--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: That was the thing about Ben. He could…" description: "\"“That was the thing about Ben. He could get away with saying shit like that. I totally couldn’t. I wasn’t big or masculine enough. In my mind, anyway. ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e34/bill-konigsberg-14554_agape_that-was-the-thing-about-ben-he-could-ge_3008777.jpg" --- # That was the thing about Ben. He could get away with… ![“That was the thing about Ben. He could get away with saying shit like that. I totally couldn’t. I wasn’t big or masculine enough. In my mind, anyway. But Ben could get all agape on your ass, and you’d just sit there like, huh. Agape. Interesting.” quote by Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e34/bill-konigsberg-14554_agape_that-was-the-thing-about-ben-he-could-ge_3008777.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e34/bill-konigsberg-14554_agape_that-was-the-thing-about-ben-he-could-ge_3008777.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e34/bill-konigsberg-14554_agape_that-was-the-thing-about-ben-he-could-ge_3008777.jpg) > ““That was the thing about Ben. He could get away with saying shit like that. I totally couldn’t. I wasn’t big or masculine enough. In my mind, anyway. But Ben could get all agape on your ass, and you’d just sit there like, huh. Agape. Interesting.”” [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A speaker feels powerless compared to a more dominant peer who can speak harshly without repercussions. **In simple terms:** Feeling inferior when others speak boldly. Key Takeaway Recognize your own voice’s value. Themes insecurity power dynamics communication Mood frustrated reflective Type observational conversational When to use this quote - workplace - friendship - social gatherings - conflict resolution Key Concepts confidence social hierarchy self‑esteem Questions to Reflect On - How can you assert yourself without aggression? - What limits your willingness to speak up? A Different Perspective Power imbalances can silence honest expression. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Agape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agape/) [Ben Agape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ben-agape-4813473/) [Big Masculine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/big-masculine-2209561/) [Mind Ben](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind-ben-4813474/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Saying Shit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/saying-shit-325685/) [Thing Ben](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thing-ben-4813472/) ## Related quotes > [I like men who are very cool but also so brilliant that they are almost insane. Sean Penn, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits-men who would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jolene-blalock/i-like-men-who-are-very-cool-but-also-so-brilliant-that-they-are/) [Jolene Blalock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jolene-blalock/) > [I also like men who have hands with big masculine veins that you can squish and move.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jolene-blalock/i-also-like-men-who-have-hands-with-big-masculine-veins-that-you-can/) [Jolene Blalock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jolene-blalock/) > [The Greeks were smarter than us, and they had different words for different kinds of love. There's storge, which is family love. That's not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/the-greeks-were-smarter-than-us-and-they-had-different-words-for/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“To agape,” we all echoed, raising our wineglasses and drinking to higher love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/to-agape-we-all-echoed-raising-our-wineglasses-and-drinking-to-higher/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [Instead of saying shit to people and denying it say it to my damn face or shut the fuck up!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/instead-of-saying-shit-to-people-and-denying-it-say-it-to-my-damn/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Its like I feel bad for his new bitch, saying the same shit to her as to me. boy, get some new shit, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/its-like-i-feel-bad-for-his-new-bitch-saying-the-same-shit-to-her-as/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gawd I'm tired of people telling me to kill myself. You know what I got to say to that right now? Fuck off! Im…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/gawd-i-m-tired-of-people-telling-me-to-kill-myself-you-know-what-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Tired of saying shit to make these niggas understand, so I'll be everything that you say I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/tired-of-saying-shit-to-make-these-niggas-understand-so-i-ll-be/) [Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/) > [“I know I’m asking a lot, but I need for you to be able to ignore me when I’m pissed and saying shit that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-banks/i-know-i-m-asking-a-lot-but-i-need-for-you-to-be-able-to-ignore-me/) [Maya Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-banks/) > [“Do you...” I shook my head. “Do you honestly think saying shit like that is a turn-on?” “Yes...