---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: By default I am the good parent. I've…"
description: "\"By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in need and starving for the good parent, so it'..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg"
---

#  By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal…

![“By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in need and starving for the good parent, so it's like I'm bringing my own persona issues into that. I am the parent that I always wanted to have; that's how I look at my role.” quote by Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg)

> “By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in need and starving for the good parent, so it's like I'm bringing my own persona issues into that. I am the parent that I always wanted to have; that's how I look at my role.”

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker sees themselves as a good parent, projecting their own unmet childhood needs onto their role.

**In simple terms:** I act as the parent I never had.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and address personal baggage in caregiving.

Themes

parenting selfreflection projection

Mood

reflective empathetic

Type

advice personal narrative

When to use this quote

- family dynamics
- counseling
- personal growth
- parenting workshops

Key Concepts

psychology attachment theory

Questions to Reflect On

- How do your childhood needs shape your parenting?
- What steps can you take to separate past trauma from current care?

A Different Perspective

Personal history can distort caregiving expectations.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Good parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-parent/) [Issues](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/issues/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Persona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persona/) [Personal experience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personal-experience/) [Personal experiences](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personal-experiences/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/)

## Related quotes

> [Children are our most precious resource, but a good parent or parent-like figure are becoming almost extinct. If you are blessed to have one,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-nathaniel-butler/children-are-our-most-precious-resource-but-a-good-parent-or-parent/)

[Eugene Nathaniel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-nathaniel-butler/)

> [“He thinks giving your kids everything is what makes you a good parent. Like, 'Here's an Xbox, and by the way, I won't be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-krys/he-thinks-giving-your-kids-everything-is-what-makes-you-a-good-parent/)

[Michelle Krys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-krys/)

> [I have sister issues and parent issues and all sorts of things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-kardashian/i-have-sister-issues-and-parent-issues-and-all-sorts-of-things/)

[Kim Kardashian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-kardashian/)

> [If this thing's hushed up it'll be a simple denial to Jem of the way I've tried to raise him. Sometimes I think I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harper-lee/if-this-thing-s-hushed-up-it-ll-be-a-simple-denial-to-jem-of-the-way/)

[Harper Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harper-lee/)

> [I'm pretty proud of the parent that I've become.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farrah-abraham/i-m-pretty-proud-of-the-parent-that-i-ve-become/)

[Farrah Abraham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farrah-abraham/)

> [I like the idea of being a youngish parent. So I've got energy to play football even though they'll be better than me by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-radcliffe/i-like-the-idea-of-being-a-youngish-parent-so-i-ve-got-energy-to-play/)

[Daniel Radcliffe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-radcliffe/)

> [“You know before you have kids, people would tell you—they change everything. That life is so much better with them. That it’s impossible to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-a-allen/you-know-before-you-have-kids-people-would-tell-you-they-change/)

[Amanda A. Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-a-allen/)

> [“When you’re a parent it’s like you wear your heart on the outside of your body.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-cohen/when-you-re-a-parent-it-s-like-you-wear-your-heart-on-the-outside-of/)

[Tammy Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-cohen/)

> [“Asking a parent not to be a parent is like asking the sun not to be hot or snow not to be cold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lesa-howard/asking-a-parent-not-to-be-a-parent-is-like-asking-the-sun-not-to-be/)

[Lesa Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lesa-howard/)

> [I am pretty laid-back as a parent, but I do like a lot of activity. So I am constantly suggesting things to do that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bailey/i-am-pretty-laid-back-as-a-parent-but-i-do-like-a-lot-of-activity-so/)

[Bill Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bailey/)

> [Of course when you lose your parent, it's like one chapter in your book of life ends. It's difficult but it's a part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soha-ali-khan/of-course-when-you-lose-your-parent-it-s-like-one-chapter-in-your/)

[Soha Ali Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soha-ali-khan/)

