stories say the Nightwatcher might be capable of that. . . . Powerful spren. Vast spren.’ ‘Is he calling me vast?’ Syl said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/the-stories-say-the-nightwatcher-might-be-capable-of-that-powerful/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“But the mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/but-the-mark-of-a-great-man-is-one-who-knows-when-to-set-aside-the/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“My life to yours. My breath beecome yours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/my-life-to-yours-my-breath-beecome-yours/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“If you're always on time, it implies that you never have anything better you should be doing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/if-you-re-always-on-time-it-implies-that-you-never-have-anything/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [You are inexperienced. So was I, once. So is every man. The measure of a person is not how much they have lived. .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/you-are-inexperienced-so-was-i-once-so-is-every-man-the-measure-of-a/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) > [“So I should not hate Adolin Kholin for wielding a corpse!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/so-i-should-not-hate-adolin-kholin-for-wielding-a-corpse/) [Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) [Explore all 1,238 Brandon Sanderson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/) ## More Emotions quotes > [William Maxwell's my favorite North American writer, I think. And an Irish writer who used to write for 'The New Yorker' called Maeve Brennan,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-munro/william-maxwell-s-my-favorite-north-american-writer-i-think-and-an/) [Alice Munro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-munro/) > [On stage, you can bring all those strong emotions that you don't have the opportunity to live. You don't want to die for love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvie-guillem/on-stage-you-can-bring-all-those-strong-emotions-that-you-don-t-have/) [Sylvie Guillem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvie-guillem/) > [You will never fully understand how much you mean to me, because there are no amount of words that can begin to describe my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-will-never-fully-understand-how-much-you-mean-to-me-because-there/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't wanna be with you. It's a complicated emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlin/of-course-i-like-you-it-s-because-i-like-you-i-don-t-wanna-be-with/) Marlin > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [What we're supposed to do as actors is be able to portray real human beings and emotions. And if you grow up in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-browning/what-we-re-supposed-to-do-as-actors-is-be-able-to-portray-real-human/) [Emily Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-browning/) > [It definitely helps to have the acting experience going into singing, because when you're singing, you have to portray the emotion you were feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-newman/it-definitely-helps-to-have-the-acting-experience-going-into-singing/) Ryan Newman > [Instead of asking a girl how she feels, try looking through her recently listened to songs. The lyrics are the answer to all your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/instead-of-asking-a-girl-how-she-feels-try-looking-through-her/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [My mind has trouble processing all the emotions I feel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-mind-has-trouble-processing-all-the-emotions-i-feel/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Its a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/its-a-lack-of-clarity-that-creates-chaos-and-frustration-those/) [Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/) > [For war to man, like childbirth to women, is simplifying in its emotions and activities. All the real problems of life can be put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-s-buck/for-war-to-man-like-childbirth-to-women-is-simplifying-in-its/) [Pearl S. Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-s-buck/) > [“When love carries us away on its brittle wings, we are too intoxicated to comprehend its power. We just want to soar and feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/balroop-singh/when-love-carries-us-away-on-its-brittle-wings-we-are-too-intoxicated/) [Balroop Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/balroop-singh/) > [God, help me to focus on Truth instead of the trial. Help me to give thanks instead of giving into fear. Help me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whitney-daugherty/god-help-me-to-focus-on-truth-instead-of-the-trial-help-me-to-give/) Whitney Daugherty > [Love is an ocean of emotions entirely sorrounded by expensee..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-an-ocean-of-emotions-entirely-sorrounded-by-expensee/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I grew up in a blue-collar neighborhood and was raised by a man who did not emote, ever... I always cry at movies, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-quick/i-grew-up-in-a-blue-collar-neighborhood-and-was-raised-by-a-man-who/) [Matthew Quick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-quick/) [Browse all 4,415 Emotions quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling the emotions of others. Now I'm so afraid, I can't even function.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brandon Sanderson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifetime-controlling-the-emotions/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Emotions" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifetime-controlling-the-emotions/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee3/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifeti_1574899.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's ironic, in a way. I've spent a lifetime controlling the emotions of others. Now I'm so afraid, I can't…” — Brandon Sanderson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Brandon Sanderson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It's ironic, in a way. I've...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifetime-controlling-the-emotions/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/it-s-ironic-in-a-way-i-ve-spent-a-lifetime-controlling-the-emotions/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```