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whitney-gracia-williams/do-you-i-shook-my-head-do-you-honestly-think-saying-shit-like-that-is/) [Whitney Gracia Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/whitney-gracia-williams/) > [“Biden likes to be candid in such settings. In 1979, on one of his first trips to the Soviet Union, he listened to an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/biden-likes-to-be-candid-in-such-settings-in-1979-on-one-of-his-first/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I made a mil before 25 man and I ain't even no lie bitch I ain't saying that shit to brag neither I'm saying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/big-sean/i-made-a-mil-before-25-man-and-i-ain-t-even-no-lie-bitch-i-ain-t/) [Big Sean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/big-sean/) > [“Things I Used to Get Hit For: Talking back. Being smart. Acting stupid. Not listening. Not answering the first time. Not doing what I’m…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-thurber/things-i-used-to-get-hit-for-talking-back-being-smart-acting-stupid/) [Bob Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-thurber/) > [“They can’t shit on us,” said Alex. “That’s really what I’m saying. You can’t shit on us anymore.” There was a silence. “I just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-ronson/they-can-t-shit-on-us-said-alex-that-s-really-what-i-m-saying-you-can/) [Jon Ronson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-ronson/) > [There's a term, agape, you hear used a lot with charismatic religious groups, that it's this more pure love of caring, of sharing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-jackson/there-s-a-term-agape-you-hear-used-a-lot-with-charismatic-religious/) [Phil Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-jackson/) ## More by Bill Konigsberg > [“I shivered. Careful, I told myself. You don't want to set yourself up for a fall. Be happy. Just not too happy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/i-shivered-careful-i-told-myself-you-don-t-want-to-set-yourself-up/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“It’s hard when you open your heart and let someone in and then suddenly they’re not in it anymore. It doesn’t matter whose fault…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/it-s-hard-when-you-open-your-heart-and-let-someone-in-and-then/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where no one thought being gay was even something to ride someone about?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/wouldn-t-it-be-nice-if-we-lived-in-a-world-where-no-one-thought-being/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [The world needs people who are more comfortable standing still. We keep the earth on it axis when everybody else is bouncing around.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/the-world-needs-people-who-are-more-comfortable-standing-still-we/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“To agape,” we all echoed, raising our wineglasses and drinking to higher love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/to-agape-we-all-echoed-raising-our-wineglasses-and-drinking-to-higher/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“Then Albie reached into his pocket and pulled out one shiny Jonathan apple. “Hungry?” he asked us. “How’d you do that?” I asked, wondering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/then-albie-reached-into-his-pocket-and-pulled-out-one-shiny-jonathan/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“I think some people are bi, definitely.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/i-think-some-people-are-bi-definitely/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“When trust is violated, it's like you're left with an empty piggy bank. Building trust again, she said, is like putting big, fat nickels…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/when-trust-is-violated-it-s-like-you-re-left-with-an-empty-piggy-bank/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“I had the strong sensation that I'd underestimated my parents and their devotion to me. Of course they'd be on my side, whether they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/i-had-the-strong-sensation-that-i-d-underestimated-my-parents-and/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“Why can’t I just be bad?” I asked, figuring my mom would have no idea what I was talking about. “Well, that’s easy, sweetie.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/why-can-t-i-just-be-bad-i-asked-figuring-my-mom-would-have-no-idea/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“We hugged, and my dad cried a little. I don't have a macho-type dad, who hunts and fishes and collects guns. He's sensitive and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/we-hugged-and-my-dad-cried-a-little-i-don-t-have-a-macho-type-dad-who/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“A thought came to me. What do I think about the date with Rafe? Here I am thinking about what everyone else would think,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/a-thought-came-to-me-what-do-i-think-about-the-date-with-rafe-here-i/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“was an amazing guy, really. Totally himself. Totally unapologetic about having all these different sides of his personality that didn’t quite mesh. He didn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/was-an-amazing-guy-really-totally-himself-totally-unapologetic-about/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [I don't think about relatability (when writing), I think about the heart of the character.