> [There is no shaming in my house, we don't parent like that. We don't shame or punish, they're communicated with with as much compassion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asher-keddie/there-is-no-shaming-in-my-house-we-don-t-parent-like-that-we-don-t/)

[Asher Keddie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asher-keddie/)

> [“When the child does or says something that the parents don't like, they immediately become rejecting and critical of the child. Since the approval…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-the-child-does-or-says-something-that-the-parents-don-t-like/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Being a parent is like being a catcher. You gotta handle whatever is thrown your way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-swyers/being-a-parent-is-like-being-a-catcher-you-gotta-handle-whatever-is/)

Tom Swyers

> [“Think of your feeling as a six-year-old child: you want to listen to it, and then you need to be the faith-filled grown-up who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zondervan-publishing/think-of-your-feeling-as-a-six-year-old-child-you-want-to-listen-to/)

[Zondervan Publishing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zondervan-publishing/)

## More by Bob Harper

> [I really believe that our past can really hold us back from growth, so the best thing that we can do is MOVE ON…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/i-really-believe-that-our-past-can-really-hold-us-back-from-growth-so/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [When I was first introduced to CrossFit, I found it to be the hardest workout that I'd ever done. It wiped the floor with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/when-i-was-first-introduced-to-crossfit-i-found-it-to-be-the-hardest/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [If you want to be right-sized in body, you've got to get rid of the supersize way of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/if-you-want-to-be-right-sized-in-body-you-ve-got-to-get-rid-of-the/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/if-you-re-wanting-something-salty-do-air-popped-popcorn-that-to-me/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [“Curried Chicken and Quinoa Salad INGREDIENTS 3 ounces cooked chicken breast, cooled ¼ teaspoon curry powder ¼ cup nonfat Greek yogurt ¼ cup cooked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/curried-chicken-and-quinoa-salad-ingredients-3-ounces-cooked-chicken/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [For me, working out is a form of therapy. It's cathartic for me; it's a good stress reliever. I know that when I go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/for-me-working-out-is-a-form-of-therapy-it-s-cathartic-for-me-it-s-a/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [Even though you really don't feel like you're motivated to go to the gym, remember how good you felt after the last time you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/even-though-you-really-don-t-feel-like-you-re-motivated-to-go-to-the/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [It's the fact that no matter how bad it's gotten, the body wants to be healthy. The body wants to bounce back. When you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/it-s-the-fact-that-no-matter-how-bad-it-s-gotten-the-body-wants-to-be/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [You can't be a parent and say, 'I need you to be more active and I need you to eat right,' when you're still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/you-can-t-be-a-parent-and-say-i-need-you-to-be-more-active-and-i-need/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [I found that people like rules, and I love to tell people what to do. It's not rocket science when it comes to weight…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/i-found-that-people-like-rules-and-i-love-to-tell-people-what-to-do/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [Since I started CrossFit, I've read and heard about the critics talk about how unsafe it is, and my only response to that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/since-i-started-crossfit-i-ve-read-and-heard-about-the-critics-talk/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [Stop talking about tomorrow. You owe it to yourself to do whatever you can to live you can to live a better life today.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/stop-talking-about-tomorrow-you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-do-whatever-you/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [Our external environment no longer seems to have any firm boundaries, any limits, or any positive cues about when to stop consuming anything. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/our-external-environment-no-longer-seems-to-have-any-firm-boundaries/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [I believe in the power of the human spirit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/i-believe-in-the-power-of-the-human-spirit/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

> [Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as your spine is flexible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/yoga-is-the-fountain-of-youth-you-re-only-as-young-as-your-spine-is/)

[Bob Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

[Explore all 38 Bob Harper quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/)

## More Default quotes

> [Freedom and liberty lose out by default because good people are not vigilant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/freedom-and-liberty-lose-out-by-default-because-good-people-are-not/)

[Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/)

> [Nick looked vaguely homicidal, but that was sort of his default expression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-rees-brennan/nick-looked-vaguely-homicidal-but-that-was-sort-of-his-default/)