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/i-don-t-think-about-relatability-when-writing-i-think-about-the-heart/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“And during, I realized that the labels didn’t matter, because when two people feel that sort of pull toward each other, it just works,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/and-during-i-realized-that-the-labels-didn-t-matter-because-when-two/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) [Explore all 46 Bill Konigsberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) ## More Agape quotes > [There's a term, agape, you hear used a lot with charismatic religious groups, that it's this more pure love of caring, of sharing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-jackson/there-s-a-term-agape-you-hear-used-a-lot-with-charismatic-religious/) [Phil Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-jackson/) > [Agape means recognition of the fact that all life is interrelated. All humanity is involved in a single process, and all men are brothers.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr/agape-means-recognition-of-the-fact-that-all-life-is-interrelated-all/) [Martin Luther King, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr/) > [There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction. Unconditional love, agape love, will not be swayed by time or circumstances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-kendrick/there-must-be-a-stronger-foundation-than-mere-friendship-or-sexual/) [Stephen Kendrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-kendrick/) > [“Agape love is strengthened by the person who expresses it - not by the person who receives it. In fact, the person who receives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-apollo/agape-love-is-strengthened-by-the-person-who-expresses-it-not-by-the/) [Brian Apollo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-apollo/) > [“Every action is a losing, a letting go, a passing away from oneself of some bit of one’s own reality into the existence of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-c-mcgill/every-action-is-a-losing-a-letting-go-a-passing-away-from-oneself-of/) [Arthur C. McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-c-mcgill/) > [“No doubt, God has placed you in the position to love the unlovely, whether or not you've been obedient to that command. In fact,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/no-doubt-god-has-placed-you-in-the-position-to-love-the-unlovely/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [What I am trying to say is that it is not without any value. The value of copies is that they can direct us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abbas-kiarostami/what-i-am-trying-to-say-is-that-it-is-not-without-any-value-the-value/) [Abbas Kiarostami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abbas-kiarostami/) > [My teenage children watched Senator Clinton on the Today Show, mouths agape. They attended our local caucus with me and saw hundreds of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shoshana-zuboff/my-teenage-children-watched-senator-clinton-on-the-today-show-mouths/) [Shoshana Zuboff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shoshana-zuboff/) > [“ Agape is disinterested love. It is a love in which the individual seeks not his own good, but the good of his neighbor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr-2/agape-is-disinterested-love-it-is-a-love-in-which-the-individual/) [Martin Luther King Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr-2/) > [“To agape,” we all echoed, raising our wineglasses and drinking to higher love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/to-agape-we-all-echoed-raising-our-wineglasses-and-drinking-to-higher/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [Agape is disinterested love. . . . Agape does not begin by discriminating between worthy and unworthy people, or any qualities people possess. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr/agape-is-disinterested-love-agape-does-not-begin-by-discriminating/) [Martin Luther King, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr/) > [“HE remembered looking "agape" in his encyclopedia volume after he read Dr. King's speech in the DEFENDER. The newspaper ran the address in full…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colson-whitehead/he-remembered-looking-agape-in-his-encyclopedia-volume-after-he-read/) [Colson Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colson-whitehead/) > [We must never stop dreaming. Dreams provide nourishment for the soul, just as a meal does for the body. Many times in our lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/we-must-never-stop-dreaming-dreams-provide-nourishment-for-the-soul/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“Experience and Demonstrate the Agape Love, is far more than Gold - Go for it”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-asumadu-sarkodie/experience-and-demonstrate-the-agape-love-is-far-more-than-gold-go/) [Samuel Asumadu-Sarkodie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-asumadu-sarkodie/) > [“Sissy had two great failings. She was a great lover and a great mother. She had so much of tenderness in her, so much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-smith/sissy-had-two-great-failings-she-was-a-great-lover-and-a-great-mother/) [Betty Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-smith/) [Browse all 71 Agape quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agape/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“That was the thing about Ben. 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