[Sarah Rees Brennan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-rees-brennan/)

> [It's unfortunate that a lot of people think African-American female artists are monolithically R&amp;B this-or-that, don't have to do anything by default.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janelle-monae/it-s-unfortunate-that-a-lot-of-people-think-african-american-female/)

[Janelle Monae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janelle-monae/)

> [In my case, when I am trying to be "kind" I often default in a sort of toothless loving-all stance that is, actually, not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-saunders/in-my-case-when-i-am-trying-to-be-kind-i-often-default-in-a-sort-of/)

[George Saunders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-saunders/)

> [My combined experiences, doing different films, has made me very concerned about and interested in how you protect your creative self when the work,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharlto-copley/my-combined-experiences-doing-different-films-has-made-me-very/)

[Sharlto Copley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharlto-copley/)

> [When I get stressed out my de-stress default is - not cat videos - but I just watch his surrogates. They're so entertaining. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-hanna/when-i-get-stressed-out-my-de-stress-default-is-not-cat-videos-but-i/)

[Kathleen Hanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-hanna/)

> [My face frowns by default, so when I'm most calm is when I appear the least approachable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-leung/my-face-frowns-by-default-so-when-i-m-most-calm-is-when-i-appear-the/)

[Ken Leung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-leung/)

> [I think for me, or for anyone who plays the quarterback position, it's almost an unspoken word when you think about leadership. Some guys…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cam-newton/i-think-for-me-or-for-anyone-who-plays-the-quarterback-position-it-s/)

[Cam Newton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cam-newton/)

> [I, for one, am profoundly grateful to feel the hand of God at work in my life. But at the beginning and end of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charity-sunshine-tillemann-dick/i-for-one-am-profoundly-grateful-to-feel-the-hand-of-god-at-work-in/)

[Charity Sunshine Tillemann-Dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charity-sunshine-tillemann-dick/)

> [The fact is that in a way, journalists become a kind of default in the system when you don't have substantive two-party back-and-forth inside…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-suskind/the-fact-is-that-in-a-way-journalists-become-a-kind-of-default-in-the/)

[Ron Suskind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-suskind/)

> [I do not want America to default on its debt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeb-hensarling/i-do-not-want-america-to-default-on-its-debt/)

[Jeb Hensarling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeb-hensarling/)

> [I have never been a fan of bond funds. Unlike a direct investment in an individual bond that you can hold to maturity and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suze-orman/i-have-never-been-a-fan-of-bond-funds-unlike-a-direct-investment-in/)

[Suze Orman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suze-orman/)

> [Too many politicians seem to reach for 'infrastructure' as the default answer to investment, as if roads and bridges were the answer to everything.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariana-mazzucato/too-many-politicians-seem-to-reach-for-infrastructure-as-the-default/)

[Mariana Mazzucato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariana-mazzucato/)

> ['X-Force' #1 sold 5 million copies. By default, the second issue dipped and did 1.3 million copies. But the cover of 'X-Force' #2 is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-liefeld/x-force-1-sold-5-million-copies-by-default-the-second-issue-dipped/)

[Rob Liefeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-liefeld/)

> [I'm a better editorial cartoonist by default because so many editorial cartoonists out there are so awful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-rall/i-m-a-better-editorial-cartoonist-by-default-because-so-many/)

[Ted Rall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-rall/)

Browse all 340 Default quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in need and starving for the good parent, so it's like I'm bringing my own persona issues into that. I am the parent that I always wanted to have; that's how I look at my role.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Bob Harper"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-used-my-own-personal-experience/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Default"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-used-my-own-personal-experience/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/bob-harper-16906_default_by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-use_1859174.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in…” — Bob Harper",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Bob Harper",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-harper/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "By default I am the good...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-used-my-own-personal-experience/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-harper/by-default-i-am-the-good-parent-i-ve-used-my-own-personal-experience/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
